Rating: M to be on the safe side, will be bad language and knowing me a lot of slashy goodness
Warning: this will most definitely be slash, but will hopefully also contain humour, or at least my version of humour. Anyway, if you don't like serious lovin' between two guys then this is not for you. May also contain het, not sure exactly where this is going yet :-/
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, I just use them to do stuff my original characters won't let me do. Neither do I own the X Factor, thank god as it's really starting to suck now, not that it was that fab to begin with…
Summary: Due to being housebound at night with my amazing wee son I have been watching the X Factor, and also X Factor USA. This fic stems from imagining my fave characters in that situation and a lot of sleepless nights due to my sons incessant teething. So yeah, I decided Dumbledore having a crazy moment and bring the Hex Factor (clever innit?) to Hogwarts.
For the rest of the day, Harry was bombarded with notes during lessons asking him to audition, begging him to, even promising all sorts of earthly delights to audition. It wasn't until Potions that he finally had enough, and after seeing Malfoy smirk at him once again, making Harry wonder if he had some sort of facial tic, he stood up and slammed his inkwell on the desk.
"Okay! I'll audition, stop bloody bothering me okay?" he yelled. He stood there breathing heavily, one of his eyes twitching, until he noticed Snape loom out of the darkness looking as if all his Christmases had come at once.
"Mister Potter, seeing as though you can't seem contain your egotistical outbursts for the length of a lesson, you have earned yourself detention for a week", he turned his back on him and began walking to his desk, ignoring the muttering in the class, "50 points will also be taken from Gryffindor, now sit down before I make it more." Harry huffed and turned red from anger, viciously elbowing Ron as he sat down for his part in passing on the notes. Needless to say the other Gryffindors didn't speak a word of what had happened, and indeed kept their distance for the remainder of the day, not wanting Harry to extract revenge on them. After all, they still remembered the last Hufflepuff who tried to take a picture of him in the locker rooms. Mind you it was hard to forget seeing as though he was still sporting pink rabbit ears and a very fluffy tail.
Before long, the entire castle was alive with the sound of music. Students could be found in unused classrooms all over the castle, and for once they weren't doing the usual hormone induced activities. Well, a few were, but they were soon pushed out by some diva who needed to practice their scales. At first it was novel hearing so much music and Harry enjoyed it, even singing along sometimes much to the pleasure of his fans. However by the end of the week it was simply annoying, and if he heard one more student murdering his favourite songs they wouldn't be able to sit for a week.
It was on one of his jaunts to the furthest reaches of the castle, the only places he knew would afford him some peace and quiet, that he stumbled across the one person he wished he hadn't.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked grumpily as soon as he spotted him. Malfoy sneered. Seriously, what is with his face? Harry wondered.
"Trying to avoid miserable little bastards like you", the blonde replied. Now Harry was used to being called a bastard, he was also used to being called miserable, however being called little was something he just did not tolerate.
"Listen dick head, if you dare to call me little again I'll…well…I'm not entirely sure, however it will be bad! Very, very bad!"
Draco snorted, "Whatever Potty, I'm sure the big bad Gryffindor could come up with some terrifying punishment, maybe set a puppy on me to lick me to death yes?"
Harry stepped closer, his eyes glowing with irritation, "Or maybe I'll just lick you..to..death..myself?" he trailed off with a squeak.
Draco blushed, "What the fuck are you talking about Potter?"
Laughing nervously he mumbled a reply, "I don't have a clue Malfoy, just be told yeah? Any more shit from you and you'll be sorry!"
"Sure Potter, I'm terrified of the prospect of you licking me. In fact I'm trembling in my oh so fine, and oh so expensive one of a kind boots. Oh please, please don't lick me almighty villainous bad ass", he chuckled as he turned away, "See you around idiot."
Harry stared at his retreating back, wondering where it had all gone so wrong, "Hey! Don't call me an idiot!" he shouted after him, "Stupid, posh, lickable twat", he muttered. His eyes widened as his mind caught up with his mouth. Nooooooo, I did not say lickable! I said kickable! He groaned as he knew he didn't believe his own lie. Damn it, I am an idiot.
The next weekend came round far too quickly for Harry. All day Saturday there was plenty of activity as the Great Hall was set up to accommodate a huge stage, complete with judges table situated in front of it. Magical spotlights were set up to shine down on the stage and the judges table, and magically acceptable microphones were tested by various stage crew. Excited students crowded round the doors of the Great Hall hoping for a glimpse of the set-up, Filch threatening them with detention and being strung up by their thumbs for getting in the way.
Due to the activities within the Hall, meals were served in the common rooms, buffet style. It was novel, however Harry thought he would have enjoyed it more if it wasn't for the constant bloody singing, the practicing of scales and impromptu harmonising. This weekend could not be over quick enough for Harry, and he solemnly swore to get hold of a Justin Bieber CD as soon as he could and tear it to shreds with his teeth.
He had chosen his song and practiced it for a half hour a couple of days ago and then pursued more interesting things. After all, he wasn't really bothered about the whole contest, he was merely getting people off his back. He didn't give a crap if he didn't go through. He'd try his best of course, like a Gryffindor should, however he wasn't going to turn into, shudder, Lavender.
Unfortunately the girls in his house weren't so blasé about the whole thing and he ended up being dragged up to his dorm where he endured hours of trying on outfits and being stared at like a lab rat. Man he wished he were a lab rat. At least he could run through cool mazes and eat cheese. Sighing he shooed the girls out while he got dressed, grimacing at himself in the mirror, wondering when the hell they had managed to out eye liner on him. Not that he was complaining too much, he thought he looked pretty awesome with it on, but that was beside the point dammit.
As he fastened the last buttons on his shirt and stepped into his trainers, stumbling slightly until they were on properly, he took a deep breath and prepared himself for what was sure to be an embarrassing evening.
Ron and Hermione were standing next to an excited looking Ginny as he came down the stairs. He shuffled up to them, not daring to look Ron in the eye. Unfortunately he noticed anyway and let out a roaring laugh.
"They got to you too did they? Thought they might", he sniggered.
Harry looked up sharply, "Who else did they get?" he asked curiously as he searched the common room. Ron nodded his head to the far side of the room and Harry felt slightly happier when he glimpsed a mortified looking Dennis Creevey along with a couple of other guys he didn't know.
Harry laughed and straightened up, "As long as I'm not the only one it's fine", he grinned, "Shall we?" he asked as he made a sweeping bow in the direction of the door. Ginny grinned back at him, "We shall!" she exclaimed leading the way. Ron and Hermione followed close behind, the red head muttering something about loony diva's.
As the entered the Great Hall they gasped in amazement, "It looks just like it does on TV", whispered Hermione in an awe struck voice.
Harry narrowed his eyes at her, "You mean you actually watch that drivel and then have the cheek to nag me about reading Quidditch books instead of 'Educational Texts', Hermione you hypocritical wee bint!"
Hermione blushed, "Hey, we all deserve a guilty pleasure Harry, and don't call me a bint, unless you want everyone knowing what yours is!"
Harry spluttered, "I don't have a guilty pleasure", he stopped to think for a minute, "No, I don't. Ha! I call your bluff!"
Hermione snorted, "Just because you don't realise what it is doesn't mean you don't have it. I may clue you in some time, for now I think you're meant to be heading backstage." Harry turned to see various professors rounding up students to go backstage, he braced himself and headed in the same direction with Ginny.
"Are you nervous Harry?" she whispered as she clung to his arm.
Harry swallowed hard, "Erm, no, no of course not, it's just a small singing competition right? Nothing to be afraid of." At that moment the one and only Draco Malfoy walked by.
"Aaw, Golden Balls and the little Weaselette are feeling the pressure? What a pity, guess it'll be a win for Slytherin after all." A horrific cackle accompanied his departure, followed by a quiet coughing fit as he rounded a corner. Harry and Ginny merely shrugged and continued on their path.
After informing the stage crew of their song choices they were given numbers and told where to sit until their number was called.
Harry peeked from behind the stage and gulped at the sight of the hall filling up with students, and also various members of the press. Rita Skeeter was sat near the front, eagerness obvious on her face, quill already out and waiting. Harry slipped back quietly, regretting giving in so easily to peer pressure. Kicking the large metal trunk that Ginny was seated upon he cursed as pain shot through his foot.
Ginny smirked, "Idiot, what've I told you about kicking things…and punching things", she added a moment later when he punched the wall beside him in anger and yelped in pain.
Harry turned and glared at her, "Would you rather I kick you instead?" he asked, "Because I bloody will!"
Ginny slowly turned to face him, her face devoid of emotion, "Harry Potter", she said in a low tone, "If you kicked me you'd wish you were never born, living with so many brothers has given me a wealth of spells at my disposable, now stop complaining and have some bloody fun you big tit."
Harry muttered and sat down on the trunk next to her before beaming at her with a huge manic grin.
"Better?" he asked through the gruesome grin.
Ginny laughed, "No, go back to sulking you miserable git."
The lights suddenly dimmed and a lively tune started up. Ginny squealed with excitement, "Ooooh, it's starting Harry!"
They and the rest of the students back stage rushed to the cracks in the back drops and peered through to see who the presenter was and the all important judges. A tall dark gentleman in dress robes with a winning smile spread across his face, the kind you see and have a bad feeling you're about to sell your soul to the devil for a donkey with three wooden legs.
"Ladies and Gentlemen", he grinned, "Welcome to the 1st singing competition of it's kind, THE HEX FACTOOOOOOOR!" The audience cheered and clapped, sounding deafening to Harry who was still regretting his hasty decision. He turned his attention away from his butterfly stomach and back to the presenter who was about to reveal the judges. A spotlight swung onto the backdrop as the man spoke. "And now here they are, your judges for this competition", he said as he motioned to the back of the stage, "The lovely Katy Heedry, manager of the Wizard Wailers and the lovable Hogwarts Professor Remus Lupin", Harry grinned as the shy quiet man walked on stage with a small smile and a glint in his eye that Harry knew meant someone was going to get it in the jugular very soon. The presenter continued, "And also, the singing sensation that is Helena May, and esteemed Hogwarts Professor Severus Snape!"
Harry groaned as his snarky Potions professor literally glided across the stage, his face battling with the sneer that wanted to show itself. He could hear the other students backstage muttering to themselves, and the audience booing quietly, after all they had been told to be on their best behaviour. However they could not quietly accept Snape being a judge on a singing competition, they were just glad Professor Lupin was there to balance things out. Looking around backstage he could see a familiar blonde laughing with his fellow Slytherin hopefuls. As if he could sense Harry's gaze he turned round and stuck his tongue out before giving him the finger. Harry being the mature and dignified student he was merely mouthed the words 'fuck you dick head', along with appropriate actions. Ginny snorted beside him, and put her hand up for a high five which Harry happily returned.
"And now", continued the presenter, "Lets have our first hopeful!"
A/N - Sorry about taking so long to update, my son has been ill and all my spare energy has been devoted to making him better and trying to entertain him. I think I have nearly every nursery rhyme nailed now, complete with actions and/or dance. Anyway, his temp is back down now and he's definitely up to more mischief, hence this update. Sorry it's still short as well, I will be posting longer chapters as soon as I get more time to sit down and write.
Anyway, thanks again to dreamerx for your review, if I only had enough money to bribe my friends I'd have a soundtrack on youtube within a week, lol.
Thanks also to those who have favourited this story or put it on alert, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D
Please review if you can, make sure I'm on the right track. Oh and sorry if I upset any Bieber fans out there...I think... XD