He continued to hold her close, stroking her hair and murmuring softly. They sat together for many long moments as her sobs gradually lessened and stopped.

Finally, she pulled away, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hand. "I'm sorry Cal."

"Nothin' to be sorry for." She seemed slightly embarrassed and he frowned as a result. She didn't need to feel that way around him.

"I'm a psychologist. I should be able to handle this better."

Shaking his head, he touched one finger under her chin before gently running it along her jaw line. "Being a psychologist doesn't usually put you in the trenches darlin'. You're a person first. A very strong one but you can't expect to be able to pull yourself through this on your own. It's too much to ask." His eyes were so tender that she almost started to cry all over but managed to hold back.

"I know. I'm just not sure I'm ready to talk to someone else just yet." Gillian sniffled again, shifting to pull her legs under her.

"I'm not goin' anywhere. I'll be here as much as you need me."

She nodded gratefully. "I mean, there's so many horrible thoughts and feelings. With everything welling up inside me, it's hard to even imagine how you got through this kind of thing on your own."

With a sigh, his eyes dropped just in time to see her hand wrap itself around his again. "I didn't have a choice. I was a scared kid and didn't have any resources or support to mean anythin'. My mum was gone, dad was who the hell knows where. Had my mates, but it wasn't like I was gonna share. Not the touchy feely sort, any of us. Colin just wanted to forget the whole thing, not that I could blame him really."

"You saved his life."

"Just a given luv. We watched one another's backs. That's how it was."

"What was I saying about loyalty…?" She almost smiled.

"To a fault." He squeezed her hand, once again noticing how soft her skin was. "Um, not to veer too far away from the subject, but are you hungry at all? I think I could use somethin' to mop up your fine bourbon if I want to stand upright anytime soon."

"You're not going to blame everything we said tonight on booze are you?" Gillian's voice was teasing but it didn't reach her eyes. She was honestly worried.

Blinking, he hadn't even considered that she would think that. Damnit. Of course she would think that. He was such an idiot sometimes. Cal leaned forward, one hand weaving its way into her hair and the other cradling her cheek. "Absolutely not. I wouldn't drive, mind you, but I am lucid enough to know exactly what I said…and I meant every word of it." He eyes delved into hers, intent upon making her believe him.

He seemed a little bleary but his expression was completely earnest. He was telling the truth.

This time, she did manage a smile. "That's good news. I don't think I could stand going backward again."

"Not gonna happen." His eyes were still locked on hers as he leaned a little closer.

Cal's breath was warm and tinged with the smell of bourbon. As her mood made a tiny shift, she wondered how he'd taste. Just like bourbon or would there be something else? What had it been like in the cabin? The memory had been sharp with fear but she couldn't quite remember his flavor. A detail that somehow got lost along the way. She remembered how he smelled and felt though. Thinking about the previous night, she reminisced of how smooth and taut the skin of his back, chest and belly had felt under her hands. He had smelled very masculine. Lingering aftershave, soap and deodorant, but underneath, he had his own scent. And she liked it. A lot.

Her hand reached up lightly combed through his hair. "You sure?"

"No more doubt from either one of us, luv. I'm done with it." He gazed at her, noting the slightly pink face and swollen eyes from crying. Her hair was a little mussed and she was only dressed in sweats and a t-shirt but she was still gorgeous. Pausing for only a moment, he pulled her toward him and softly kissed her. There was nothing seductive about it. It was sweet and gentle, just reaffirming his love and support.

Moving away a tiny bit, he searched her face, thumbs caressing her cheeks.

Gillian's eyes were only partially open. It was obvious that she was tired but he was still pleased to see a slight dilation of her pupils and a tiny bit of hunger. She wanted him and the feeling was most certainly reciprocal. Last night was still emblazoned upon his brain. He could still feel her feather light touches and warm mouth against his skin. It had been quite the struggle to be good. Now, as he watched her, noting the flushed skin and slow licking of the lips, he knew he might be in for a similar struggle. But he was up for it, damnit. She needed him, yes, but right now she didn't need him in her bed.

Gillian moved toward him and touched her lips to his. It was initially tentative like his had been but when he started to return the sentiment, the pressure of her mouth became a little firmer.

Uh oh.

One hand cradled his face while the other looped around his neck. His somehow found their way around her, dropping to the small of her back and firmly sealing her body against his. Her mouth parted open as she began to tease his lips and tongue with her own. A low growl escaped him as he moved to take control but it quickly changed to a moan as she challenged him. He started to pull her onto his lap as their lips continued to assault, please and tantalize. It was hot and wet and amazing and Cal began to feel a stirring before he backed off, his breathing harsh.

Her chest rose and fell in rhythm with his as they stared at one another, eyes wide.

"Wow." It was barely a gasp.

He was less articulate and made a noise close to uh huh, but not quite. Cal was fairly certain that his brain might be melting around the edges thanks to that kiss. Holy shit.

They stared for another beat before smiles flickered and caught, followed by her giggle and his chuckle.

"I guess that there proves we have chemistry darlin'." He stroked her hair once again, loving the feel of it sifting through his fingers.

Her head was currently spinning wildly. Oh my God. Her whole body was now flushed and trembling and it was still only a kiss. But wow. What a kiss. "Um…yeah." It was her turn to mush up her words.

Clearing his throat, he shifted to lessen his slight physical discomfort. "What were we…?"

She couldn't remember. What the heck had they been saying before?

"Food."

Yeah. That among other things.

"Delivery would be good." He started to push himself up, felt the bourbon swell and wrap around his already melting brain before he abruptly sat back down. "Right here to the couch would be even better, cause my ass is slightly inebriated."

"Just your ass?" She couldn't resist as she baited him with a teasing smile.

Cal's eyes darkened again. "Best to be careful luv. I may not be responsible for my actions after that kiss."

"Is that a promise?"

Once again, holy shit. He gaped at her.

She let him off the hook and easily hopped out of the cushions to pad toward the kitchen. "What'll it be?"

"Your call luv cause I can't get my brain to work at the moment."

She could have zinged him again but decided against it. It was too easy right now. Like shooting fish in a barrel. Besides, there was too much swirling around inside her that happily had nothing to do with Finn Bainbridge. The events of the last couple of days had currently been relegated into a small corner in the back of her mind to be replaced with a new fear. But the new fear was coupled with excitement. It had nothing to do with darkness and everything to do with her best friend and a new beginning.