In Cosmo's Shadow

By Kellie Fay

Disclaimer: Sonic, Shadow, Tails, Cosmo, and the others all belong to SEGA, Team Sonic, 4 Kids and other people not me

*special wave to Kirai-Ninja and Thiniking man's radish for reviewing! *

Chapter 17

Here we go again.

Pie helped him find a computer outside the garden to read the chip. Just as before it made his stomach queasy and his head hurt to think about the things the professor did to him.

One thing he did learn was that Rouge's original data on him was off. He was the original Shadow. The government did find him, but because they needed to put him in suspension they threatened the professor with destroying him if he didn't contain Shadow. Therein lay the professors plan for revenge. Shadow couldn't recall this at all no matter how hard he tried, but the professor managed to coax Shadow into the suspension pod and sealed it. Then he began his plot for revenge. He used a device on the suspension pod that constantly sent the instructions into his sleeping mind. He would deceive the one who chose to release him, he would find the seven Chaos Emeralds, he would get them into the eclipse cannon on the Ark and he would not care if the entire world would be destroyed.

Over and over again for fifty years that machine poured its poison into my mind. It's amazing that Christopher Thorndike was able to abort it so easily.

One part of Shadow could only be impressed with the professor's meticulous attention to detail. He tricked the soldiers into allowing him to monitor the pod for as long as he lived. He also managed to hack their computers so that he falsified the fact that he still existed. Even after his death he had measures put into place so that once he was gone; the memory of the Ultimate Life form would die with those who knew him aboard the ARK. Little did he know one of those aboard the ARK would one day be the commander of GUN.

On the other hand it made Shadow sick to his stomach to think about what his 'father' did to him. He could clearly see the professor's mind deteriorate from week to week. At first the professor still made references to "Shadow my son," but eventually for some reason he became once again "Project Shadow." It was like his sanity slipped from him bit by bit until the professor I knew was gone, and all was left was his desire for revenge. In a sense his mind died before his body, leaving only his intellect and his rage.

He closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands. "It is difficult reading," Pie said, coming close. She began rubbing his shoulders in a way that automatically made him think of Rouge.

Shadow sighed, and turned off the computer. "It is not easy to learn about how the man you considered to be your father basically lost his mind, and chose to take you with him. In the end I only became his tool for destruction."

"But that is not what you are," Pie argued. No one not your soul's father, nor your friends, can tell you who you are. You must decide for yourself who you will be and move forward to make it true.

"Run forward and not back?" He said with a smile. "It's interesting in the dream I had last night about my friends they said something similar. I've been running away from something, and I need to run toward it and challenge it head on. I only wish I knew what the challenge was."

Pie rested her cheek on top of Shadow's a moment in comfort before she said. "Grandmother needs you to come inside before you sleep. She cannot protect you if you are outside of her influence."

Shadow nodded, gently dislodging Pie from his head. "I am just about finished with both the journal and the data chip. I doubt I will learn anything more. He closed his eyes and shivered internally. "I still don't remember much after the professor sealed me in the suspension capsule. I know I was cruel to others. I know I almost destroyed an entire planet full of people, but I close my eyes and I can't see any of it."

"Maybe it is because those actions were based on the programing this human inflicted upon you. It was never truly a part of you, and when you were rescued by the other human your mind cast all that was false within you away."

Shadow looked at Pie surprised that she possessed such an insight, but he realized that her abilities allowed her to understand his mind. "Perhaps," he agreed. "Perhaps that is also why when I did wake I couldn't remember anything about my past until I went back to the world where I was created, and Black Doom awakened my true purpose within me."

Pie nodded and rubbed his shoulders again. "Come, it is high time you rested." She insisted.

Exhausted Shadow followed behind Pie crossing back into the chao garden. Already Shadow knew that his day and his night in the chao garden would not begin until tomorrow. This night would just to make sure he did not go wandering off in his sleep.

He didn't see Cobbler anywhere; he supposed she was in one of the ancient buildings within this pocket of existence. Pie gave him some blankets and pillows, and Shadow decided to sleep out under the stars. Peaches, Pie's little chao, for some reason decided to snuggle with Shadow. Instead of chasing the little creature away, he drew it into his arms, and fell fast asleep.

This night his dreams felt like a huge thunderstorm, turbulent, and violent. He hurt in some indescribable way. He could see himself aboard Space Colony ARK attacking and hurting Christopher Thorndike. He could somehow sense that his attitude at the time was one of destruction. He needed to destroy the planet below him. That was his purpose to destroy everyone and everything.

No that's not who I am. That's not who I want to be. He wanted to erase this horrible person who used to be him. He wanted to destroy him forever.

Suddenly a strong pulling pain shot up his arms and legs driving him to the ground. He felt his arms and legs pulled out of his control like someone had bound him during the night.

Sorry lad, he heard the voice within his mind. I can't have ye doing such things. Wakes up now lad. You'll feel better if ye just wake up.

"Wake up Shadow," A cool calming voice said. He suddenly felt someone shaking his shoulders. He couldn't move his arms or legs, but he managed to open his eyes and realized that Pie was calling to him. She had him in her arms, and she was gently coaxing him to wake.

"P…Pie?" He asked. The young vixen nodded. He tried to sit up, buthe still felt thin tight wires binding his arms and legs. "Why can't I move?"

"Are you awake now Shadow?" Pie asked. Shadow nodded then suddenly felt a loosening of the wires around his arms and legs. They were still there, but the bindings felt like someone just untied him leaving the chords in their places. He shook his head, and took survey of his surroundings. He still sat on the same hill where he fell asleep that night. Trying to get his brain to start working again, he realized that somehow the spell Cobbler cast on him, paralyzed him before he could walk away from them.

"I started to sleep walk didn't I?" He said shivering. A voice behind him made him turn. There Cobbler sat looking sad.

"Aye laddy," she said. "Stopped ye before ye wandered off. Can ye tell us why ye wanted to go wandering?"

Maybe it had to do with the spell laid on him, but the words came out before he even knew what he wanted to say. Shutting his eyes tight he heard his voice say, "I had to destroy it. I had to wipe it out of existence."

He felt a hand under his chin, and pulled his head up. "Look at me lad," Cobbler's voice commanded. Somehow she still had control over some part of him, because he obeyed without question. He looked up for the first time seeing her sightless eyes without the rag covering them. He could tell that she couldn't see him, but the silver white eyes still held power within them. He found he couldn't look away from her. "What did ye want to destroy? Ye needs to understand it."

Shadow couldn't keep the word from coming out of his mouth. "Me," he said. Tears began forming in his eyes, and he couldn't make them stop.

Cobbler drew him into her arms, and rubbed his back while he cried his heart out. "Tis all right lad, tis all right." She crooned. "Don't let grief lead ye on the path to self-destruction. That's what ye tried to do each time someone shows ye kindness. Ye can't destroy the past of what ye was though. All ye can do is make things right now."

Shadow nodded and relaxed into the old kitsune's grip. She might look frail, but her arms were strong, and Shadow allowed his body to relax. He leaned on the strength of this sorcerous, falling back into a deep and mercifully dreamless sleep.

Coming Soon Chapter 18

Preparation:

"Grandmother thinks you did very well today," Pie told him. "When you are ready tomorrow she will send you on your vision quest."

"Is that what you call it?" Shadow asked. "What will happen?"

Pie shook her head and smiled. "I do not know, everyone's quest is different. Grandmother will open doorways for your soul to pass through. Even though your mind does not know what you need, one's soul always knows. You will find that which you seek."