Thanks for the reviews guys. So exciting to hear what you have to say.
Like I said I own nothing but my imagination. Yadayadayada.
My mom was out by the pool talking to someone on her phone. I hoped it wasn't the school calling. She was screaming at someone. I felt sorry for them. I made my way up to my room and flopped down on my bed. I was exhausted. I closed my eyes, ready to take a nap when my phone beeped.
Text message: Madi- U broke Carmen's nose? LOL. I'm so proud of u girl.
Ten minutes later, another text message. Casey- We r so celebrating 2 nite. Bitch got what was coming 2 her. Luv ya.
I laughed out loud and threw my phone on the bed. Seriously, I needed a nap. I guess it wasn't going to happen though. I heard my mother making her way up the stairs. She burst in my room without knocking. And she said I have no manners.
"Really, Ashley. You skip school enough as it is, and now you go and get yourself suspended. What is wrong with you? Are you trying to get some attention from your father? When are you going to get it through your little brain that he doesn't want you? He doesn't care Ashley. Now I have to go to your school tomorrow and meet with your principle. I was planning on getting my nails and hair done, but now I have to go up there and try to explain to them why my daughter is such a nuisance. Are you even listening to me?"
She took her shoe off and threw it at me. WTF? I glared at her.
"I heard every word you said, Mother! But I just don't think any of the bullshit you just spat out is deserving of a response."
"Watch it you insolent little brat. Not only can I get into your bank account and leave you penniless, I can put you on the street too. So keep it up. Temp me, Ashley. I won't hesitate for second."
I believed her. She's wanted to sell this house for years and move to Waikiki. She even took surf lessons, but after only an hour she slept with the instructor, so there went that idea. The only thing keeping her here was that she would have to find a new hairdresser. No joke. She actually told me that. I have such a loving mother.
"Why do I even bother? You're just like your father." She finally got the hint and left.
"Thanks for the compliment, Christine!" I yelled and threw her shoe towards the door way.
Sometimes I wondered what I did in a past life to deserve a mother like that. It's not just her that I wondered about. I knew my dad loved me, but I was not naïve enough to believe that he loved me more than himself. He knew how my mother was. He knows she is the Wicked Bitch of the West. He knows how she treats me like I am disgrace to humanity. Yet he leaves me here with her. He leaves me here to fend myself off from the Beast. He knows how screwed up I am. I put all of this aside when he calls. I bury it deep, because I convinced myself that the love he gives me is better than no love at all. I'll take what I can get.
Casey and I went out to dinner. She took me to Nobu in West Hollywood for Sushi. She even paid. I should break Carmen's nose more often. We even toasted to Carmen's broken nose. "May it heal crookedly."
It was Tuesday morning and my mother and I were waiting outside Mr. Goodman's office. He was five minutes late and Christine was fuming inside. She hadn't spoken to me since she pounded on my door at 5:30 am and told me to "Get the fuck up". What a pleasant way to wake up.
Finally Mr. Goodman arrived. He invited us into his office and pulled out a chair for my mom. How chivalrous of him. Gag! He went on and on about my attendance or lack thereof.
"Now with all due respect, Mrs. Davies. Ashley here should have been expelled by now." Tell someone who cares.
"Well, than why haven't you expelled her?" See what I mean.
"As much as I hate to admit this. Your husband's contributions to this school have been greatly appreciated and depended on."
"So he is paying you to not expel Ashley?" Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!
"I wouldn't put it that way. We could have easily given up on Ashley and expelled her, but we have chosen to give her another chance. Does that have anything to do with the money? Yes, but it isn't the only reason." Bullshit!
There was a knock on the door.
"Come on in," Mr. Goodman said.
What is she doing here? Oh no. She can't meet my mother. This isn't good. I was gonna throw up.
"Hello, Ms. Davies. I'm Mrs. Dennison. I am Ashley's Literature teacher." Spencer reached out her hand, but my bitch of a mother didn't shake it.
"And why are you here?" And she says I am disrespectful.
I shrunk back in my chair. Spencer looked shocked at my mother's words.
"Mrs. Dennison here has come up with a better form of punishment for Ashley."
"I wouldn't call it punishment, Mr. Goodman," Spencer said.
"Well, we figured since Ashley doesn't like to come to school it wouldn't make sense to suspend her. So she is going to join our schools student volunteer program."
"Do I have a say in any of this?" I finally butted in.
"If you don't want to become a volunteer you can always stay after school every day and help clean the dishes and trays in the cafeteria. I am sure the janitors could use some help with the toilets too."
Okay Spencer you got me.
"Fine. I'll join your group," I said with faked excitement. Woohoo! Yippee! Hooray! Rah!
"Good. Great. I'm going to go now. I have an important appointment to get to." Yeah, getting your hair and nails did is so high-priority. And who sees their hairdresser at this time of day anyway. She must be sleeping with him/her.
"Thank you for coming in, Mrs. Davies." Even Mr. Goodman seemed shocked at my mother's apathetic behavior. No shocker here.
"You're free to go, Ashley." He nodded towards the door.
"Thank you for not suspending me." Yeah I said that. There's that shocked look again.
"You're welcome, but you should be thanking Mrs. Dennison. It was her idea after all."
I looked over at Spencer. She was leaning against the bookcase. In my head I was imagining pushing her up against it and… oh sorry.
"Thank you, Mrs. Dennison," I said sweetly.
She nodded and smiled. "You're welcome. Don't make me regret it."
"I won't. I promise. See you in class." I opened the door and left.
We read more of The Raven today and I even volunteered to read out loud. I knew it would make Spencer happy. She was the kind of teacher who expected class participation. During our discussion, which mainly involved her raving about Poe's use of words and the meaning of them, I caught her eyes on me several times. I know for a fact she blushed one of the times that I caught her. Oh yeah. She wanted me. Sorry… New Ashley was even cockier then Old Ashley.
She made me wait after class again, this time to give me some information about the volunteer program.
"So what exactly am I volunteering for?"
"Well, lots of things. We go to hospitals, nursing homes, homeless shelters, churches and volunteer our services for whatever they need. We sometimes clean up parks and help out Habitat for Humanity as well."
Well the last part sounded cool but…wait, did she say "we" as in us… and her?"
"So, this is your program then?"
"Yes it is. And I am very proud of what we do."
"Mr. Goodman said this was your idea."
"Yes. It was. It's a lot of hard work, Ashley, but I know you can handle it."
"So you wanted me in this program. So you could spend more time with me?" I wiggled my eye brows.
"Ashley!" She sighed. "You know it's amazing you can even get your big head through the door."
"What? I'm just saying. This would be a great chance for you to get to spend time with me and not have to worry your pretty little head over it being 'inappropriate'."
"Ashley, everything you say and do is inappropriate. Yet, here I am still talking to you."
"And what is that supposed to mean exactly?"
"I am not concerned about your inappropriate behavior because it doesn't mean anything. This illusion that you have about us is never going to happen." She folded her arms across her chest and gave me a confident smile.
"So you're saying that I don't have a chance?" I asked with a sad, but not serious pout.
She laughed and shook her head. "Yes, Ashley. That is what I am saying and I do believe I have said it before."
"Okay."
"Okay? That's it? So you are going to finally give up?"
"For now." I smiled and then headed towards the door as the bell rang. Oops! I guess I was going to be late for second period again.
Spencer walked over and hands me a late slip again to give to Mrs. Thompson.
I grabbed it and held onto her hand.
"You know if you keep holding me up like this I'm going to have no other choice then to assume that you have a hard time letting me go."
She tilted her head to the side and leaned in towards me.
"Goodbye, Ashley." She pulled her hand away, walked into her classroom and shut the door. Might as well have shut it in my face. Damn!
Can you feel the love?
The rest of the week went by fast. Miranda had become part of our clique. She had taken a liking to Chelsea and vice versa. They shared an interest in Art. Everyone seems to like her. We have all kind of taken her under our wing. She's like the little sister. Carmen hasn't bothered her, at all, and she had avoided me. Well except for when she shoulder checked me on Thursday. I wanted to go after her, but Miranda held me back. Casey had finally told me that her and Melinda or Michelle, whatever her name was, had broken up. Darn.
Thursday night sucked. There was a fire in the electrical room at the club so it was closed indefinitely. I really needed to get up there on stage. I was so depressed. My mother had finally disappeared. She didn't even tell me this time where she was going. I think she finally got the hint that I don't care as long as she wasn't home. We got into another argument right before she left. She told me she wished I was never born. She wanted to have an abortion, but my dad wouldn't let her. Well that sure explained a lot. She didn't want me at all. Chelsea and Miranda decided to take me out to cheer me up. We went to dinner and then to an art exhibit that featured one of Chelsea's paintings. Thank God for good friends or who knows how much more screwed up I would be.
Friday came and went. It was time to P-A-R-T…Y? Because we gotta! There was a party at this guy Tim's house. Tim was Madi's on and off boyfriend. Most of the time ON…if you know what I mean. Wink wink. So we were dressed to kill and headed to the party. Casey, Chelsea, Me and Miranda, of course. She was really nervous. I was surprised she has any nails left. We got out of the car and headed in. I pulled Miranda back.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Just a little nervous. It's my first party. Do I look okay?" She was so cute… in a little sister way, of course.
"Yes. For the tenth time tonight. You look gorgeous. Really. Don't worry so much. You don't have to do anything you don't want to and if anyone messes with you just let me know." I pounded my fist into my hand.
"I have a wicked right hook." I smiled and she laughed.
"So I've heard…and seen with my own eyes."
"Let's do this." I grabbed her hand and we went inside.
It was the normal high school party, kids dancing and making out everywhere, a keg in the kitchen, drunken girls kissing and guys egging them on. Pigs! Outside some kids were smoking weed. I opened the fridge and grabbed a beer for me and Miranda. Not a fan of keg beer. I explained the rules of high school parties to Miranda.
Rule #1- Do NOT, under any circumstances, set your drink down.
Rule #2- Do NOT, under any circumstances, take a drink from anyone other than a close friend.
Rule #3- Do NOT, under any circumstances, go up to a room with a guy before talking to your friends.
Rule #4- Keep in mind that if you do anything stupid it will be posted on the internet, so DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID.
Rule #5- Always look out for your friends. Okay that's mostly my rule considering I was always the most sober of the bunch. What? You're surprised? You shouldn't be. I see what drugs and alcohol do to my mother. That's the last thing I want.
We were all hanging out in the kitchen talking about Carmen. I was sitting up on the counter. Casey was in front of me and I was playing with her hair. That was normal behavior for us. The conversation changed suddenly.
"So how's it going with your crush, Ashley?" Madi asked out of nowhere.
Miranda and Chelsea looked curious. Madi was smirking. And Casey was pissed. She moved away from me and took a sip of her drink. What was with her?
"It's not going. You were right. She's out of my league. I gave up. Happy?" Then I gave her the "shut the fuck up" look.
"Awe you have a crush, Ash? Who is it?" Chelsea asked.
"Yeah...is it anyone we know?" That was Miranda.
"NO. Uh no. It's nobody you guys know. Just somebody I met at the club. It doesn't matter." I tried to make myself sound indifferent.
Madi must have got the hint.
"So you got your eye on anyone else? I saw that hot chick from King outside, the one that tried to get in your pants in the bathroom at Pure."
"You'd have to be more specific, Mads!" Spat Casey.
"Fuck you, Casey. What is with you lately? You're constantly on my fucking case. And as I recall…YOU tried and DID get into my pants in the bathroom at Pure." Take that!
"Yeah. Well, it wasn't hard." She took another sip of her drink.
I was about to say something clever back when Miranda interrupted.
"Wait. You guys are gay?" We all looked at her. She was trying not to smile and was holding in a laugh.
We all busted out laughing. Man I loved this girl.
We finally made it into the front room where everyone was dancing. I sat down on the steps with my drink. They all started dancing. After about 10 minutes I needed to pee. I shouted to Chelsea to look out for Miranda and went to the bathroom. I had to wait about 5 more minutes to actually get in there. Geez. I did my business, washed my hands and opened the door. Someone pushed it open from the other side and threw me up against it. The girl from King who tried to get in my pants in the bathroom at Pure. I really needed to get her name.
"Hi, Ashley." Apparently she knew my name.
"Uh, Hi! Um…Amber?" The look on her face told me I was wrong.
"Close, but no. It's Jessica." Uh I only had one drink right? Those two names weren't even remotely close…right?
"Hi, Jessica." She had me pinned against the door with her knee between my thighs. This wasn't good. She started kissing my neck and before I knew it her mouth was on mine. She was a really good kisser, but Spencer's face kept popping up in my head, her lips, and her smile.
I pushed her off of me and her back hit the sink. I wiped my mouth.
"So you like it rough, huh?" She propped herself up on the sink and the way she was sitting, her skirt inched up and I could clearly see she wasn't wearing any underwear. Holy shit! Now normally I would be all over her. I wouldn't have even hesitated. But I couldn't get Spencer out of my head. And the little action I just got from Jessica made me feel guilty. Like I had cheated.
"Sorry, Jessica. I'm not really available." She looked embarrassed, but not enough to walk away. She hopped off of the sink and walked over to me. She trailed her finger from my lips down between my breasts and finally stopped at my stomach.
"You sure you're not available. I would make it worth your while," she whispered in my ear. Her hand started trailing lower.
I grabbed her hand and yanked it off of me. Then pushed her away…again. I needed her to get the hint.
"I said I'm not available. Back off."
I turned around, opened the door and walked out, right into Casey. She looked at me and then at Jessica stumbling out of the bathroom behind me. She shook her head at me, anger all over her face.
"Are you kidding me, Ashley? That girl is wasted. You'll never fucking change." She stormed off.
I yanked her arm back before she could get too far.
"Nothing happened with her, Casey. And why do I feel the need to keep defending myself to you? You're my best friend." My voice cracked.
"You're right, Ashley. I am your best friend. Which is why I have no problem calling you out."
"Nothing happened with her, Case. I pushed her away. You don't have to worry about your slutty best friend." I let go of her. I was so hurt by her assumptions. Old Ashley would have had sex with that girl right there on the sink, without even thinking twice. But I had changed. In a matter of a week I had transformed myself into a one woman, woman. In the past I would have deserved what Casey had said. I wouldn't have been bothered by it. She would have been right. I walked outside and sat down on the steps. I couldn't stop the tears. Was I really that horrible person that my mother had always said I was? I sat with my head in my hands and sobbed. I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I looked up I saw Miranda.
"Do I need to return the favor and break someone's nose?" She smiled, a hint of concern in her eyes.
I laughed and wiped my eyes.
"No. Well not unless you'd be willing to hit me." She looked confused.
"Huh?"
Yep.
"I. I'm just starting to regret a lot of the things I have done in the past. I've done some really screwed up shit, used a lot of people. I'm not very proud of myself at the moment."
I looked up at her hoping I wouldn't see disgust. I was sure she heard the rumors.
"Ashley, do you know what I see when I look at you?"
"One hot fucking chick?" She laughed I just shrugged my shoulders.
"Besides that, you big goob." She slapped my arm playfully.
"Did you just call me a… goob?"
"I did. Anyway, I see a beautiful, caring, strong, brave, amazingly talented and surprisingly smart, girl. Someone who I know I can count on. Someone I trust. Someone who would have my back no matter what. Someone who would break someone's nose to defend me. You have been a great friend, Ashley. If it wasn't for you I would probably be at home right now being a hermit in my room."
"Thanks, Miranda. It means a lot that you think all of that of me. It really does." I hugged her. Yes, I initiated the hug for once.
"So about that hermit thing. Spencer said you've been through a lot. That's why you're quiet and keep to yourself. Does that have something to do with losing your brother?" I hoped I didn't cross the line. She looked unsure, like she was debating telling me or not.
"It's okay. You don't have to talk about it."
"No. It's okay. It's just hard to talk about. Especially here." She looked behind us to the open door. The party was still going strong.
"Well, how about we get out of here. Go get some ice cream. Spill our guts."
"Sounds good. Uh, can we go to your house though?"
"Sure. Let me just go let everyone know. I need to see if they can get other rides."
"Okay. Why don't you go get the car?" I hand her the keys. She looked like I just gave her my car.
"Really? You'd let me drive it?" If it was my Camaro, hell no I wouldn't. We drove here in my Lexus RX.
"Sure. You do have your license, right?"
"Yeah. Uh. Are you sure?"
"Yes. Now go before I change my mind."
I found Madi and Chelsea. Tim was gonna give them a ride home. Now I just had to find Casey. I looked all over the house for her. Twice. I finally find her in the upstairs bathroom making out with some chick I had never seen, some chick that looked like she was too old to be in high school. I cleared my throat and their heads whipped towards me.
"I'm leaving. Tim is going to drive you home. If you don't already have a ride that is." Then I left. I didn't have to say anything about how angry and hurt I was. I didn't have to say anything about how she was basically doing the very thing she accused me of doing. She knew. She could hear it in my voice and see it in my eyes. Casey and I were growing apart for some reason, just as Miranda and I were getting close. That had me wondering if this was all connected somehow.
Miranda was hanging out of the driveway waiting for me. She had this big goofy smile on her face. I got in the passenger side and we were off.
"So how about we just make this a sleep over since it's so late?" She suggested.
"That sounds good to me, as long as you don't snore."
"Nope. But I grind my teeth."
"Ouch. Well you can sleep in one of the guest rooms then."
"One of the guest rooms? How many is there exactly?"
"Don't know. Two or three. Anyway, you can pick."
"Do you mind if we stop at my house so I can get some clothes? I'll be fast."
"No problem. You're driving."
We pulled up to her house. It was kind of small. A cute little bungalow with sage colored siding and white shutters. Very homey. There was a black Range Rover in the driveway and I wondered if it belonged to Spencer. What would she be doing at Miranda's house at this time of night?
"Um. Is that Spencer's car?" I asked as she put the car in park.
"Uh. Yeah." She said like it wasn't a big deal. "Nice, isn't it?"
"Totally. So is she usually at your house so late at night?" She looked at me strangely.
"Well, considering she lives here I would have to say yes." Huh? What?
"You didn't know that I live with Spencer?" Come again?
"No, I didn't. How would I? And why? Why do you live with Spencer?"
I think I asked too much at once.
"We'll talk about that later when we're 'spilling our guts'. Okay?"
"Yeah. Okay."
"I'll be right back." She hopped out of the car and jogged to the door.
Miranda lived with Spencer. WTF? I never would have guessed that.
Five minutes later she came back out, but she was not alone. O. M. G!
Spencer was right behind her. She was barefoot and wearing cute pink pajama bottoms with white stripes and a white tank top. Her hair was up in a bun with a pencil stuck threw it and she had on her black framed glasses again. I was trying to shut my mouth, but I couldn't move. I could catch some flies right now. She saw me and laughed. Her laugh snapped me out of it. She was leaning on my open window.
"Hello, Ashley." Her voice was so fucking sexy.
"Hey, Teach," I said after I finally managed to compose myself.
"So how was the party?" She looked at the both of us.
"Boring, as in dull and tiresome."
She laughed at me.
"Thank you, Ashley. I do know what boring means."
"So what are you guys up to now?"
"Headed to my house. We're gonna have a sleep over. Wanna join us?" The eye brows were doing the wiggle again.
Miranda slapped my arm and Spencer looked at me disapprovingly.
"You guys have fun. Don't stay up too late. We've got to be at the hospital by Noon." She patted my arm and then said goodnight.
Oh right. My Saturday's have now become volunteer day. More like volun-told. At least, I'd get to spend more time with Spencer.
We headed to my house and I couldn't help but feel that tonight was going to be very emotional. Miranda was a mystery to me, but I can't help but feel that we may have a lot of the same issues. What was she hiding? Why does she keep to herself? Why does she live with Spencer? All of these questions were going to be answered tonight. That kind of scared me. There was one thing I was certain of, Miranda needed a friend, someone she could talk to, and someone she could relate to. I would be that friend. I would be that someone. Spencer was the reason I started talking to Miranda. It must have been fate. Maybe fate had something in the works for Spencer and me. I just had to be patient.