Finding comfort
Walking out of the base towards his car, he sits in the drivers seat, thumping the wheel, suspended, the words keep spinning around in his head. He had always gone by the rules, well mostly, he never thought this would happen. Driving away from TR, glancing over his shoulder he wonders if this is the last he would see of the place.
Pulling in at the pub a few minutes later, doesn't take long to drink the first beer, feeling the brown liquid going down this throat, it isn't long before he ordrs another. Hearing his phone ring again, he sees the number Josh, answering it, he really doesn't want to talk about it or get TR involved, turning his phone to silent, ignoring the numerous messages from Shannon.
Stumbling out of the pub a while later, he looks around, no idea where he is going, not wanting to go home, definitely not to Shannon's, hearing his phone ring again, looking down to see Shannon calling him, letting it go to voice mail, feeling slightly guilty, but in no mood to speak to her, especially after some of her messages.
Having no idea where he is going, feeling the cool crisp evening air, walking along, finding himself at Yarra River, crossing th bridge into Southbank, looking up at the building, was it really only last night TR was at the casino, is he about to lose all of that.
Looking up a short while later, he is at the tram stop, seeing the tram come with St Kilda on it, without even thinking he hops on it,. As it rattles along, what is he doing, why is he going to St Kilda, Deep down he knows the answer as wrong as it is, looking at his phone, he just can't bring himself to ring Shannon or go home, her anger and hatred towards Kerry he can't deal with that. Looking out the window, he tries to block everything out.
Walking out of TR, the only option is to call a taxi, after going back to her own place, didn't seem the best option, especially when she had no gun or back up or Lawson. Sending a quick text to Chris, she doesn't want to see him, but going back to St Kilda seems the only option.
Hearing her phone beep, she looks down to see a message back from Chris, at least she has a place to go, hailing a taxi, she goes back to her place, needing some clothes, funny yesterday that was meant to happen.. Getting the taxi to wait, she quickly throws things into a bag, everything she needs. Making sure the place is locked and secure, she heads back to the taxi.
Arriving back at St Kilda, she quickly throws her things into the room, before walking back down to the bar, stopping at reception, to get her mini bar refilled. Walking into the bar, she sits at the bar, quickly drinking each drink. As she gets the refill, the barmaid looks at her "Slow down hey honey?" Glaring at her 'Just fill up my glass?" "I can only serve you a few more?"
Walking away to a table, she glances at the door, seeing Chris there staring at her, turning her back to him, she sits down, in no mood to talk to him, if she is honest with herself, looking at him, actually hurts, the betrayal she feels by him, after the night they spend together, was that all for show.
Not even needing to look up she knows Chris is at her table "What do you want?"
Seeing him about to sit down "You have 2 minutes?" Looking into her eyes "I'm sorry Kerry, I honestly didn't know anything about this morning, I tried to get out of it, but I didn't even know where we were going until we turned into your street. You know what IA are like. I hated what they did to you"
Looking up into his face "Is that all? Do you believe them, what ever they believe they are after?" Looking into her blue eyes, he doesn't want to believe it ""No…but they did find stuff there"
Pointing to the door "Leave Chris, I'll be out of here tomorrow, now *** off." Getting up out of his seat "Stay here, as long as you need Kerry, your safe here" then as he walks out "Check the mattress in the spare room, you will find something there"
Watching him walk out, she realises what he is saying, as pissed off as he is with him, she will have to speak to him.
Finishing off her drink, she walks back up to the bar, "gin and tonic" looking at her, the bar maid gives her another drink. Walking back to the table what is she doing, turning to the one thing that gives her comfort all the time. Feeling someone looking at her, she is ready to give Chris a piece of her mind turning around she is surprised who is staring at her
Standing at the doorway, he sees Kerry look at him in surprise, after the way he treated her today he isn't surprised. His feet seemed glue to the spot, he can't seem to go inside the bar or anything. Taking a deep breath he finds himself turning around and walking out of the hotel. Standing out the front, he glances back towards the entry, he finds himself walking back towards the bar. Walking up to the bar ordering 3 shots wine, and a beer, sculling the first shot, he walks over to the table putting down the shots and the drinks. Holding up the shot of Tequilla, he throws it back, seeing Kerry doing the same.
Glancing at Lawson in surprise, after the way he treated her today she never expected him to turn up here "What are you doing here?" Looking into Kerry's eyes, he can see the toll its taking. "I don't know...i had to come...I'm sorry Kerry, it was a surprise and not a nice one"
Giving a short laugh "i know, where's Shannon" Feeling a pang of guilt about his girlfriend "don't know, where's Chris"
Raising her eyebrows in surprise at his answer "don't care". Giving a half smile at Lawson before sipping her drink.
Watching her sip her wine deep in thought "what's happening Kerry, what's going on?" Shrugging she really has no idea what she is doing now. "I never meant you to get involved in it all, or TR." "I want to help...but" Finishing off her drink "I don't need your or anyones help Lawson" getting up and walking out.
Walking out of the hotel, towards the foyer, she walks outside breathing in the cold night air. Leaning against the pole, she takes a deep breath, what is hapenning to her, why is this all happening. Trying to be strong, even the alcohol isn't helping.
Watching her walk out, she is so stubborn but she isn't at tough as she thinks. Finishing off his drink he walks out of th hotel, seeing er standing near the entrance, looking out over the water. Wanting to wrap his arms around her and draw her close to him, to try to help her forget everything.
Staring out at the ocean, Kerry feels a hand reaching out for hers, holding her hand. Turning around, she sees Lawson's eyes full of care and concern. Seeing the look on Kerry's face, he draws her towards him, wanting to protect her, with his arms wrapped around her, they enter the hotel catching the lift back up to her room.
Catching the lift up to Kerry's room, she loves the feel of Lawson's arms around her body, but ends up pulling away from him. Having his hand close on her body is driving her crazy. Opening up the door to her room she looks around, glad that Chris isn't here.
Walking over and opening the fridge she takes the spirits out, showing the bottle to Lawson who nods, she puts some in a glass for him and another glass for her. Walking over to the lounge she sits next to Lawson curling her feet under her. Not looking at Lawson but staring straight ahead "There are times when i wish that James had never come back, that he had stayed in America. My own son 'im wishing that on. Why did he come back, what happened over there, why did he do it?"
Reaching out for her hand he had negotiated so many times but with people he didn't know, he had no answers for Kerry, but he doubts that is what she is after. "after everything he has put you through, i think it is normal for anyone who has been through what he has put you through to feel that way, it doesn't make you a bad mother or anything." He hates seeing Kerry so vunerable, the only other time he has seen her cry or like this was after Grace's death, he knows she hates people seeing her like that.
Giving Lawson a half smile, she gets up, pouring herself and Lawson another drink, bringing the bottles of wine over. Finishing off the bottles she leans back against the lounge. Her thoughts go back to James and the previous months, "I love James he is my son, but i didn't think i might never see TR again," then looking into Lawson's eyes "Or you"
Turning away from Lawson, if she looks into his eyes much longer, shaking her head to get her feelings out of her head wanting to stand up but her body isn't responding. Feeling Lawson's gaze upon her, she turns to head around, "you are a wonderful and beautiful person" he slurs, as he leans towards her, his lips meeting hers, as he wraps his arms around her pulling her towards him.
Wrapping her arms around Lawson she responds to his kissing, feeling his lips against hers. His hands moving around her body, she feels him to start to undo her shirt. Her hands moving to the front of him, undoing his shirt also. Taking a deep breath, she moves her mouth away, looking into his georgeous brown eyes, some part of her is telling her it is wrong, the amount she has drunk she is finding it hard to pull away.
Feeling Kerry pulling away from him he sees her staring into his eyes. seeing confusion in them. Closing his eyes it hits him slightly what he has done and was about to do. Pulling his arms away from Kerry, he starts to get up off the lounge buttoning up his shirt. Walking towards the door, he turns around seeing Kerry staring at him, this time the confusion has gone, replaced by sadness and a longing.
Walking out the door, he leans against it, what is he doing, through all the alcohol he has drunk that night, his head is telling him to continue and walk to the lift and back home, but another part of him, can't get the look of Kerry out of his head.
Watching Lawson get up, and walking out of the room, she leans forward placing her head on her hand, what was she about to do, part of her wants Lawson to walk back in that door.
Hearing a knock on door, and the door opening, she looks up in surprise to see Lawson standing there, "I don't know what I'm doing Kerry", getting up off the couch, "either do I" as he walks over to her, pulling her towards him, he leans down towards her, kissing her gently on the lips, feeling her arms wrap around his neck, he picks her up carrying her into the bedroom. Lying her on the bed they begin to make love all night.
Waking up the following morning, Kerry looks around her head pounding, feeling Lawson inside of her his arms underneath her. Turning around Lawson finds Kerry's lips, kissing them his eyes open in surprise, looking around where is her, this isn't his house or Shannons. His eyes opening he finds them staring into the bluest of eyes, he knows those eyes anywhere. Kerry, rolling over, he realises what happened the night before. The guilt displayed in both of there eyes, Getting out of bed, Kerry walks over to the bathroom, standing at the door with a towel wrapped around her, her blue eyes portraying guilt and confusion
Turning the shower on, Kerry leans against the wall, banging it in frustration, her head is hurting, and she looks like crap. Closing her eyes, she tries to remember back to last night, all she can remember is walking into the bar, seeing Chris and Lawson coming in.
Walking to the door, Lawson glances around the room, part of him is tempted to stay, even after what happened last night, knowing Kerry she will just turn to alcohol again. Opening the door he knows if he stays there is no backing out, and if he leaves he actually has to think. Looking around, he is sobering up, knowing what a mistake it is, Kerry is his boss, it can't happen again.
Walking out onto the street he hears his phone beeping, getting it out, he sees missed calls from Shannon along with text messages. Walking over to St Kilda Beach, looking over to the city. Staring out, he hears his phone ringing, looking down, he sees caller ID as Shannon, knowing how worried she would of been, "Hi Shan" Hanging up a few minutes later, he walks over to the jetty, sitting down, putting his head on his hands all he feels is guilt, why did he let it happen, how could he do that to Shannon.
Walking out of the bathroom, over to the bed, looking around, she sees empty wine bottles, beer and small spirit bottles. Getting up off the bed, she knows what she has to do, she should of done it all along. Exiting the hotel she walks over to the beach, walking to the jetty she needs to clear her head before heading to HQ. Walking out onto the jetty, she comes to the end, looking up she sees Lawson there, with his head in his hand.