Thanks to everyone who reviewed. So the time has come for Jo to tell Beth the truth…but will she be able to.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 5

Jo was sat at her desk, looking out of the window at nothing in particular. Lying on her desk, among the mess, were the only files that child services had on Beth. They were basic but the one thing that did appear in it over and over was "problem child". It made Jo angry to see it and eventually she had found she couldn't read anymore, which is how she had come to be staring out of the window at the beautiful sunny day.

She only looked away when she heard a knock. She turned to face the door where Mac stood. "How long have you been watching me?" she asked knowingly.

"Long enough." he told her as he walked in. "You want to tell me what's wrong?" he asked as he pulled up another chair by her desk.

Jo reached down and passed him Beth's file. "I managed to get that from child services today. They say after the last home she "left" they pretty much gave up on her."

Mac began reading the report from the last foster home. "Rodger and Carolynn Olsen state they woke up one morning and she was gone." Mac read out loud.

"Yeah, except that's not what happened…" Jo said to him, anger in her voice that made Mac look up at her in wonder. "Rodger Olsen invited four of his buddies round one night after Carolynn had gone out. They tied Beth down and took turns violating her all night long. They raped her to the point where they thought she was dead, then wrapped her naked body up in a rug and left her by the river." Jo told him, anger even more noticeable in her shaky voice. He could tell she was close to breaking.

Mac dropped the file down onto Jo's desk and thought about what she had said. He thought about the dozens of other girls who had probably been in Rodger Olsen's care who he also abused.

"Every time I think about telling Beth that she's my daughter she tells me about some other sick thing that happened to her and I feel so ashamed and so guilty….that I just can't tell her."

"She needs to know, Jo." he said to her.

"She deserves to know." Jo corrected. "I'm so scared that I'll tell her and she'll hate me, and I wouldn't blame her."

"Jo, you did what you thought was best for her." Mac stated.

"And it backfired in my face." she said, shaking her head as she forced her emotions to stay under control.

Mac just looked at her, wishing there was something he could say to make her feel better. Unable to find words he reached over and took her hand and gave it a slight squeeze. She turned to face him and saw him smiling at her, she had to smile back.

~0~0~0~0~

The lift doors opened with a musical ping that Beth just found annoying. She stepped out onto the 34th floor and found it swarming with people, she had no idea where she was supposed to go to find Jo, she'd just been directed to this floor.

Adam was in his lab, searching the internet as he was only waiting on results. He quickly glanced up and saw Beth standing by the elevator, he looked back down only to quickly look up again, this time to stare at Beth. "Wow!" he said as he pushed himself up and walked out of his lab.

He walked right over to her and asked, "Can I help you?"

Beth instantly found herself smiling when she saw him. "Hi." she said to him.

Adam simply smiled back at her. It was silent between them for a moment and it was then that she noticed how he was just staring at her. "You have got to be related to Jo." he suddenly said to her.

"No…but I am actually here to see her." Beth told him.

"Really! You're not related? Because you are just like another version of her. A much younger version…I mean, I'm not saying Jo's old but your…clearly…err younger." he said, starting to ramble.

Beth just looked at him, biting her lip so as not to laugh. "Do you know where she is?" she asked with a smile that made Adam just stare at her again. It was becoming a little awkward when Beth found she was saved by another voice.

"Beth!" Danny said as he walked over to them.

Adam snapped out of his thoughts as he turned to face Danny and said, "Hey, this is…Beth, that's your name?" he asked turning to face Beth, realising he hadn't actually got round to asking her that. Beth just nodded. "It's pretty…" he said, blushing a little.

"Beth, this is Adam, he's not as dumb as he looks." Danny told her.

Adam just smiled as if flattered until he heard the words play again in his head, "Wait, what?"

Danny just laughed, "Come on I'll take you to Jo, she's in her office." he said as he led the way.

"Hey, err, Beth!" Adam called out. She turned to face him, "Don't tell Jo about the whole old thing….please." he said with a nervous smile.

"I won't. It was nice to meet you, Adam." she said before she followed after Danny. Leaving Adam standing there smiling.

Danny led Beth all the way to Jo's office. He stood in the doorway and knocked. Both Jo and Mac turned to face him and then noticed Beth. "Found her in the hallway being chatted up by Adam." Danny told them.

"That was him chatting me up?" Beth asked Danny.

"You're funny." Danny said before he walked off.

Beth looked at Jo and Mac and said, "I was actually being serious."

Jo laughed and said, "Come in," she noticed how Beth was lingering in the doorway. She stood up and saw Beth's child services file and suddenly thought it was better Beth didn't know she was looking into it. "You'know what, why don't we take a walk?" she suggested instead.

~0~0~0~0~

It was beautiful in central park, but then again both Jo and Beth had always found the park one of New York's most beautiful places.

"So Adam, is trying to clear the camera footage up from the alley at the bar." Jo told Beth. "Hopefully it will show us if the second man you saw the night of the shooting was there in the alley too. If he's on it somewhere then maybe we could identify him."

"Then I hope he's on it. I keep going back to that night…the sounds of the guns are still so real in my head." Beth confessed.

"I could put you in touch with a great counsellor if you think it would help you?" Jo said.

"No that's okay." Beth wasn't the counselling type. "So, you really think Adam will be able to clear the footage up enough?" Beth asked.

Jo nodded confidently, "If anyone can it's him. He's the best."

Beth just smirked and nodded. Jo noticed the smile on her face, she playfully nudged her and asked, "What's that smile about?"

Beth found herself laughing, giggling almost and blushing a little.

"You can tell me." Jo said nudging her again.

"Adam's kinda cute." Beth said.

"You like him." Jo said in a sing-song voice.

"He's hot and he's pretty funny…can't say I ever meet nice guys like him."

"Well you deserve to." Jo said to her.

Beth had to stop, causing Jo to stop as well. She had to wonder why Jo was being so nice to her, why she seemed to care so much. She then looked at Jo, really looked at her. Her brown eyes seemed so familiar….she shook her head and figured it was just the familiarity of her own reflection. "Do you think its weird that we look so alike?" Beth suddenly had to ask her.

Jo opened her mouth to give her some sort of answer, but then she decided it was time to give Beth the true answer. "Sweetheart, sit down." she said as she led Beth to bench behind them. As they settled down she could see that Beth was clearly wondering what was going on, so, she decided to cut right to the chase.

"When I was about your age, I was a lot like you. I lived in this real tiny little apartment, I was working two jobs just to pay the pills, like you are now. Then one day this guy came into the place where I was working and we got chatting and he asked me out. I fell in love with him straight away." Jo said, remembering back to the time when she had been so naive.

"We had been dating for a couple of months when I found out I was pregnant. He wanted me to terminate the pregnancy and when I refused he beat me, told me I was nothing to him, just a bit on the side…turns out he was married." Jo said, feeling slightly ashamed.

"What an asshole." Beth said sympathetically. "So was the baby okay?" she asked.

Jo nodded, "Yeah, thankfully, but I knew I couldn't ask him for money to help towards the baby's needs and one of the places I was working at closed down and I began falling behind on my rent. I knew that I had nothing to offer a baby. I wouldn't have been able to afford to feed it or buy it clothes or anything else it needed." she said, tears in her eyes.

Beth looked at her, wondering why Jo was telling her this. Part of her told her to ask the questions that was screaming at her in her head, "So…what did you do with the baby?"

"I gave her up for adoption." Jo said, her tears beginning to fall.

Beth suddenly felt a cold chill down her spine, she looked Jo square in the eyes, her heart pounding. She asked, "W-w-why are you telling me this?"

The words seemed to get stuck in Jo's throat but finally she said, "Sweetheart that baby was you. You're my daughter." she told her.

Beth looked at her, eyes wide open, her bottom lip trembling. Tears built so quick in her eyes that it made her gasp when she felt them rolling down her cheeks. "What?" was all she could say.

"Beth, I'm your Mother."

Beth shook her head and pushed herself up off the bench. Jo had to run to catch up to her. "Where are you going, Beth, sweetheart, talk to me?" she said grabbing Beth's arm to stop her.

Beth snatched her arm from Jo's grasp and turned to face her. "How long have you known?" she asked.

"Beth, what does it matter…?"

"It matters to me! How long?" she said as her tears continued to fall.

"Since the night of the shooting."

Beth turned and began walking away, feeling slightly nauseous. Once more Jo grabbed her arm and Beth turned to face her, pulling her arm free. "You've know all this time and you didn't even think to tell me?"

"I didn't know how to!" Jo told her as the first few drops of rain began to slowly fall.

"It's easy, you say, 'Beth, I'm your mother the one who abandoned you when you were born.'" she yelled angrily at Jo.

"I had no choice. I thought I was giving you a shot at a better life…"

"You self-righteous bitch!" Beth said as she glared at her.

"Beth…"Jo began, tears almost choking her.

"So is that the only reason you've taken such an interest in my case, because you feel guilty, or sorry for me because of the shit I got stuck with because of you? Well guess what? I don't need you pity and I certainly don't need you, never have, never will!" Beth yelled angrily at her before she turned her back on her again.

She had only taken a few steps when Jo grabbed her arm again. Beth spun round, ripping her arm out of her grasp only to use it slap Jo hard across the face. She hit her so hard that Jo stumbled sideways into the railing to the side of her. Beth gasped had struggled to hold back sobs when she realised what she had done. She badly wanted to apologise to her and went to take a step towards Jo to do so, but she stopped herself, she was still too angry.

All she could do was take slow steps backwards and say, "You get to live with the guilt if something happens to me now, and all because you screwed up….again." she said as her tears began to fall, seeping in with the rain that had splashed on her face; the rain that began to pour down around them, angrily pounding the ground and soaking both Jo and Beth through to the bone.

Jo could only stay by the fence, holding onto it with one hand out of fear her trembling legs would give way beneath her. Her other hand rested of her stinging cheek. As she watched Beth walk away her own tears began to fall beyond her control.

TBC

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