Eighteenth.
I settled into my new comfortable life in Mystic Falls, met some more of the people, learned more about the history of the town. One day when I was supposed to be meeting up with Elena and Bonnie at the Gazebo I was running a few minutes late. I texted Elena as I ran out the door. When I got into town I headed towards the square but stopped short. I looked across and saw Elena and Bonnie waiting, but there was someone else with them. I was disappointed, I looked forward to these no holds barred conversations, but I would have to be more candid if there was someone else listening in. Elena caught site of me and waved me over. I climbed the short steps up and took a seat next to Elena on the bench. Bonnie introduced the blonde haired girl to her right as Caroline, and then quickly lowered her voice to inform me that Caroline was a vampire too.
I smiled and shook her hand, but in my head I knew I didn't really care to know much about Caroline. She started by telling me the story of when she was turned, and that it was Damon's blood in her system but that Katherine had come into her hospital room and suffocated her. I was unimpressed with her story, nothing that Katherine did surprised me anymore. I sat and listened to her describing her life as a vampire, dating a human and then a werewolf turned hybrid. I pretended to listen, but I had never had much patience with 'newborns,' vampires less than one hundred years old. She did, however, peak my attention when she mentioned that her mother was the sheriff.
I felt fire roaring in my head and daggers shooting from my eyes. The same sheriff who helped kill Lexi? I stood trying to decide if I wanted to rip her head off or insert my hand into her chest yanking her heart out as my fangs descended. I felt Elena's hand on my arm coaxing me to sit back down, but the rage took over. I rushed at her with every intent of killing her, but instead of hitting her I slammed into someone else, knocking me back across the gazebo. I looked up and saw Damon standing over me with his foot on my chest holding me down. Bonnie herded Caroline away and Elena stood frozen.
With Caroline a safe distance away my anger turned to despair, tears rolling down my face. Elena knelt down pushing Damon's foot off of me and helping me to sit up. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and motioned to Damon that he could go. We sat there in silence as I calmed down. I was so embarrassed, I had never reacted that way towards anyone. It wasn't Caroline's fault, Damon was the one who framed Lexi and then staked her in the street, but something about Caroline had set me off. I decided it would probably be best for all of us if Caroline and I stayed away from one another.
I didn't know what to say or how to explain my outburst. "It's okay," Elena told me. "Caroline, Bonnie and I all understand what it means to lose someone you love that much, and how desperately you want to find someone to blame."
"I'm so sorry Elena," I finally choked out. "Please tell Bonnie and Caroline that I'm sorry." I stayed in the gazebo long after everyone had left. The light of day began to dull and streetlights came on and still I remained in the same spot. Damon came by and called up to me, but I ignored him and after a few minutes he left. I stayed seated. After last call at The Grille, I heard everyone leaving, the lights clicking off and the door locking.
After another hour or so I heard footsteps on the sidewalk. Stefan appeared in front of me, quietly releasing my hands from their death grip on my knees and sitting down next to me.
I looked over at him and asked, "How do you do it? How are you able to forgive the people that played a part in your best friend's death?"
"I had to," he told me, "as angry as I was at Damon for what he had done, he's still my brother. There's nothing more I can do for Lexi. I can't go back and change what happened no matter how badly I want to. Eventually you just have to accept that it was a great loss, but that she's gone. Then you can start to pick-up the pieces and move on." Stefan's calm demeanor helped me to relax a little and he drove me back to the house.