This is probably the most emotional chapter of fanfiction I have ever written. The beginning is kind of sappy, really, and if this chapter doesn't have major Solana/Spenser hints, I don't know what does. It was fun though, especially the battle with Darkrai. Okay, you can read it now instead of just reading stuff that I wrote about what I wrote. :) That was confusing. Okay, here it is!

Spenser

Solana and I climbed up the stairs to the entrance of the Relic. Solana's face seemed to be only determined. She just had no idea what she was going to be up against. I wanted to tell her she was crazy and maybe knock her out and fight the Darkrai myself. However, she would definitely never talk to me again if I did that, so I had to cross that off the list. Honestly, all I could do was support her and make sure she doesn't get killed. Cause I don't care if she never talks to me again, if she's in serious danger I'm getting her out.

"So this test is only for Fiore leaders?" She asked thoughtfully.

"Yeah," I nodded, "Our area bases were the way that the Ranger Union got started. There's only four of them, so whoever was in charge had to prove their worth."

"So you took it," she said, more of a statement than anything.

"Yeah," I answered shortly.

"And?"

"And it's not something that you want to repeat," I said grimly.

"But you would try to convince me to step aside to let you do it anyway," Solana replied evenly and I found that I didn't like where this conversation was going. Now I was going to have to talk about my feelings and Arceus knows how much I wanted to do that right now, especially since I was feeling so confused about anything to do with Solana.

"Yes, Solana," I answered calmly, "because I'm a Ranger and it's my job."

She was still studying me in that way of hers, as if trying to see exactly what it was I was thinking. I couldn't meet her eyes. "Spense," she looked at me, grinning, "I'm gonna be fine, you know. You don't have to worry about me."

"I'm not worrying," I protested, then caught the knowing look in her eyes, "Okay, maybe a little. A tiny bit."

"It's cute," she grinned at me, taking my hand and squeezing it, "But I'll be fine." We reached the top and she faced me before entering the Relic. I have to say, for all my confused feelings, I definitely knew one thing: I didn't so much mind this whole hand-holding thing. I could get used to it.

"Just be smart, okay?" I found that I couldn't break into a smile at this point. There was finally a situation where I couldn't joke my way out of things. I had to face the truth in more ways than one. I felt the urge to kiss Solana and hold onto her and never let her go off and do anything stupid or dangerous ever, but I knew I couldn't and the moment passed like any other.

"Yeah," Solana answered, then looked down to see how tightly I was holding onto her hand. I let go, a bit embarrassed. She didn't say anything about it, but turned toward the entrance. "Let's wrangle ourselves a Darkrai."

Solana

I entered the Relic, ready for anything. And I wasn't disappointed. Sure, enough, Darkrai was there waiting for me. I felt a sudden swoosh in my stomach. I hadn't been nervous or scared up to this point, but seeing it there so real and looking like it came straight out of a nightmare suddenly scared the crap outta me.

"Is there anything you're supposed to say?" I asked hesitantly, not quite sure how this was supposed to be done.

"Yeah, something about you being an awesome ranger and asking you if you want to take on this great responsibility and you say 'I do' a couple of times," he responded, eyes locked on the Darkrai. I wondered if he was thinking about his own experience with it. "Anyway, it's all water under the bridge really."

"Do you think Elita would say that?" I asked. The Darkrai's eyes were starting to glow. That wasn't a good sign, was it?

"Elita's not here," he replied quickly, "Just focus on capturing this thing and we'll get out of here."

"Any last minute advice?" I asked as the Darkrai inched closer to me. Spenser backed off, letting me do my own thing. He'd better not try to help me unless I'm an inch from death. I had to pass this test on my own to prove I was ready.

"Just remember who you are," Spenser answered cryptically. That's when the full force of the Darkrai's attack hit me. The memories passed in front of me in a flash and each one of them caused the same emotions they did when they happened, only intensified.

I was five years old, playing with blocks in kindergarten by myself because I didn't want to talk to anyone. My mother had just left me with her best friend from high school and took off, going Arceus knows where. Even at five, I knew the feeling of being unwanted. I could tell when I was a burden.

Vaguely, I could also feel myself in the real world as I activated my styler, trying to push through the pure emotion of what I was seeing. I could hear Spenser yelling something about staying focused and remembering who I was- that stupid advice again- and I started doing what Rangers do best- drawing circles.

My mind was under attack. The years of my short life were passing by now, but all I seemed to be reminded of were the bad times. The loneliness. The feeling of not being wanted. Being a burden, constantly, to whoever was taking care of me at the time as I was switched back and forth between distant relatives and "friends of the family". There was no stability. There was no love. No care. No sense of belonging or home.

I was still circling the Darkrai, but I was careless because of my distractions. My styler energy was dropping lower and I forced myself to focus. I heard Spenser's voice in the background of everything that was going on and I held onto it. Even though the words were meaningless to me, I could use it to block out the other emotions the Darkrai was throwing at me- fear, loneliness, sorrow, hatred, jealousy, and every other negative feeling I had ever felt in my life.

You know what your life is? I could hear a voice in my head, taunting me from afar, and I tried to block it out, but found I couldn't. It's just another sob story. You're just another unwanted kid. Nothing special. You're still the same little kid who was left at the closest doorstep. Nobody ever cared about whether you went to class or got straight A's. Do you honestly think that things have changed?

I told that voice in my head to shut up until it got tinier and tinier. The bad memories were crowded out by the good ones. The feeling I got the first time I captured a Pokemon. Listening to Murph as he composed his own theme song. Lunick and I having our own party thrown for us after defeating the Go-Rock Squad. Spenser and I holding hands, even though I was half-asleep. I had a home now. I had people who cared about me. Everything had changed from my childhood days. I had grown up way too much in the past five years to let my own fears defeat me.

I was so close now. I could feel the Darkrai's power over me getting weaker, but it still had one last thing to throw at me. It wasn't even a memory, more of a true nightmare. The feeling of loss hit me right square in the chest and I almost couldn't breathe for a second.

The feeling of him being gone. Spenser. I would go to my styler to message him and find I couldn't. Every time that I heard Lunick say something about Aria or had eggs in the morning or saw a pillow or filed reports for the Union, I would think of him. He would be everywhere. And the worst thing would be to never have told him how I had felt.

Out of all the things that Darkrai had thrown at me, this was the worst. I had gotten over my past. That was long gone. It was the future that scared me. I couldn't control the future. It was dark and unknown and the variable to every equation. No matter how hard you tried, sometimes the future was just set. There was no changing destiny.

Suddenly, I heard my styler ding and I looked down at it curiously, as if I couldn't understand it. "Solana, you did it," I heard Spenser's voice and when he shook my shoulder, I came to, "You captured Darkrai."

I looked at the Darkrai in front of me, beaten and shamed, and yet still defiant. This Darkrai hated. It hated with such pure energy that I wondered how it didn't just explode with it. What would I do with it now?

Luckily, Spenser seemed to have an idea. "Listen, Darkrai, let us help you," he said softly and I thought he was going crazy for a second. Why was he talking to it? "Let me call the Union and have one of our specialists come and find out what's wrong. We want to help you."

Spenser winced and I guessed that he was having a voice talking in his head as well. "I didn't- I just wanted to help-" He appeared to be in pain. The Darkrai let out a pulse of pure energy and the room wavered for a minute. Then I saw Spenser fall to the ground a split-second before I did and I blacked-out, glad to be unable to feel anymore.