Setting: After series
Genre: General/Angst/Definite romance in this chapter
Rating: PG (not changing)
Summary: Four years is a long time to be missing, but it doesn't stop Barnaby from trying to find his partner, Wild Tiger, who went MIA those four years ago. By chance, a man of strikingly similar warmth crosses his path; he is everything that Kotetsu was, but at the same time everything about him is wrong.

Once Lost Yet to Return

"…and the look on her face was priceless! I think she had a better opinion of me after I retrieved her son's gold pin," Akira laughed, taking a sip from the wine glass in his hand. Barnaby only smiled, shaking his head before taking a sip from his own glass.

"You are certainly one extraordinary teacher," Barnaby commented. The man only grinned at him, swirling the deep red contents of his glass. They were currently sitting in Akira's living room; the radio was tuned in to some soft mellow jazz playing quietly in the background, an open bottle of red wine sitting on the coffee table in front of them. William had stepped out for the night to go bar-hopping with some friends, leaving the pair with the whole complex to themselves. Barnaby sighed wistfully, simply enjoying the other's company as he listened to him tell all sorts of stories. It was drawing close to eight months now since he met Akira, and the times they spent together were few and far between, but they were the best moments of the blonde's life.

While he knew he should be more diligent with trying to find his missing partner, he was finding it harder and harder to really put the focus and almost obsessive devotion he had before, without thinking about how the elder Hero would scold him. If given a choice, he knew Kotetsu would rather have him continue on with his life then waste it trying to find him. That man just simply couldn't stand having someone worrying or anguishing over him.

"You sure it's alright for you to be here? I mean – what about 'duty call' and all that?" Akira asked.

"It's fine – if I get a call, then I'll have to apologize to you and be on my way," Barnaby answered plainly. For some reason, it made the other chuckle a little, Akira finishing what little wine was left in his glass before reaching for the bottle to pour another glass.

"Ah, well – long as you know your priorities then," he held the bottle up to the blond, noticing he was getting a little low as well. Barnaby debated about it for a moment, but decided to go for it holding his glass up so the dark-haired man could fill it. It seemed unlikely that he'd be getting any emergency calls tonight, not at this hour at least. The two settled into a comfortable silence, sitting back and savouring the taste of the wine as they ponder what topic to talk about next.

"How's, um, the searching been?" Akira finally asked hesitantly. Mint green eyes glanced at him with a curious look, seeing the other rub his neck. "I mean – I know it's not my place to tell you what to do, but it sounded like it was pretty important to you. So – just wondering if you had any luck."

"I… took your advice instead, actually," Barnaby admitted. Honey-brown eyes turned to stare at him in slight surprise; the blond looked away, staring into his glass. "Well that is – thinking about, this person would be very upset with me if I continued the way I was going…"

"Person? Wait – so you're actually looking for someone?"

"…yes… this person was… very important to me," Barnaby answered slowly. He hadn't quite told Akira what it was he was looking for, but the man hadn't really asked about it either. He wasn't really sure what was compelling him to tell the man either – or maybe he was finally just this comfortable with him. Akira hummed as he took another sip, staring up to some spot on the wall opposite of them.

"Must be to run yourself ragged like that; family member? Or lover?"

"No, just a very good friend to me," the younger began, gazing sadly to the carpeted floor. "They – changed me, helped shape me into who I am today; if it weren't for them, I doubt I'd be able to appreciate life as it is, so I'm very grateful to them."

"Sounds like a pretty influential person."

"Probably more so than they realised," Barnaby laughed softly as he spoke. There was an odd sort of understanding between them as silence settled once again. Akira reached over from where he was sitting, gently tapping the Hero on the shoulder, flashing him a warm smile as forest green eyes turned to blink at him.

"If you ever want help finding them, I'm pretty good at picking a face out of the crowd," Akira offered. "Got to be, since I have to keep track of fifteen to twenty kids on field trips," he joked, seeing a small smile light up fair features.

"I'll let you know if I need an expert opinion," Barnaby teased in return, seeing the man take a fake stab at his chest. "In return, I'll help you find what you're looking for." That last statement earned Barnaby a strange look from the elementary teacher; amber-honey eyes looked at him with a confused expression. Barnaby felt his cheeks heat up, quickly turning his face away from the other to hide his embarrassment. Akira blinked at him a few more times, before reclining back in his seat with a sigh, taking a rather large drink of his wine.

"What makes you think I'm looking for something?" he asked warmly. Barnaby shifted in his seat for a moment, not daring to face the man.

"…the way you said it… when we first met – that wasn't just passing advice," he explained. "It sounded like the kind of advice you would give from experience – not just because you see someone suffering and want to alleviate their pain." There was a long moment of pause from the man, before an odd sort of smile appeared on his face, swirling the red liquid in his glass.

"You're pretty sharp for your age, I'll give you that," he complimented. For some reason that made Barnaby feel even more self-conscious, quickly downing the last of his wine in his own glass. Akira lectured something about "wasting" good wine, but settled for pouring the Hero another glass.

"So, I'm right then?" Barnaby questioned.

"Yeah, you're right, but… well, what I'm looking for isn't quite as tangible as a person, I'm afraid," the auburn haired man sighed, lifting his glass to his face, watching the light bounce off the surface. Barnaby only blinked at him, watching him as he waited for the other to continue on; when it didn't seem like he would, the blond decided to take the initiative.

"What are you looking for exactly?"

"…my past…" Akira finally said after a long stretch of silence. Barnaby looked at him in surprise, watching him as he put the glass down on the table. Akira leaned back with a heavy sigh, closing his eyes for a moment, hands folded across his lap as began to explain further.

"I – apparently was caught up in a horrible accident four years ago; I was told I was in a coma for a year, and when I woke up – I couldn't remember anything at all."

"Do you… remember anything about the accident? Anything at all?" Barnaby's voice quivered as he asked that. Although he had long accepted the fact, hearing that the man sitting next to him had been involved in an accident that could've happened around the same time his partner disappeared was a little – unnerving. Akira shook his head.

"Nothing – not my name, my age, where I came from, nothing; everything was a complete blank," he grieved. "The person who took care of me said I was practically dead, and the doctors weren't even sure I'd wake up. I was told – I kind of threw a fit when I first woke up; something about being shocked by my environment or something, didn't really pay that much attention to the psychiatrist."

Barnaby only sat and listened quietly to the man trying to tell his story – of what little he could remember of it. Even the basics of how to interact with other people had been lost to him, Akira explaining how after he re-learned social cues and behaviors he spent the next three months trying to figure out who he was.

"I went everywhere, but I just – didn't recognize anything, or anyone. 'Akira Hurst' was just like a tag to me at the time, because people needed something they could call me by; I didn't like it," the man's tone darkened a little, as his hands tightened together. Barnaby didn't really know what to say; he couldn't imagine what it had to have been like for Akira – not knowing who you were, or even what your own personality was like. It was as if the man had just suddenly become a blank sheet of paper with years and years of history erased without warning. "I was obsessed with it; I couldn't bring myself to think about anything else except to finding out who I was."

"So how did you let it go? Obviously, you did somehow, I mean – you wouldn't be who you are now, right?"

"Ah that – it's kind of ironic, really… I'm not exactly sure why, but this kid just ran up to me one day and stabbed me in the stomach," Akira explained casually. Barnaby was sure his jaw slacked a little, seeing as the older man snickered softly, nodding his head. "Yeah, I'm not too sure of it myself – and in the holiday crowds, he easily slipped away."

He continued on with the tale, saying how he didn't even let the pain or the blood stop him from wandering, only finally stopping when his legs gave way and he collapsed near an alleyway. He could remember the people passing by him, ignoring him thinking he was some sort of homeless beggar. He remembered thinking how pathetic the situation was to him – he woke up as a nobody, and there he was, going to die as a nobody.

"And then that's where Will comes in – I know he's an ass most of the time, but he's got a soft spot for picking up strays," Akira joked. "He's the one who picked me up, brought me home and treated my wound." He paused a moment to let the prospect that his housemate could actually have a good heart sink in with the younger man, before he continued on.

"I still remember the view when I woke up – I remember looking out the window at the snow and thinking, 'how beautiful'," there was a tenderness in the dark-haired man's posture as he spoke, eyes turning to stare up at the ceiling overhead. "I had spent so long trying to figure out who I was, that I completely missed the seasons changing; I didn't even notice how white or soft new fallen snow was, what it felt like to see people smiling, hearing laughter ringing in my ears – I was missing everything."

"And you let it all go just like that? After realizing all the things you were letting slip by?" Barnaby questioned, genuinely intrigued at the other's courage. Akira laughed, shaking his head.

"Oh god no – it was hard, I mean, really hard to 'let it go' just like that, but… I guess I had some help. I still think about it from time to time, but I'm – happy as I am now," he smiled. "I might've been a good person, or I might've been a bad person, who knows but… I look at this like a clean slate, a chance to start my life over again, you know? I mean, I wouldn't turn away the chance to find out who I am, but – I'm happy with the person I am now."

Barnaby only regarded him with silence and slight amazement; he didn't think he would transition quite as well as the man sitting on the couch with him had. He had just barely managed to keep himself together during the year he took off from the Hero business, trying to find some sort of purpose or meaning to his life. He had spent months just aimlessly wandering in and out of his apartment, with no real direction or goal to dictate his life; he had considered contacting Kotetsu during that year, but he figured the other was busy trying to rebuild his own life and had his own issues to worry about. It was almost inspiring, hearing how this man was able to settle with his life 'as is', without being haunted by the weight of a past he had lost.

They talked for several more hours, conversations going this way and that, sometimes talking about past episodes of HeroTV, other times talking about normal life in general. Their evening finally came to an end when Barnaby glanced up at the oddly shaped red clock housed up on a shelf over the TV and saw it read just past midnight. He put his glass down on the coffee table next to the nearly empty bottle of wine, before slowly getting up to his feet.

"It's getting late – I should be going," he pointed out. Akira only gave him an owl look before stealing a glance from the clock, letting out a hum in agreement.

"Just as well – Will's probably going to be stumbling back here soon." His own glass joined the empty one the blond had put down, standing up with a stretch as his back cricked and cracked, groaning something about getting old. Barnaby only smiled, walking over to the coat rack on the wall by the door to retrieve his jacket; Akira walked behind to open the front door him, flinching at the cold air brushing in.

"Thanks for tonight – I enjoyed our talks," Barnaby nodded as he pulled his jacket close. Akira only waved a hand as he grinned.

"I should be thanking you – you're a good kid, keeping this old man company when you could be out with a cute date," he teased. The blond only shook his head, but still smiled nonetheless. He bid goodnight and started down the steps, amber-honey eyes watching him with a far-off look.

"…Hey – um, Barnaby?" Akira suddenly called out timidly. He stopped just as he reached the bottom of the stairs, mint green eyes looking over his shoulder to blink at the older man curiously. Akira didn't say anything, walking out into the snow in his house slippers, stopping just a step above Barnaby as he held on to the black iron railing, leaning over to lightly press his lips against pale pink ones. Barnaby froze at the soft touch against his skin, barely having time to react before the auburn haired man pulled away in an instant.

"…good night…" he whispered softly. He quickly turned to run up the stairs, trying not to slip on the ice, hoping to make it through the door before the blond had time to respond. He wasn't expecting the hand that grabbed his wrist that quickly, holding him in place as he sensed the other's presence come up behind him. He tensed as the blond turned him to face him, nearly jumping at the hand reaching around the back of his head, pulling their faces close together. Honey-brown eyes went wide in surprise as Barnaby placed his mouth over his in a much deeper, more thoughtful kiss compared to the peck he tried to sneak in. Akira couldn't respond for a moment before he felt his body relax into the embrace, reaching his free arm around the slender waist; Barnaby had let his wrist go, using the chance to wrap his arm around the broad shoulder, Akira taking him completely around the waist.

After what seemed like an eternity in senselessness, Barnaby pulled away first his breathing slightly labored and a dark pink flush colouring his cheeks. Akira's face was just as red, his breathing heavier than the blonde's slowly letting his arms slide away from the warm body as he was released.

"Good night," Barnaby whispered back, almost like he was afraid that the words would break the mood. Akira didn't say anything, only nodding his head; there was a long moment of silence between them before Barnaby backed away slowly, treading back down the steps. He only looked briefly over his shoulder to where the stunned teacher was standing, quickly looking away as he headed off down the dimly lit sidewalk. Akira only watched him go, fingers hesitantly touching his lips at the warmth still lingering from the kiss they just shared; that had surprised him. It had felt… surprisingly nice.

"…I saw that…" Akira nearly jumped a foot in the air at the sudden voice, eyes darting to the side to where William was hiding in the shadows. Sharp dark eyes were glaring at him menacingly, the corners of his mouth drawn in a sharp frown and looking far too sober for someone who just hopped through six different bars.

"Will, hey! When did – how… um… how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," Will's tone was grim. The elder didn't say anything, quickly ducking into the house before he froze to death, the shaggy haired man following in strides after. The door slammed hard, William not even bothering to tear at his winter gear as he regarded his partner with a furious gaze.

"What are you thinking? Tell me – what the hell are you thinking, Akira?" he asked, not holding back the rage or contempt in his voice.

"I wasn't…" the man grieved, pulling off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. William made a strangled noise of frustration, pacing a bit before he took in a deep breath, making a calming motion with his hands.

"No, you know what… s'all cool, fine, fine – you like another guy, okay I'm cool with that – are you out of your fucking mind?" he snapped. "He's a fuckin' Hero! What happened to that 'safe' distance you were bragging about, huh?"

"I wasn't expecting him to kiss me back…"

"Oh really? Sure seemed like hell he would! What the fuck make you think he wouldn't, huh? Sorry, but my gaydar's been off the charts since you starting being all 'giggly' with the guy! What – were you trying to stimulate some sort of awkward, keep-your-distance tension? Cause let me tell you – there's tension now, and not the disturbed kind! How could you –"

"I thought he was in love with someone else, alright!" Akira finally snapped, looking up at the dark-haired man ranting at him. William fell silent at the statement, hands dropping to his side as he refrained from saying anymore. Akira sighed, burying his face in his hand, "I thought… I was expecting to be rejected, alright? I didn't think… the way he was always talking about some person, I thought he was in love with them. So when he kissed me back, I couldn't…" He stopped, not really sure where his thoughts were going, or where they even were at the time when his body had moved without thinking. All anger and fury melted away from Will as the tension in his shoulders relaxed, staring at his partner with a troubling look.

"…You know he watches us every waking hour of the day…" he stated softly. "…He's going to make you kill him, Akira…" The other didn't say anything; he pulled out a cleaning cloth from his back pocket, quickly wiping the lens of his glasses clean before putting them back on his face.

"…I know…" No more words past between them, William realizing just how warm he felt still wrapped up head to toe in a winter coat and scarf, quietly pulling them off as he headed upstairs to his room. Barely two hours had passed before there was a quiet knock on their front door, both knowing immediately what it was despite this early hour in the morning. Will went to answer it, pulling the door open to find no one there – it was usually like that. He opened the flap of the mailbox hanging on the wooden wall lining their house, eyeing the thickly wrapped package tucked inside. He pulled it out, quickly closing the door behind him as he crossed the living room, reaching for the mini player hiding on the shelf.

Once he had plugged the player up to the TV and set it up, he ripped the package wrapping open, sliding out a small black disc into his palm, placing it in the open compartment. He picked the remote up from the coffee table, sitting down on the couch next Akira, who had been staring at everything but the screen. Before William could turn on the TV, a hand covered over his, stopping him. Dark eyes only gazed at the man next to him, seeing a strange flicker of conflict he had never seen before in light brown eyes.

"…we'll have to know the details…"

"What's there to know – I already know it's meant for me."

"…it might have a set up plan he wants us to use."

"I don't need it…" Akira stood up, taking the remote from long tanned fingers. "I'm doing this my way, whether he likes it or not. I need… time to prep, that's all." William didn't say anything. Akira put the remote down on the table, heading towards the stairs to lock himself in his room for a while – most likely to plan his next move and the next ten steps ahead for this. However, he knew it was just an excuse – Akira wanted the time to nullify the feelings he had developed, the shimmer of humanity that was slowly blooming in him. Will couldn't help the sick feeling settle in his gut; Akira wanted no regrets, and the fact that this man was scared of his own emotions – of becoming "human" again, it was – more than just terrifying. He folded his hands together, leaning his elbows on his knees as pressed his chin against them, forcing himself not to rock in his seat; he didn't want to admit it, but he had been – somewhat glad Akira had been reaching out to the Hero.

Even though he knew it was probably the worst idea in the world, there were things the blond had brought out in Akira that were never there before. He was beginning to feel for the more innocent targets they had acquired; not to the point that was socially normal, no – he still didn't feel regret for killing them, but he was beginning to show mourning. Lighting a candle for the undeserving victim after they came back from a mission, or leaving a single rose at the grave stone several days after the kill – little things, like an apology that their life was taken away from them so cruelly; it wasn't the same as guilt, but it was a definite improvement. William sighed, raking his fingers through his shaggy bangs; he didn't even want to think how this kill would change Akira, if it did at all.

And it was that thought that was scaring him the most – that after Akira killed Barnaby he would be the exact same person as he had always been before the Hero came into the picture.

-Chapter Twelve/End-