11.
~ The nurse wanted to call someone for Ariadne.
"Is there no one we can call, Dear?" She asked as she gently helped Ariadne dress.
The Architect felt sore and worn out. She wasn't sure if it was the crying, the drugs to calm her or the procedure that had worn her out.
"No." She said numbly. "No, my... the baby's father... he's in Berlin until Sunday." She said at last.
"We can call you a cab then." The nurse said helping Ariadne smooth out her hair. The loving touch of a mother.
"It will be alright. You can have more children." She said soothingly.
Ariadne found herself shaking her head.
"Sure you can." The nurse said. "Lots of women have miscarriages. This baby just wasn't meant to be. You can have a healthy baby. In a few months-"
"No." Ariadne said sharply.
~ The Architect wanted to wait outside for her cab. Her legs felt weak but she remained standing. She liked the bitter cold of the approaching fall. Liked the way it hurt. Like that it was punishing her body for not taking care of her little girl.
A yellow cab pulled slowly up to the curb. An older black gentleman with a well groomed white beard peered out the passenger widow.
"Are you Andrea?" He asked politely.
"Ariadne." She said nodding her head. People always thought her name was too unusual.
"Oh, sorry about that." He said as she opened the back door.
"It's alright." She said as she climbed slowly inside.
"You look awfully pale." He commented. "Here." He said as he handed her a small box of orange juice.
"Thank you." She said in surprise.
"Yeah, I'm a diabetic. Got to have these in my cab. Keeps me for getting dizzy." He said as they pulled out into traffic. He drove steadily and safely through the hectic traffic.
'Arthur would like him.' Ariadne thought.
"So where are we going?" He asked.
"Home." She said sipping her juice and giving him the address. The rush of sugar hitting her and making her head stop hurting. Made her feel a little better.
"Oh, it's a nice day out. I thought for sure you would want to go shopping or to a show or something." The gentleman said peeping worriedly at her from his rear view mirror.
Ariadne had to force herself to smile. Force herself to be normal.
"No. Just going home." She said. Her face falling again as she stared at the box of orange juice he gave her.
"Are you alright, Miss? You coming out of that medical center." He asked. His voice was sincere and kind. Like he wanted to know and wanted to help.
"I had a miscarriage." She said. The words coming out of her mouth. Suddenly making it real. She felt her vision blur from tears as she tried to hide them behind her eyes. They feel away despite her attempts to keep them at bay. She didn't cry exactly, but fat tears dropped from her eyes as if they had a mind of their own.
"I'm sorry." He said gently. She realized he had slowed the cab down and handed her a box of tissues.
She took them gratefully and dabbed at her eyes.
The gentlemanly cab driver didn't say anything for a long time as Ariadne composed herself. The ride home, a long one because of traffic.
"My wife and I... we've been married 40 years now. We lost a baby the first year we were married." He offed. "She nearly lost her mind. Nothing I could do for her. Almost ended us."
Ariadne looked up at him.
The Gentleman shrugged.
"But, time helps. Eventually, we got pregnant again. We had a healthy little boy. Then five more." He said with a smile. The cab driver shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head as if he still wasn't sure how all those children had come about.
Ariadne couldn't help but smile back.
"Can I offer you some advice? If it's not too forward?" He asked kindly. His voice soothing and comforting. His manner like Cobb's.
Ariadne nodded and finished her juice.
"It's okay to grieve. You grieve for you baby as long as you need to. But you don't keep all that with you." He said. His voice wise and genuine. "It's okay to grieve, and it's okay to move on. Bad things happen to all of us. We can't let them keep us down forever."
Ariadne didn't say anything as the Gentleman drove her home. Finally telling him which building was hers.
"Thank you for the juice." She said paying him.
"Sure thing. Now, you take care for yourself." He said looking at her from his seat as she walked to her door.
She nodded and thanked him again.
She unlocked her door to her building and waved back at the Gentleman. The driver waved back after seeing she could get inside safely and drove slowly away.
~ She bled for a few days and stopped like Doctor Cook said she would. Her body felt numb and worthless. She took the anti anxiety pills the Doctor had given her and slept. Not wanting to face the waking world.
She was sure Arthur was trying to reach her, but had turned off her phone. She slept in her bed. Her shades drawn and her room in total darkness.
She only woke up on Saturday at around midnight to shower. Her body feeling dirty and ugly. She barely had the heart to change her bedding. Tired of the way they smelled of sweat, failure and sleeping too much.
The work of light cleaning had exhausted her. She didn't want to eat and only drank more orange juice. The memory of the kind driver comforting her.
She went back t sleep and woke when she heard Arthur's keys in the door. His voice calling to her.
'Must be Sunday.' She thought as she curled into a tighter ball and shut her eyes.
"Ariadne?" He came into her bedroom. The Point Man turned on her bedside lamp and shrugged off his coat.
She didn't answer.
"You kept your phone off. Do you have any idea how worried I've been?" He said angrily.
She didn't answer.
She felt the bed creek as Arthur curled his long body around her. Spooning her. Kissing her hair and neck.
She didn't answer and flinched away from his touch.
"Are you alright?" He whispered. His voice calmer now.
She didn't answer.
"How are my beautiful girls?" He asked was a little smile. His hand wandering over to her belly.
She moved his hands away from her. She didn't want him touching her.
"I had I miscarriage." She said. Her voice sounding strange after so long of not using it. "I lost the baby." She added when he didn't say anything.