I would just like to thank everyone who read and especially the ones who took the time to review. Your responses truly did touch my heart. So THANK YOU.
taymm15- Well thank you and as a writer that is exactly what I want to hear. I appreciate it.
Chimera452Bast- Well I appreciate you reading the story and so sorry to hear about your friend. I was very difficult to write this, it took me quite some time. It had to be done though and I am glad I can put some knowledge of this disease out there. Thank you again.
Lesbefriends- Your wish is my command :)
Ade77- Sooo happy that you didn't stop reading. :)
NNN- Thank you for chapter 30 :)
latenightbeautiful- I really don't try to 'toy' with peoples emotions. lol. I just write from the heart and my crazy imagination. And thank you..I feel that way about a few ff's myself.
Scars- Thank you so much, especially for that last part.
SoNfan110- I know how much it sucks to get attached to a character and for them to be taken away somehow and for that I am sorry. Thanks for the review.
luvmeh8meucan'tchangeme- ALS is a very scary disease in the fact that it affects the body so fast and there isn't a cure. I hope you got good news with your...
Cobrastryke- Thank you and thank you :)
To the Stars and Moon Above- I am sorry for making you cry so much and I am happy that you gave this story a chance. Thanks for that :)
Naomi- Sorry that you got so attached to Alyssa and then I took her away. It really did have to be done. Thank you and thanks for reviewing.
blueeyes06- Well sadly I have been through the experience myself so I know every emotion very well. I am sorry to hear about your loss, I know it has to be hard to read something like this considering how hard it was to write. Thank you for the review.
FFReviews- Thank you and I truly do believe that too. And thank you for being a life saver. You truly don't know how happy that made me..and relieved.
Supernaye- Thank you so much :)
TorontoHoney- Don't thank me , thank the two readers who sent it to me. I am glad you got a chance to read it..It was a very important chapter.
Toni- I am especially happy that you thought so and I truly do know what you mean.
hollymarie4- I'm so sorry hun. Thanks for still reviewing though...you really didn't have to but thanks.
Normorn- You're welcome but it would have never happened if it weren't for the readers who sent me the chapter. And I will do my best to keep writing on here. It is a huge comittment. Thank you for your words.
Kitty Murking- Haha..I love Marianas Trench and thank you so much for thinking of this story as epic..wow..means a lot.
Lizzy- I would never consider anyone selfish for not reviewing. So no worries. I do appreciate the reviews though very much. And reviews like yours are such an inspiration. Thank you so much for your words.
Thanks also to my good friends who inspire me daily and get on me about updating. :)
As I am sure you know by now..I own nothing but my imagination. Miranda, Gram and Alyssa are mine as well.
2 Months Later
The weeks following Alyssa's death went fast. I went home after her funeral but returned to the beach house within a few days. I needed to be at the beach house. I couldn't leave Ms. Cooper, she was devastated and having a very difficult time.
As was I.
Spencer of course was amazing and always found the right things to say and do. She and Miranda would come up on the weekends and the moment I caught sight of her an instant calm would wash over me. Our nights together were almost always passionate and intense. She always made me forget and only think of her. I needed that. I needed her, in every way imaginable. And she was always everything I needed her to be.
Miranda had also been just what I had needed. My best friend. Always making me laugh by just being her normal goofy self.
Every Sunday when they left to go home a part of me wanted to go with them.
But I couldn't.
Ms. Cooper barely left Alyssa's room and when she did I would find her out on the beach staring up at the sky. I too would find myself constantly looking up at the sky, especially those nights where the stars were so visible. I would also find myself talking to Alyssa. Although nights like that often brought a smile to my face; I would almost always cry myself to sleep.
My dad left to finally finish his last tour. Luckily he had loyal fans. He would call every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times to talk to me and Ms. Cooper. I wished he could be here for her right now, I know he did too.
During the last 2 months I had thrown myself into writing. I had so many emotions in me just begging to be let out and practically jumping onto the paper. At the end of October I got a call from my dad's new manager telling me about a new tour opportunity. It must have been fate, at least that is the way I saw it. The act I would be opening for was none other than Paramore. I wanted to say yes as soon as he told me, but past experiences told me I had to talk to Spencer about it first. Hey, I was still learning. The tour started in early December and would run all the way into June. Six months. Six months away from Spencer. Six months of non-stop performing. Six months of traveling. I wasn't so sure I could handle that but I had to. For me and for Alyssa.
It was mid-November and I was on my way to L.A. to surprise Spencer. When I arrived she was still at the University so I headed up there. When I got to the campus I was so lost. Wow. It took me nearly a half hour to find her class. She was finishing up her last class of the day. I stood partially in the door way so that she wouldn't see me. Seeing her like this made me miss her being my teacher. She had so much passion and knowledge of literature and she made her students want to learn more and actually participate. Just look at me, I missed the first 5 months of her class and still ended with a B. And I know what you are thinking but you are wrong. I earned that B.
My eyes were still attached to her, taking in her beauty. Her knee length beige skirt showed off her lean and delicious legs. She began to wear skirts more often after I told her how much I loved them on her. She was wearing a light blue blouse with just enough cleavage to make me drool at just the little peak she was giving. Her hair was up in a ponytail with the tail full of light curls. The signature black glasses perched on top of her head.
I could never get tired of looking at this woman. Luckily I could look at her anytime I wanted. And have her any way that I wanted.
My dirty thoughts were interrupted when I was nearly trampled at the door by her students leaving the classroom. I must have looked like a pervert just standing there staring at her. Oh well.
After the room cleared out I made my way in. She was facing the windows when I entered.
"Well I got a good look at all of your students and luckily for me there aren't any hot, young, sexy brunettes among them."
She whipped around with the biggest smile planted on her face.
"Luckily for you, there is only one hot, young, sexy brunette I'm interested in."
I walked up to her and pulled her into a hug.
"God I miss you." I held on tight to her. Her scent and the warmth of her body kept me from pulling away.
"I miss you too baby. What are you doing here?" She pulled back and took my hands in hers.
"I came to take my incredibly stunning and.." I paused to give her a once over and then unconsciously licked my lips. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. " too sexy for words girlfriend out to dinner for her birthday."
That earned me another ear to ear Spencer Carlin smile and a bone crushing hug.
"You remembered. Awe thanks baby."
"Of course I remembered. I remember everything you tell me Spence. Every word."
I reached my hand up to caress her cheek when she moved abruptly.
"Hey Spence, are we still on for tonight?" Came a familiar voice from behind me.
I turned around and faced the voice that belonged to none other than.. Stacey?
"Ashley?..Hi." She looked rather shocked.
"Hi…Stacey?" She chuckled and nodded.
"Yes, it's Stacey. My sister is Sandy." Oh good. I hate getting names wrong. Especially since I knew that she was a friend of Spencer's. Speaking of Spencer, she still hadn't said anything.
Stacey looked a bit confused. Probably a mixture of me being there and Spencer's sudden loss for words.
"Uh, I was thinking of taking some classes here and just needed some advice .."
"It's okay Ashley." Spencer interrupted me. She placed her arm around my lower back.
"Stacey ..Ashley is..my girlfriend." Consider me shocked. I can't believe she told her.
Consider Stacey shocked as well.
"WOW,wow. Really? Wait, I kind of had a feeling. Wow. Really?"
Spencer and I both laughed.
"Really Stace. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Wait, you said you had a feeling? What kind of feeling?"
"Well there was some kind of hidden, unspoken..thing going on with you two at Ashley's performance I came to."
And here I thought we were being inconspicuous.
"Actually we just became official over the summer." I don't know why I lied but I had a feeling Spencer didn't want her colleague and friend to think badly of her.
I turned around and gave her a smile and she gave me her own smile back saying 'thank you'.
"Well you two must have been totally crushing on each other then." She put her hand on her hip and smirked at the two of us.
"Yeah, we definitely were." I say still looking at Spencer who started blushing.
"Wow Spencer, that's a nice shade on you." Stacey joked.
"Well I am happy for you two. Even though I had no clue that Spence here was into girls." She said followed by a confused look.
"Neither did I Stace. It was quite the surprise. A nice surprise." She said the last part quietly while locking eyes with me.
"You two are adorable. You know I knew Spence was seeing someone. She walked around here constantly smiling, especially after she got off the phone..with you I am guessing."
Spencer blushed again, turned around and walked to her desk. She put some papers in her bag and walked back to us.
"Can we get out of here before I get any more embarrassed?" She grabbed my hand.
"So I take it plans are changing for tonight then?" Stacey asked.
"No. No. Don't change your plans. If it's okay I will just join you guys." I wanted Spencer to myself but I could wait until after.
"If that's what you want you are very welcome to join us. Spence?"
"Of course. I would like nothing more than to spend my birthday with my friends and ..my girlfriend." She squeezed my hand tighter.
I walked her out to her car and then took off to take care of some things. They were meeting at Pure around 8 o'clock. Spence was going to meet me there at 6. I had a special dinner planned for her. When I got to the club I was greeted by Johnny and Mark. After an awkward hug from Johnny and a literally breath taking one from Mark I sat down and explained to them what I wanted to do for Spencer. They were happy to help.
Spencer showed up around a little after 6. The look on her face when she walked in was pure surprise and happiness. The look on my face when I saw what she was wearing…what's that word again? Slack-jawed? Yeah, understatement. She was wearing tight, light blue jeans with a black corset top. Her hair was up and she wore long diamond earrings. She looked so damn sexy, more than usual. The entire club was dark except for some candles that lit up the stage and a table in the middle of the dance floor. She was ordered by our waiter for the night to sit down at the table. Mark looked so funny in his tux. Like a giant penguin. Somehow I held in my laughter from the side of the stage. He poured her a glass of wine and then left. She took a few sips and then looked around anxiously.
I finally walked onto the stage and sat down at the piano. She spotted me right away and smiled adoringly.
"There you are." She said her soft, sexy voice.
"Here I am."
"What are you doing up there?"
"It's part of your birthday present. I wrote a song for you about a month ago. A song..that means a lot to me and I only want you to hear it. I love you so much Spence. Happy birthday."
I took a sip from my water bottle, set it down next to me and cleared my throat.
"Oh and by the way. You look so…" I tried to find a word that would describe her tonight but there wasn't one. "You look.." I shook my head. She laughed.
"Thank you baby. You look incredible too." She tilted her head and gave me that smile that was only reserved for me.
"Thanks." I replied with a slight blush and she laughed again.
I looked back at the piano and my fingers started moving over the keys, my girlfriend watching my every move with such admiration.
I let go.
I've waited a hundred years,
But I'd wait a million more..for you,
Nothing prepared me for,
What the privilege of being yours.. would do.
If I had only felt the warmth within your touch,
If I had only seen how you smile when you blush,
Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough,
Well I would have known,
What I was living for.. all along,
What I've been living for.
Your love is my turning page,
Where only the sweetest words ..remain,
Every kiss is a cursive line,
Every touch is a redefining.. phrase,
I surrender who I've been for who you are,
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart,
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,
Well I would have known,
What I've been living for.. all along,
What I've been living for.
Though we're tethered, to the story we must tell,
When I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well,
With the whisper, we will tame the vicious scenes,
Like a feather, bringing kingdoms to their knees.
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,
Well I would have known,
What I've been living for.. all along,
What I've been living for.
I had gotten so lost in the song I didn't look at her until I hit the last key on the piano. When I finally looked down at her I noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. I jumped off the stage and kneeled down in front of her. I cradled her face and smoothed away her tears with my thumbs before leaning in to kiss her softly. Like every kissed I shared with her there was so much passion. Even in the little pecks there was a great amount of intensity. I pulled away and she wiped away the tears that were lying on my own face. I hadn't even realized they were there until then.
"That was so beautiful Ash."
"I love you. Forever Spence, that's what I want with you. No matter what happens in the future …I know we can handle it. Together. Thank you. Thank you for loving me and being exactly what I needed these last couple months. I know it hasn't been easy."
"Shhhh Ash. You don't have to thank me. I love you and I want nothing more than to be there when you need me. Because where you are …is always where I want to be. And you're right, it hasn't been easy. But like you said, we can handle anything as long as we do it together." She leaned in and kissed me, the kiss was soft but she deepened it quickly. I stood up and sat down on top of her, straddling her in the chair. She moaned right away and her hands found the back of my thighs pulling me closer. My lips left hers and latched on to her neck. My God she tasted so good.
"Ash I want you so badly." She groaned into the air. I lowered my hand slowly and cupped her through her tight jeans. She gasped and her hands that were in my hair pulled hard.
"Ahem." What the hell?
"Ahem. Ashley?" I'm going to kill someone.
I looked up to see a nervous Mark.
"Dinner is here and you should really get…get started on it. The club is going to open in an hour."
I sighed and looked down at Spence who once again looked embarrassed.
"Okay. Just give us 5 minutes and then bring it out."
He nodded and then walked back to the kitchen.
"Sorry Baby. You're just gonna have to wait til later for a piece of this." I wiggled my eye brows and she laughed and pinched my sides.
"I guess I will have to wait then. But I am sure it will be totally worth it."
"Of course. Only the best for my baby on her birthday." She bit her lip and I couldn't help but lean down and kiss her again. Forget about Mark; forget about dinner, I wanted her.
Just as my tongue entered her mouth again she pushed me back.
"Sorry baby. You're just going to have to wait until later for a piece of this." She smirked and I pouted.
"I just sang you that beautiful song. Can't I at least get a little piece?"
She shook her head and pursed her lips.
"I am starving." It was her turn to pout.
I climbed off of her and took my own seat.
"Fine. I will feed you now..but dessert is totally on you." I winked.
She was about to respond when Mark made his way out with a tray full of food. He set a plate down in front of both of us.
"If you beautiful ladies need anything just holler."
"Thanks Mark." We said in unison.
He nodded and walked away.
Spencer looked down curiously at her plate of food covered by a lid.
"Part 2 of your birthday present… Go ahead."
She lifted off the lid and her eyes lit up.
"Oh my. Are you kidding me? How did you know?" I loved her reaction. She was so happy.
"I told you that I wanted to know everything about my girlfriend."
"I never told you."
"I have my ways of finding things out Spence. Plus your brother is like my new BFF and your mom and dad loooove me." I gave her a cheesy smile.
"Of course they do. I knew they would once they got to know you."
"Well I am glad they like me because I kinda sorta plan on sticking around for a long time."
"Good."
"Good."
"Can I eat now?"
"Yeah." I chuckled.
I sat and watched as she took a few bites of her Turkey dinner. Apparently it was her ultimate favorite meal. Sliced turkey, mashed potatoes, corn and stuffing, with gravy. I was amazed and honestly a little turned on at the sounds she was making.
"Oh my God Ash this tastes just like my dad's. Where did you get all of this? Who made it?"
"I can't give away my secrets. Just enjoy it birthday girl."
She hesitantly put her fork down and then grabbed my hand across the table.
"Thank you Ashley. This birthday has been amazing." She said sincerely.
"Well it ain't over yet babe."
We finished up with ten minutes to spare and helped Johnny and Mark clean up. I told Spencer to go sit down and relax but she insisted on helping. She's so sweet.
The doors opened and people started pouring in so we made our way up to our private room and waited for Spencer's friends. I called Miranda and she was going to meet us a little after 9. She wanted to wait for Chris to get off work.
We sat down in the booth and I pulled her closer to me. Of course that led to a tad bit of a make out session until we were interrupted by loud laughing and yelling making its way towards us.
"Hey girls. Sorry to interrupt." Stacey winked at me and I chuckled. We both stood up and welcomed her and Sandy who entered right behind her. The lovely, flirty Kat followed Sandy and when she laid eyes on me she gave me the most seductive look I have ever seen.
Uh oh.
"Well hello Ashley. It is…quite the pleasure seeing you here. Are you sure it's not my birthday?" She almost purred.
"Down kitty Kat. I do believe that the gorgeous Ashley is taken."
Thank you Stacey.
"Oh right. Where is this girlfriend of yours this time? Did she let you out of her sight again?"
I looked down at Spencer who had taken a seat. She was finding all of this amusing.
Kat started to get too close for my liking and I gave Spencer my 'do something' look.
"Actually her girlfriend is here." Spencer finally spoke up.
She yanked my arm and pulled me down so that I was sitting on her lap.
Kat's eyes bugged out.
"Shut up!. No way!"
Spencer slid her arms around my waste and rested her chin on my shoulder with a smirky smile.
"SpenCER. I don't believe it. When did this happen? And how?"
Kat finally took a seat and waited for an answer.
"It happened a while back and I am pretty certain you can figure out how."
"Well yeah I mean Ashley is a damn hot but did I miss something here? When did you go gay?"
We all laughed.
"Well I guess you can say 'I went gay' when I first met her. But of course nothing happened until she turned 18."
"Wow. Well you dirty girl you. I can't believe you didn't tell me. I can't believe you didn't slap me after all of the things I said to you that night." I vaguely remembered Miranda saying something about that.
"Yeah well I really, really wanted to." Kat laughed and Spencer joined her.
Kat shook her head and turned back to Spencer with yet another of her seductive stares.
"Well gee Spence, if I knew you were into girls I would have put the moves on your sexy ass a long time ago." Why am I not surprised she was attracted to my girlfriend.
"Sorry Kat. I have only had eyes for one woman." She shrugged and took a sip of her drink.
"Well if you guys ever think about a three way give me a call."
What?
You could say Spencer was surprised at the offer. She spit her drink out everywhere. Mostly on Kat.
"Thanks for the offer but I think we're good." I let her down gently.
She just shrugged as she continued to clean up Spencer's mess.
We all sat around and talked for a good half an hour before I had to get ready for Spencer's next surprise.
"I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." I whispered into her ear. She just nodded and returned to the conversation.
I made my way down the stairs and to the kitchen where I found Mark.
"Is it ready?" I asked him.
"Yep. It's right over there." He pointed towards the counter behind me.
"Okay. Wait for my signal and then bring it out to me."
"Sure thing."
"Oh and Ash." He stopped me before I walked back out.
"You're one lucky girl. Da-yum that girl is one sexy piece of ass."
I shook my head at him disgusted.
"Would you shut up ya big penguin." And with that I walked out as he stood there looking at his outfit questioningly.
The band that was playing took a scheduled break and I walked up onto the stage and straight to the microphone.
"How's everyone doing tonight?" I noticed a lot of familiar faces right away.
"I know, I know. I haven't been on this stage for far too long and you are actually going to have to wait a bit longer. Sorry." A bunch of 'boo's' were let out and I laughed.
"Tonight I am up here to wish a beautiful and amazing woman a very happy birthday." I looked up to the top floor and everyone was up against the railing. My birthday girl smiling down at me.
"Everyone say 'happy birthday Spencer'." The crowd repeated my words and it was rather awesome. Her faced turned beat red of course as she shook her head and smiled.
Mark walked out with the birthday cake lit up with 25 candles. I took it from him and faced the mic once again.
"Will everyone join me in singing 'happy birthday'?" They all cheered.
"Happy birthday.." I started off and everyone joined. As I made my way to the stairs and up to Spencer the whole place sang along. When I finally reached her the song had ended but I kept going.
"Happy birthday my dear Spencer. Happy birthday to you."
Her face held a mixture of happiness and tears. She wiped them and then put her hands over her mouth. More tears fell.
"Make a wish baby."
She nodded and closed her eyes.
Her gorgeous face above the candle lit cake was beyond radiant. I was so fucking lucky.
She finally opened her eyes and looked into mine as she blew out her candles. Everyone applauded. She then took the cake from me and handed it to Miranda who must have just shown up. Then without a word she moved towards me, cradled my face in her hands and kissed me. And when I say she kissed me, I mean she kissed me. Hard and deep and with everyone watching. I drowned out the applauding and cheering and pulled her hips into me, deepening the kiss even more.
At that moment it was just us in the club. I don't know how long we kissed but eventually we ran out of breath and had no choice but to stop. She pulled away slowly but was still so close.
"Do you know how much I love you?" She whispered.
"I do, and I love you just as much." My hand caressed her cheek and she leaned into it.
"Can you two quit being cute for two minutes so we can cut into that cake?" Leave it to Miranda to interrupt.. again.
"Well it's good to see you too best friend." I let go of Spencer and grabbed a hold of Miranda.
"Glad you could make it."
"Of course. Where else would I be?" I hugged her again, tighter this time.
"Okay Ash, I can't breathe." She groaned.
"Sorry." I pulled away. "I have just missed you."
"I've missed you too ya big goob."
Great. We're back to that again?
I rolled my eyes and she smiled a full teeth smile which caused me to shake my head yet again.
Spencer put her arms around the two of us and squeezed us closer to her.
"How about we get some cake girls?"
An hour later everyone was on the dance floor. Everyone but me and the birthday girl. She was sprawled out over the booth with her feet in my lap. They were hurting because she had been on her feet most of the day and I was massaging them for her.
"Thank you for everything today Ash. You really are an amazing girlfriend."
"Don't act so surprised." I feigned being hurt.
"You sure you don't want to dance?" She asked me.
"Nah. You're feet are hurting. It's cool."
"My feet are fine. Let's go dance." She begged.
I really just wanted to take her home and make love to her all night long.
"How about we just get out of here?" I suggested.
"You want to leave?"
"Yeah, I have more surprises for you." I couldn't wait to give her, her gift.
She sat up and crawled onto my lap.
"How about this, we say goodbye to everyone, you take me home and we have our own private little dance session."
"I like the sound of that." I raised my eye brows.
"Good because you are going to dance… for me." She purred into my ear.
"I'm what? Huh?"
"I want you to dance for me Ashley. You aren't going to deny the birthday girl are you?" She slowly grinded into me while biting her lip again.
Uh? Um? Oh boy!
"Let's go say goodbye to everyone." I was up off the chair in a flash dragging her behind me.
It had turned out to be a perfect birthday for Spence and it was about to get a whole lot better. It's true what they say…'you have to give to get' and I was sooo ready to get.
Thanks for reading. Review if you wish.
Song:
Turning Page- Sleeping At Last