Second.

My hands gripped the steering wheel as I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the headrest. I tried to calm my breathing by taking big slow breaths, my heart was still racing. I couldn't believe that I had found Damon Salvatore. After a few moments I opened my eyes, sat up and released the wheel. I tried to sort out all of the emotions I was feeling, anxiety, anger, frustration, attraction, but they all manifested as one, fear. I was afraid that everyone would find out who and what I was, afraid of the rejection they were sure to dole out when they realized my connection to Katherine, afraid that my anger regarding what had happened between Alexia and Damon would surface and I wouldn't be able to stay in control. I had to calm down. There was no way that I could function if I let the fear take over.

I opened the door of my SUV and stepped out onto the narrow street next to The Grille. I had been sitting in there for hours and the sun had already set. I walked around to the front of the building it occurred to me that I might run into Damon again if he hadn't left, but I didn't care. I needed something to help calm my rattled nerves and there was no better relief than that of a stiff drink. I took one more deep breath to compose myself before walking in. Thankfully as I swung the heavy door open I did not see him at the bar.

I made my way through the dining area to the bar and ordered. As I waited I looked around the large room. There were couples sitting down at the tables sharing a meal, a group of teenagers had taken over the pool tables in the back, and another group bellied up to the bar with steins full of beer and glasses of other colorful concoctions in hand. As I watched them laughing and ribbing one another I couldn't help but think that they all looked far too young to be drinking, but as I turned back to pay the bartender I caught a glimpse of my own face in a mirror and realized that I probably wasn't the best person to be judging them.

I ordered two double shots of tequila and ten minutes later I was back out in the fresh air again walking back to my truck, staring up at the stars and allowing my arm to heal. I'd stopped at a camping supply store on my way to Mystic Falls and had picked up a self-inflating mattress, a few small pillows and a sleeping bag. With the seats down in the back of the SUV the mattress fit perfectly. As I wrestled the plastic off of the sleeping bag a strange feeling started to creep up on me. It wasn't the fear that I had felt before, the tequila had taken care of that, this was an entirely different feeling, one of sadness and betrayal; it could only be a residual reaction to what Damon had done to Alexia. I hurried to finish setting up the bed, climbed into the back of the truck and pulled the trunk closed.

I slid into the sleeping bag and my tired body rejoiced as the muscles relaxed, but my mind was still very much awake. I lay still for a few minutes with my eyes closed hoping to allow sleep to take over, but it eluded me. I reached for my phone and hit the button to illuminate the screen. My throat caught, as it always did when I turned the foolish contraption on, as a photo of Alexia and I at some county fair dressed in period costumes stared back at me. I could feel fresh hot tears stinging my eyes as I turned the phone off. I missed her so much but I hadn't allowed myself to come to terms with her death yet. I rolled over on my side bunching the pillows up under my head and eventually fell into a restless sleep.

As I tossed and turned images flooded my head without any cohesive thread holding them together; just a jumble of pictures. I saw The Grille, lots of teenagers, pool tables, the bar, tequila, the stone fireplace in my rental in Toronto, a woman with short blond hair, men in uniforms. I felt angry and scared, but too weak to act on it. I felt as though I was being dragged, the rush of cool autumn air. I heard gun shots, felt rage bubbling up, saw Damon's face and then nothing.

I bolted upright, slamming my head on the ceiling light as pain shot through me like lightning. It took me a moment before I was able to concentrate and cast my eyes upwards, and then, the pain was gone. I turned and looked in the rearview mirror, but any sign of trauma had disappeared. I raked my fingers through my knotted hair, opened the door and stepped out into the cool morning air. Grabbing a small backpack from the front seat I crossed the town square and headed into a small coffee shop. Sitting at the counter I ordered some coffee and asked the waitress if there was a bathroom I could use.

Once in a stall I changed out of my clothes from the previous day into a clean outfit. At the sink I stared into the mirror as my dark eyes stared right back. There wasn't a wrinkle or a grey hair, nothing to indicate my advanced age. The face of a twenty year old was all I saw, it was all I would ever see; not that it was a bad looking face, rounded chubby cheeks, a deep dimple on the right, a small dark mole on the left. I fished around in my pack for a hairbrush, some make-up and a toothbrush. I yanked my hair back into a long ponytail and added a headband for good measure, dabbed some concealer under my eyes to hide the dark circles that had taken up residence there a few years before, brushed my teeth and applied some lip gloss. I stood back and looked at my reflection, satisfied I stuffed everything back into the pack, stopped at the counter to leave a tip and headed back out.

I kept my head down as I walked across the square trying not to draw any attention to myself. I was about twenty yards from my truck when suddenly I stopped dead in my tracks. A sick feeling passed over me as images again began to flood my mind, this time in a more fluid sequence, but I noted that this time I was an observer, not a participant. I saw Alexia and Damon at the bar, three police officers headed towards her. I watched as they injected her with what appeared to be vervain and dragged her out to the darkened street just behind where I stood. Alexia's face transformed and she threw the two men who held her arms off of her. The blonde haired woman who wore a sheriff's badge on her chest started shooting in my direction. I ducked to avoid being hit and tried to warn Alexia, but she didn't hear me. The bullets pierced her skin but then bounced to the ground. As she rushed towards the sheriff I stood just in time to see Damon slip in behind her with a stake in hand. I screamed as I saw the stake enter her heart, felt pain rip through my chest and watched as she crumbled to the ground. I put my hand to my mouth but it barely helped to contain my screams, I closed my eyes and allowed the tears to stream down my face.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and was vaguely aware of a voice, "Ma'am are you alright?"

I opened my eyes and the dark of night had vanished. Sunlight poured over me and I had to shade my swollen eyes to see who was behind me. Again I heard the voice; this time I recognized it as belonging to a woman, asking if I was okay. In one swift movement I pushed my knee into the concrete and slid it a few inches to allow the flesh to be torn open. I stood, wiping at my legs to loosen the dirt.

"I'm fine, I just tripped and was a little stunned," I muttered, "It's no big deal." I looked up to see who had come to my aid and felt my heart stop, my blood boil in my veins as I saw the face of the sheriff, the woman who was partly responsible for my Alexia's death.

Our eyes locked for a moment as I let my mind register who she was. I could feel rage building up inside of me and I knew I had to get out of there fast. I started to walk away.

"You should really have a doctor take a look at that knee," she called. I kept walking, insisting that it was only a scratch, blood coursing down my leg. I climbed into my truck, turned the key in the ignition and took off, probably faster than I should have in front of the police, but I didn't care, I needed to put some distance between she and I so that I didn't act on the overwhelming urge to rip her head off. I looked down at my leg, she was right; I had done a better job than I thought on my knee. When I reached a traffic light and slowed to a stop I looked up into the clouds and felt the pain ease.

How was I going to do this? How could I try and live alongside these people, these vampire haters? Who could I trust with my secrets? How was I ever supposed to find Katherine, and most importantly, how had I gotten myself into this mess?