My sincere apologizes for the long wait. It's the holidays so it's maddness around here. A lot going on and it took a lot out of me to write this so I hope you enjoy. It's short but sweet. Thanks for your patience :)

Purps- Yes, you got me, I was trying to make you cry. Sorry ;)

browneyez44- I am glad you enjoy my "dj" . I take my time and try to find the perfect song and I have a very large selection on my I-pod so sometimes it takes a while. I just want it to seem very realistic, that Ashley is indeed writing the songs. Thanks for noticing :)

..- Do you know how hard it is to write your name without spaces? LOL. Thanks. Glad you enjoyed.

noodles307- haha. You made me hungry talking about butter pecan ice cream, which just happens to be my fave. We can share a tub, a very large one :) Sorry for making you tear up again..maybe ;) Thanks for the hug *big hugs back*.

Ade77- Lol. I do like Italian food but Mexican is my fave.

toni- My apologizes for upsetting you. That was truly not my intention. However, the story is not done so please let me tell it. I understand perfectly why it upset you and you have every right to be angry. Ashley did make a stupid decision, which she quickly realized was stupid. I hope you are feeling better now.

lesbefriends- So glad I could send you on that emotional roller coaster ;)

ConnieLaxer12- Haha. Thanks and thanks for reviewing :)

I'm Burnin' Up For You Baby- Well thank you. Hope you enjoy another chapter in your bathtub..or not :)

Godlove- Thank you and thanks for the review.

Rachel2020- Well if you in need of a few more crying fits, you're reading the right story. lol Sorry. And you so don't need to be embarrassed, that reaction is completely normal and you aren't the only one..Hehe :) and sorry, I don't mean to tear your heart open..or maybe I do. :)

Ms. Mona- Thanks so much and thank you for reviewing. I really do appreciate it :)

Coachkimm- No, I want you to go back and review every chapter ;) Lol. One review is more than enough and I really do appreciate it. Ahhh someone who got the finger cot comment. LOL. THANK YOU. Please feel free to *happy dance* away :)

Hotcutii3- Thanks so much and thank you for reviewing.

SexyThang- Uh, thanks. lol :)

This chapter is dedicated to momo0424 & hollymarie4- Thanks for being loyal readers and reviewers. :)

I own nothing but my imagination. Miranda, Alyssa and Gram are mine as well.

The next week went by good; well as good as it can go. The three of us spent nearly every second Alyssa was awake together. We tried to get her outside as much as possible. It was summer in L.A. so most of the time we would wait until the night.

I sat down next to her on the cushioned patio bench, pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them.

"I wish I co-uld see the st-ars in the sky back home." Alyssa said looking up at the sky.

"Nearly every n-ight you could see thous-ands of them."

She was almost out of breath.

It took a lot out of her to speak.

If you tried to stop her she would get angry.

"I can st-ill talk so I am going to ta-lk as much as I want." She would yell at us.

If there was a way I could take her back home I would do it. I would do literally everything I possibly could to make her happy with the little time she had.

The chilly night air felt amazing and didn't affect me at all. I was wearing Spencer's U of M hoodie. Yep, she packed it with Miranda's things. She said if she couldn't be here to wrap her arms around me then she hoped the sweatshirt would do. I could smell her on every inch of it and it was a definite comfort.

"Are you getting cold? Do you need a blanket?"

"No." She replied still looking up at the sky.

"You're shivering Lyss." I had given her the nickname during the week. She loved it.

"I know."

"You want me to get a jacket for you?" She was noticeably shaking.

"No Ash. I wa-nt to feel the cool breeze on my a-rms. I want to feel the shi-vers run down my s-pine. I need to feel th-ese things. I need to feel things that ma-ke me feel like I'm still alive."

I pulled her face towards me by her chin and looked into her eyes.

"You are still alive Lyss and I want you to stay that way for as long as possible..I am going to get you a jacket."

"Fi-ne." She pouted like a child.

I went in the house to get a jacket and noticed Miranda on the couch talking on the phone. She was talking to Chris again. It couldn't have been easy on them with her being gone all of this time. She looked a little sad and sighed as she hung up the phone.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah. I just really want to see him." She looked down.

"Go see him. He only lives an hour and a half away. Go spend the day with him tomorrow."

She lifted her head and smiled.

"I actually already made plans to do that this weekend. We're going to spend the weekend together."

"Uh what?" Over my dead body.

"No, not like that. I am going to go home and he's going to pick me up Saturday and drop me off at night. Then I am going to meet him somewhere on Sunday."

I gave her a suspicious look and she laughed.

"I promise MOM, we're just going to hang out."

"You better not do anything stupid or Spence will kill me."

I grabbed Alyssa's jacket and also a blanket, and then headed back outside.

After I helped her into her jacket I draped the blanket over her legs and sat back down next to her.

She was still looking up at the sky and I was getting a little worried.

"You okay?" I asked while rubbing her arm.

"Just hav-ing one of those days."

"One of what days?"

"One of th-ose days where I start feel-ing sorry for myself. I can't help but look up to the s-ky for answers."

She finally looked down from the sky and towards me.

"Do you ever find any?"

"No." Is all she said then she looked back up at the sky.

"I'm scared Ash." She admitted in a low and hoarse voice.

I swallowed the enormous lump in my throat and quickly wiped the tear that escaped my eye.

I knew there were no words that I could say.

Tears started falling from her eyes and I sat there motionless.

Even if there were words to say, I didn't know what they were.

The only thing I could think to do was hold her hand. So I did.

"What can I do Lyss?" I asked doing my best to keep the rest of my tears from spilling.

She squeezed my hand with all of the energy she could muster up.

"You're doing it."

I wiped the tears from her face and pulled her into my arms. We sat there looking up at the dark California sky together. Both asking questions. Both not getting the answers we wanted.

The next few weeks went by very slowly. Alyssa was getting worse right before my eyes. She worked with a speech-language pathologist to help her with her communicating. We made 5x7 cards with pictures and words on them. When it had gotten to the point where she couldn't speak at all she could let us know what she wanted by pointing at pictures. And since it had become almost impossible and inscruciating to swallow, a doctor had come in and inserted a feeding tube. To make matters worse he was coming back in a couple days to hook her up to a breathing machine.

Through all of this she remained strong.

I wish I could say the same of myself. I called Spencer probably 5 times a day. Most of the time just needing to hear her voice. Her voice was so comforting. All she would have to say is my name and I was instantly relaxed.

Gram was doing much better and they had finally talked her into moving in with the family. Of course she had her own stipulations… "Just keep that trifling, no good, witch of a wife anyway from me and I'll be happier than a hooker in a 5-star hotel." Gotta love Gram.

So Gram was doing better and had the Carlins to look after her and that meant that Spencer could finally come home. Oh how I have missed her. And as much as I love her U of M hoodie, I wanted so badly to feel her arms around me.

It was the 4th of July and Miranda and I were setting up for a small celebration that Alyssa had insisted on. She couldn't wait to see the fireworks and it saddened me because we both knew they would be the last she would see.

I wanted this celebration to be perfect of course. Dad was coming home and he had offered to cook for us. He was so excited. Imagine that, big shot, hard ass, rock star excited about coming home to cook. I grinned to myself thinking of how my dad was secretly great at being domesticated.

It was nearly noon and my dad would be arriving very shortly. I walked into Alyssa's room just as she was wakening.

"Hey, do you want to go outside?" I asked sitting on the side of her bed.

"Sure."

I got up off the bed to retrieve the wheelchair when she placed her arm on my thigh.

"Wa-it."

"Is everything okay?" Stupid question.

"I want-ed to talk to you about someth-ing." Her voice was nearly a whisper.

"Okay."

She didn't say anything though. She just pointed over at her I-pad. I gave her a confusing look.

"Re-ad."

I grabbed it and touched the screen. There was an old article on it from Your Music Magazine; it was a site all about California's music scene.

L.A.'s own Maria Sanford will be touring with Colbie Caillat in a 3 month, 32 city summer tour. Sanford took the place originally slated for Rock Legend Raife Davies' daughter Ashley Davies….

I looked over at Alyssa and she had her eye brows raised in question.

"What happ-ened?"

"Nothing happened. I just changed my mine. I'm not ready for that just yet."

"Did you not go be-cause of me?" Sadness was evident in her eyes.

"No, I mean yes..and no. Look like I said, I'm not ready. And honestly yes, you are another reason I didn't go. I'm not leaving you Lyss."

She turned her head at my words. I heard her getting choked up.

"Lyss, look at me."

Slowly she turned her face back to me. A single tear trickled down her cheek onto her shirt.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Her hand found my cheek and she caressed it softly.

"Thank y-ou."

I smiled and leaned in to kiss her forehead.

Dad showed up around 2 with about 20 grocery bags. Not kidding. After lifting me off the ground and nearly squeezing the life out of me, I introduced him to Alyssa and her mother. He talked with Alyssa for a little over a half an hour. I loved how he made her smile and laugh just being his usual goofy self. After that he got started on the cooking, chatting it up with Ms. Cooper as she helped him.

Chris showed up just before dinner and I shook my head and grinned at how cute Miranda and him were together. Don't get me wrong now…I'll still kill the kid if he hurts her.

We all sat down and enjoyed the delicious spread of every barbequed meat you could possibly imagine, potato salad, baked beans, grilled potatoes, and corn on the cob.

I felt bad that Alyssa couldn't share in the amazing meal but if she was upset about it she never showed it. She talked and laughed and smiled along with the rest of us.

After dinner was all cleaned up we all headed down to the beach. I tilted my head in awe as my dad carried Alyssa and sat her down gently on a blanket. He sat down on a blanket next to her and Ms. Cooper sat between the two of them. Hmmm, is it just me or do the two of them look really comfortable together? Huh… anyway.

We were just in time. The fireworks started and I wondered why I had never watched them from the beach before. It was an absolute, breathtakingly beautiful sight. I stood in awe as the bright colors lit up and danced across the sky. But the best sight to see was the smile spread across Alyssa's face. That sight alone was more beautiful than I had words for.

The day had turned out to be a good day. No matter what the next few weeks/months, hopefully months had in store for her; at least she had this day. A day with family and friends and laughter. A day of no worries, just fun. I had hoped that, that was what we had given her.

As I stood there watching the light show in the sky I felt a pair of warm arms wrap around my waist. I took in the familiar scent of the gorgeous blonde I was so madly in love with.

"Miss me baby?" Was whispered into my ear.

This great day had just gotten even better.

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