I guess I shall leave my rambling later in the end. What should I say–um, happy reading? xD
For me, there's only one thing I knew.
I miss Ever.
Every day, I toss and turn just always to remember her. If she's okay, if she's doing fine… well, for a person to sob her eyes out endlessly in an empty parking lot after pleading and screaming a few days ago, I'm sure she probably moved on and is rejoicing for her lost possibly bad, evil immortal boyfriend.
As expected for any normal person to react, not to be surprised of.
Somehow, even though it's far heart-breaking and stressful for me–for us, due to our forced, dramatic break-up that feels like yesterday, it kind of made me glad for a bit.
What? No, no, it's not what you think.
You know, things have two sides about them–a happy one and a sad one. It's up to the human to take it to himself in his own point of view of what he believes in those choices. And what his choice is affects not only himself, but the people around him and also, his life.
I'm the type to look at the positive side of things that happen to me, because of all of the events in my life, I must admit that I'm tired of looking back at the past and replay all of the tragic happenings that I wasn't supposed to see in my early life, even to when I changed.
That's why I made up a bendable rule–I can't go back. And one thing's certain–it's like, only for now. Because I know hidden secrets don't stay hidden forever even if one wants to, and I can predict that it would come as a subject to the near future.
…Which I try to avoid to my very best, until the right time comes. Until that time has arrived for me to tell everything, even shout it with my own mouth.
Anyway, the fact about our supposed-to-be dramatic scene is that it became a kind of comedy. I really can't believe Ever would believe in childish fiction stories about vampires and such, that it actually lead her to hating me. …HAHAHA.
Even so, that's one of the things I love about Ever–her naivety.
As I was yawning, I suddenly choke in a burst of soft laughter that started my morning. After recovering from my laughter, I made my way to the bathroom and relaxed at the warm water that sprayed all over me.
Up until now, I am praying hard to God, to whoever can grant my wishes for the sake of others, that what Ever said isn't true. I know she won't dare herself to do that, because I know, deep in my heart that we were destined for each other, even before it started six hundred years ago. But, I just feel so lost, so doubting.
What if she really means it? What if she won't forgive me? What if she really hates me and won't see, forgive me forever?
Forever is a long, painful word. …If you're alone. It just doesn't make 'forever,' if you have no reason for existing, no cause for living. Living would be pointless if you have 'nothing' to subsist for.
Instead of thinking these things, why shouldn't I go make myself happy and satisfied for the time being? Nothing will happen if I just drink, sleep, drink lonely all day long. I also need to be positive, like positive thinking and that, and do some exercises or something recreational or whatever outside my house.
After stuffing some extra elixir and drinking a small amount of it to give me enough power for the meantime, I went out, greeting my surrounding that doesn't seem to greet me, too. The sky was grey, overcast, and rainy, opposite of what I imagine for a beautiful day.
I started the engine, waking it up from its long slumber and drove away from my place.
Out of all the places I could've picked, where am I again?
Who would've thought I came to the latest place we've been. From the Front Runner, I can see horses clearly with their grooms, followed by the same jockey we saw that day. Yes, the Sta. Anita racetrack–one of my favourite places and a place owned by a friend. But, I did mention that, right?
…Right.
Today, it looks like a rematch race or something. I didn't care for the moment there. I'm busy staring, observing the marvel of the green hills beyond and everything that I didn't notice someone is near me.
"Should I bring you champagne?" I flinch as Tony, my waiter and a friend, I suppose, suddenly said. He grins a bit, his face showing apology to his rudeness of snapping me back to earth.
Ah, champagne. Oh, the embarrassment it gave me on our date. How remarkable. I forgot how it tastes like. Ever since I became an immortal, the elixir is all I drink besides that and it's been a long time since I paused. I nod for the approval of the champagne and that is all I take.
Afterwards, Tony says, "The boss gives you his greetings, Mr. Auguste. He is not present today though, but I know he always will and we are giving it in advance. Should I tell him you visited?"
"My pleasure, please go tell him when he arrives," I mumble and Tony gave his final gesture, going away.
After leaving me alone with the champagne, I began to drink, hoping it'll make me feel better and calm my nerves. And yes, did it make me fine for a second. So, I start to chug it down bit by bit, then onto streaming it down slowly, tasting the sweet taste. Ah, how refreshing. I don't know what else to describe it.
The soothing, softening feeling stays for a while, leaving me vulnerable. Oh.
Something flickers in my memories, sparkling like it wanted to be remembered. What is it…? Is it one of my to-do lists? One of the things that needed my attention…? What? Is it that significant that I can't shrug it off easily?
I sway to put my hand on my forehead, to help to remember it. Something hits the floor all of a sudden and I lazily flip my eyes to see it. And there it is–the answer to the mystery in my head.
The horseshoe bracelet shines as if it has real crystals, captivating my eyes of its simplicity. It seems as if it's lost, too. At least, we're the same. I picked it up and observed it. Like a movie, flashes of sweet and lovely memories flooded my mind.
I tried to slow down the times Ever and I spent together everywhere–the day we first met, the day we second met; every day we saw each other in class, until we were an official couple; the dates we had at the beach and the most memorable, the day here in the racetrack.
Then, come sights I sadly saw–the time she saw me saving Haven, the time when she finally learned the truth and the very last moment we saw each other at the parking lot. It was extreme.
And I thought my wish will finally come true–that she would never, never forget everything that happened between us, our fluffy moments together and our undying love for each other. It really hurt me when she even asked me how she can forget, as if it's simple and that.
But, now that I realized she hasn't even the proof of our love that stands against the world, it looked hopeless. I feel so down. How…? What should I? I don't know what should I–
I cleared my head, removing any unnecessary thoughts. Looking at the bracelet hanging in front of my eyes, I smiled sincerely and resolved that this bracelet belongs only to its owner's wrist.
Guess who's alive? Me! …Okay, like always, I am very sorry that this chapter is late. Ugh, I know–my lame excuses. First, I had a writer's block for an instant for a while; second, I lost motivation during the last chapter and it took me a while to get it back. Fear not, I'm sort of inspired for now and I'm ready to write again, although I'll start to be busy next week. And lastly, it's because I'm changing my updating pace to I'll-update-whenever-I-can-and-I-want-to.
So, try to keep up with me as possible, okay? Thank you for your patience, guys!
Also, I'd like to thank mrs. Tall Blonde and Dead and dimkasgal4ever for the fave of this fic and the others who did the same with story alert and the like. And you must know that I do check my mail so keep the demands and comments coming! You know I love you all! …I'd also love to read your criticisms. *wink wink*
"Anyway, the fact about our supposed-to-be dramatic scene is that it became a kind of comedy. I really can't believe Ever would believe in childish fiction stories about vampires and such, that it actually lead her to hating me. …HAHAHA." – Just to let you know, I was really tempted to insert 'Indeed, the power of Twilight' in the end of that paragraph and I just had to stop my insane side for good, what a nice thing.
Anyway, that's pretty much about it and this is my longest A/N I've ever written. Until next time!