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The water was heading into tepid territory when Cal got to his feet, turned off the shower and gently pulled her up with him.

"You need to dry off and change Gill." His voice was a gentle murmur as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll gather some blankets and make some tea."

She nodded mutely but didn't leave the circle of his arms.

"C'mon luv." He reached behind them, grabbed one of her big, fluffy towels and wrapped it around her. "I'll see you in a minute. I'm not going anywhere."

One hand reached out and clutched his shirt before gradually loosening and attempting to smooth the wet fabric. She nodded again, looked up briefly into his face and turned to grab her pajamas off the counter.

He slipped out before she began to change and stood in the hallway. First things first. He needed some dry clothes. Gooseflesh rose against his skin as the chill from outside reconnected with him. He thought he might have left a couple articles of clothing in her guest room when he'd stayed with her several months back and wandered that way to check. Luckily, he found some pajama bottoms, but unfortunately that was it. With a sigh, he quickly stripped out of his wet clothes and pulled on the warm flannel. He immediately felt a little bit better but hoped that Gill might have a t-shirt or sweatshirt he could borrow. In the meantime, he went to her linen closet and pulled several extra blankets out before heading back up the hall. He tossed them on the couch before walking into the kitchen to put up some water for tea. It didn't even strike him as odd that he knew where she kept most everything. That was just the way it had been for years. Worry creased his features and gnawed at his insides. He wasn't really sure what to do for her, other than what he was doing. Maybe contacting one of her colleagues within the psych community would be a good idea. Gillian desperately needed someone to help her through this and he didn't think he was going to be enough.

"Cal?"

"Yeah luv. I'm here." He stepped out from the kitchen and his heart started to break all over again.

Gillian's face was wan with dark shadows below glassy eyes. Her hair had been hastily dried and pulled back in a loose ponytail. She wore her pajamas but she'd thrown a robe on as well. Her gaze flicked across him, dropped to his bare chest and jumped up again to his face. "Aren't you cold?"

"A little." He admitted. "Was hoping you had a t-shirt or somethin'."

"Bottom drawer. Big tees that I sleep in sometimes."

Cal gave her a tiny smile. "Tea'll be ready in a couple of minutes." He started to step past her before stopping. His gaze was tender as he met her eyes. "I pulled out a few blankets if you're still cold."

"Thank you." He grazed her cheek with his fingers before heading back up the hall once again. She watched after him, the ache inside somehow amplified. He'd come to her from the hospital in the middle of the night. Normally she would have questioned this, probably even been upset with him for sneaking out but she didn't feel much of anything now. Some part of Cal had known she needed him and he came to her like he'd heard a siren call. So why did she still feel so hollow?

He paused at the entry of her bedroom. This was the one room he'd never set foot in. Polished Cherry wood furniture, the comforter on the bed was a soft mauve, a comfy looking armchair sat in one corner, a few plants decorated the windowsill and several photos graced her dresser. Family, friends, and the two of them. He stared at the photo. It was a candid one taken several months earlier. They had been looking at one another, completely oblivious to the camera. Probably Emily's doing. Something seemed to stick in his throat as his eyes roamed over their respective faces. So much going on there.

God, everything was so fucked up. He had no idea where to go from here.

He didn't even hear her as Gillian stepped behind him, only feeling soft hands resting on either side of his ribcage. The touch of her lips against his upper back had his eyes closing, as tension hardened all the wiry muscles under his flesh. Her hands moved around him, palms now flat against his stomach and chest. Her mouth was warm against his skin as she gently kissed the side of his neck, her tongue trailing ever so slightly.

Pain, fear, love and temptation washed over him violently as his heart began to hammer and his body trembled. He suddenly couldn't catch his breath as his eyes flew back open.

No, no, no… this should not be happening.

He felt paralyzed as her soft lips continued to press against him and her fingers trailed across his midsection.

So warm. He felt so good, so warm. His skin was smooth and hairless and her hands longed to explore further. She could feel his ribs under a thin layer of muscle before traipsing across his flat bellyand discovering a thin line of hair leading down from his navel. How close could she get to him? How close would he allow? After all, he had no clue of his admission. She got to suffer alone.

Her slender fingertips catching at the elastic of his pajama bottoms had him turning into her. Breathing hard, he knew his eyes were dark but it took everything in him not to capture her face in his hands and meld his lips with hers. Cal just stared at her instead, knowing she could see his agony.

Tilting her head, she watched him for a moment before her hands moved up to his face. She angled it down toward her and brushed her lips across the bruises around his left eye, making sure to touch them to his eyelid as well. Gill trailed them across his stubble, feeling him tremble under her hands.

"Gillian." His voice even shook.

She met his eyes again, seeing how they beseeched her. Please don't do this. His hands had found her waist but she noticed that they didn't roam beyond.

"I need you close Cal."

"I'm here darlin'."

Pressing up against him she watched as his eyes closed. "Not close enough. I want to be warm. Please."

Something in his face seemed to break as he moved his hands to her upper arms. He shifted her away from him even as her expression implored him not to. "This isn't what you need right now."

Eyes burning, she shook her head. "You…don't understand Cal."

His hands cupped her face and his eyes connected with hers in that intense way of his. "I do luv. What happened to us…what happened to you…won't be easy to come back from. That son of a bitch stole something from you today and as much as I'd like to think otherwise, it's probably gone for good. But you can get beyond it. You're so strong Gill, you don't even realize how much. You've always been my rock, my touchstone." He gave a tiny smile. "You're the only one who can keep me in line after all. Just know that I will be here as long as you need me. I'm not going anywhere."

She felt like her body was going to puddle onto her bedroom floor and the only thing that was keeping her upright was the strength of his gaze. "Promise?" Her voice seemed so tiny.

"Promise." He released her face and once again pulled her into his arms. She let out a shaky sigh as she relaxed against him.