(A/N) So for some reason, a couple of words in the last chapter got replaced with "." ...Why.

I kept thinking I'd fixed it, and then they'd show up again after I published the chapter.

Does anyone know why that happens? It's really bugging me haha :D

In the words of a very wise and not-quite-sober Psychologhy teacher, "Sometimes life throws you a curve-ball. You just make sure you're there to catch that bitch and throw it right back."

Alright.

Shit happens, and it happens to everyone. And we all have our own way of dealing with such situations. Some people remain optimistic no matter what, and are always looking for a solution. Some get angry and bitter and generally nasty to be around. There's also the pity-partiers, who can't be satisfied until everyone else is made aware of their misery. Certainly there are more, but we won't go any further since these are the only three that could apply to the matter at hand. Take a guess; which one do you think our dear Yoru is?

Trick question. Since she has no firmly established personality as of yet, she can slip into any one of the above at will and without question; even all three if she so desires.

It's all a matter of chance, as we shall soon observe. But for now, I think it's time we check up on Yoru-chan, the conqueror of all that is wholesome and hygienic and sane.

"da fuuuuuuu—"

"I don't understand how this happened." Itachi looked rubbed his temples, looking uneasy.

"Sex makes babies. Even I knew that, and I'm the resident dumbass." Hidan shook his head at Itachi. "And they say you're the genius…good lord; we're all doomed." It was quiet. "Doomed to the fucking fiery-ass pits of motherfucking hell for all goddammed eternity, to be more specific."

"I don't know, I always thought Tobi was supposed to be the stupid one." Kakazu looked thoughtful.

"Shut-un-up-un." Deidara snapped. "Stop talking nonsense, un. What's a Tobi, un? I've never heard of such a thing, un. Un. Un. Un."

"uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu—"

"Will somebody shut her up?" Kisame ordered, looking agitated. He put a comforting arm around his partner. "There, there, Itachi. Don't worry your effeminate little head. It's just a baby. I know exactly how to handle these things." The way he licked his lips was not very reassuring, although it may just have been his close proximity to his partner. Did you know they're lovers? You didn't? Neither did they, until just now.

"uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuq—?" Yoru finally shut herself up, realizing that she was starting to feel faint from oxygen deprivation. She took a deep breath, and everyone waited expectantly. "guyz im pregnant. dis is crazy. im gunna be a mommy." She started to cry, her eyes of swirling jade overflowing with flawless crystal and topaz and all assortments of precious stones.

"Don't cry," Itachi begged, looking disturbed, "your sadness makes me want to kill myself. For some reason. I've never even been slightly suicidal before—unless you count the Sasuke thing, but that was more indirect…"

"You're rambling dear." Kisame cut him off, while playing absentmindedly with a strand of the other's dark hair.

"And you." He turned to Kisame. "I don't understand why you are touching me. This should not be happening."

"yea bro, paws off my man!" Yoru leapt into action, landing a solid punch in the blue man's jugular. "I kno u guyz used to have secks all da time and stuff, but that's the past! Itachi-koon is MINE now!"

"Yes, she is correct. Though we engaged in frequent intercourse in the past—which was perfectly appropriate despite the considerable age difference—I am now Yoru's plaything. It was only a fling, and our complete disregard for professionalism is now a thing of yesterday."

"This morning…" Kisame corrected.

"Gross…" Someone muttered.

Kisame glowered at Yoru for a moment, before turning on his heel and stomping from the room. There was a loud crashing noise, and the sound of plaster raining down, presumably from the new hole in the wall. Kisame reappeared, addressing Yoru.

"I'm going to kill you." He growled menacingly.

Then he turned to Itachi. "You'll change your mind. You'll come back to me."

There was silence.

Pein sighed. "Well…we're really going to have to work on your delivery."

Kisame turned on his leader. "What are you talking about? My delivery was flawless!"

Pein shook his head. "Don't worry about it. It was only your first try. Things will improve…" He looked expectantly at the ceiling. "Or perhaps not," he muttered as an afterthought. "Anyhow, you might as well excuse yourself. You won't be needed for a while now."

Kisame huffed off, grumbling something about how "underappreciated" he was.

"thanx for getting him to leave, Pein-chan." Yoru glomped her leader enthusiastically.

"Of course. Now, on to the next order of business." He cleared his throat, since that seemed to be his only method of grasping the attention of his borderline-retarded subordinates. When everyone was paying attention, he continued. "Your offspring will be arriving very, very soon. I must say, the timeline for this whole affair is actually quite unnatural. So unnatural, in fact, that one might be led to believe that someone upstairs has made a grave error in their calculations."

"Just how soon is soon?" Itachi wondered.

Pein looked thoughtful. "Well, since she just realized she was pregnant about 15 minutes ago, we have to start counting from that moment. So that gives us…" He paused, "…carry the 3…"

"wut?"

"Two days."

"What?"

"Fuck me!"

"Un? Un! Un…!"

"Impossible!"

"She's not even showing yet!" Sasori cried, jabbing a finger towards her abdomen.

The shouting ceased as everyone went in for a closer look.

"By George, he's right…" Kakazu stated in bewilderment.

But then, before their very eyes, Yoru's stomach began to expand, ripping her impractical lace shirt as it went.

"What the fucking hell is going the fuck on inside her bitch-ass—argh!"

No one batted an eye as Kakazu ripped Hidan's head off, and tossed it into some random corner.

"Who's George…?" Someone whispered.

There was no answer.

"I can feel da bebe." Yoru patted her stomach contentedly, not at all weirded out by the fact that something was growing inside her at a very alarming rate.

"Aww…" Deidara cooed at her stomach, making kissy-faces at it.

Itachi stood there massaging his temples, looking deeply in need of drug-induced sleep.

"Well, I think I've had just about enough of this rape-age of scientific and medical knowledge. I'm going to go count my money, or molest Hidan with my tentacles that aren't even legit tentacles. Or something like that. Don't disturb me." Kakazu stated haughtily.

Everyone ignored him as he dragged his partner's body away.

That left Pein, Itachi, Deidara, and Sasori still crowded around Yoru.

"So, what happens when it's ready to…you know…come out?" Sasori asked Pein.

"Hm." Pein pursed his lips. "I'm not sure. I've never really delivered a child before. It's a shame we don't have a woman in this organization; she'd know what to do."

"Actually, we do—" Deidara began.

"Enough chit-chat." Pein cut him off. "Yoru doesn't need a doctor. She has the 69-tails, you know."

"I'm completely beyond trying to rationalize any of this, so I'm just going to agree with you." Deidara admitted. "Un. Un." He added as an afterthought.

"Good boy. See, the 69-tails is so powerful that Yoru will just pop the baby out with no problem."

"Of course she will." Deidara agreed dryly.

"That also explains why the pregnancy progressed so quickly."

"Of course it does."

"The child will have unimaginable strength. I predict the Sharingan in one eye and the Rinnegan in the other. Probably a third eye somewhere with the Byakugan as well, but that one isn't as important. Everyone knows that the Byakugan is for losers."

"It'll make a spiffy puppet for me." Sasori interjected, deciding to reinforce his status as the "creepy puppet guy".

"if u ever touch mah bebe, ill fuckin kill you." Yoru hissed icily, actually managing to look somewhat frightening. Well, frightening to anyone who wasn't an S-ranked criminal with an affinity for puppets and wood in odd places.

"As if you'd be any match for my child." Itachi scoffed.

Sasori paled at the realization that his ginger-headed self wouldn't stand a chance against one of the godly Uchiha's offspring, even if it had been tainted by the genetics of whatever the hell Yoru was. So, being the coward that he is, he high-tailed it on out of there, to avoid any more complicated dialogue.

Deidara followed him, since he is a highly dependent man who likes to take orders and submit to his peers—especially Sasori. They just have that cute friendship that's totally heterosexual in such a bromantic way that it's basically the most flaming thing in the world.

Anyway, after that the party pretty much ended. Pein wandered off to go be leaderly somewhere else, and Itachi disappeared to some dark room to angst about the fact that he was going to be a father of a child with the unfortunate name of "Fuyu". (They'd already decided to name their children after the seasons, and Yoru's obsession with cold things—could that be a pun?—assured him winter would be first on the list.)

Leaving poor Yoru all alone with the demon-fetus brewing inside of her.

Oh dear.

(A/N) Ohhh a cliffie r u gais ecited 4 da beeb?

So whenever I'm having a bad day I just write more for this. It makes me feel like 10x better :D

Let me know if you think it goes over the top though. I don't want to get tooooo carried away haha :)

I'd like to thank Zoids Fanatic for reviewing the last chapter as well :D