Thanks again for the reviews guys. Reviews = Smiles and quicker updates.
Purpleniya- You're right. Ashley needs a break. A happy spell is coming.
Momo0424- Yeah Miranda should become a therapist.
CoolGay- Welcome to Batista :)
noodles307- Lol. Sorry. I knew some people would change their minds about all know why she acted that way now. Glad you are happy with the pace. I know some aren't. I do know the drill :) Here is the next chapter.
Dakadakara- Thanks. And I changed the rating :)
naranga87- Since you were so patient and understanding...here ya go :)
I own nothing but my imagination.
"Miranda, what are you doing here?" I was thankful she was here. She pushed through me into the house.
"I knew you would forget Ash. It's Saturday. Volun-told day. Remember?"
"Oh right. I completely forgot." Shit!
"Well go get dressed. You can't wear that. We're working outside today. Helping build a house. Yay!" She clapped her hands excitingly.
"Would you like to come pick out my clothes so that I know what is appropriate and what is not?" I joked.
"I trust your judgement. Now get." She pushed me towards the steps.
I was halfway up the stairs.
"You okay Ash?" She asks. "You look kind of pale."
"Uh. Yeah. Fine. I'm fine." I ran up the stairs hoping she wouldn't push it further.
I put on a pair of jeans. Yes, holey ones. I don't think I own a pair without holes. And a green tank top and some brown boots. I put my hair up and put on a little makeup. I headed back downstairs and couldn't find Miranda. I look everywhere and then I hear her talking to Spike in the kitchen. I walk in and freeze. She is holding the empty bottle of vodka. Shit!
"Is this yours Ash?"
"Uh. Um." I sigh. "Yes". I can't lie. I am the only one home.
"Ashley, you don't drink. Why now? Did you drink all of this?" She worried now.
"Can we talk about this later? We have to go." I do not want to talk about this right now.
"NO. We are going to talk about this now. I will call Spencer and tell her we are going to be a little late." She pulls out her phone and starts dialing.
I look down at Spike munching on his food. She must have fed him because I forgot. I am a shitty mommy too.
She told Spencer that we are going to be late because she woke up late. She covered for me. She's too good to me. She put her phone away and walked over to me. She grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the table and sat me down. Then pulled up a chair for her right in front of me.
"What happened?"
"A lot."
"What happened Ashley?" She raised her voice.
I put my head down.
"Ashley, you can trust me. Please talk to me. I am here for you….. Let me in." She pulls my hands into hers.
I know I can trust her. I need to talk to her. I don't want to be like my mother.
"Casey was here last night. I told her I forgave her and we were just hanging out like old times." I paused and she just waited.
"She told me she was in love with me. I told her I didn't feel the same. She was hurt. She left." I didn't want to get into detail. It hurt enough just saying it.
"Wow. So she is in love with you. Didn't see that at all. You had no clue?"
"I had a feeling that she still wanted to be with me. You know…sexually. I had an idea that she had feelings for me. I didn't know they were that deep." Images of Casey crying last night kept popping in my head. They hurt more than my headache.
"So she was really hurt by you not feeling the same way. What about you?"
"I think you know the answer to that question." I look over at the bottle and she followed my eyes.
"Is that the first time you've done something like that?" I felt like I was at my shrink's office. But I knew that Miranda was asking because she cared not because she was getting paid.
"Yes. I told you I don't usually get drunk. Last night I was way passed being drunk. I couldn't feel anything. And I liked that feeling." A tear dropped from my eye onto my hand. I wiped my eyes quickly then continued.
"Lately I feel lost. I feel alone. I feel like I am suffocating. I haven't heard from my dad in months. I am worried about him. My mother is getting worse. She slapped me and she even threw her shoe at me." I laughed but it wasn't funny. Miranda looked angry.
"Spending time with Alyssa gave me hope. I may not have parents that care about me but I have great friends. I have my music. I have…. a future." The tears have started again. I am shaking. Miranda sits next to me and pulls me into her.
"What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy? I am trying my best to turn my life around. To be someone that my friends can depend on, be proud of, look up to. I am trying so damn hard but I take a step forward and get thrown two steps back." I lean my head on her shoulder.
"You don't have to go through this alone Ashley. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. When you start feeling like this you need to call me. Ashley, you're my best friend. I need you. If it wasn't for you I would still be hiding in my room wondering instead of doing. And you are that person to me. I know I can depend on you and I am proud of you. And I would look up to you but you're kinda short." She laughed. "I need you like you need me. But I can't be the friend you need if you don't let me in. All the way in…not just a few steps. Okay."
"Okay." I say. My voice was quiet and hoarse.
"No more vodka. K?" She rubs my arm.
"Yeah. No more vodka." I groan.
"Thanks Doc."
"Doc?"
"Yeah. Doc. You always make me feel better and you're kind of like a shrink. But you are so much better at helping me out then they ever were."
"That's because I actually care about you." She smiled sadly. "You didn't even need those shrinks Ash. You just needed someone you could talk to. Like a friend. You got one. And I am not going anywhere. You're stuck with me." She spits her tongue out.
"Well. You're one person I don't mind being stuck with…Doc." I spit my tongue out at her.
"C'mon. Let's go have some fun." She stands up and pulls me to my feet then starts to walk out of the kitchen. I grab her hand and pull her back to me. I hug her. I hug her with everything I have. She saved me today. I realized that as long as I had Miranda in my life I would be okay.
When we get to the construction site I notice two things. There are a lot of people here and ….Spencer. She sure stands out in a crowd. Today she is wearing jeans again. Have I mentioned how good she looks in jeans? She's also wearing a tight white t-shirt with the sleeves rolled a bit. It has big blue letters that read Habitat for Humanity. She was wearing aviator sunglasses much like my own. Standing next to her and a little too close for my liking is some slutty red head. She has her hand on Spencer's upper arm as they both laugh.
Miranda started walking towards her. I didn't. I wanted to talk to her but I didn't know what to say or how to act. This was obviously all very new to me. Well except the part where I wanted to punch the red head straight in her freckled face. That feeling wasn't new at all. Miranda looked back and shook her head at me.
"C'mon Ash. We're already late. Stop being a Goob." UGH! What the fuck is a Goob anyway?
"I'm coming. Chill." If I could just figure out how to move my legs. One step, two steps, three steps. There ya go. Slutty Red Head is leaving. Smart girl.
"Hey Spence. Sorry we're late." Miranda says as Spencer turns to look at us. She is putting on a cute little work apron. She looks so sexy in it. Sorry I'll shut up now.
"Hey Miranda" she says while trying to tie her apron. Miranda steps behind her and ties it for her. Spencer is looking at me. She looks uneasy.
"Hi Ashley". Hello heartbreaker.
"Hey Spencer". I give her a small smile and look away. Those damn eyes.
"So what do they need us to do Spencer?" Miranda says by my side again.
She looks towards the house. From the looks of it, it is nearly done. "They need someone in there to paint." I know Miranda loves to paint so I'll let her do that.
"And they're starting the garage so they will probably need some help putting up the frames and walls."
"I know how much you love to paint Miranda. Go ahead. I'll go put up some walls." I am an expert at that.
"Okay. See ya a lunch ya Goob." Ugh. She walked towards the house.
"Well I guess it's just me and you...ya Goob." Spencer says and then snickers.
"Not you too." Actually she could call me anything she wanted. I was just happy to hear her voice.
"Sorry. It's just funny that she calls you that." She says and we start to walk towards the garage.
"And why is that so funny?" I ask. I wish I knew what it meant. I feel like an idiot.
"Well you know. I wouldn't exactly consider you a nerd Ashley. Miranda's just silly like that." A NERD? That is what that stupid word means.
"Yeah..Silly." I am going to kill Miranda.
"Hey Spencer I thought you got lost." Says Greg, the tool who is in our volunteer group. He goes to UCLA and thinks he is God's gift to women. Please, I have probably had way more women than him. I have probably had more straight women then him. But seriously, it is so obvious that he has a crush on Spencer. I really can't blame the guy.
"Sorry Greg. I found another helper." She points at me and he looks over and gives me a wink. Eww. As if. Not even if I were straight Dude. I give him my disgusted look and I hear Spencer giggle. It does feel good to hear her talk and laugh. I thought it would hurt to be this close to her but it didn't. It felt great. It felt right. I could do this.
"So where do ya want me teach?" For once there is no double meaning behind my question.
Greg and this guy Rick had already put up the frames. Then they put up the walls. We just had to attach the walls to the frames. They had already attached the top of the wall to the frame we just had to do the bottom and the front. They gave Spencer, me and these two other chicks some hammers and nails. They took one side we took another. The four of us got to work. She started on one end of the wall and I started on the other. I already had 3 nails in and was a quarter of the way up the wall. I look over at Spencer after what I am sure was a mumbled "Fuck". She has her hammer spun around so she can yank the bent nail out of the wall. Poor Spence. I notice she hasn't put one nail in the wall yet and next to her on the ground is a small pile of bent nails.
I walk the short distance over to her and laugh. She looks up at me.
"Is there some trick to this?" She says embarrassed.
I laugh. "Not really. You just have to concentrate and have good aim."
"Well I must have horrible aim then. If I concentrate any harder I may put a hole through the wall." She giggles again. So cute.
"Here I'll show you." I take her hammer and a nail. I press the nail into the wood. Then aim the hammer. Four whacks of the hammer and the nail is in.
"Wow. Impressive." She says surprised.
"Helped my dad build a tree house when I was 8." I said proudly.
"Try again." I hand her back her hammer.
She presses the nail into the wood. Then takes aim. The hammer swings forward and….
"Ahhhh shit. Shit, shit, shit." That was Spencer. Let's just say the hammer didn't hit the nail.
"It's bleeding. Let me see." I feel bad.
"No. It's fine. Wow. I'm such a klutz."
Slutty Red Head girl runs over with a first aid kit. Her name is Sarah. At least that's what the sticker on her shirt says. I like my name better. She looks like she is going to try and tend to Spencer's hand. I don't think so Sar-ah.
I grab the first aid kit from her hands.
"Thanks. I got this." I give her my intimidating glare.
"Oo-kay. You okay Spence?" Don't fucking call her Spence.
"Yes. I am fine. Thanks Sarah."
Slutty Red Head Sarah finally gets the hint and leaves.
"Let me see." I reach for her hand.
"Ashley it's fine. Really."
"Just let me see your hand ya big baby." I reach for it again.
She is looking right into my eyes. I am looking back. Damn those eyes. I can't look away. But once I feel her warm hand slide into mine the trance is broken. I look down at her hand. The nail must have come out of the wall a bit when she hit it with the hammer. She had a gash on her left index finger.
"Does it hurt?" I ask her looking back into those beautiful blue eyes.
"A little. It kind of stings." Her blue eyes never left me. I could even feel her staring at me while I was looking at her hand.
"We should clean and disinfect it first. Then put some butterfly stitches on it. It should be fine."
"Okay." She finally drops her eyes from mine. Her hand that was in mine is now resting in my lap. I get the supplies ready.
"Okay." I clean the blood off of her finger with an alcohol cleansing pad and then I squeeze some antibiotic cream onto the cut. Cleaned off it doesn't look as bad. She hands me the butterfly stitches and I put 2 of them on her finger. I then wrap her finger with a thin piece of gauze and a piece of tape. I finish it off by putting a finger cot over it. Have you ever seen one of those things? They seriously look like a ..Okay let's not get into that.
"All better" I almost kissed it but didn't want to ruin the moment we were sooo having.
"Thank you." She smiled and I smile back holding her stare.
"You're welcome." You'd think we were having a staring contest.
Spencer lost. She looked away and cleared her throat.
"We should probably get back to work." She said.
"Yeah. Um, are you sure you want to do that." I said as she grabbed another nail out of the box.
"Of course. Just because I smashed my finger doesn't mean I'm just going to give up." She set the nail between her teeth and wiggles her fingers. "I do have 9 more."
I laughed. "Yeah..But we only have 1 first aid kit." I tilt my head to the side and put my hands together like I am praying. "So please be careful."
She chuckled. "Okay mom." Uh..No. Now if she wants to call me Baby I am completely fine with that.
She picks up her hammer and presses the nail into the wood. She's concentrating hard on her aim. I can only smile at the fact that she makes concentrating HOT.
She pulls the hammer back slightly and I wince.
She did it.
"I did it." She jumps up and down and claps her hands.
"You did it." I laugh. She reminded me of a kid learning how to tie his shoes or ride a bike for the first time.
I think she finally got the hang of it. After the third straight time she didn't smash a finger I finally relaxed. Although the thought of holding her hand again almost made me wish she would have. Hey..I said almost.
We almost had our side of the garage done. It was getting close to lunch. We had worked our way towards each other and were now side by side. It wasn't hot today, only about 72. But Spencer was sweating. She kept wiping her brow. I don't think she does manual labor much. I wasn't sweating at all. Then again I don't sweat a lot no matter what I do. Well except for indoor exercises if you know what I am talking about. Anyhow Spencer sweating is sexy as hell. Don't know why but it is. Then again I am sure you can guess by now that everything she does is sexy to me.
Spencer interrupts my pointless thoughts.
"So, how is life as a Rock stars daughter?"
"It sucks." Pretty much sums it up.
"Oh" She expected a different answer I'm sure.
"He's never home and he never answers his phone."
"When's the last time you talked to him?"
"Over a month ago."
"Oh." She said again.
We were finally finished. We walked over to the cooler and grabbed some waters. After finding a tree to sit under she spoke again.
"So your dad is never home and your mom is…"
"A bitch?" I cut her off.
She laughs. "I wasn't going to say that."
"It's okay if you were. She is." And a few other names I could think of.
"Is she always like that?" She says and then takes a sip of her water.
"So loving you mean? Yeah Mother of the Year." I say sarcastically of course.
Spencer is looking at me like she is still waiting for an answer. Guess she didn't like that one.
"She doesn't get me. She doesn't agree with my choices. She wishes she never had me. She hates me. The feelings mutual." I didn't mean to say all of that but Spencer makes me feel like I could tell her anything. Sort of like with Miranda. Geez, wonder what their dinner conversations are like.
"I'm sorry Ashley. I didn't know it was that bad." How could she?
"Don't be sorry. You are not to blame for her lack of a heart." I take a sip of my water and look away.
She puts her hand on my arm.
"I know. But I am still sorry."
"Like I said. Don't be. I am used to it. Besides she's barely home." I look down at her hand.
She moves it. The look on her face says she didn't even realize she put it there.
"She's always been this way. I've learned to live with it. It's okay though. I will be away from her soon enough." I said quietly. I am not sure she caught all of it but it was mostly for myself anyway.
She looked at me sadly. I didn't want that. I didn't want pity.
"You know what is amazing Ashley?" She says looking right into my eyes.
"Me?" I bat my eyelashes.
"Yes. You." Huh?
I know I am awesome but I was just kidding.
"You grew up with a part time father and without your mother's love yet you have no problem giving love. You have such a big heart. You're so good with people, when you want to be of course." She smiles. "You have this way of making people feel special, beautiful and loved. I saw you with Alyssa and Miranda thinks the world of you. You have really helped her out. Made her feel part of something again. Made her feel special. I hope that one day you will find someone that will do that for you."
"I have... Miranda. She is special and beautiful in every sense of the word. She makes me laugh. She listens and isn't quick to judge. She is so smart and always knows the right thing to say and do to make me feel better. She's by far the best friend that I have."
Speak of the devil.
"Hey guys."
Miranda is here and she is not alone. With her is a tall, hot blonde. And when I say hot blonde, trust me she doesn't compare to the one sitting next to me. But she does kind of resemble the one from the club that one time. You know that one time that I stupidly cheated on Casey. Yeah that one. She resembles her because she is her. And she definitely recognizes me judging by the look on her face. She still wants me. She wants to finish what we started in that club. In that booth. Uh oh.
"Hi Ashley." She says in her sexy voice. Spencer looks at the girl strangely.
"Uh Hi." I don't remember her name. I don't think I ever knew it to begin with. I get up and walk over towards them.
"Hi, I'm Spencer." Spencer is suddenly in front of me shaking her hand. She is standing directly in front of me. It's almost like she is blocking me from touching the blonde. Hmmmm.
The moment has turned awkward. We are all standing there saying nothing.
"So why don't we all go get some sandwiches? I'm starved." Thank you Miranda. Always saving the day.
We all sat at a makeshift picnic table. I sat next to Spencer on one side and Miranda on the other side with Blondie. Miranda talked the entire time. Something about the sun and the ozone and global warming. I didn't really hear much. Why you ask? I was too busy feeling uncomfortable with Blondie eye fucking me and licking her lips. Oh and I can't forget to mention a little amused and excited by the sight of Spencer …glaring at her.
Sorry it's not very long. Hope you enjoyed.