On with the chapter...
Sam was going to be upset when Dean told him the news about the way he'd discovered for him to be able to return with Dean to Neverland. That was of course assuming Sam was there waiting for him he reminded himself, feeling the cold ball of anxiety in his stomach churn a little bit more the closer he got to Sam's home.
And that anxiety only tripled when he discovered the room before him empty. Sam was gone.
He searched for a note, a letter, anything to explain Sam's absence and found none. And although he was terrified of what it meant he also had learned from past mistakes and vowed to find Sam and allow him to explain everything. And so he settled himself into the chair at Sam's desk and waited.
But when the first rays of the sun peeked through the window without any sign of Sam Dean knew he had to return to Neverland. He simply couldn't put off resuming his duties any longer and so with a heavy heart he left Sam's house and made his way back to his realm.
"Dean!"
He found a smile for those who called out to him as he landed, and accepted their hugs and well wishes. But Jo caused his smile to falter with her words.
"Where is Sam?"
Dean shook his head.
"I do not know. I went to his father's house and it was empty."
"What happened?"
Dean sighed.
"I know not the answer to that question either, for when I searched for some explanation I found nothing."
"I fear it must be something terrible," Jo said, giving voice to Dean's own thoughts, "for that does not sound like Sam at all."
Dean felt even more anxiety that night than he had the one previous, a feat he had never considered happening. As he approached Sam's house he struggled with his composure briefly before flying into the open window and landing. At first he thought he was once again alone but then he noticed Sam's bed, more specifically the Sam-sized lump which lay upon it. Although Sam was turned away from him Dean would know the lines of his body anywhere and he felt himself smile at the thought. His heart skipped a beat and he was about to proclaim Sam's name loudly and wake him when his other senses kicked in and he heard something he was all too familiar with…Sam was crying.
He cautiously approached the weeping man, taking care his voice and manner both were gentle so as to not upset him more.
"Sam?" Dean whispered, laying a hand on his shoulder, hoping not to frighten him.
But Sam indeed startled beneath his fingers, rolling over and gasping when he saw Dean. Before Dean could say anything else Sam's tears renewed and Dean did as he had done before more times than he had ever wanted…he opened his arms to allow Sam to cry himself out against him. As Dean held him and listened to the tears slowly subside into soft hiccups and then the slightly hitched breaths which announced Sam's descent into sleep he knew he would have to wait for answers.
The next night he hastened back to Sam, not knowing what he would find but prepared to simply be there for him in whatever capacity he could. But this time Sam was sitting at the window looking out and when he saw Dean approach he smiled.
"I had thought your visit last night to be a dream," Sam admitted as he backed up to allow Dean to make his way inside the room. "And I am ever so pleased to discover it was not."
Sam reached out and grabbed Dean's wrist, holding it for a mere moment before dropping his hand back to his side, only to repeat the whole sequence again after only a few seconds had passed as if that was the longest he was able to go without touching Dean.
"Does this mean you missed me?"
"I missed you every moment, every second, every hour, every day, every week and every month of what felt like the longest year of my life." Sam said and Dean nodded, having also felt the time away was arduous. "But for you to arrive at my darkest hour was such a comfort to me. Thank you for last night."
"I would know what happened to cause you such pain," Dean ventured cautiously, "but not before you are ready to share the knowledge with me."
"I buried my father not two nights past," Sam let loose the words in a rush before once more dissolving into tears.
"Oh Sam, how awful," Dean murmured, drawing him close into an embrace.
But this time Sam did not cry so long as to wear himself out. Indeed he managed to subdue his tears, though he did not remove himself from Dean's arms.
"I am most saddened at the loss of the chance to repair the relationship between us, for as you know it was never what I had so often hoped for."
"Indeed I do and I wish I had the words which would offer you comfort," Dean said.
"Just having you here, knowing you are back and safe within my arms once again is more of a comfort than you know. Your presence soothes me, as ever it did, and I am finding my heart already lifted, long before I had thought it would be."
And Dean smiled at him, feeling his own sense of comfort now that they were reunited. He vowed to simply be there for Sam in whatever way he was needed, and to not broach the subject of his own travels or discoveries until such time as Sam himself brought the subject matter up. And indeed a week of visits passed with Dean merely offering his shoulder to Sam. They spent many an hour in silence, sitting on Sam's bed next to one another with Sam held close. Or they passed the time looking at mementos with Sam crying as he told the story behind each one.
But after a long week of emotional upheaval when Dean found himself back at Sam's the other man was waiting for him with a smile.
"So is there a way for me to go with you, to be with you forever?" He said and Dean hesitated before deciding to cut to the chase like Sam had.
"Yes but…you need to be a virgin."
"And?" Sam prompted when Dean stopped speaking. Dean shook his head. It was likely that Sam was going to try and find some kind of loophole that would mean he'd still be able to leave with Dean.
"And you have to eat fairy dust."
"Eat it? How much?"
"'Tis different for every person but Sam I think you are missing the key point here. You have to be a virgin for this to even come close to working and you…" he trailed off, not wanting to get into a discussion of Sam's past sexual exploits.
But Dean's face fell as he contemplated what it was that Sam must truly do. How could he ask it of him?
"Dean," Sam said, suddenly serious, "I would bind myself to you for eternity; I would do whatever you ask of me, so long as we can be together. I have waited for you; have loved you since I was a child and now that I am a man I find myself more helpless than ever I was. You are all I want, everything I want. If you feel even a modicum of that for me then pray do not hesitate any longer. Please tell me what I must do for us to be together. Trust the answer will be yes no matter the question."
"You must agree to bind yourself to me as my partner, as my spouse, actually. You must choose to entwine your fate with mine and give up your humanity—" Dean began.
"Done. Say when, where, and I will give myself to you without hesitation," Sam interrupted.
"And it will only work for love," Dean finished, heart in his throat as he looked at Sam to gauge his reaction.
"I understand, and I also can garner the meaning behind your continued hesitation. Yes I have loved you since I was a child and yes that love was the pure love of a child. Now that I am a man I still feel that unmitigated fondness that ever I felt for you but there is something new as well, Dean. I do not have any experience with love as it applies to romantic love between adults that is true. But…" he paused and shrugged, "I just know without knowing how I do that what I feel for you will be love if it is not already."
And when he could see Dean hesitate yet again he kept talking.
"In truth I feel my own anxiety that your feelings toward me are not of the necessary kind. That when you look at me although you see an adult you do not see someone whom you wish to partner with, have as your spouse or any other role save that as a dear friend, perhaps. This thought plagues me now and keeps me from falling for you as freely as I know in my heart I could."
What? Sam doubted Dean's feelings for him? And why should he not, Dean realized, for in truth Dean had never told Sam otherwise. But now was the time for that to occur.
"When I left you," he began, "I soon discovered my folly for I had left without telling you why I was embarking on the quest. Sam…I had to go on the journey I did for I could not bear to be apart from you. Before I even saw you as a man I loved you, and wanted you to choose to be with me, though I had doubts it could happen. I did not want to leave you that night nor any night, truly, but I should not have left that night without telling you of how my feelings for you had changed."
"Changed?" Sam whispered and Dean shook his head at the doubts he could see in Sam's eyes.
"Yes but not away from love. In truth when I saw you as a man I was so relieved to have you looking at me that I fear it took my brain a while to process just what it was I was seeing."
"And what did your brain tell you it was you were seeing?" Sam questioned, a bashful smile flitting about his lips.
"A man, Sam. And I realized as I flew away that you were still that person I loved, that presence which is dearer to my heart than any," he continued, giving Sam's words from that night back to him, "but I could see possibilities for us which I had not considered before I saw your visage that night."
"I too looked upon you that night with thoughts of the potential between us," Sam admitted shyly, "and I have been wondering these many months if they would ever come to light."
Dean kissed him then, determined to banish the last bit of doubt there may still be for either of them. Sam's lips parted on a soft gasp but he quickly gathered Dean in his arms. How long they stood there kissing was hard to say, but they pulled away from each other when Sam suddenly buckled.
"What is it?" Dean asked, casting a worried gaze over Sam's features.
"There is no cause for alarm," Sam said, bringing his hand up to softly caress Dean's jaw, "merely your kiss has made my knees weaken."
Dean laughed, pulling Sam back in for another kiss although this one was quick.
"'Tis more likely you have merely gone too long without sustenance," he said, placing a hand on Sam's stomach. "Come and let us find something to fill you up."
"Nay," Sam said, tightening his grip on Dean, "for I need nothing save more of your kisses to keep me alive."
But they had only just begun to kiss again when Sam's stomach protested loudly.
"See?" Dean whispered with a grin, "Your body knows what it truly needs."
"Hunger for food is but one of the things my body needs, Dean," Sam whispered back, cheeks flaming in a most becoming way and though his glance at Dean was shy it was still heated, "and I am anxious for us to discover the other needs which must be assuaged together."
"And we shall, Sam, we shall," Dean assured him, allowing his hand to move from Sam's stomach to his cheek, which he caressed softly, "but let us first feed you, for I am worried about your health and would have you taken care of to ease my mind."
So they made their way to the kitchen and once they were seated together at the table with a plate of food between them Sam spoke up again.
"May we begin a discussion of what I am to do once we reach Neverland?" he questioned. "For I wish to know how I may help you best."
"Indeed, 'tis wise to discuss it," Dean said, "and the discussion must begin with questions…what is it you wish to do in Neverland? From your time there was there something which drew your eye? A creature you wished to become, perhaps? Were there dreams you had of how your time would be spent there?"
"I wish to assist you in your duties," Sam said, "in truth my only dreams of Neverland were of us together. So if it is possible for me to assume such a post as would allow for that then I shall be content."
"You wish to be my assistant?" Dean asked and Sam nodded, a gesture Dean echoed. "Very well. You must bind yourself to me for one year."
"Literally? By means of chains or some other thing?"
"What? No," Dean said but then he looked at Sam and could see the other man was simply teasing him, "But do not give me any ideas. No you must be like…an apprentice, I suppose, is the best term."
"I'll follow your every order to the letter."
"Somehow I doubt you will be so compliant," Dean teased.
"Try it," Sam said moving closer, "tell me to kiss you now and I will. I won't even stop until you make me."
"Finish your food," Dean said mock sternly, "there is time enough for kisses later, once we decide on our shared course of action."
"Is there fairy dust in everything that you are?" Sam asked with a smile.
Dean blinked at the almost-change in topic.
"Well yes. I mean it makes up part of each molecule I have."
Sam nodded and said no more until they had both eaten, specifically until he had consumed enough food to please Dean. Once everything was put away and they were making their way back up the stairs to his room Sam paused and turned to the fairy.
"There is something I realize I have not made clear, which I should do so before we leave this night. I believe it will relieve some of your fears."
"Tell me what you will, Sam, but my fears are dismissed," Dean assured him with a smile.
"I snuck out one night my last year in boarding school and what I saw haunted me."
"What did you see?" Dean asked, curiosity overcoming his feeling that perhaps he wasn't meant to know.
"One of my teachers was leaning against the stable's outer wall, pants undone and pooled around his ankles. And kneeling at his feet was Reginald."
"The bully?"
Sam nodded.
"He was bobbing up and down and my teacher had his hands on the back of Reginald's head, forcing him to go at whatever pace he wanted."
Dean had to take a moment before he truly understood what it was Sam was describing and when he did make sense he gasped.
"Reginald had his hand in his own pants and he was pleasuring himself while his mouth was being used thusly," Sam continued, "And as I watched Reginald I hoped that there was another side to what I was seeing."
"What do you mean?" Dean asked without meaning to.
"I sensed there were no feelings between the two aside from perhaps lust, if that. In truth I could not tell if Reginald was pleasuring himself because he wanted to or mayhap he felt like he had to in order to make it through the liaison," Sam explained, "but I knew without knowing how I did that there were people between whom acts such as the ones I witnessed were performed out of not just desire but love, and not a mere baser instinct."
And he fell silent and continued to make his way up the stairs with Dean following slowly behind, his mind whirling with what to say.
"I do believe you are correct, Sam," he said, "for the term is 'making love' is it not? I do not doubt there are people all over the world like you describe."
"Ever since that night I knew I wanted that…with you," Sam said as he entered his room and turned to Dean, who froze upon hearing the words.
Sam smiled and went back into the hallway where he gently grasped both of Dean's wrists within his own and tugged him into the bedroom with him.
"I have been waiting…for you," he confessed in a whisper, "The first night I dreamed such that I woke with my bedclothes wet it was your image which caused it to be thus."
But before Dean could even think of what to say Sam continued to speak in the same low tones.
"And when I first touched myself it was your name I set free as I spilled into my hand."
A silence fell between them which Dean had no idea how to break. The mere thought of Sam doing that…pleasuring himself while thinking of Dean? It emptied his head of rational thought and set his body aflame. Then Sam closed what little distance there was between them and Dean's mouth fell open on a moan as he could feel how the confession had affected Sam. He found himself being kissed again but this time there was more urgency on both sides than ever before. After a long while Sam pulled away and moved his lips to Dean's ear.
"The dreams I have had, Dean. Oh such dreams," Sam whispered against his skin, "Will you indulge me now? Allow me to enact one of my fantasies with you?"
It took Dean a moment before he could find his voice and he was surprised to hear how ragged it had become.
"Your wish is my command."
And Sam simply smiled at that and pulled Dean with him, backing up until they were at the window. Once there he turned them around and left Dean's back against the windowsill. Dean wondered at what Sam's actions would be but as soon as Sam sank to his knees in front of him he understood well Sam's intentions.
"So long," Sam murmured as his hand went to the laces on Dean's breeches, "for so long have I wondered what I would find once I released these bindings."
And his hands were steady as he pulled the pants open and one of his hands pushed up the hem of Dean's shirt, exposing a trail of white-blonde hair that he immediately pressed his lips to.
"Soft," Sam said against the skin with a smile in his voice, "but I seek out that part of you which has hardened."
Then he pulled the breeches down more in order to expose Dean fully to his hungry gaze. It was a long minute before Sam had gotten his fill of looking and moved in to taste the flesh his mouth was watering for. He lapped at Dean without hesitation, collecting the taste of him in his mouth before leaning forward to take more of him between his lips, whimpering softly at how good the fairy tasted.
"So eager…oh gods, look at you," Dean's words escaped him with a pleasure-filled sigh and Sam turned his eyes to him feeling his ardor increase ever more with the blissful and yet still loving expression he was witnessing.
But when Sam's hand went to his own pants Dean stopped him.
"No!" Sam looked up sharply at him, stopping his movements entirely. "Please, no. I want to be the one who causes you to find such ecstasy."
Sam moaned and closed his eyes, allowing his hands to instead go to Dean's hips, where they kneaded the skin almost frantically as he lost himself in the act. Dean found his tongue tied as he was reduced to mere sounds, unable to tear his eyes away from the riveting sight in front of him. His completion came upon him fast and when he placed his hand on Sam's cheek to warn him it was imminent one of Sam's hands cradled his length and that was all it took to push Dean over the edge. This time it was his knees which weakened but Sam held him steady with his hand on his hips, continuing to lick at Dean until the fairy's shivers threatened to make him tumble down.
But Dean would not allow himself to be the only one to feel such pleasure, though he doubted his ability to make Sam feel anything close to the ecstasy he himself had just experienced. So he lowered himself to his knees and brought Sam in for a kiss, demanding entrance to his mouth while his hands worked at the fastening of Sam's pants.
When he felt the fairy's hand grasping the length of him fully Sam groaned into his mouth loudly, hips canting upwards desperately. He shuddered and found his own completion after only a few strokes of Dean's hand upon him. He continued to kiss Dean back though the desperation of moments before slowly gave way to contentment, and their kisses once more were flavored with love.
"I believe I have made some progress in the matter of eating fairy dust," Sam told him with a smile as he lifted his head to meet Dean's gaze.
"Fishing for compliments are we?" Dean breathlessly teased with a smirk, finally understanding Sam's comment from before.
"However I would not be opposed to learning other ways to consume your essence, or mayhap to be filled with it, might be the more correct term," Sam continued with a smirk of his own.
"You wish for us to consummate our union fully, do you?" Dean murmured, unable to resist moving back in for more kisses.
"How could I wish for anything else?" Sam sighed between kisses, frowning when Dean pulled away.
"Then let us make our way to Neverland with all haste," Dean said, standing up and refastening his clothing and watching Sam as he mirrored the act. "For I wish for us to lie together and we cannot truly be joined until we have gone through the ceremony."
"Your wish is my command," Sam told him, smiling once more and linking their hands together before leading Dean to the window.
"You have indeed gotten some fairy dust in your system," Dean said, "however I am not sure it is enough for you to achieve flight on your own. Mayhap it would be better for you to ride with me? At least until such time as we know you are truly a Neverland resident?"
He didn't mention that he also wanted Sam close to him but upon looking at Sam's smile he thought that fact might already be understood.
"You shall never have to ask twice for me to be as near to you as I can be," Sam assured him, "and flying together was wonderful before and will be even more pleasing now."
"Let us depart then," Dean said, crouching down for Sam to climb on his back as before. He was surprised when Sam shook his head although he was smiling too so Dean did not worry overly much.
"I wish for you to carry me this time, held safe and securely within your arms," Sam said and Dean wasted no time in scooping Sam up.
"Is there a reason for this request?" Dean wondered aloud and Sam smiled wider as he linked his arms around Dean's neck.
"Indeed," he confessed, "for I wish to kiss you as we fly and have you kiss me back."
Dean chuckled and closed the short distance between them for a kiss.
"I love you," he told Sam who beamed even wider.
"As I love you," Sam said, kissing Dean once more before lifting his head and pointing out the window. "Now let us be off…our happily ever after awaits."
And so they flew away from our world and made a new home in theirs where they indeed live happily ever after to this very day.
~Finis~
A/N: Thanks for reading!