Hmmm…did I crash and burn during that last chapter?

Cal awoke sweating and confused in the early morning light. The heat was stifling and as he went to push himself out from under a mountain of blankets, he heard a tiny little whimper from the figure curled against his side.

He frowned before realization flashed through him. He was in Gillian's bed.

In. Her. Bed.

Horror temporarily had him cold. He wasn't wearing a shirt. Please let him have pants on.

Shifting ever so slightly, he was careful not to wake her.

Thank God. Pajamas.

Memories were slow coming. He briefly wondered why that was. Was he purposely trying not to remember? Maybe they did have sex. The horror was back and relentless. He would never take advantage of any woman, let alone Gillian.

Wait a minute.

His breath gushed out as his sleepy mind sharpened. Relief flooded through him before seeping into his bones.

They hadn't slept together. Well, actually they had but not in that way. In her distraught state, she'd come on to him but for once he was thinking with his big head. He'd rebuffed her advances, countered with comfort, tea and more comfort. That's why he was currently in her bed.

Gillian would probably be embarrassed when she awoke. Normally it would be a ripe opportunity for teasing but not now. She was suffering and he wanted to do whatever he could to make it right.

Starting with breakfast.

Slipping gently out from under her hand, he padded out into the hall and toward the kitchen.

(BREAK)

Gillian gave a deep sigh and stretched before becoming aware of all the comforters stacked upon her, in addition to her warm pajamas and robe. She felt like she was in a sweatbox and didn't initially comprehend the reasoning behind it.

When she did, the nausea came quick and she found herself stumbling out of bed, into her bathroom and onto her knees. It appeared she hadn't eaten much, which was both fortunate and unfortunate. Fortunate that there wasn't much to come up, unfortunate in regard to the fact that her body wanted to force something, anything, up.

She was finally done. At least she hoped so. Sitting down on the tile, she leaned her head against the cool porcelain of the toilet. Somewhere in the back on her mind she was thankful that she'd cleaned it recently.

Gradually she became aware of the smell of bacon. Her stomach wasn't sure how to handle it. There were hunger pangs shooting through but the nausea was also at ready.

Who the hell was cooking bacon?

As soon as the thought surfaced, she felt her face flame. Cal. He had come to her last night and she…oh crap. She'd just added to her own personal hell by trying to…

Her stomach heaved once more but again, she had nothing to show for it. Cold sweat broke out on her face and she shivered despite the warm of the house.

She was going to have to go face him. It wasn't like he was going anywhere. This was Cal after all.

There was something else too. Something that needed to be done.

Her mind grappled for several moments.

Oh.

Police station. She had to go make her statement. Tell them all the events leading up to and beyond the stabbing of Finn Bainbridge.

Her stomach clenched again. She was fairly certain at this rate she would never be leaving her bathroom.

That may not be such a bad thing.

His footsteps were absorbed by the thick bedroom carpet but she could sense his presence. Leaning her head against the arm propped against the edge of the toilet, she didn't look up. Couldn't bear to see his expression.

"Please go away Cal." Her voice was scratchy and raw.

Gillian heard the movement of fabric as he crouched down next to her. He was very close. She could almost smell his skin, which naturally brought another wave of shame.

One hand was gentle on her arm. "You know that's not gonna happen." It was a low murmur.

"Please."

He didn't respond. Nor did he leave. His hand dropped from her arm and she listened as he shifted and sat down on the tile next to her.

They were quiet for some time.

"You can't just sit in my bathroom with me all day." She felt so awful but at the same time his actions warmed and amused her. It was a weird mix.

"Watch me."

With much effort, she finally lifted her head and regarded him.

He was still only in a pair of pajama bottoms, having never bothered to find a shirt. Gill consciously kept her eyes from sweeping across his chest. It was hard.

"Took the liberty of tossin' my clothes in the dryer." Suddenly self-conscious, he regretted not snagging a t-shirt. "Should be done shortly."

"That's fine." Her eyes seemed to focus beyond him, careful not to meet his eyes.

"Gillian…"

A tiny headshake was his answer as her lips disappeared into a thin line. Her eyes threatened tears once again and she impatiently wiped at them.

"No. Listen." His hand found her face, thumb brushing near the corner of her mouth. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. You did what you needed to do, nothing more, nothing less."

She shook her head again, not able to speak. He wasn't talking about her attempted seduction thank God. But she didn't really want him to talk about Bainbridge either. A sudden thought occurred to her.

"Have…have you heard anything?" Her blue eyes brushed his hazel ones briefly.

"Still alive luv. In ICU." Barely alive, that is. If Bainbridge did die, they'd walk into that emotional mind field together. Otherwise it wasn't worth bringing up.

"I have to give my statement today."

"Yeah, same here. They were supposed to come by this mornin' but…" He shrugged. "The patient went AWOL."

"You shouldn't have done that."

He grunted, his hand still on her face before allowing it to trail down to her neck and shoulder. It landed back in his lap. "I'm okay…besides…you needed me." His voice had gone quiet again as his eyes sought hers. He wanted to tell her about the memory but wasn't sure if it was the time and place…if there ever was a time and place.

Wasn't she upset enough without the extra baggage? But then again, if her actions from last night were anything to go by, she wanted to be with him. Of course she wasn't completely in her right mind either. God damnit.

"I guess you're not in the mood for breakfast, yeah? Or are you done with your case of the barfies?" He smiled at her, attempting to tease.

A loud growl emanated from her stomach and she quickly rested her hand against it, embarrassed.

"Well, that was timin'." He clambered to his feet and held out a hand to her. "Maybe just some eggs would be best. Get some protein in you."

She allowed him to help her up and soon found herself in close proximity. This time, she could smell his skin, along with the faint smell of deodorant. The memory of her actions from the night before caused her to flush once again and close her eyes. When she opened them, she found his expression warm and loving. No judgment to be found. Her heart began to swell but she did her best to damp it down. She had no idea how much she loved him until the words had left her lips and it wasn't like she could put it all back inside. Of course she may as well considering he didn't remember anything about it anyway.

Cal watched as emotions rolled in waves across her face and couldn't help but believe he was at the epicenter. They desperately needed to talk but not now. She had too many other things to work through first.

"Maybe you want to…" His finger spiraled around her face before pointing to the sink. "And I'll plate you up some food. 'Kay luv?"

"Alright." The word sounded hollow again and Cal winced. He stood next to her, feeling slightly awkward for a moment before taking a step and pulling her against him. Her arms automatically wrapped around his back and a low sob escaped. Cal tightened the hug as his lips pushed against the side of her head. Maybe he should tell her. But if it proved to be detrimental, he'd never forgive himself. He wanted her, loved her so damned much but the fear of hurting her bordered on terror. God. He honestly had no idea what to do.