A slightly M-ish chapter. Just being safe in sayin'.

Gillian rolled onto her side, eyes fluttering open just as Cal nudged his way into the bedroom, tray in hands. Placing it on the nightstand, he carefully sat on the edge of the bed, eyes warm.

"Hey sleepyhead." A smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth.

She blinked at him, initially confused before awareness sunk in. He'd obviously showered and changed, his hair still damp. She caught the scent of his aftershave and deodorant and subtly tried to breath a little more of it in. God he smelled good. "What time is it?"

"Bit after ten."

Sitting up quickly, she looked at him in alarm. "Why did you let me sleep so late?"

His smirk changed to a slight frown. "Why wouldn't I? You obviously needed it."

"We need to get to work!"

"Um, no, we don't need to do anythin'. I'm gonna go in, make sure the kids didn't torch the place and see what we have on the docket. Accordin' to Loker, there are a couple cases brewin' but the clients are waiting to talk to one of us personally."

"Cal, I'm going in too."

"Uh uh. I can take care of it." He looked at her closely, noting the fatigue that still seemed to pinch her face despite the extra sleep. His voice lowered. "Besides, I thought you were gonna make a couple of calls."

She'd said that hadn't she? As she stared into his stubborn but concerned eyes, she allowed a tiny sigh. He was right. She needed to take a few steps. Now that she was awake, her earlier nightmare had already begun to insinuate its way into the front of her mind setting off a tiny tremor.

Of course Cal noticed and was quick to bring a warm hand to her shoulder, rubbing lightly. His smile was reassuring. "Before I head out, I'd feel honored if you would at least try to eat some of the breakfast I lovingly prepared for you."

As if on cue, her stomach gave a low rumble and Cal's smile widened. "We have scrambled eggs, cooked with my own special blend of seasonings, sausage that I make no claim to cause I just found it in your fridge, whole wheat toast with real butter, coffee with enough sugar to put most people into a coma, juice and some lovely fresh strawberries that I stole from your crisper."

Genuinely touched, her eyes flickered over the meal he'd brought to her, hoping she'd be able to keep some of it down. "It looks lovely. Thank you."

"Not leavin' til I see you eat."

"You're being silly."

He stuck his lower jaw out slightly in defiance but his eyes were teasing. "Am not."

With a slight eye roll, she reached over to take the plate of eggs and sausage. "Aren't you eating anything?"

"Already did luv." Sort of.

She took a bite of eggs, chewed, swallowed and looked at him skeptically. "Really? What did you eat?" She picked up a single sausage and delicately chewed on it.

"Tea." The response was sheepish.

"That's it?"

"Not a huge breakfast person."

Finishing her sausage, she stabbed some more eggs and brought them to his lips. "Open."

Narrowing his eyes, he just looked at her. "Told you, I-" She took advantage and shoved a wad into his mouth. He chewed and glared.

Smiling, she took another forkful before once again sharing with him, watching as his expression morphed from feigned annoyance to amusement.

"Cal, you know I'm still planning on going in."

"Uh uh."

She pressed her lips together, appreciating his concern but becoming a little aggravated nonetheless. "Look, all I'm going to do today is continually run things around in my head. I need to keep myself busy. Otherwise…" Gillian didn't want to feel like she was going crazy and that's exactly what would happen.

Dubious, he cocked an eyebrow.

"And you'd be exactly the same way." Her blue eyes met his, sensing a shift within. "You couldn't just hang around your house all day. You'd need to keep busy too. Keep your mind off things."

Sighing, he unconsciously acknowledged her truth. He wouldn't be able to sit still. It would be torturous.

Reaching over to the tray, she grabbed a strawberry to take a tiny mouse-like nibble, running her tongue over her lips to catch the sweet juice. She watched as he swallowed his eggs before openly staring at her mouth, obviously watching the movement of her tongue.

Cal suddenly felt like he had been sucking on cotton balls as he watched her delicately chew on the strawberry, tongue moving to catch any trace of juice or pulp. She knew what she was doing. Jesus. She had to know what she was doing.

"Mmmm. These are really sweet!" She smiled at him. "You should try one." She reached over and plucked another from the tray and moved it toward him, waiting until he opened his mouth. He did so, reluctantly, and she placed it inside. Cal quickly closed his mouth, catching her thumb and finger between his lips and giving them a quick caress with his tongue. His eyes were now intent upon hers as she lowered her hand.

"Good aren't they?" Her voice had become a little breathy.

He chewed slowly before answering. "Yeah, darlin', they are." The hazel eyes darkened and dropped to her mouth again.

"Want some more?" Gillian stared at him, heart beginning to pound in her ears. She really wondered what the hell she was doing. She was openly tantalizing him and couldn't seem to help herself.

Cal scooted a little closer and picked up another berry, offering her a bite and watching as her white teeth sunk into the flesh. He then proceeded to pop the rest into his own mouth and saw her gaze drop to his lips before bouncing back up to his eyes. Arousal and excitement shone in her dilating pupils.

Ah hell.

He removed the plate from her lap and placed it back on the tray. "You know what you're doin' to me?" His accent was thick and gravelly.

"I have an idea."

"We shouldn't be doing this."

"I know."

His hand had reached up and gently clasped around the back of her neck before slowly pulling her closer to him. "So much to work through."

"I know." Her voice was just below a whisper.

Her face was now inches from his. He could smell the strawberries on her breath. "Gillian, I…I don't want to fuck this up."

"You're not." Her hand was up against his smooth cheek.

With an almost pained expression, he quickly brought her those last couple of inches and pressed his lips tightly to hers, immediately pushing his tongue past her teeth as he passionately explored the inside of her mouth, trembling as she connected and explored as well.

Fisting her hands in his shirt, she pulled him forward until his body lay partially on top of hers, partially to the side. The kiss deepened even more, taking on a frenzy of intensity that overwhelmed both of them. He moved away from her lips to plant hot, wet kisses down her throat to her collarbone, one hand still in her hair, the other pushing down her pajama top at the shoulder so he could continue his oral assault.

Her arms wrapped securely around him as one hand found its way under his t-shirt to touch the soft, firm skin of his lower back, racking lightly with her short nails and feeling him shudder as a result. She brazenly moved one leg over his hip to further cradle his body against hers.

Tasting the flavor of sugar and salt on her skin, he moved back to her lips, kissing her deeply as his hand moved just under the hem of her top, fingers grazing upon her flat belly before sliding up her rib cage. She pushed back, arching against him and enthusiastically returning the kiss and nibbling on his lower lip before swabbing it with her tongue, feeling more than hearing the moan that he emitted. She could also feel him swell through her thin pajama bottoms as heat spread through her, her respiration becoming fast and shallow, her need close to primal.

The one hand that was exploring under her top gently cupped her breast while the other stayed laced in her hair, locking her to him. His lips were frantically tracing all the smooth curves of her face. He was aware of her own dexterous hands moving over his own body, one hooking in his waistband millimeters from his arousal.

Realization was a bucket of cold water and he suddenly pulled away, eyes tortured, breath rasping painfully in his throat. "God Gillian, I'm sorry." His hand quickly snaked out from under her top, pulling it down gently to cover her exposed flesh. He moved to get up but she caught him by the upper arm. Her face held so much, it was dizzying. Love, disappointment, hurt, understanding, anger and…relief. They both knew they weren't ready but everything was a powder keg right now just waiting for a tiny flicker of flame to set things into irreversible motion.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, heavy emotion catching in his throat.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about." Her voice and eyes were tender as she touched his face once again.

"It's not time."

"I know." Her fingers continued to gently caress his face as his eyes half closed for a moment.

"I love you Gill. I don't want to hurt you." Anymore. He didn't say the last bit but they both heard it in his pleading voice.

Her lips curved into a tiny smile as tears rimmed her eyes. "You are a good man and I've been hoping to hear those words for a very long time." She swallowed, trying to control the flair of emotion. "Just didn't know it for a while."

Cal's eyes continued to delve into hers, intense but pained.

"I do love you too. Sometimes so much it staggers me." She moved upward and kissed him again. But this time it wasn't a tease. It was soft, tender and full of honesty and she smiled against his lips as she felt him return it. "I'm just sorry that it took us almost dying to get here."

"It's all done luv." He gently kissed her eyelids. "We can slowly go forward now."

"Is that a promise?"

"Yeah."

"Cal?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm still going in to work today."

He kissed her forehead. "I know."