It's back! For those of you who didn't get the pleasure of reading this chapter. Enjoy! Thank you to the readers responsible for making this happen. You don't know how much I appreciate it. And I have now learned the meaning of "back up your files" Lol.
I own nothing buy my imagination
She was here in less than 20 minutes. I wonder how many accidents she caused on the way here. She let herself in with the key I gave her and found me in my room face down, crying on my bed.
"Ash?" She sat down on the bed and rubbed my back affectionately. "What happened?"
"Casey happened. We are no longer friends. I told her I didn't want her in my life. She can't just be my friend so she doesn't want to be in it either."" I paused when she handed me a tissue. "She was my best friend my entire life. She's always been there for me, not always the way she should have been but she was still there."
"Ash what the hell happened for you two to end your friendship?"
I turned around and sat up against the head board. I explained to her what happened and she just stood there with her eyes as big as saucers and her mouth wide open.
"Nooooo. She didn't." I laughed.
"Yes. She definitely did."
"Wow!" She said still in shock.
"No kidding. I just don't get it. Casey has never acted that way. But then again she never had to. All she had to do was look at me a certain way and I was hers. She actually had me being mad at myself tonight and I am pretty damn sure I did nothing wrong. And after she left I wanted to go after her and make sure she was okay. What the hell is wrong with me?" I started banging my head against the wall.
"Ash there is nothing wrong with you. You're human. You care about her. Like you said she was your best friend. Of course you were concerned for her."
I scooted off the side of the bed and pulled her into a hug.
"Thank you Miranda. I really needed someone to talk to and you always seem to make me feel better."
"You don't have to thank me Ash. I'm your friend. That's what friends are for right?" She pulled away from the hug and I tugged her back into my arms.
"You're more than just a friend. You're my best friend. I am lucky to have you."
I finally let her go and she grabbed my phone off the table next to the bed.
"You need to call Spencer. She was so worried about you." She handed me the phone and started walking out of the room. "I'll be downstairs raiding the fridge if you need me." She smiled and then was gone.
She picked up on the second ring.
"Ash, are you okay?" Now I felt worse. Spencer was worried about me.
"Yeah Spence I'm fine. Casey and I got into another fight and some things happened and you know what, I would rather talk to you about it in person."
"God Ash I was so worried when Miranda told me you called her. And then I was even more worried that you didn't call me. Are you sure you are alright?"
"Yes Spencer. I am fine. You don't need to worry. I just really needed a friend to talk to and considering it was about Casey I thought Miranda would be best." I paused and repositioned myself in my bed. "I wish you were holding me right now Spence." My voice cracked when I said her name.
"Then come over Ashley."
"Spence."
"Please Ash. Come over so I can see for myself that you are okay."
"I'm okay Spence. I promise."
"Ashley , get your cute little ass over here. I won't take no for an answer."
"You just called my ass cute. I think I will stay home tonight." She knew I was joking. At least I hoped she did.
"Fine. Ashley get your sexy ass over here. Now!" Now that's what I am talking about.
"That's more like it Spence. I'll get a ride with Miranda. That's if she is done eating all of my food."
"How am I going to tell Spencer what happened with Casey?" I asked when we pulled out of my drive way.
"You have to tell her Ash. You can't keep this from her. Just be honest with her and I'm sure everything will work itself out." She held my hand over the console and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"I hope you're right."
When we got there Spencer was already in bed. I crept up the stairs slowly only to find her reading. She was wearing light blue pajama bottoms, a white tank top, and those black glasses that for some reason I find so sexy. Her hair was down, she was void of makeup and the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She finally saw me and tossed her book and glasses onto the night stand. All the drama from earlier became a distant memory when she opened her arms to me and I sunk into them.
I breathed her in and kissed her softly.
"I missed you." I whispered inches from her lips.
"I missed you too." She kissed me and held me to her a little tighter.
"Are you okay?" She asked concern evident in her voice.
"Yeah. A lot happened today. Some good and some bad."
"Do you want to talk to me about it?"
"I'll talk to you about the good. Alyssa will be transferred to the beach house tomorrow afternoon. Everything's been taken care of. I need to talk to Mr. Goodman tomorrow to see if I can leave at lunch. I need to be there when she gets there. Spence she was so happy. I wish you could have seen her smile."
"Ashley I am so proud of you. What you did was very generous and caring. You have such a good heart. You're amazing."
She caressed my cheek and I kissed her hand.
"What about the bad? Do you want to talk about that?" Uh, not really.
"I want to talk to you about it but can we wait until tomorrow? I just don't want to think about it anymore tonight."
"Okay. We'll talk tomorrow then." She smiled and then ran her hands through her hair before she laid her head down on my chest.
"Spence I'm going to be playing tomorrow night at Pure. Are you going to come?"
She lifted her head off my chest to look at me.
"I probably shouldn't but you know I will. I can't explain what watching you up on that stage does to me."
"Oh really?" I wiggled my eyebrows at her.
"Really." She wiggled hers back.
"So you're going to come then?" I smirked at her. She definitely got the double meaning.
"Yes I will be there." She laughed and shook her head.
"You should bring your friends. I would love to meet them. You know as Miranda's best friend."
"We'll see."
"We should get some sleep Ash."
"Mmm sleep sounds good after the long, drama filled day I had."
I kissed her head and whispered good night. I fell asleep holding her in my arms.
I woke up when the alarm went off at 5 a.m. I don't know how I had slept through it before. It was rather loud. Somehow we were in the same position that we had fallen asleep in. I was still holding her. This was the first time I had woken up cuddling with Spencer. It was the first time I had woken up cuddling with anyone. It was wonderful.
She threw her arm over and slapped the alarm clock and it fell off of the night stand. I laughed.
"Remind me to never wake you up."
She smiled with her eyes still closed and went back to cuddling with me.
"You have to get up Spence." I ran my hand through her hair and kissed her head.
"No. Too warm." She groaned.
"Never seemed to matter to you all the other times we have slept together."
"This is the first time I have woken up in your arms. Usually I wake up cold."
"Let's just sleep in then."
"That sounds so tempting."
The alarm clock started ringing again from the floor and it startled us. Spencer jumped out of bed and nearly fell to the floor herself trying to turn it off.
I couldn't hold back my laughter.
She glared at me.
"Sorry Spence. I don't know how I have slept through you and your issues with the alarm clock."
"It's not usually that loud." She put it back on the night stand and stretched. I caught a glimpse of her stomach and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I don't know how I was looking at her but she looked at me curiously.
"What?" She asked.
"Uh. Nothing."
"What?" She asked again. Not buying my answer.
"You're so beautiful."
She smiled with a bit of a blush and then got back on the bed and started crawling towards me. She straddled me and leaned in for a kiss. She hovered above my lips and whispered "I love you."
"Right back at ya babe."
I put us out of our misery and pulled her head down so that our lips could finally touch. The kiss was gentle and slow and perfect. Savoring the taste of each other's lips. Then suddenly she pulled away and hopped off of me and off the bed.
She was almost out the door when she turned around.
"You getting up now?"
"Well since I am fully awake now, yes I am getting up." She chuckled and walked out the door.
Our morning started the same. Coffee and kisses. She left around 6:30 and Miranda and I left shortly after. She took me to get my car since I would be leaving at lunch to go to Malibu.
I made it to 1st period without running into Casey. When I walked into the classroom it was empty. Spencer's coat and briefcase were there but she wasn't. I sat down and pulled out my I-pod. 5 minutes later students starting filing in and I was bummed. I guess I had to wait until tonight to talk to Spencer again. I closed my eyes and started humming the song that was playing. Only to have an ear bud yanked pulled out.
"Morning Ash." Madi winked at me and then walked back to her seat.
Still no Spencer. I was actually getting worried.
Then finally she came bursting through the door.
And Damn!
She looked so damn hot. And yes I did see her before she left the house but seeing her at school as my teacher looking like that.
Damn!
Her hair was down around her shoulders and she had her glasses propped on the top of her head. She was wearing a white button down blouse with the sleeves rolled up and a few buttons open at the top. But I couldn't take my eyes off of her legs. Her beautiful, tan and toned legs. Spencer didn't wear a lot of skirts and I for the life of me couldn't figure out why. I was sure in for a treat today.
"Sorry guys. Everyone open your books tooooo..Page 234. Who would like to start us off?" Of course Cassandra Wheatley volunteered. Suck up.
She started reading and I looked up at Spencer.
"Everything ok?" I mouthed to her.
She nodded and looked back down at her book.
Class went on slooowly but I didn't mind. I had a whole bucket full of eye candy right before me. And man did I have a sweet tooth. She caught me staring at her several times and kept pointing down at my book, shaking her head and one time I could have sworn she blushed. In fact I know she did. I sure hope Madi didn't catch that. I would never hear the end of that. The bell rang and I gathered my stuff up and at the last possible minute stood up to leave. Just as I was about to approach Spencer, Cassandra got in front of me and started talking about extra credit with her. Ugh, that girl is really beginning to get on my nerves.
I got out my notebook and wrote her a note. I set it on her desk underneath her glasses and then reluctantly left.
Somehow I was lucky enough to get to lunch without running into Casey, and I hadn't seen Carmen since she kissed me so that was good. I walked to Mr. Goodman's office and just as I was about to go in my phone rang. It was Ms. Cooper. She explained to me that Alyssa wasn't feeling well today so they were going to wait until tomorrow or Saturday to move her. She said that I shouldn't stop by today that she would probably sleep most of the day. I got a sick feeling in my stomach just knowing she wasn't feeling well. I quickly walked to Spencer's classroom and she was gathering her things probably getting ready to leave.
"Ash what's wrong?" She came to me and put her hand on my arm.
"Go sit down." She said and then closed the door.
She sat down sideways on the chair next to me. Staying as far away as she possibly could.
"Alyssa's not feeling good today so they're not moving her until tomorrow, maybe Saturday. Her mom doesn't want me to come by today."
She reached her hand out but then pulled it back. She wanted to comfort me and I wanted so badly for her to hold me. As hot as dating your teacher sounds it really does suck sometimes.
"Why don't you come over after school? I don't have classes today. We can talk okay?"
"Yeah."
"You should get to lunch." She said and then walked to the door and opened it. I got up and walked to the door and leaned against the door way. We just stood there staring at each other.
"I love you." I mouthed.
"I love you too." She mouthed back.
I walked to the quad after grabbing some food from the cafeteria. I didn't get much. Just a slice of pizza, a fruit cup and a Coke of course. I was about 10 feet from the table and I couldn't move any closer. Casey was there. Casey was there acting like nothing had happened. She was sitting with Madi, Chelsea, Kyla and Miranda.
"Hey" Miranda said when she saw me. She walked up to me. "I thought you were leaving."
"They're not moving her today."
"Oh. Well come sit down." I looked over at the table and Casey was staring at me.
"Or we can sit over there." She pointed towards the table with Amanda and Glenda.
"Uh..no" I sat down at the table and didn't look up. I opened my fruit bowl.
"I have to go get something from my car. I'll see you guys later." Casey said and then got up and walked away.
"Okay what was that?" Madi asked confused.
"Long story. And no I don't want to talk about it right now." I took a big bite out of my pizza and looked away.
Madi took the hint and started talking to Chelsea and Kyla about the stupid prom thing that was this weekend. No thank you. Miranda grabbed my hand.
"Sorry. She came and sat down and I didn't want to be rude."
"You don't have to apologize Miranda. It's okay."
The next few classes dragged on and I was contemplating skipping my last class. Avoiding Casey all together was starting to sound like a great idea. Somehow I ended up there anyway. I didn't even go to the locker room I just headed to the gym and plopped down on the bleachers. Ms. Matthews just shook her head. Whatever.
I put my I-pod on and leaned back into the bleachers. I actually dozed off a bit but was woken abruptly buy a ball hitting me hard in the chest. I quickly sit up and look out to see Casey smirking.
"Sorry. Slipped."
I glared at her and she just turned around walking back to the game they were playing.
I sighed. Bitch.
I could not wait to get to Spencer's. I just wanted her to hold me and never let go. I walked in the door and she was sitting on couch watching some documentary again. My baby was such a nerd a very hot nerd.
"Hi."
"Hi." I leaned down and kissed her and then sat down very close to her.
She immediately snuggled into me.
"Whatcha watching?"
"Nothing." She said turning off the T.V.
"So you ready to talk?" Not really.
She sensed my reluctance.
"Ash you can't keep it all in."
"I know. So what do want me to talk about? Casey or Alyssa."
"Whatever is easier at the moment."
I laughed.
"So neither."
She looked at me ruefully.
I elaborated.
"I lost Casey last night and I could lose Alyssa at any minute. I couldn't do anything about losing Casey and I sure as hell can't do anything about losing Alyssa."
I put my head in my hands and ran my fingers through my hair. I felt her put her arm around me and then she kissed my head.
"I'm here Ashley, talk to me."
"Trust me you don't want to hear what I have to say."
She was confused.
"I don't want any secrets between us Spence so I'm going to tell you what happened last night. It's just hard because I know you are going to be mad."
Now she was curious and a bit scared. I had no problem reading that.
"She called me last night and asked to come over. She wanted to talk. I told her okay and to give me a half hour because I needed to jump in the shower. When I got out ten minutes later she was already there and I was naked. Nothing happened but she was staring at me. I went back to the bathroom and got dressed. When I came back out she was looking at a picture of us and was crying. I felt like I should comfort her so I did. As you already know she stayed the night."
"Did you sleep with her?" She interrupted. Her face was neutral.
"If by sleep you mean SLEEP then yes."
"Yes." Oh boy she doesn't look happy.
"So you let a girl who you know is in love with you sleep with you in your bed? A girl who you used to have sex with. A girl that no doubt still wants to have sex with you."
And there is the reaction I was waiting for. Anger. And I hadn't even gotten to the worst part.
"Yes. But she was my best friend Spence. It's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before. As friends. And nothing happened."
"Ashley that is not the point. You didn't know about her feelings then. You do now. That wasn't fair to her. That wasn't fair to me. Your girlfriend." Her face was turning red. She stood up and walked over to the window.
"Spence you knew she slept over. You said you weren't mad."
"I didn't know she shared your bed with you. Damn Ashley what were you thinking?" She asked not even looking at me.
"It was nothing. Nothing happened."
"Again not the point." She yelled finally looking my way.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I guess I just wasn't..thinking."
"I guess not."
She was right. I shouldn't have let her stay in my bed with me. If it had been the other way around I would have been fuming.
"What happened last night?" She said sitting down on the table in front of me.
"I don't think I even want to know."
I put my head down and looked at the floor. If she was mad now she was going to be ** in a minute.
"She kind of tried to .. seduce me." I still couldn't look at her.
"She kind of tried?" I didn't say anything.
"Look at me Ashley." She demanded.
"What happened? Start from the beginning."
"We came home from the hospital and I was still on the phone with my dad. She said she left something up in my room and went up to get it. I went up about 5 minutes after her. When I got to my room." I paused and took a deep breath.
"She was naked."
Spencer closed her eyes and rubbed her face.
"Go on."
"I told her once again that I didn't want her like that but she didn't listen. She wouldn't listen. She pushed me up against the wall and she.."
"Did she touch you?" She asked calmly which kind of scared me.
She already knew the answer.
I nodded.
"How the hell could you let that happen?" She stood back up and started pacing.
"I don't know. One minute she was just standing there and the next she had me up against the wall with her hand between my legs."
She scowled at me. Then walked over to the window again. Her arms were crossed and I think she was biting her tongue.
I got up and walked closer to her. I didn't touch her. I was afraid.
"I pushed her away Spence. I told her I didn't want her in anyway and to put her clothes back on." I paused to see if she had a response. She didn't.
"After she yelled at me for about 20 minutes I told her I didn't want her in my life anymore. I told her to leave and she left." The last part came out quietly. I was slightly trembling and my voice cracked.
"I have to go. I need some air." She started walking towards the door. I reached out and tried to grab her arm. She pulled away.
"I need some time to think. Alone." And she walked out the door of her own house.
I walked over to the couch and sat down with my head in my hands.
I fucked up. I fucked up bad. Fuck!
"That didn't go too well." I looked up to see Miranda standing in the door way.
"What gave you that impression?"
"She'll come around. She's mad. You screwed up Ash but you didn't screw up enough for her to not forgive you. She just needs a little time."
"Thanks Miranda." I started to cry and she was at my side in seconds.
She ran her hands through my hair.
"Everything will be okay Ash." Then suddenly she was gone. Where did she go?
After a few minutes she was back with a wash cloth. She turned my face towards her and started wiping my cheeks.
"Your mascara is running. It's kind of scary." She smiled.
I mustered up a smile and let her clean my face.
She took the wash cloth back to the bathroom and I stood up. I grabbed my bag and headed for the door.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to go home. I don't think she wants to see me right now and she shouldn't have to avoid her own home."
"Okay. Call me if you need me." She hugged me tightly and I hugged her back.
"Thanks. And I will." I kissed her cheek and left.
As I laid in bed I thought of all the ways I could have possibly went wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have let Casey come over. Maybe I shouldn't have comforted her. Maybe I shouldn't have let her stay the night. Maybe I shouldn't have let her share my bed. Maybe I shouldn't have drove her to school or taken her with me to the hospital. I know I shouldn't have let her back me up into that wall. I know I shouldn't have let her grope me. I couldn't move. I couldn't say no to her. It's always been that way. She knows me. She plays me. I know that but I still let it happen. It doesn't really matter now. She is out of my life. It still hurts to say that but what other option did I have. I would just continue to hurt her and Spencer. Now Spencer is upset with me and I don't know how to deal with that or what to even say. I know I fucked up and I know being sorry isn't enough. Or maybe it is. I just don't know. I just know I have never felt this horrible. She had to forgive me. I deserved to be forgiven..right?
My phone beeped and interrupted my moment of self-pity. Thank fully, I was starting to annoy myself.
My face lit up when I saw who the message was from.
Why did you leave? –S
Seriously? I thought that was what she wanted.
I thought that was what you wanted. –A
If I wanted you to leave I would have asked you to. –S
I still don't know how to read her sometimes.
You were angry with me. I figured you didn't want to see me.-A
I was angry with you. I needed some time alone. I wish you didn't leave.-S
Sorry. Thought it would be easier.-A
Easier for what or whom? I am going to call you. Okay?-S
Yeah. That's fine. –A
A couple seconds later the phone rang. I took a deep breath and answered it.
"I'm sorry Spence."
"For what? What happened with Casey or for leaving?" She was still angry but I could hear a hint of sadness in her voice as well.
"Both." My voice cracked again. I held back the tears.
"I forgive you Ashley." Really? That was easier than I thought it was going to be.
"Really?"
"Don't be so surprised. I love you Ash and I know your intentions were never to hurt me."
"I would never hurt you Spence. At least not on purpose. I love you so much." And there's those damn tears.
"I know sweetie. I really wish you wouldn't have left."
"Sorry. I just thought that you didn't want me there."
"I always want you here." My heart melted at those words.
"Do you want me to come back over?" Please say yes.
"No." Okay, not what I was expecting.
"No?"
"Nope."
The doorbell rang and startled me.
"Hold on Spence. Some one's at the door."
I ran downstairs and peeked out the window. I could not have smiled any bigger. I opened the door excitingly.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"I can't believe you're here."
"I know. I was upset when you weren't there when I got home so I jumped in my car and came straight here."
I just smiled at her.
"Are you going to let me in?"
"Oh. Sorry." I moved to the side and let her in.
I shut the door and turned around. Her lips were on my instantly.
"I don't like fighting with you." She said between kisses.
"I don't like giving you reasons to want to fight with me. I'm so sorry Spence."
"Shh. I know you are. Just promise to take me into account next time some naked chick tries to seduce you."
"I was thinking about you Spence. Which is why I pushed her away. I love you. I want you. Only you."
Her hands were on my face and she pulled me into her again. The kiss was so powerful. I had never experienced anything like it. I guess that is what is feels like when you don't think you are ever going to feel it again. If that makes any sense. I know now that I couldn't live without Spencer. I couldn't live without her lips. Just the feel of them against mine did things to me that sex with any girl never had. I could kiss her forever and that would be enough. Okay maybe not forever but for right now.
But the kiss started to get aggressively hot. Her hands were now on my hips pulling me into her. I gasped and she snickered. I bit down on her bottom lip and she stopped. Then her tongue was in my mouth and I sucked on it. My hands moved to her behind and I picked her up and laid her down on the couch. I was half on top of her. My knee in between her legs. My hands in her hair. Her hands on my hips. My mouth on her neck, nibbling, sucking, biting. Her head was thrown back and she was letting out soft whimpers. Then a loud moan escaped her throat when I moved my knee lightly into her center.
"Sorry."
"No you're not." She said slightly out of breath.
"You're right. I'm not." I laughed and she pulled me down to kiss her again.
She flipped us over somehow and hovered over me seductively. Her eyes full of so much lust. Her lips parted as her tongue ran over them. I reached up and traced them with my fingers. She surprised me when she took a finger into her mouth. Holy shit that was so sexy. Our mouths found each other again, hot and hungry. I didn't know if I was going to be able to stop this time. If we were going to stop it was definitely going to have to be her. I spoke too soon. She stopped and sat up. She took a deep breath.
"Damn it." She yelled in frustration.
I laughed.
"It's not funny." She said with a small smile.
I sat up and moved the strands of hair in her eyes behind her ears.
"It's okay baby." I assured her.
"No it's not. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let things get so out of hand. I just want you so bad. But we probably shouldn't have make-up sex for our first time." She laughed this time.
"No. We shouldn't. Our first time should be slow.." I kissed her gently "and passionate..".. "and gentle" I pulled back and stared into those beautiful blue eyes. "It should be perfect..and it will be."
"I have no doubts about that."
"Hold on." I moved her off of me.
"Where are you going?"
"I'll be right back. Stay there."
I raced up to my bedroom and grabbed my guitar.
I ran back downstairs and she shook her head smiling at me.
"So I wrote this song the other day and I was going to play it tonight but I think you should hear it first."
"When did you have time to write a song?"
"Music class. Mrs. Jennings pretty much lets me do what I want. She figured I didn't need her to teach me anything."
"She talks about your talent all of the time. You don't know how much I want to tell her how proud I am of my girlfriend too." I love when she says she's proud of me. It makes me feel so special. So loved. Something no-one else made me feel. I was so lucky.
"So anyway I wrote this the other day and it's fit into tonight rather well. I hope this makes you feel better about wanting to wait."
I sat up straight and tuned my guitar. After clearing my throat I started strumming.
Lyin' here with you so close to me,
It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe,
I'm caught up in this moment, caught up in your smile.
I've never opened up to anyone,
So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms,
We don't need to rush this, let's just take it slow.
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight,
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright,
And I don't want to mess this thing up,
No, I don't want to push too far.
Just a shot in the dark that you just might,
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life,
So baby, I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight.
I know that if we give this a little time,
It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find,
It's never felt so real, no, it's never felt so right.
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight,
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright,
No, I don't want to mess this thing up,
I don't want to push too far.
Just a shot in the dark that you just might,
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life,
So baby, I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight.
No, I don't want to say goodnight,
I know it's time to leave,
But you'll be in my dreams,
Tonight, tonight, tonight.
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight,
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright,
And I don't want to mess this thing up,
I don't want to push too far.
Just a shot in the dark that you just might,
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life,
So baby, I'm alright,
Oh, let's do this right with just a kiss goodnight.
With a kiss goodnight, kiss goodnight.
I could see the tears forming in her arms. She moved off the couch and kneeled down in front of me. After taking the guitar out of my hands she pulled me into a hug. I could hear her sniffling. She was crying. When we pulled away I wiped the tears from her eyes.
"I'll wait forever if I have to. You mean everything to me Spence. You're it for me."
She smiled though her tears and kissed me gently.
"You're it for me too."