Disclaimer : I don't own twilight or any of the characters but I do however own Stephanie Meyer's soul.
Okay ... So I didn't update in ages. Sorry! Please don't hurt me! I'm updating now though! Yay!!! Tehe ;)
Muahaha this chapter is written to the Bella's lullaby - the one by Carter Burwell - lol ;)
Chapter 4 : Telling dearest Eddie.
Bella's point of view:
'Alice. I want to tell Edward but I don't want to take Haley away from him! She's his ... Well, I'm not whether she's his friend or girlfriend but I can't take that away from him!' Alice soothed me and gave me a hug.
'We can't go to school today, it's going to be sunny, and I'll send him over. Let him see you as Bella or play your lullaby on the piano. The original version not the new sad one.' Again with the new lullaby, I didn't get it.
'Yeah what is with that new lullaby? I don't get it.' I muttered as she pulled me upstairs to my wardrobe.
'Oh that. Well he got all emo depressed on us and when he played the piano that was the only thing that he could play. Now sit. I'm going to find your outfit.' She pushed me onto the bed and again disappeared into my vast wardrobe.
When she reappeared Alice dressed me in a long black tank with a flower rhinestone on it and blue skinnies. I practiced the lullaby for ages until I could play it through without hesitation and when Alice deemed it perfect she got ready to leave.
'Edward will be here in 10 minutes so start playing as soon as you can hear the Volvo. I'll see you later Bella. Bye!' She danced out the door.
'Bye.' I whispered. Suddenly overcome with nerves.
When Edward was just rounding the corner onto the drive I changed back to Bella and started to play the piano. Edward shut the Volvo door and burst into the house.
'What the hell!?!' He screeched, the pain in his voice heavy. I stood up and looked at him.
'Hi, Edward. I missed you.' He froze, stick to the floor. 'Nice way to great your ex!' I was teasing him now. 'I mean, I know you don't love me but really!' He walked forward into the lounge.
'Bella. Oh my god. Your alive!' I had one of my mood swings and my hair flashed blood red then back to brown. He was stunned momentarily by the change in my hair. I took advantage of the fact and walked over, pushing him down into the settee he was standing in front of.
'Too damn right I'm alive! Now you better start explaining. Fast.' All I could feel at that moment was hate and anger, my light teasing mood gone.
'Explain what?' I laughed in his face but it was sharp and harsh. Not soft and light as it used to be.
'Why your screwed up our lives and why you never tried to find me!'
'Oh. I screwed up my life to protect you from me. I didn't want you changed or dead. And please don't tell me I screwed up your life as well.'
'My god, Edward. I loved you and you thought you could just bugger off and everything would be okay. Shall I tell you how you screwed up my life? Hmm?' I cocked my head to the side questioningly and slide forward so I was straddling his lap. I leaned close and started to whisper in his ear. 'Well, when you left I stopped eating. Became anorexic, got depression and insomnia. I started to cut myself. A lot.' His arms lifted and he hugged me. I tensed in his arms.
'I'm so sorry, Bella. I had no idea. I'm really sorry.' I shoved him back and slid back of his lap, stepping away from him.
'Why didn't you try to find me?'
'I didn't want to break my promise. Wait. Where's Haley?' I thought I'd annoy him.
'Who's Haley?' I asked innocently.
'The vampire who used to live here. She had blonde hair with red highlights.' Hmm ... Maybe I could break his heart a little bit more ...
'She went psycho vampire on me. So I killed her.' His face tightened.
'No. She can't be dead.' He stood up and looked around. 'Haley? Haley!?!' He called then whirled back to me. 'You killed her!?! I can't believe you! You stupid ... idiotic ...' He slapped me. Wait. Edward slapped me? Ouch. It didn't hurt really, well, not physically anyway.
'Oh my god, Edward! I didn't even touch her! I was just screwing with you! She's right here!' I flicked back so I looked like Haley. Shock crossed his face. When I spoke again it was in her voice. 'Please get out. And don't bother coming back.' He stared open mouthed.
'But ... What? ... How?' I ignored him and went and opened the door.
'Get out. Now.' I growled at him. He walked towards the door slowly.
'Bella. Haley. Whoever. I'm sorry.' He kept walking forward then paused, one foot in, one foot out. 'Bella. I'm sorry. But I just have to tell you one thing. I still love you.' Then he was gone. In his Volvo and reversing out of the drive. I felt wet running down my back and realized it was still raining. I took a step outside. I was soaked in seconds but it felt good, comforting almost. My knees gave way and I fell to the floor. It was that second I realized the one thing in my life that I should have never doubted.
I loved Edward Cullen.
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A few hours later.
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Alice emerged from the forest and when she saw me on the floor where I had fallen she ran to me.
'Oh my god, Bella! What's wrong, what happened!?!'
'He ... Still ... Loves ... Me.' She picked me up and pulled me onto her lap, cradling me in her arms.
'Of course he does. Now what's wrong with that?' I choked back the lump in my throat.
'I still love him!' I wailed. She may as well have had "confused" on a sign over her head the look on her face was so obvious.
'Okay. Now that's just as confusing as hell. Please enlighten me as to your crazy ways.' I laughed at her strange sentence.
'It's not fair to him! I mean, I can't trust him! And I can never say "I love you" back because I'm too scared. Because as soon as I say it then I'll just be waiting for him to leave me again. And I don't think I would survive this time.' I heard the rustle of leaves and looked up. Edward was standing just behind the fence that broke of the front yard from the forest. I stood up and reached for him but he just turned and ran. 'Shit.' I winced. Alice rubbed my shoulder sympathetically. 'I'll go catch him.' I darted forward and jumped over the fence, following Edward's scent. I pushed myself to my limits and before I knew it I was at the edge of our meadow, Edward standing in the middle, staring straight at me.
'How much did you hear?' I asked, although I already knew the answer.
'Everything. I came with Alice to apologize for being such a jerk but when I saw you on the ground I froze.' My face tingled slightly from where he had slapped me.
'Oh.' Then I was across the meadow and at his side.
'I love you, Bella.' I kissed his cheek in response. 'Do you love me?' I kissed his cheek again. 'Answer me, Bella. I need to know.' I shook my head.
'I can't Edward. I can't let myself. If you hurt me again I don't think I would recover. I barely scraped through the last time.' He turned to face me.
'Can I kiss you?' He asked, tilting his head slightly.
'Not yet.' I answered in a sad tone. I was gutted that he couldn't kiss me but I had to take care of my future not just the present second.
'Why?' He could hear the sadness in my voice. He just didn't understand it.
'Prove to me that you love me. Earn my trust. Then you can kiss me. Then I'll say it.' He lay down on the grass, pulling me down with him.
'I love you so much, Bella, that I can't focus on anything else when you're around. I commit your every move and expression to memory. The way you play with your hair. The way you chew on your lip. The sound of your voice gives me hope in anything and everything. I don't want to spend another day without you. Another second. So, Bella, will you marry me?' I blinked.
'For real?' He moved to kneel in front of me and pulled out a black jewellery box with an engagement ring in. It was nestled in the black velvet lining and was a simple design. Two bands of gold with a row of alternating diamonds and topaz. It was gorgeous. Perfect.
'Marry me, Bella. Or say you don't want me. Just give me some piece of mind.' I nodded.
'Edward. Oh, Edward! Yes! And I want you forever!' I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him close. 'Oh and seeing as you gained my trust and proved your love in one you can kiss me.' He lent forward then paused.
'I love you?' He said as a question, simply looking for an answer. I laughed and touched his nose.
'I love you more. Now shut the hell up and kiss me.' He laughed briefly then kissed me and my life was complete.
Then a round of applause started behind us. 6 people. Vampires. The Cullens to be exact. Edward and I didn't stop kissing though. Even when Emmett cleared his throat.
'Go away.' Emmett mumbled around our kiss. I was feeling very aroused and felt my hair change to pink.
'Woah! Jesus titty fucking Christ! Bella's hair's fucking pink!' Everyone laughed except for Esme who I presumed was the person who whacked him around his head.
'Emmett! Language!' She snapped at him and he instantly shut up. Edward and I hadn't started kissing yet but we turned back to each other.
'Is that because of -' I cut him off knowing what he was going to ask.
'Yep. Same reason why it went red earlier. I mean, reason it changed colour not that it went pink. The pink and red mean totally different things an-' Edward pressed his finger over my lips.
'Sssh. It's okay. I understand.' I smiled at him nervously. 'And I don't have a problem with that. In fact, I may use it to my advantage.' He said with a sly smile. I nearly hit him.
'Oh! I get it does her hair change when -' Me and Edward both cut Jasper off at the same time. Of course the mood person would get it.
'Yep.' We said in a prompt, quick way. Jasper laughed. At me. So I pouted.
'Jasper. Stop laughing at, Bella. It's making her go all sulky.' Edward laughed and Jasper just laughed harder. My hair changed a strange shade of red with bits of blue in it. Edward noticed the change. 'Bella. Your hair changed again. It's a weird red with bits of blue in. Why?' It was my turn to laugh at him and Jasper explained to everyone else who was looking extremely confused.
'Her hair changes colour with her emotions. That weird red with blue bits is annoyance. Red would be anger. Blue, sadness. Green, jealousy. Yellow, envy. The usual kiddie stuff. Am I right Bella?' He asked me.
'Correct, my dear emotion reading vampire. Brown is calm and black is pain. My sister didn't understand at first. My hair seemed to vary from black to blue to red in my new born year. It was quite funny actually. I wasn't allowed in public for the next few years after that because of my mood swings.' Everyone nodded in understanding. Apart from Emmett.
'So what does pink mean?' He whined. Everyone laughed again and I hid my face in Edward's shoulder. 'Rosie? What is it?' He moaned. Rosalie neatly cuffed him round the back of the head.
'Shut up, you idiot! You're embarrassing her!' She yelled at him.
'But I don't-'
'If I tell you will you shut up?' She asked getting annoyed.
'Yes.'
'Sorry, Bella. I don't want to tell him but he will moan for weeks.' I nodded lightly, removing my face from Edward's shoulder. 'When Bella gets pink hair it means she's feeling ... ummm ... aroused.' She completed finally. Then, to see if she could lessen my embarrassment she turned to back to him. 'Now do you know what aroused means? Or would you like mommy to explain that as well?' She finished in a sarcastic baby tone. Everyone laughed and Emmett shuffled awkwardly. I tugged on Edward's hand. He looked down at me.
'Do you wanna get out of here?' I asked in a general, friendly way. Which, of course, he didn't get.
'Ummm ... Emmett totally just ruined the mood, love.' He said in a bewildered tone.
'I didn't mean that you div! I meant to you want to get out of here and hang out! Seriously, guys just don't possess the normal skills of intuition..' I muttered the last part to myself but I know Edward picked up on it.
'Oh. Wow I'm stupid. Who's house mine or yours?' Again, no intuition. Seriously.
'Mine. I get the feeling if we go to yours I'll be bombarded with questions every few seconds about my hair colour.' I shot a glance at Emmett who grinned at me, totally unfazed.
'Fair play. Lets go.' He started to lead me out of the meadow when Alice called him.
'Edward ...' She said and let him see inside her head.
'Woah! Okay!' He suddenly had a massive grin on his face. He started to run and I ran with him, puzzling over his mysterious reaction. But I didn't have time to ask because we were at my house quick as anything. Edward led me into the house and we sat on the settee together. I flicked through channels on the TV before standing up.
'Edward. I've gotta take a shower. You'll be okay won't you?' He grinned again and nodded. I smiled at him and darted upstairs into my room. I looked in the mirror at my appearance before shedding my clothes and grabbing a towel. I bounced into the shower and turned it on, not even bothered when the water wasn't hot. I was thinking about Edward. Mystified by his strange response to whatever Alice had thought. I couldn't figure it out. What could it be? I put shampoo into my hair and started to rub it into my hair. I heard a creak on the floor boards and smiled to myself. I washed the shampoo out of my hair as quickly as I could, flicked off the shower and jumped out in under a second. Edward didn't stand a chance. He was standing inside the bathroom, holding my towel. Crap.
'Can I have my towel please Edward?' I asked sweetly, not even attempting to cover myself up. I was wet and naked and he was completely at my mercy. His face was slightly shocked that I'd caught him but otherwise his eyes were filled with lust. He nodded numbly, still staring at me.
'S-sure.' He stumbled. I walked over to him, grabbed my towel out his hand and pushed his mouth closed.
'Mouth closed Edward. Staring is fine but I don't do gaping.' I started to towel dry my hair, still not covering myself up. Edward moaned. 'Something wrong Edward? Does my being wet and naked bother you?' I asked in a completely casual, couldn't-care-less tone. Edward seemed to snap out of his daze.
'Nope.' He answered quickly and firmly.
'Good. Then may I ask why you haven't taken your clothes off and got back in the shower with me?' I asked and he smiled, doing exactly what I said. Except he didn't get into the shower. He shed his clothes and stood staring at me. I ran my eye over his body and was fully satisfied.
'See something you like, Miss Swan?' He asked as if we were strangers meeting in the streets rather than a totally naked couple. I walked over and kissed his lips.
'Yep. You.' And I led him onto the bed.
And that is the end of the chapter. I'm not going to write a lemon! Okay? I can't be bothered, I don't want to and I don't want to change the rating on this to an M. Anyhoo, did you like? I wrote this whilst high on sugar so it may be slightly weird. Tehe ;) R&R please!
Smiles! Xoxo!!!