The Truth About Paper Mario

Prologue – The (Stupid) Story of The Star Spirits

Note: This story was inspired by NCHammer326's Kingdom Hearts: The Short and Honest Version, which is the best fanfiction ever.

Nintendo's PAPER MARIO starts off in book form.

ME: Heh…guess it's not called Paper Mario for nothing.

NARRATOR: This is the story of Star Spirits and Good Wishes. Above the clouds is a haven where the stars live, they watch over this item called the Star Rod.

ME: Hehehehehe, Star ROD.

The page flips, and there's a cutout of KAMMY KOOPA attached to it with tape.

NARRATOR: Instead of taking out the cutout, I'm going to put the story on hold just to whine. WHO PUT THAT THERE?

?: GWAHAHAHA I DID IT! I'MA BEAT MARIO! THOUGH I CAN JUST RIP OUT ALL THE PAGES, OR EDIT THEM, I'LL JUST TAKE THIS STAR ROD AND USE IT AGAINST MARIO! I'LL KICK HIS BUTT WITH THIS THING!

The first thing that comes to the NARRATOR's mind is that the VILLAIN is gay.

NARRATOR: Though pleading won't help, I'll do it anyway. Stop it! Cut it out, Bowser! You're changing the story!

BOWSER: That's the point. GWAHAHAHA!

NARRATOR: Could I see that for just a second?

BOWSER: Sure.

He hands it to him.

BOWSER: You're not gonna foil my plans, are you?

NARRATOR: Nah, I'll wait for Mario.

He flips the page and looks at the script that he hid in there.

NARRATOR: Now Star Kids may rise to the Star Haven to deliver people's wishes… …but those wishes will not come true. Whatever can they do?

He gives it back to BOWSER.

NARRATOR: Wow…that's dumb. Why go through all of that trouble of flying and delivering in the first place, if the wishes aren't going to come true? Whatever, at least it can't get any stupider. Tell me what happens in the end.

ME: End of Prologue, now we can get to the good part!

FANS: I just now realized something…the prologue doesn't start until AFTER the story of Star Spirits and Good Wishes. This should technically be "Before Prologue", since the first part after this is marked "PROLOGUE".

PMarioOwnsRiku takes off his headphones.

ME: What did you say?

FANS: ….Nothing.

ME: Okay. END OF PROLOGUE!