Chapter 5 - Figuring Things Out

BYR

Aww... :( I didnt get as much reviews as i thought i would. Well im new so i guess i shouldn't be expecting so much. Gotta have faith~ Hahah well i hope u like this chapter. I'm kinda having writers blocks so if you hav any ideas to continue this story, i would love to hear them~ :)

"I love you."

"You...what...?"

He couldn't believe his ears. The blonde, the one that had been chasing him almost all of his high school life, said the three most simple, most unimaginable words he could ever say, to HIM! For the first time ever, Izaya was left speechless.

"No..."

He couldn't believe it, he wouldn't. This was all too unrealistic to him. Using the fence behind him to stand up, Izaya slowly rose from the ground. His legs were unstable as he tried standing up straight and proud. But he couldn't, the shock was too much to handle; even for him. As he stood half way, Shizuo readied himself in case the brunet fell. With arms near the smaller male, he could feel the fear radiating out of the informant's body.

"Don't touch me."

The info-broker's tone was cold and dark; which means that he meant business. Stepping as far away from the blonde as possible, Izaya wasn't paying attention as he backed away. The fence behind him wasn't sturdy like years before and he fell backwards into the cold water once again. It was like the same thing was happening to him 15 years ago. He never learned to swim in that span of time, so he sunk into the dark waters, again. Water quickly filled his lungs as Izaya tried to resurface for air. The more he struggled, the lower he sunk to the bottom. Waves pushed him further down and the salt water stung his eyes. (Shizu-chan! Help me!) The only thing in his mind at the moment was the thought of the blonde saving his life again. Though he hated receiving help from others, the brunet was completely helpless when it came to swimming, so he just swallowed his pride and mentally pleaded for help.

"Izaya!"

The informant fell backwards into the dark waters. He expression was in complete shock, he would've never had guessed for the same exact thing to happen the second time around. Moving towards the falling info-broker, Shizuo tried to reach out and grab the smaller male, but his grasps slipped and Izaya fell into the ocean. Following the brunet, the blonde dived right into the freezing body of water to rescue him. It was dark and hard to see under the bright world, but spots of sun rays managed to light the ocean just enough for Shizuo to see. Spotting the raven haired male under him, the blonde swam deeper until he reached Izaya. Grabbing him by his fur trimmed jacked, the ex-bartender pulled the light weighted male up until they reached the surface. Catching his breath, Shizuo swam to shore with the informant in tow. Once they reached the dry sandy beach, the blonde immediately checked the brunet's heart to see if he was alive. Nothing.

"Shit! Izaya don't you dare die on me!"

He knew what he had to do. It was the only way to save the info-broker's life. Tilting the unconscious man's head back, Shizuo hesitated before taking a deep breath and breathing into the brunet's mouth. Resurfacing, he quickly did chest compulsions and then went back to giving Izaya the kiss of life. After two rounds of chest compressions, the informant finally coughed up the salt water that was drowning his lungs. The brunet violently coughed and struggled to catch his breath. (I could've sworn I saw my life flash before my eyes... So, Shizu-chan actually jumped in and saved me again... How weird...) Pushing himself up, Izaya sat on the warm sand with his head in his hand. He needed to sort things out; about him and the blonde. Now that he knew how Shizuo really felt towards him, how does he react? Does this mean that his days of playing tag with the monster were over? What will happen to him now that he lost his toy? Question after question puzzled the brunet as he covered his face with his hands. Shizuo was kneeling on the ground right next to the informant, but Izaya didn't even acknowledge that he was there. He was too busy thinking inside his perfect world. (There's no way I can love someone like him. He didn't even like me when we met again. We're not friends, we're enemies. Why doesn't he see that? Why did he say that he "loves" me? I can never understand that protozoan... He acts so irrational. What should I do? I don't love him! I don't even like him! I might have thought that we could've been friends long ago, but he shot that idea down when we met in high school. He lost his chance back then, and I'm not giving a second one. I... I just don't know how I feel about him... Is this love or hate? I can't tell the difference anymore...)

"Izaya?"

"Shut up."

The brunet didn't want to hear the blonde's voice; it only made him more confused. He hated how the monster was disturbing his inner peace. Everything in his life was set to be permanent; his job, his hobbies, his hatred towards the abomination, everything. Now, all that was ruined by the same man who claimed to have hated him. Nothing made sense; it was like the world had turned upside down. His mind slowly turned into a fuzzed haze as the informant struggled to remain cool and collected.

"Izaya, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong? You wanna know what's wrong? You're ruining my life! That's what's wrong! You're messing everything up! All my plans, all my goals, ruined, destroyed! I'm off coarse now and it's all because of you! You and your stupid "love"! YOU DON'T LOVE ME! You HATE me! Hate hate hate!"

He didn't mean what he was saying. Izaya was just conflicted and surprised at the sudden human emotions that were overwhelming his frail body. He had shut them away for so long that he'd forgotten what they felt like. The info-broker was scared for the first time in his life. He was scared to be loved and to love another. He'd seen many, many couples break each other's hearts and lives because their love wasn't strong enough. Seeing that pain, it scared him and he ran away from it. He didn't want to be another victim of that heartbreak, not ever.

"Izaya, I don't hate you."

"Yea you do! Don't lie to yourself! Don't lie to ME! I know that you never ever will like a person like me! So don't mess with my head! Stop playing with my heart!"

Tears rolled down the brunet's face as he stood up and ran away from Shizuo. He couldn't stand being near the monster. Not when his world was crumbling down on him. Shizuo just made it worse. Running away from the beach, Izaya sprinted as far away as possible from the blonde. He wanted to forget everything that had happen today, to forget what the ex-bartender had said to him, to forget that he was feeling human emotions. He wanted to forget it all, because for so long, he'd wished for the blonde to remember that faithful day. The day where they had met; the day where their lives had intertwined with one another's. But it was too late; and sadly, Izaya had longed moved on...

A/N

Review. thats all i can say lol and like i said before! Any ideas are welcome! Lov u guys :) and have an awesome weekend!