THE VIEWERS are treated to more non-playable scenes, but at least we finally get to see the MARIO BROS. It starts with a PARAKOOPA putting mail in their mailbox.

PARAKOOPA: Since I'm too lazy to just fly into the house and hand it to you two, I'll just place this here mail in the mailbox.

LUIGI gets the mail.

LUIGI: Seeing as you're mentally ill, I'll read it to you.

PEACH (in the letter): I'm throwing a party at my castle today! Mario and Luigi, I would be honored if you both could attend. Many guests from distant towns are hoping to meet you. There will be tasty sweets and all kinds of entertainment! I hope to see you here soon!

MARIO and LUIGI go into a WARP PIPE, and into TOAD TOWN. Then they go into PEACH'S CASTLE.

MARIO: Ah, I remember this from the last game.

LUIGI: Yeah, this place brings back memories. Say, did you ever get your kart inside?

MARIO: Nope.

MARIO talks to some NPCs, but nobody cares about them.

PEACH: Hello there, Mario! Do come to my room, won't you? Luigi, stay behind.

LUIGI: Why?

PEACH: Even though having you around would probably make this game sell more, Mario and I don't want you to be exposed to such retardedness.

They leave LUIGI behind.

PEACH begins to strip, but for some reason, the ground begins to shake. Then the castle lifts up into the sky.

PEACH: What? With the ground shaking, you'd think the castle would sink to the ground, not LIFT ITSELF TO THE SKY.

BOWSER crashes through a window on his KLOWN KOPTER, because he needs spelling lessons. Then an OLD HAG OF A WITCH flies through the window.

BOWSER: GWAHAHAHA LONG TIME NO SEE PRINCESS PEACH! NOW I CAN RAPE YOU!

PEACH: Bowser! You did all of this just for me?

BOWSER: Blahblahblah, I lifted the castle to the sky, it's sitting on my castle now.

PEACH: Mario! Kick his butt! Wait a minute; didn't you die in the last game?

BOWSER: No, in the last game, Mario only threw me into mines, and they didn't kill me.

ME: She means Mario Kart 64, I swear you got pushed into the lava by Toad in Bowser's Castle.

BOWSER: Nobody dies in spinoffs/side games.

PEACH: Nothing makes sense anymore.

MARIO shows up in front of Peach to defend her.

BOWSER: Huh! What? It's…Mario! What a shock! Ha! Not really! I expected you to turn up, right on cue. You're just as annoying as ever.

PEACH: Haven't you learned your lesson? Or did all those jumps to your head give you brain damage?

BOWSER: This time I'm gonna win!

PEACH: That's what they all say.

BOWSER: Okay, tough guy, let's go!

MARIO gets ready to jump on BOWSER's head as the outline of a star forms around the screen and spins and closes until it covers it all. In the battle, MARIO somehow ends up ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE SCREEN, with BOWSER on the right. PAPER MARIO turns out to be an RPG.

PEACH: How did that happen? Oh well, you can do it!

BOWSER: GWAHAHAHA! I'LL DEFEAT YOU NOW! This time, I was smart enough to take it to a place with no lava, bottomless pits of any sort, mines, or any other traps!

The top of the screen shows:

HP: 10/10

FP: 5/5

STAR IN AN ORB: 0

COINS: 0

MARIO's current option is JUMP. There are also ITEMS and STRATEGIES, but you can't select those now.

PEACH: Well no shit, it's all you can do.

MARIO jumps. BOWSER claws him. This happens two more times.

BOWSER: Your pathetic attacks won't beat me today!

BOWSER uses his third turn to take out the STAR ROD.

PEACH: I was right, he's brain damaged. Did you steal that from Kirby? What a waste of a turn!

BOWSER: I actually got permission to use it. Kirby said I could use it if I modified it a little bit, and CRUSHED YOU! His games will be on top once I crush you!

PEACH: You honestly think KIRBY, of all people, will outsell us? His games just consist of spitting and swallowing.

MARIO: Yeah, like you do with m-

PEACH slaps MARIO.

PEACH: The viewers don't need to know about our unscripted sex life!

BOWSER: It can grant any wish in the whole wide world!

PEACH: Really? Whole wide world? Who says that anymore?

BOWSER starts glowing as he starts to exert star outlines from his body. He claws MARIO, taking out a whopping 3 HP!

PEACH: Hey, no fair! You used your turn already!

An annoying alarm noise begins to play as the word "DANGER!" appears above MARIO.

MARIO jumps on him, but nothing happens.

BOWSER: Gwa ha ha ha ha ha! Is that all you've got? How sad! You'd best take some vitamins, 'cause that didn't hurt at all! Actually, you'd probably be better off with steroids.

BOWSER claws MARIO. MARIO jumps on him, but again, nothing happens. This is painfully lame.

BOWSER: Now to finish you off. FLAMETHROWER!

It takes out the rest of his health, taking him down. MARIO spins around before fainting.

PEACH: Mario! Get up!

BOWSER: YES! I DID IT! Now to get rid of him, he's useless now.

Using his STAR ROD, BOWSER strikes him with lightning, somehow sending him out of the window.

PEACH: NOOOO! MARIOOOO!

MARIO flips and falls down the beautiful starlit sky. Then the clouds cover the screen. The PAPER MARIO logo rises to the middle of the screen. The next thing you see is a curtain with a checkerboard floor. The word "PROLOGUE" shows up in big letters, with "A Plea from the Stars" in smaller letters under it.

Mario is last seen lying in a forest.

WILL MARIO EVER GET UP? OR HAS BOWSER FINALLY WON? FIND OUT ONCE AND FOR ALL IN THE NEXT EPIC CHAPTER!