Thanks for the reviews everyone. They are always welcome. Good or bad. I want to know what you think. Your opinion does matter.
Lesbefriends- Thanks. And there will defintely be at least one more ALL SPASHLEY chapter before this story ends ;)
momo0424- Lol. glad you like the jelly scene and the chair scene. I think I actually laughed when I wrote it.
invisiblinc- Hope you like Spencer's reaction. :)
Freindlygirl333- Lol. Glad you approved :)
hollymarie4- Lol. Yeah I know it has been 28 chapters. But as I said in the beginning I wanted to do this right. So we have to wait ;) I am glad that you are still reading :) :) Most mind blowing sex? No pressure or anything. lol. I am glad you enjoyed the chapter. I sure enjoyed writing it ;) Miranda's exaggeration is just Miranda being silly Miranda. Spencer I would consider to be more of a older sister than an aunt though. Thanx for the review. Once again you made me laugh :)
lisarichie- I hope you enjoyed your cold shower ;)
naranga87- Boom-a-licious ! ;)
xam452- Thanx
A/N: So I know a few of you have mentioned the 'no spashley sex' yet. I am soooo sorry to keep you waiting but it is for the good of the story. And the story is what matters the most. So of course I have given you a few teasers hoping to tie you over. There will be 'spashley sex' . No doubt about that. But it will be when the story calls for it. As you know they both want to wait until Ashley is no longer Spencer's student. So pleeeeease be patient and please keep reading. I appreciate your reviews and always consider your thoughts and feelings. Keep em coming and I will defintley keep the chapters coming :)
I own nothing but my imagination. Oh and Miranda, Casey and Alyssa are mine :)
"What happened with Carmen? Did you guys get into another fight?" She asked worriedly.
"Not exactly. She uh. She kissed me."
"WHAT?" I knew that would be her reaction.
"Ok so I found her in the bathroom crying. For some odd reason that is beyond me I asked her what was up. She wasn't being a bitch like usual. She started asking me questions like how do I deal with people being mean to me because of who I am. I asked her why she cared and she kissed me. Then she told me she was gay and that she acted like she hated me because she didn't want people to know."
"So she kissed you?"
"That's all you got out of all of that huh?" I laughed.
"I can't believe that little wench kissed you." She said quietly almost like she was talking to herself.
"Spence did you hear anything I just said? Carmen is gay!"
"What did you do when she kissed you?" She had no reason to be jealous. Carmen is so…. Eww.
"I told her to never touch me again."
She smiled. "Now I have another reason to want the snot kicked out of that bitch." I laughed.
Spencer jealous is hot. Spencer swearing is even hotter.
"She tried to apologize too. I told her the way she treated Miranda was uncalled for and inexcusable." I paused and took a sip of my coke.
"I told her she needed to prove she wasn't just a big bully who picked on people. And that she needed to stop hiding because nobody liked the fake her anyway."
She chuckled. "Do you think she is going to listen?"
"I don't know Spence and I really don't care. Hiding or not she had no right to act the way she has for the past two years."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier Spence. I promised her I wouldn't say anything to anyone but you are my girlfriend and she means nothing to me."
"I'm glad you told me Ash."
She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me into her. Our noses touched and then finally our lips.
"My lips." She said possessively before pulling the bottom one into her mouth.
"If she kisses you again I might quite possibly beat her down myself."
I shook my head. "Now that is something I would pay to see."
"I really don't want to go home tonight but I probably should." I didn't want to sleep in a bed without Spencer ever again.
"You should go. You do kind of smell." She smiled and I slapped her arm.
"I don't really smell bad do I?" I pouted.
"No, not at all." She leaned in a kissed my neck and then my ear. "You smell amazing."
Then her lips were on mine. Hard and hungry and then soft and sweet. Her hands left my waist and moved slowly up my arms and then cradled my face. She leaned her head on my forehead.
"I love you so much Ash."
I couldn't help but smile but at the same time cry. A tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek. She kissed it away.
"Don't cry. You'll make me cry and then we'll both look like a bunch of blubbering fools."
I laughed. "I'm sorry Spence. It's just that I never thought I would ever feel this strongly for someone or that someone could feel this way for me. It's all still a little overwhelming." I rested my forehead back on hers. "I don't think I could live without you."
She held my face in her hands again and hunched down to look up at me.
"You won't ever have to." She pulled me into her arms and held me.
"I'm not going anywhere Ash. I'm right here with you. Always."
Those words should have been comforting but they weren't. They just scared me. I don't know why, they just did. She held me for a few minutes and then pulled back.
"You should go before I am not able to let you."
"I can stay if you want me to Spence."
"I want you to but you need to go. I'll see you in the morning okay?"
One last kiss and I walked out the door.
"See you in the morning."
I walked into my big, empty and dark house. It was quiet except for the pitter patter of little paws running my way. Poor Spike. He deserved better.
I scooped him up and he instantly licked my face. "I'm sorry Spikey. I promise I am going to be a better mommy."
I ran upstairs to my room and laid him down on my bed. He walked around in a circle until he finally found a spot.
I stripped down and headed to the bathroom when my phone went off. Probably Spence. She missed me already.
Nope. It was Casey.
Hey Ash, are you home? I need to talk to you. –Case
I quickly texted her back. I was naked and freezing.
Yeah, I'm home. –Ash
I took the phone into the bathroom and turned the water on.
Can I come over? – Case
I sighed. Should I let her come over? She was my best friend for most of my life. I couldn't say no.
Yeah, just give me 30. Jumping in the shower.- Ash
K, See you soon.- Case
I got out of the shower and dried off. With the towel around my head I walked into my room.
Shit!
"Case I said give me 30. It's been like 10." She didn't say anything she just stared at me from her spot on my bed. She had seen me naked many times before but it was different now.
"Case?"
"Sorry Ash. I was on my way when I called. I was hoping you would be home and let me come over." She turned her head and started petting Spike.
"Chill. It's not like I haven't seen you naked before." She rolled her eyes.
"It's different now." I said as I slid on some boxers.
"Why because I'm in love with you? I was in love with you back then."
No it's different because I have a girlfriend and she already wants to beat Carmen down. Don't worry, I didn't really say that.
"No. It's different because we're not sleeping together anymore."
I threw on a shirt and went back into the bathroom. I dried and brushed my hair and then brushed my teeth.
When I came back into the bedroom Casey was standing by my book shelf holding a picture. "I miss you Ash. I am so lost without you." She started crying and on instinct I pulled her into me and held her.
"I'm here Case. Maybe not like you want me to be but I'm still here."
"I know. I'm sorry." I walked us over to the bed and sat us down.
"Can I stay here tonight?"
Once again I couldn't say no.
"Sure. I'll get you some pajamas."
We said goodnight and slid into bed. Yes she stayed in my bed with me. We had done this a million times before as friends and this time would be no different.
The alarm went off and I awoke with an arm on my stomach and a head rested on my chest. I wished it was Spencer but it was not. It was Casey of course. I leaned over to turn off the alarm and she stirred.
"Sorry Ash. Habit I guess." She said as she sat up.
"It's okay." I rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom.
We got ready and ate some cereal for breakfast. Then I kissed Spike goodbye and we left for school.
"Could I get a ride with you Ash?"
"I have to go to the hospital after school to visit Alyssa." I looked over at her and she looked disappointed.
"I have to come home first though so I guess I could drop you off."
This girl still had a hold on me. She knew me and she knew how to get what she wanted.
"You sure?" She knew I was.
"Yeah. Let's go."
We hopped into the Camaro and headed off. I stopped at Tim Horton's again for my cappuccino and I got a coffee for Spence. Which I told Casey was for Madi. She got a coffee as well.
When we pulled into the parking lot Spencer had just pulled up as well.
"Why are we here so early again?" Casey asked.
"I like getting a close spot. You know how lazy I can be."
"Okay. Whatever you say." She laughed. She knew it was more than that but didn't press.
We got out of the car and Spencer spotted us. She smiled at me but then she saw Casey and the smile disappeared. Great. She's mad.
We finally parted ways when we stepped in the doors. I headed to my locker and took some books out to put in my bag. Then I quickly walked to class. I had to explain Casey to Spencer.
She was writing on the chalk board when I walked in.
"Shut the door." She said without looking away from the board.
I shut the door.
"Have a seat."
I set the coffee down on her desk and took my seat. My seat at the front. Haha Cassandra Wheatley.
She turned around and immediately saw the coffee. She looked up with a question in her eyes.
"Ya know, since I stole yours the other morning."
She smiled and took a sip.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Look Spence nothing happened with Casey. She stayed over last night but it was nothing but innocent. I promise."
She laughed. I didn't know if I should be scared or relieved.
"I know Ash. I trust you." She said looking down at whatever she was writing on.
"You looked mad out in the parking lot and pissed a few minutes ago."
"I was jealous in the parking lot." She finally looked up at me.
"I figured she stayed the night and I was jealous because I missed you so much last night. I almost drove over to your house."
"Really?"
"Yes really. I missed your cute snoring." She grinned.
"Ugh. I do not snore. And nothing about me is cute."
She laughed again.
"So what was that when I first came in? I thought I was in deep shit."
"I was just messing with you Ash." She took another sip of her coffee and smirked at me behind the cup.
"That was not nice."
"Neither was the jelly or the chair incident." She had to bring those up. How was I supposed to focus on school now?
"So we're even then?" I asked.
She walked over to the door.
"Not even close." She said as she opened it.
The bell rang and kids started filing in.
Cassandra Wheatley was once again not happy. I just smilid and used my thumb to direct her to her seat. She scowled at me.
Madi came in late and shook her head at me. I just shrugged.
Spencer started class and we all turned in our picks for the two stories and two poems. My story was not picked but that was okay with me. Some of the more popular short stories were picked. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving and of course The Tell Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe. Not even funny. I did not want to read that again and I sure as hell didn't want to discuss it for a week. For poems the class chose popular poems as well. The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost and Song of Myself from the Leaves of Grass poetry collection from Walt Whitman. I had actually chose Song of Myself so I was happy with that.
I opened my book to look for The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, the first story we were discussing. There was a page marked that I didn't remember marking. I opened the page and smiled. It was Somewhere I Have Never Travelled, Gladly Beyond by E. E. Cummings. The same poem that I had quoted in the note that she caught Madi and I passing to each other over a month ago. There was a little post-it note that had marked the page. It had something written on the back of it.
What you mean to me…Stanza 5
It was in Spencer's handwriting. I look down at the poem.
I don't know what it is about you that closes and opens, only something in me understands; the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses
I couldn't breathe. My eyes started to water. It was hard to swallow.
This poem was always special to me. And when I thought of Spencer I always thought of this poem.
What E.E. Cummings was saying here was that he couldn't explain his feelings for his love. It was something he couldn't put into words. Because there weren't any. When he looked into his lover's eyes he could just feel how real and deep the love was. I guess that is the way that Spencer felt.
I looked up at Spencer who was suddenly right beside my desk. She was handing out papers. She smiled at me but her eyes were telling me so much more. I smiled back and my eyes told her the same thing. "I love you."
Class ended and I gave Spencer a smile before I walked out. She smiled back and then started talking to another student. When I got outside of the classroom Madi was waiting for me.
"What's going on?" She asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not stupid Ash." Okaaay.
"I didn't say you were." I started walking whether she was ready or not.
She grabbed my arm to stop me.
"Is something going on with you and Mrs. Dennison?" Oh boy. Not good.
"Are you crazy? And keep your voice down."
"Like I said Ash, I'm not stupid. Something is going on." She's not going to drop this is she?
"Can we not talk about this right now? I need to get to class and you're annoying me."
"Fine. But we are going to talk about this later." She let go of my arm.
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
This isn't the first time Madi has brought this up. She noticed something at my birthday party too. What was I going to tell her? I couldn't tell her the truth. I trusted Madi but this was just too risky. I had to lie. Somehow I had to make her believe nothing was going on. Somehow.
The next couple hours went by sloooooowly. I made it to lunch and Madi pulled me aside.
"Come on. We are going out to lunch. My treat." She said as she pulled me out to her car.
It was a quiet ride to Subway mostly because I was trying to figure out how to get out of this. She was busy on the phone with her on again and off again boyfriend. We ordered our food and sat on the grass behind her car in the parking lot.
"So, you going to tell me what's going on with you and Mrs. D?" She asked and then took a bite from her sub.
"I already told you. Nothing." I took a sip of my drink.
"I know you already told me…nothing. I want to know..something. So spill."
"What makes you think there is…something?"
"I have eyes. And there was definitely something in her eyes the night of your party. Not to mention the subtle glances in class. And oh yeah, you sitting in the front row. The Ashley Davies I know would never seat in the front row of any class no matter how hot the teacher was."
I sighed and shook my head.
"Look we both know I have a crush on her. She knows that too." I had to give her something. But what and how much?
"It's more than that and we both know it." Ugh Madi you're so annoying. And sooo right.
"I told her okay. I told her that I had a crush on her and that I wanted her. She turned me down okay?" I was desperate for her to believe me.
"What did she say?"
"She said I was too young and her student and a girl." It wasn't a lie. That is what she initially said.
"I believe the too young and her student part but I don't think she cares that you're a girl Ash. In fact I think she kind of has a crush on you too."
"What makes you think that?"
"I told you. Her eyes. The way they were looking at you when you were up on that stage. The way they are always on you in class. Especially when you aren't looking." She smiled at me.
"Since when are you so observant? And why are you always watching her? Kind of creepy Mads. Unless you have a crush on her too."
"Please girl. I admit she is hot but not my type. You know I love the .." I covered her mouth so she couldn't finish. How I hated hearing that word in any form.
"So again I ask, why are you always watching her?"
"When you were singing I saw you look up towards your dad. At least I thought you were looking at him. I saw Spencer smile at you and you returned it. But it wasn't the smile. It was the eyes. There was something in your eyes that I had never seen before. And then she looked back at you with the same intensity. In class you guys try so hard to not show it but I see it. Ash I know this isn't just some crush. I've noticed the way you have changed. You haven't been with a girl in over a month. You haven't even looked at another girl. And you're like Miss Honor Roll now. You're early to class and go to all of your other classes. You're doing all of this volunteer stuff now. The way you are with Miranda. You've changed or at least started being the real you."
She put her hand over mine and squeezed it.
"I will accept you telling me that there is nothing going on with you and our teacher if that is what you want. But just know that if there was I wouldn't judge. I loved the old Ashley just as much as I do this one. But I am more proud of this one. I don't know if this new you has anything to do with a certain blonde but I do know that this new you is in love. I know it's not just a crush. You don't change your life for a crush. Especially if they don't or don't want to love you back. I understand why you can't tell me Ash and I am fine with that. Just promise me I can help plan the wedding." She smiles big and I can't help but smile back.
"You're crazy. But like I have said a million times, there is nothing going on between us. Okay?" She shook her head still smiling.
"Okay. Whatever you say."
"Good. Can I eat my sub now?"
We headed back to school and of course we saw Spencer as she was leaving.
"Goodbye Mrs. Dennison. Hope you have a wonderful day." Madi said. I could have smacked her.
"Goodbye Madison. Hope you have a wonderful day as well. Goodbye Ashley." She gave a small wave as she opened her car door.
"See ya Teach." I said nonchalantly and kept walking. I didn't even look at her when I said it. I hope she wasn't mad. Madi just laughed at me. Bitch.
The next few hours flew by thankfully. Casey and I went to the locker room after gym and grabbed our things. After stopping by our lockers we headed to my car. As soon as I sat down my phone rang.
"Ashley?"
"Yes it is. Ms. Cooper?"
"Yes dear it's me." She sounded upset.
"Is everything alright?" Please say yes.
"Yes everything is okay it's just that Alyssa is having a bad day."
"Oh. Do you not think I should come by then?"
"No,no. I was hoping you were. It's just what she needs today. Are you going to be by soon?"
"Yeah. I was just on my way."
"Okay good because she is real tired and I don't know how long she will be awake."
"I'll be there in 20 minutes or less depending on the traffic."
"Sounds good. See you soon."
"Okay bye."
I looked over at Casey.
"Hope you didn't have any plans tonight."
"Nope. It's fine. I wanted to meet Alyssa anyway. If that's okay with you."
"It's fine with me. I'll have to ask Alyssa though."
"Of course."
We got to the hospital in 14 minutes. Hey, I've got a Camaro and I know how to use it.
When we got to her room Ms. Cooper was sitting outside of it. The nurse was helping Alyssa get dressed after a shower. Ms. Cooper looked upset. Something was going on.
"They're moving her." Is all she said.
"Moving her where?"
"Down the hall. It's a smaller room and the window is facing the parking lot. She is so upset Ashley. I couldn't calm her down. I don't know what to do." She started crying and I reached for her. She instantly latched on. She sobbed into my shoulder. I knew it was the right time. It was time to tell her what I had done.
"Everything is going to be okay Ms. Cooper. Alyssa doesn't have to move down the hall. I've made arrangements."
With that she looked up at me. Her eyes red and puffy and questioning.
"What do you mean? Arrangements?"
"I've talked with the hospital, my lawyers and my father. If everything is okay with you I would like to take her out of this hospital. She would still get the care she needed but she would be more comfortable. You both would."
"Ashley , thank you. But we don't have a home anymore. I had to let it go. I couldn't make the payments. This is our home." Her voice cracked.
"I know all about the house. Alyssa told me everything. She also said that she dreamed of living off the ocean. She wanted to sleep with the ocean breeze blowing through her windows. I can give her that. If there is one thing I can do, I can do that for her. This doesn't have to be your home."
"How? Why?" Is all she said.
"My family owns a beach house in Malibu. It's huge and it's right off the ocean. I have made arrangements for Alyssa to be transferred there. Along with a 24 hour nurse and 2 doctors on call. I have a room set up for her on the lower floor with big windows and a door to the patio. She doesn't have to stay here. Give me the word and we can leave as soon as they give the okay."
She didn't say anything for what seemed like minutes. She just stared at me with her tired, teary eyes. Then all of the sudden she grabbed me and held me tight as she cried into my chest. Of course this brought on my tears and I held her back just as tight.
"Everything is going to be okay Ms. Cooper."
After we told Alyssa the news she practically attacked me too. She was happy to meet Casey whom I had told her a lot about in the past. They got along pretty well. They probably had more in common than even Miranda and I had with her. I spoke with the doctors and they made the arrangements for her to leave in the morning. I left the hospital feeling so relieved and so happy.
I let Casey drive the Camaro to my house. I know, I can't believe it either. But I had to make so important texts and they couldn't wait. I opened my phone to text Spencer and there was two waiting for me.
I miss you. –S
I smiled and opened the next one.
I love you. –S
I texted her back.
I miss you and love you too. Got good news. Can I see you tonight? –A
Next I called my lawyer and made sure all the money stuff was worked out. Then I called my dad to tell him the good news.
We pulled up to the house and I was still on the phone. Casey grabbed my hand to get my attention.
"I forgot something up in your room. I'm going to go up." She whispered.
I nodded and then continued the conversation with my dad. After about 5 minutes I ended the call and walked into the house. Casey still hadn't come back down. I wondered what she was doing. I walked up to my room. My phone beeped on the way up.
Can't wait to see you.-S
I grinned like a little school girl in love.. which I was, and continued up the stairs.
When I opened the door I didn't see her. Hmm. Maybe she went downstairs. I threw my bag on my bed and started to walk to the bathroom when the door opened just as I got to it.
Oh My God!
Standing in front of me wearing nothing but her jewelry was Casey. And I stood nearly 2 ft. from her with my mouth wide open. I had always been attracted to Casey. She had a very fit body. Toned legs and abs. Nothing like my abs but pretty darn close. She had the sexiest smirk on her face that I had ever seen her wear. As she walked closer to me I couldn't move. My eyes went from her legs to her chest veeery slowly before they finally met her lust filled eyes. She was almost up against me when she cupped my face and leaned in to kiss me. Finally I find my voice.
"Case. What are you doing?" My voice was shaky and unsure.
"What we both want me to do." She said seductively.
"You want this. I don't." I shook my head.
"Really? That's not what your eyes said."
"There you go listening to my eyes again." I moved away from her but backed into the wall. Uh oh. This isn't good.
"Your eyes are more truthful." She said moving slowly towards me again. I tried my best to keep my eyes off of her body.
"Look Case. There's no doubt that I am attracted to you. I am not denying that. But I can't do this with you anymore." I held my hand out to try and stop her.
"I should have never told you I was in love with you. I'm sorry that I did. But I still need you Ash."
"I can't give you what you want. I can't give you what you need. I don't love you like that Case."
She took my hand that was keeping her from me and held it against the wall and then took her other hand and cupped my center.
"This is what a want. This is what I need." She whispered in my ear.
Casey's hand on my center was comfortable and familiar. It brought back memories of the good times we had. If there was anyone in my life who even made me feel half of what Spencer made me feel it was Casey. With her I felt safe, warm and content. But I was never in love with her. I knew what that was like now. I knew what love was.
I pulled her hand off of me and gently pushed her away.
"What is wrong with you?" She yelled.
"I told you I can't." I walked over to my bed, sat down and put my head in my hands.
"Please put your clothes back on."
"I don't get you Ashley. For the last couple years you have made it known that you wanted to be with me. We tried and tried and it didn't work. But you didn't stop. Constantly flirting with me. Constantly hitting on me. Hinting to me that you wanted to fuck me whenever you had the chance. You didn't care that I had a girlfriend. I wanted you too Ash. I wanted you all this time. Never once did I stop loving you. So I break up with my girlfriend who made me very happy so we could finally be together and now you say you don't want me. Who the fuck are you?" She grabbed her clothes and started putting them on.
"I don't understand. When did things change? When did you stop wanting me? When I was suddenly available? Do you know how fucked up that is?" She was getting angrier and angrier.
"Who do you think you are? You can't play with people like that Ashley. God how fucking stupid am I? I broke up with a great girl for you. Tell me why. I want to know why?" She was now kneeling on the floor in front of me. She was in my face.
"Tell me why Ashley. I deserve the truth. I at least deserve that. And don't fucking lie to me. I know you better than anyone." She started crying.
"Tell me." She screamed through her tears.
I couldn't lie to her even if I wanted to.
"I fell in love." I said quietly.
She looked at me with tears streaming down her face. Her face changed. She was confused.
"You fell in love?"
"Yes."
She smiled and then started laughing as she stood up. She started pacing.
"Ashley we both know that the only person you have ever been in love with is yourself. Try again."
"I know it's so hard to believe. Poor little damaged Ashley couldn't possibly fall in love. Fuck you Casey. I don't need your negativity. I need people in my life who believe in me. People who love me without wanting something from me. If you can't accept that then I can't have you in my life." I stood up and walked to the door holding it open for her.
"You need to go." I said without looking at her.
She grabbed her bag and stopped to face me.
"I do believe in you Ash. I love you. I've always loved you. I loved Ashley the fuck up and even poor little damaged Ashley. Both of those Ashley's are still in there." She pointed to my heart.
"Even the Ashley I've seen in the last month. The Ashley I saw today. That Ashley has always been there too. I have always believed in you Ash. The good, the bad, all of you. I'm glad that you finally started believing in yourself. I want to be in your life Ash. But I don't know how to if I'm not loving you. So I guess I can't." She caressed my face and I didn't stop her. Her big droopy brown eyes were starting to fill with tears again. As were mine.
"I'll always love you Ash. Don't forget that. I hope that whoever this girl is that you're in love with can love you like you deserve." She leaned in and kissed my cheek.
"Forever Ash. That's how long I'll love you. I'll be here if you need me."
When she was finally out of sight I slid down the door. I sat on the floor and I cried. It was over for me and Casey. I was going to miss her so much.
I slowly stood up and walked over to my bag. I grabbed my phone and called the one person who could help me.
"Hey Ash, what's up?"
"I need you. Can you come over?"
Review please. Reviews=Inspiration=Faster updates :)
"