Chapter Two: In which the Hero is subjected to uncomfortable amounts of male bonding and the Cannibal talks a lot, about everything.

The two made it to Big Town as the sun was setting, and Jayne greeted Dusty at the gate with a smile. After a moment of recognition, the guy smiled back nervously and gave Dian a once-over for any sign of hostility before going back to obsessively scanning the horizon.

As dusk began to settle, Big Town also settled. A few citizens of the ratty little place were still up and about, mostly the night guards coming out to begin their shift, and a few said their hellos to Jayne as he made his way to Red's clinic. Jayne politely greeted each and every one of them, noting with a slight smile how much the small town had flourished in the past few years. The night guard had increased twofold and the town was much more secure in itself. Children now peeked from the windows of tattered buildings, and for the first time in its existence, Big Town felt more like a community than a death sentence. It was definitely a far step above the sorry state the town was in on his initial trip here.

"'Ey, Jayney-boy," Dian nudged his shoulder, looking behind him with a paranoid gleam in his eye. Jayne shrugged him off and growled lowly.

"Don't ever call me that again. What is it?"

"How come all these guys are so nice ta you? Nobody's ever that nice; it ain't natural," He got close to whisper conspiratorially in Jayne's ear.

"I don't know," Jayne responded curtly, taking a long stride to put distance between himself and his insufferable follower. "Folks are just okay to other folks out here, I guess." He shrugged. Dian grunted, obviously not at all pleased with the bland answer, and began looking around again.

"Y'know, I ain't ever been in a proper town before. I mean, I have, but they usually throw me out pretty soon after I get there. 'S the strangest thing."

"I can't imagine why," Jayne deadpanned as he grabbed the door to Red's clinic, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He made his way inside, not bothering to hold the door for his odd acquaintance, and looked around the small building for Red. She was leaned over a patient—Flash, it looked like—stitching up a nasty-looking gash on the short man's arm. Flash looked up and caught his eye, then grinned and waved with his non-injured arm.

"Hey buddy! Long time no see, right?" Red looked up to see who her patient was addressing, and her face broke into a smile at the sight of him.

"That's right, long time no see, Hot Shot. Where've you been hiding all this time?" She smiled sweetly at him, then clipped the last of the stitching thread and wiped her hands on the front of her jumpsuit. Flash thanked her and trotted out of the building, saying something about having a cool new scar to show to Bittercup. Red finished cleaning her hands with a rag and turned to her newest guest, "Not getting into too much trouble, I hope?"

"Trouble? Me? Oh, perish the thought!" Jayne gave the lady doctor a charming smile, before letting her wrap her arms around his neck in a warm, friendly hug. He returned the hug with gusto, missing the comforting feel of her motherly aura. Red was one of his favorite people in the wasteland, truth be told. She was strong, brave, fair, smart—exactly the type of person he liked being around. She pulled away and studied him for a moment, then prodded a sensitive area on his torso. "Ow! Jeez, Red!" He flinched away from the pain and gasped.

"'Jeez' nothing, mister, you look worse than a Ghoul with a sunburn," She gave him a disapproving look and shook her head. "Been out making friends with Deathclaws again, I suppose?"

"Ha, that's closer to the truth than you might think." Jayne laughed wearily and lowered himself into a chair as his head swam. "Think you might be able to patch me up?" Red chuckled and got out her medical kit, then took a small syringe from the box and tapped it to test the flow.

"For you, kid, anything. You know that." Careful not to cause him any further pain, she rubbed an area on his arm with a small cloth before injecting the fluid swiftly and efficiently. Jayne bit his lip. The prick of pain was quickly followed by a rush of healing coolness that spread throughout his body, calming nerve endings and dulling the pain. Broken bits mended silently, and in a few seconds Jayne felt back on top of his game again. Red smiled warmly as she watched his expression relax. "And as usual, free of charge for the returning hero," She winked and nudged him playfully.

"Hero?" Dian, who'd been silently observing the interaction and picking at his fingernails, piped up suddenly from behind them. Red whirled and took a step back, startled at the sudden appearance of the man, and tripped rather ungracefully into Jayne. Jayne caught the woman easily and helped right her again.

"Sorry Red, should have mentioned I brought baggage," He thrust a thumb in Dian's direction. The man in question grinned and waved.

"No, no, that's alright. Just didn't see him come in," Red laughed nervously and eyed the slight man, her minor doctoral training kicking in at the very sight of him. Scrawny, jumpy, wild-eyed, flaky… he was obviously on something. And something good, by the looks of it.

"Yeah yeah, I'm a super ninja," Dian waved a hand dismissively," now what were you saying about Janey here being a hero?" He leaned close to the woman, eyes shining like a kid ready for story time. Red gave a hesitant look at her old friend and noted the scowl on his face, then turned back to smile at his curious new follower.

"Oh, yes. Jayne here is the reason I'm here talking to you right now. In fact, without him we would probably all be long dead, and Big Town would be just another burnt out ghost town," She smiled fondly at the red-head, who averted his eyes and flushed a little. "Of course," She continued, facing Dian again, "He'd never tell anyone who didn't already know. The man's as modest as a maiden and blushes just as easy." The good doctor laughed heartily and patted her friend on the back, then proceeded to relay the story of how Jayne saved her and Big Town from the Super Mutants so many years ago, with a bit of poetic flourish. Dian listened in awe to the tale, holding his breath as Red paused dramatically at intense parts of the story. When she'd finished the short narrative, Dian had big, fat bullfrog tears gathering in his eyes.

"Oh man, that's just beautiful. I never knew you were such…a good…person," He paused between silent sobs and threw his arms around the other man's neck.

"Wha- hey! Get the fuck off me!" Jayne growled and shoved him roughly away, his feathers having obviously been ruffled by the unapproved close contact. "Besides, anybody with a conscience would have done it. I was just the first guy to come along," He muttered, averting his eyes.

"Ha! If anyone else had come along first, they'd have cleaned us out and you know it." Red punched him playfully in the arm, then straightened her jumpsuit and looked around the small 'office'. "Well then, I have work to do. You guys are welcome to stay the night if you can find two open cots. Bittercup insists that since she had her baby she needs at least three cots for her and the little tyke, but you might be able to charm one out of her if you're nice enough. Whatever you do, make sure you come see me again before you head off, alright?" She pulled Jayne into another strong hug, then shooed him out the door, Dian trailing happily behind.

"Oh man, I like her," Dian said once the door had been shut behind them. "Think she'd taste good?"

Jayne leveled a stare at him, considering.

"…I really hope you're not that stupid. Because if you are, I might just have to kill you right here and now." His expression never changed, but the threat was real enough. Dian held up his hands in a surrender-pose, grinning.

"Hey man, just kidding! Didn't mean anything by it," Dian grinned nervously, not at all enjoying the hostile glint in the other man's green eyes. "So uh, we gonna hang here tonight?" The hasty change of subject was not lost on Jayne, but he let it slide. As long as Dian kept his hands to himself and his mouth in check, things ought to be alright for them here.

"Yeah. I'll go get us some cots and drag them out to the fire. You just…" He paused, looking Dian over with a scowl. "You just go sit down somewhere. Don't touch anything, don't talk to anyone, don't mess up, got it?"

"Sure thing boss," Dian chimed happily. "I'll just go chill by the fire then, don't be too long gone." He waved and moved energetically over to the nearest small fire in town, settled down, and sat smiling at nothing in particular.

Jayne returned soon after with two small, dirty mattresses in tow, and threw them to the ground beside the fire. He huffed and wiped at the sweat rolling down his face before plopping down on one of them.

"So..." Dian began casually, "Where are you from?"

Jayne considered responding in his usual, sarcastically uncaring tone, but decided instead to humor the man. What could it hurt, really? If all went according to plan he'd be at least ten miles out of town before the scrawny nuisance ever even woke up.

"I'm from a vault, actually. Vault 101. I was one of the first to leave, before the vault opened back up for trade and whatnot." He poked at the fire a bit, memories of his youth flashing just behind his eyes. "Me and my Pop caused a bit of commotion on the way out, haha." He glanced over at his companion, whose eyes seemed to gleam in childlike glee at his revelation. It was all at once unsettling and…kind of cute.

"You're really from one of those big fancy vaults? How cool! I heard those was real nice and cozy." He smiled and crossed his hands across his folded knees. "I'm from a tribe outta the Capitol myself. They burned somethin in my back and filed my teeth all sharp and threw me out for being a Wendigo, but I know they love me. Real deep down." Jayne, having no real response to that particular statement, let the conversation die. Of course Dian could not let that happen, though. Heaven forbid there be a moment of peace with that guy.

"So you mentioned your dad; where's he these days?" It was an innocent enough question, but Jayne wasn't in a particular mood to talk about his father with the strange man. He fluffed up the mattress a bit and rolled himself onto it, his back facing Dian (probably against his better judgment).

"Goodnight, Dian."

"Oh, jeez well fine. Note to self: don't mention the dad." Dian huffed and prodded the fire with a stick for a while before finally growing bored and laying out on his mattress.

"Hey Jayne?"

"What?"

"This mattress is lumpy."

"Get over it, I know you've slept on worse. Now go to sleep."

Jayne heard a muffled shuffling sound, then a low, crunching noise. He dismissed it quickly and tried to get comfortable.

"Hey Jayne?"

"What?"

"You want a finger?"

"No! Now go. To. Sleep." He heard the other man huff again, and some more muffled shuffling before silence.

"Hey Jaaayne?"

"For fuck's sake, what?"

"I'm sure glad I met you." You could practically hear the smile in the other man's voice.

"Yeah…good to know. Now please, get some sleep? We'll talk in the morning."

"Yeah okay. G'night."

Jayne waited, listening, until finally the breathing across the fire evened out, became a soft snore. Good, he thought, I'll sleep for a few hours and leave before he's conscious. It was a good, solid plan. Nothing better than a good, solid plan. And with said plan in mind, the not-so-lone wanderer drifted into an even sleep.