Once again Thank You for your words. They are appreciated and inspiring.
hollymarie4- Lol. I know exactly what you mean. I always have a lot to say and then when I come to review I'm like "shit, I have to read it again."
PurpleLover92- Thanks. Glad you like those 'hot' scenes. Thanks for the confidence boost too :)
imaferrari-Lol at your "bathroom conflict" . I think everyone wants Gram. You'll have to stand in line.
Sgarc12- drool..ol. Oh yes the couch scene. Def. drool worthy. Yes sadly the story is ending soon but not too soon. I still have some story to tell. Hopefully this chapter doesn't make you cry. JK. It shouldn't. ;)
luvmeh8meucan'tchangeme-I am so happy that my story could be an inspiration to you. thanks :)
Brucas4ever- Paula has a lot up her sleeve. You shall be surprised ;)
Scarsoflove73- What have I told you about patience Love?
noodles307- Yes yes, anything by Billie Holiday = Classic. Gram is my ultimate picture of the coolest and most laid back old granny. Of course we all wish we had one. She was inspired by the grandma in The Lucky One..a Nicholas Sparks book. Of course my version is ten times better ) Thanks..I don't try to be Brilliant..just worthy of your guys' support. :)
patti1996- Well thank you :)
momo0424- Yes, stop trying to read and watch. lol. Paula can be a bitch..no surprise there. I think she will be surprising in this one though. Yes indeed, what a way to wake up. Gram is the best.
Toni- Damn that Paula ;) Yes Alyssa should be in the next upcoming chapters and it may or may not be sad. I don't want to give anything away. I hope your baby cousin is doing well. 3
Ade77- Glad you are finally reading and enjoying the story. Thanks for the reviews :)
TwittyArg- Another 40 chapters? Oh boy. The first 40 have taken a lot out of me. I don't think I could do another 40. I probably will do another story, don't know about a sequel. We will see. So glad that you are enjoying this story and my words mean a lot to you. I don't doubt that there are people like my Ash and Spence out there. I have to believe there truly is. The hopeless romantic in me believes there is. As for you literally feeling my words, you don't know what that means to hear that :) Thanks
I own nothing but my imagination. Gram, Miranda, Alyssa and Casey are mine too.
Dedicated to the one and only noodles307- Thanks for being a loyal reader and honest reviewer. :)
Spencer's P.O.V.
We walked up the small porch but just before we got to the door my mother stopped. She started playing with the rings on her fingers.
"Actually would it be alright if I just spoke to you alone first Spence?" She asked. The nervousness in her voice surprised me.
I looked over at Ashley who nodded. She almost looked relieved.
"I need to make a few phone calls and it's beautiful out so I'll just take a walk."
"Ash you don't have to leave."
"It's okay Spence. I'll be right back." She kissed my cheeked and winked at me before turning around and walking back down the steps.
"Okay then. But don't go too far." I didn't plan on speaking to my mother for that long. I had a feeling I wasn't going to like what she was going to say.
"I won't." She said while walking away.
She sat down on the couch and started playing with the rings on her fingers again. I never noticed my mother had a nervous habit. Must have picked it up during the years when I scarcely saw her.
"Do you want something to drink?"
"Sure. Water is fine." Wow. Surprised she didn't ask for scotch.
I grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge. I handed her one but she didn't drink any she just set in on the table next to her. She just sat there for what seemed like minutes.
"So?" I was getting impatient with her.
"I'm trying so hard to understand Spencer. I was up all night, I couldn't sleep. I just don't get it. I mean what on God's green earth would possess you to be with a…a girl?"
Stay calm Spencer.
"That's simple mother. It's called love." She was right. She just didn't get it.
"Love, love? Really Spence. I must admit she is beautiful. That is quite obvious. But you could practically have anyone you wanted Spence. Any guy you wanted. You're a beautiful, smart, kind, well-mannered and successful woman. You would have no problem I'm sure finding a really decent and loyal man. So why? Why her? What does she have that they don't, you know besides the obvious?"
Oh God, where do I start?
"Her name is Ashley mother. Ashley. And this girl is probably the most wonderful human being I have ever met. Yes she is beautiful mother and I will admit that she is the first and only female I have ever really been attracted to. But I didn't fall in love with the girl on the outside. She has such a good heart, she is so caring and gentle. She's very smart and by far the most talented person I know. She takes care of me, makes me smile when I am sad. Always knows how to make me laugh. When I am with her I feel like the most beautiful and most lucky woman. I know I said this before but she makes me so happy. I have never been this happy and never felt this loved."
I actually think what I said was starting to affect her. She had her elbows resting on her knees and her hands were covering her mouth. Her eyes were starting to tear up.
"You can say what you want and believe what you want to believe. I don't care. I love Ashley with all of my heart and all that I am. And she loves me back just the same. Sure we have our issues but who doesn't. I honestly believe that in 20 years we will still be this happy because every single day we have been together she has found a different way to make me fall in love with her more. You may not see it now. But if you opened your eyes you would. See past the fact that she is a woman. See past the fact that she isn't what you wanted for me. Open your eyes mother and you will see what I see. Love. It's amazing and it's unconditional and I won't apologize for it."
She wiped her eyes, stood up and walked over to the window. It actually hurt to see her cry but it felt good knowing she was affected by what I said.
"I can see that you love her Spencer and I don't doubt that she loves you back."
"But?" I continue for her. She leaned up against the wall and sighed.
"No buts. I'm far from perfect Spencer. We both know that. I have made my share of mistakes and I take all of the blame for the position your father and I are in. I don't deserve him or his love. He loves like you do Spence. With all of your heart. And I wish…I really do wish." She paused to wipe her eyes again. Her words were barely heard through the sobs that were suddenly coming from her.
"I wish I felt for him the way you feel for her." She was full on sobbing now. What the hell? I had never seen my mother like this. I didn't know how to react.
"I am so sorry I made you defend your love. I saw it last night. The way you two looked at each other. The way you held each other's hands for support. The way you stood up for your love. I saw the performance too at the bar. Pretty much all of it."
"You did?" I didn't know. I thought she just saw me kissing Ashley.
"You must really love her do that for her. I was so confused at first. I knew you were singing to someone but it looked like singing to someone at your brothers table. Imagine my surprise when you sat on her lap. Then afterwards, that kiss. I didn't understand it, I didn't like it, I was angry. But I was jealous too. I haven't seen that kind of passion in, well, never."
I walked over to her and handed her a tissue. Grabbing one for myself as well.
"I'm sorry Spencer." Never did I think I would hear those words from my mother.
"Not just for questioning your love and trying to make you see it was wrong. I'm sorry for being a horrible mother. I'm just grateful that your dad has given you enough love for the both of us. And your grandmother of course."
"I accept your apology mother. It would make me so happy if you gave mine and Ashley's relationship a chance. As for you being a better mother. I would love nothing more. Because no matter how much love Dad gives me and no matter how much Gram is there for me I still need you. I still need my mother."
Tears were streaming down both of our faces as we embraced in a very long and well overdue hug.
"I really am sorry and I will do my best to be what you need. I love you."
"I love you too mom."
We pulled away and she wiped her eyes once more and laughed.
"I'm such a mess."
"Thank you mom. You don't know what this has meant to me."
"Actually I do. I'm just sorry and quite ashamed that it took me this long."
"Better late than never." I smiled at her and she smiled back, a true genuine smile.
"Go get your girl and bring her inside. I'm going to go and try to pull myself together."
"Okay… Oh and mom?"
She stopped at the door way.
"Promise me that you will put away your signature 'I'm Paula Carlin and I will kill you with my bare hands if you don't stay away from my daughter' glare. Seriously. You had Ashley freaking out all night last night." I chuckled.
She laughed. "What glare?" Then she turned and headed to the bathroom.
I needed to find Ashley and when I opened the door she was sitting on the steps listening to her I-pod. I snuck up behind her and sat down so she was in between my legs. My arms reached around her and she jumped.
"Geez woman you scared me." She said while pulling the ear plugs out.
I kissed her cheek and held her tight.
"I love you Ashley Marie Davies." I whispered. I knew she knew what she meant to me but in that moment I just had to say it.
She turned slightly so she could see my face.
"Are you okay?" She asked clearly concerned. My face and eyes were probably still red from crying.
"I am more than okay. I really am." She smiled.
"I love you too Spencer Ann…Carlin." She pressed her lips to mine in a very loving and innocent kiss. I know..Ashley and innocent don't really go together but that's how I would describe it. It was the perfect kiss at that moment.
"Come on in. Mom wants to talk to the both of us." I stood up and pulled her off the step. She looked a little scared.
"No worries okay. It's going to be a good talk."
We walked back into the house and sat down on the couch.
"So everything went well?" She whispered.
"Everything went great." I kissed her again gently and caressed her face with the back of my hand. Her eyes looked over my shoulder and suddenly she pulled back.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt." My mother said from the door way.
She surprised me by sitting on the coffee table in front of us. I laughed inside when Ashley's body tensed up next to me. I reached over and grabbed her hand.
"I want to say something." Ashley blurted out, surprising me and my mother.
"Sure." My mother replied.
Ashley took a deep breath and looked directly at my mother.
"I understand why you would be against this. I really do. You're a mother and I know you love your daughter and you want what's best for her. There's nothing wrong with that." She paused and took another breath. I squeezed her hand.
"My whole life I didn't feel loved. I didn't feel like I was worthy of love. Spencer changed all of that for me. She gave me everything I never knew I needed or even wanted." She choked up and I placed my hand on her back.
"It was so easy to fall in love with her. She's perfect. Perfect in every way that matters to me. And I love her more than I could ever put into words. What we have may not be traditional or ethical in the eyes of others but to us…" She looked over at me and I started tearing up again as soon as our eyes locked.
"To us it's ..everything. It's beautiful, wonderful, magical, incredible, heart stopping, breath taking, no words for, completely, without a doubt, unconditional and never ending…love. And I will not give her up or let her down as long as I live. Not for anything or anyone. You want what's best for her…"
She lifted my hand to her lips and kissed the top of it. Looking into my eyes and melting my heart she quietly said. "I am what is best for her. As long as she is by my side I will do everything in my power to make her happy. I would do literally anything for her. Anything and everything."
Finally she turned back to my mother but she didn't say anything. She noticed my mother's reaction. She knew nothing more needed to be said.
I was crying like a baby. My mother looked like she was about to join me and Ashley, well Ashley was just staring at me lovingly as she held both of my hands. Like I said, she made me fall in love with her every day. Like this very moment. She didn't even have to try. She was just being herself. She was just being Ashley.
"Well Ashley. I do believe you did just put into words how much you love my daughter." She smiled and reached out to touch Ashley's hand. The sight before me made me so overwhelmingly happy. I pursed my lips trying not to get choked up and my tears flowed fast and uncontrollably but I didn't care. They were tears of happiness.
"Now I have something I would like to say to the both of you." She grabbed my hand and then grabbed Ashley's.
"First off I would like to apologize for my behavior yesterday." She directed her apology to Ashley.
"Secondly, I just want to say that I can see how much you love my daughter and she has made it quite obvious that she loves you just the same. Thank you for treating her well and making her happy."
I looked over at Ashley and she looked like she was in shock.
"I was raised to believe that what you two are doing is wrong. But looking at you two, so in love, so happy, so devoted to each other.." She shook her head.
"I don't see wrong. And I am so truly sorry for my reaction."
"Thank you." Ashley whispered.
"You're welcome."
"I may still find it hard at times to understand all of this. But know that I am trying. I really am. And I will do everything I can to support you two." She was still holding our hands and suddenly she brought them together.
"Thanks mom. It means a lot." It really did and I hoped she would become better at understanding it as time went on. Because I had no intentions of giving Ashley up either.
She stood up and we both followed.
I reached my arms out and she walked into them. It felt so good to have my mom back. Hopefully she was back in my life for good.
She pulled back and turned towards Ashley. Ashley didn't look scared anymore, but still unsure. That is until my mother pulled her into a hug. She looked over my mother's shoulder at me with a look of fear. I laughed inside and gave her a big smile.
"Thank you for all of the things you said. My daughter is really lucky to have someone in her life who loves her the way you do. I'm grateful for that."
Ashley just nodded.
"Okay so I am going to get home. Your father has probably already started preparing for dinner. You two are coming right? Okay great." Uh I guess we were going to dinner at my parents.
"Sounds good. Ash?" She still looked like she was in shock. So cute.
"Yeah, yes. Sounds good." I don't care what she says, she's adorable some times.
After my mother left we cuddled up on the couch.
"Did that just happen or did I imagine that?" She asked while lying in my arms.
"You definitely did not imagine that. I must say that I am at a loss for words. My mother's initial reaction was expected; I never thought she would accept us. I still can't believe what she said."
"Okay, maybe we did imagine it." I snorted and she laughed.
"I hope it wasn't my imagination. What you said Ash, what you said was so beautiful. Thank you baby." I kissed her head and she turned in my arms so she was resting in between my legs.
"You're welcome baby. I meant every word." She leaned in for a kiss and I met her half way. The kiss was soft and simple at first. It quickly turned into one of the deepest and most passionate kisses I had ever experienced. We weren't just kissing with our lips; we were kissing with our entire bodies, our hearts and our souls. Every fiber of my being was aching for her touch. My entire body was on fire and begging for her to show me, make me feel how much she loved me.
We made love right there on the couch. Afterwards as she laid on my chest fast asleep I thought about fate. Were we destined to be together? Maybe. Probably. Definitely.
I thanked God for bringing her to me. I thanked God for creating such an amazing human being. I thanked God for giving my mother the strength to do what she did today.
I was so happy. There was a time when I thought I never would be again. There was a time when I thought I would be alone for the rest of my life. There was a time when I thought I could never love anyone again.
She shifted on top of me and I held on to her tighter.
I looked out the window and up to the sky. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. It was such a beautiful day.
"Thank you God for giving me the strength... To love again." I whispered before I drifted off to sleep.
Hope this didn't come off too 'cheesy'. Lol.
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