I own nothing but my imagination.
It took me nearly 3 hours to get ready for my performance tonight. I had a hot, older blonde to seduce, my teacher. I knew this was going to be quite the challenge.
For one, she was my teacher. I may not know her that well, but I was positive she had morals, unlike me.
Secondly, her husband died a little over a year ago and she could still be grieving. If there was one thing telling me to give this up it was that, but like I said I was stupid and stubborn.
Lastly, I wasn't even sure if she liked women. Of course, that hasn't stopped me from trying before. Let me tell you my success rate for getting the straight ones was surprisingly high. Surprising for you, not for me. I knew how hot I was. Now I wasn't trying to be cocky, but if a hot "straight" chick was telling you how sexy you are and screaming your name while you are going down on her, you would have a big head too. That had happened on more than one occasion so I have no choice but to believe them.
Anyhow, so I was saying. It took me nearly 3 hours to get ready. I took a shower, put on my face, dried my hair and let the curls hang down. I put on an outfit or 50 before deciding which one would make me look the hottest. I finally chose something simple...but sexy. Like I said, couldn't look too eager. I stepped out of my closet in my tight low rider blue jeans with ripped knees topped off with a black belt. I had a short blank tank on that rode up just passed my belly button and showed off my piercing and my musical note tattoo that started on my right hip went around my back and ended up around the left side of my belly button. I put on some black sandals and a little bit of jewelry. I sprayed on some perfume and checked myself in the mirror for the hundredth and last time. Hmmm, not bad! Would I want me if I were a 24 year old hot, sexy, blonde bombshell who just happened to be my teacher and oh yeah a widow? Uhhhh. Fuck yeah I would. I looked totally delectable and ...fuckable, if might add.
So off I went. I was a little nervous on my way to the club, another first. I was used to singing up on stage. I had been doing it almost every Thursday night and sometimes even Saturday nights for 2 years now. I was never at more peace with myself than when I was on stage. Music was truly my passion and every time I got up there I turned into a different person. I wasn't Ashley Davies Royal Fuck Up, I was Ashley Davies, musician. Ashley Davies, daughter of Raife Davies. Ashley Davies, up and coming multi-platinum selling artist. Yes that was my dream. Someday soon I would get that chance. I had multiple offers for record deals, but sadly turned them down. The one wish my dad has for me was to finish high school and enjoy at least one year of freedom before I signed it away to some record label, hopefully his record label. I wanted nothing more than to make my dad happy since he was really the only family I had. I wanted to make him proud.
I parked my silver, 2010 Chevy Camaro in my reserved parking spot and headed into the club. It was 7:00 and I had to do sound check before the club opened at 7:30. After the sound check I headed over to the bar for some water and to check my messages. Casey was supposed to come tonight. She came every Thursday night to support me. I didn't know if she was going to come considering she was mad at me. I still didn't understand what I did to make her so upset. No message, not really all that shocking. It was ten minutes until 8 and the place was crowded, but not packed. It was only Thursday night, after all. I looked out from the side of the stage and scanned the crowd for Casey and my special guests. I didn't see anyone other than a few familiar faces that were there every Thursday night. I wasn't nervous anymore. I was pumped for the show, but I was a little disappointed. It's not like I hadn't been disappointed before, lied to before, stood up before. I wasn't going to hold my breath.
I took the stage and scanned the crowd one last time. When I didn't see anyone, I sighed and hung my head down. Oh well. At least I had this stage, and my guitar, and my piano, and my band behind me, even if they were just the house band. I stood behind the mic and strummed my guitar briefly.
"Hey guys. For those of you who came to see me, thank you. For those of you who just came to get their drink on and listen to some music, I hope I don't disappoint. I am Ashley Davies. Hope you enjoy the show."
I started off with a few upbeat songs and then slowed it down a bit. It was time for me to sing a song that meant a lot to me, a deeply depressing song, but one that I had a lot of passion for. It always took a few minutes to prepare myself. I walked to the side of the stage and took a few sips of water. Then I walked up to my piano and sat down. I looked down at the keys and I just let go. My fingers danced over the keys and the passion took over. The band sat this one out. It was just me and the piano.
2am, where do I begin
Crying off my face again
The silent sound of loneliness
Wants to follow me to bed
I'm the ghost of a girl
That I want to be most I'm the shell of a girl
That I used to know well
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again
Too afraid, to go inside
For the pain of one more loveless night
For the loneliness will stay with me
And hold me till I fall asleep
I'm the ghost of a girl
That I want to be most
I'm the shell of a girl
That I used to know well
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again
Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
Where there once was love
Now there's only me and the lonely...
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.
I looked straight ahead or down at my fingers stroking the keys the entire song. I didn't like looking at the faces in the crowd while I sang this song. I felt like if I did they would see the sadness in my eyes and I wouldn't be able to hold back the tears that wanted so badly to be shed. The applause was appreciated. My eyes scanned the cheering crowd once again and landed on a booth in the back corner. I smiled as I saw Miranda's face beaming back at me. Spencer was there too, she was talking to the waitress. My heart jumped at the sight of her.
"Well enough of the sad songs. How bout we turn it up a bit. This next one wasn't written by me. It was actually written by one of my ex's, about me." I laughed. "Hope you like it" I giggled and then smiled big and the crowd yelled and whistled. I looked back over to Miranda and she was whistling with her two fingers. Spencer was still talking to the waitress. How long did it take to order a drink?
A little tough love never hurt nobody
Never saw this coming, this side of me
I know where you're goin' with your sugar-laced talkin'
And it wasn't too hard to see
I looked over at Spencer and she was playing with her phone. Great! Here I was trying to impress her and she wasn't even paying attention.
You think you got me right where you want me
You think you got the whole story
I think that a proper fair warning might serve you well
So I'm here to tell you
It's not too late to do yourself a favor
And walk away, though I know that's never been your nature
By the way you've put yourself in danger, cause you're playing with my heart
Playing with my heart, you're playing with my heart
I took a chance and looked over at the booth again. She was looking this time, but had no expression on her face. She looked over and smiled at Miranda who was clapping to the beat.
Every good girl's got a real good reason
To believe in breaking all the rules sometimes
And I'm that girl, baby you're that reason
And your scheming has caused me to cross the line
You lie, but I'm a pretty good liar
You chose a game I can play better
You're bright, oh but baby I'm clever
So you might as well, let me tell you
It's not too late to do yourself a favor
And walk away, though I know that s never been your nature
By the way you've put yourself in danger, cause you're playing with my heart
Playing with my heart, you're playing with my heart
For heaven's sake, what are you thinking baby?
You won't catch what you've been chasing
Trust me when I say I can keep you running
But I'm not coming, oh I won't come around
It's not too late to do yourself a favor
And walk away, though I know that's never been your nature
By the way you've put yourself in danger
Cause you're playing with my heart, playing with my heart, you're playing with my heart
The crowd clapped and yelled and whistled. I heard some vulgar comments. I heard: "I'll let you play with my heart, and anything else you might want to play with". I'm sure that was followed with an eye brow wiggle. I wasn't looking at the crowd. I was pissed. She didn't even acknowledge me. Shit! Maybe she wasn't impressed with the lyrics and the fact that they were written about me, but hey, she already knew who I was. No point in trying to hide it. Shit, shit, shit! I knew this was going to be a challenge. Give up I will not. I had one more song to sing and it had to be a good one.
I started strumming my guitar and the band followed shortly after.
The way you move is like a full on rainstorm
And I'm a house of cards
You're the kind of reckless
That should send me runnin'
But I kinda know that I won't get far
And you stood there in front of me
Just close enough to touch
Close enough to hope you couldn't see
What I was thinking of
Spencer was watching me...finally, her eyes all over me. I smiled into the mic as I belt out the chorus.
Drop everything now
Meet me in the pouring rain
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Take away the pain
'cause I see sparks fly, whenever you smile
Get me with those blue eyes, baby, as the lights go down
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile
My mind forgets to remind me
You're a bad idea
You touch me once and it's really something,
You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be.
I'm on my guard for the rest of the world
But with you I know it's no good
And I could wait patiently but I really wish you would...
Drop everything now
Meet me in the pouring rain
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Take away the pain
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile
Get me with those blue eyes, baby, as the lights go down
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile
I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild.
Just keep on keeping your blue eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right.
Lead me up the staircase
Won't you whisper soft and slow?
The band stopped and it was silent as I sang the next few lines.
I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show.
Drop everything now,
Meet me in the pouring rain,
Kiss me on the sidewalk,
Take away the pain 'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile.
The band started back up as the song came to an end.
Get me with those blue eyes, baby, as the lights go down
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile
The sparks fly...
Oh, baby, smile...
The sparks fly...
The crowd was up on their feet and the applause was overwhelming. I finally got them out of their seats and I got her to smile. Yep. She was on her feet as well. She along with everyone else was giving me a standing ovation. I only saw her though. I was staring at her, and I couldn't stop. She didn't look away. The applause died down and I finally snapped out of my gaze by a hand on my shoulder. It was the drummer, Dave.
"Great job, Hun. I think they enjoyed the show." He patted my shoulder. I just realized I hadn't thanked them. I re-adjusted the mic.
"Thank you, everyone. I hope you enjoyed the show. If you didn't well... sorry. Hope to see you all Saturday night." I nodded at a few people and waved at some others, mostly regulars. I made my way off the stage and to the back room. I spotted the manager Johnny.
"Assssshhhh" He gave me a big smile and put his arms out. Ugh! I hated hugging this guy, he creeped me out. He reminded me of the guy from 'Psycho', but not the newer one with Vince Vaughn. The original version. Yeah…that guy. Creeeepy. I had known Johnny for a little over two years. My dad hired him to run the place, even after I told him that I was pretty sure the guy was a serial killer. My dad laughed it off. He told me he was harmless and that he was the perfect guy for the job. I knew he was right. Johnny was harmless, but every time he smiled at me I saw images of him sitting in a rocking chair in the basement with a dress and a wig on. If you saw him you would say the same thing. Anywho, the guy had been nothing, but caring and supportive of me in those two years and even chased the blood sucking, record label people away when they wouldn't take no for an answer.
I stepped up with hesitance and hugged him.
"You did great out there as always, Ash" He smiled like a proud father.
"Thanks, Johnny. Hey you think you can go out back out there. I think I saw that Ass Chase Reynolds again. This is the third time, fuck the charm. I don't want to sign with his damn label."
"No prob, Ash. I'm on it." He rubbed my arm and then turned to leave.
"Thanks Johnny...For everything." He smiled and walked out the door.
Creepy, but he really was a nice guy.
I got to the dressing room and Mark was there at the door. He was our security. Yeah, we actually do need it. Drunk people + hot ass singers like myself= Mark throwing them into walls. No joke. He meant business. He held his fist out to me and I fist bumped him. He congratulated me on a great show and I thanked him.
"Looking for company tonight?" He asked me. By company he meant, women. Most nights I would get some visitors, sometimes guys, but mostly girls. It was public knowledge that I was a lesbian. Most nights I would happily accept some company, but not tonight.
"Nah, I've got some guests out there waiting for me."
I shot Miranda a quick text to let her know I'd be out as soon as I could.
I quickly took my shower and blow- dried my hair. It was rather unruly so I pulled it up in a ponytail. I changed into something similar to what I was wearing on stage, put some more makeup and perfume on and headed back into the club. I glanced at my phone and saw that it has been well over 40 minutes and also there is a text message from Casey. She would have to wait. I actually didn't want to hear what she had to say at the moment.
They were still sitting in the corner booth, laughing and sipping on their drinks.
"Hey guys. Glad you could make it. Sorry it took me so long to clean up."
Miranda immediately stood up and hugged me. Man this girl liked to hug!
"It's cool, Ash. Wow! You were amazing up there. Totally impressed me."
"Thanks, Miranda. It means a lot." I hugged her this time a little tighter. It really did mean a lot that she came. I turned to look at Spencer. "So what about you, teach? Did I impress you?" I raised my eyebrows in question.
She was looking up at me. Damn her eyes could put you in a trance. She tried to hide her smile behind her glass, but I could see it. She was doing that sexy grin thing again. She set her glass down and finally spoke.
"I was very impressed, Miss Davies." She took another sip of her drink, but never took her eyes off of me.
"Aww come on, Spencer. We're not in school. Pleeeeease don't call me, Miss Davies. Call me Ashley or Ash. I like both." I could think of a few other names she could call me. All very inappropriate, as you could have guessed.
"Okay, Ashley. You were amazing up there. I really enjoyed your music." She said.
"Well that's good to hear. It looked like Miranda was having a blast. You looked kinda bored there for a song or two." I pointed towards her phone. "I'm sure your phone enjoyed your attention though. "I didn't mean for that to sound so bitchy.
"Yeah. Uh, sorry. I had something I had to take care of." She was looking down at her phone. "Really though. I heard everything." She looked up at me when she said that last part. It looked like she was trying to read my mind. I was definitely trying to read hers. Someone cleared their throat. Oh… Miranda. Crap! I wasn't trying to ignore her, but Spencer was so distracting.
I broke the trance and looked over at Miranda who is sucking the last few drops of coke out of her glass with her straw. She looked like she figured me out. Uh oh… I am in trouble.
"So, Miranda, you want to hang out for a bit?" I asked faking excitement. I really did like Miranda, but I wanted to just sit here and stare at Spencer all night. No words are needed.
"Well actually I would love to...but." I sensed that coming. "It's almost 10 and I have to get home. I still have to do homework." She was sorry. So was I. That meant that she was leaving and so was her ride. She was going through her purse and I saw her grab a few bills to lie on the table. "I'm gonna head to the bathroom before we leave. Too many Cokes! Be right back, Spence. See ya, Ash. You were really amazing up there. Can't wait to see you do it again." She kissed my cheek and sped off to the bathroom.
I turned to look at the blonde. She was going through her purse as well. Avoiding me I presume. I sat down across from her. I reached over and placed my hand over hers.
"Your money is no good here."
"Oh, I couldn't possibly…"
"It's on the house, Spencer," I said, interrupting her.
"Ashley…"
"Seriously, don't worry about it. Think of it as a thank you for coming to watch me play."
"Well, thank you. It really was a great show," she said followed by a wide smile. Wow! You really couldn't blame me for staring. She blushed and looked down, stirring her drink.
I grabbed her drink and sipped it.
"Mmmmm. Jack and coke. My fave! We have a lot in common, Spence." She reached over to take the glass back and our fingers lightly brushed one another, she almost dropped the glass.
"You shouldn't be drinking Miss... Ashley. You're underage." She shook her finger at me. God… even that was sexy.
"Sorry. I was thirsty. Ya know… from the singing." I stopped Ruby the waitress and asked for a water. I wasn't sorry. My mouth was on the straw that was previously on Spencer's mouth. Mmmm.
"So what exactly are the things we have in common, Ashley?" Oh goodie. She was going to play along.
I put my finger to my chin like I was thinking. She smiled again. I loved that smile. "Well..." I bit down on my finger innocently. Yeah right. I looked her in the eyes. She was staring right back at me. "Well?" She questioned.
"We both have great taste in clothes." I couldn't see her bottoms, but her top was amazing. She was wearing a black short sleeve blouse with a very low cut. I was enjoying the cleavage. I wasn't too obvious, but I knew she knew what I was thinking in that moment.
"And?" She asked nonchalantly.
"We both enjoy good music." I gave her a cocky smirk.
She giggled. "That we do. Anything else?"
I leaned into the table so I could get closer. She seemed to know that I was about to say something inappropriate. She looked like she was unsure of what to do, but she didn't move.
"We both wish we could read each other's minds," I said calmly. My eyes left hers and dropped down to her lips, then back up to her eyes. I didn't need to be able to read minds to know she just stopped breathing.
She finally tried to saying something. She couldn't speak. She tore her gaze off of me and looked down. "Shit…" she mumbled to herself. I didn't think I was supposed to hear that. I giggled and leaned back in the booth.
She looked up. "Ashley…I"
"I'm ready, Spence. C'mon." Great timing, Miranda! Spencer slowly stood up. She grabbed her purse, threw it around her shoulder and smiled at me.
"Good night, Ashley. See you tomorrow morning. Don't forget you owe me a paper." With that, she turned around and left. Miranda smiled and waved.
Oh I didn't forget about the paper. As soon as I got home I planned on writing it. I watched her walk away so I can guess you know what I was looking at it. All I could say is 'Damn' once again. This woman really was perfect. I would go to sleep with a smile on my face tonight and hopefully dream of her.
I pulled up to the house... or mansion. Call it what you want. Lovely! My mother was home. There went my good mood. As soon as I opened the door I heard her. She was throwing things around in the kitchen again.
"Ashley…is that you?" I ignored her.
"Ashley Marie Davies, where the hell is my good stuff?" Uh…I hid it.
"ASHLEY! GET IN HERE! Where did you hide it you little bitch?" I should've just walked back out the door. So I did. I got in my car and drove and drove. I finally stopped in a parking lot of neighborhood park.
God I hate her. She was looking for her good stuff. Her good stuff ...anything that would get her drunk or high, anything to make her forget about her sorry life, her husband that left her, her daughter the lesbian. Damn right I hid it. Well actually I threw it away, poured it down the drain, and flushed it. I tossed it all. My amazing night turned into the usual, alone and miserable. I cried myself to sleep in my car. Definitely not the way I hoped the night would end.
Songs:
The Lonely- Christina Perri
Playing With My Heart- Kate Voegele
Sparks Fly- Taylor Swift