Chapter 6

Tough Choices, Weak Enemies

Note: I have merged the last two chapters together. Why? Because.

A catchy remix of Super Mario Bros. 3's Overworld Theme plays as MARIO tries to decide which stat to boost.

MARIO: Hmm…maybe I could raise my HP by 5. But then, I might not really need it. The enemies here are really weak. 3 more BP doesn't sound like a bad idea, but I don't know if I want to stick more badges through myself. 5 more FP sounds cool, that way it'll take me more turns to run out. LOOK OUT WORLD, I'M LEVEL 2 AND I HAVE 15 FP!

MARIO hits a tree and gets a Star Piece, then finds a blue switch in a bush.

MARIO: Ooh! What does this button do?

He jumps on it, and then GOOMBA KING comes out.

GOOMBA KING: Um, Mario, good fight and all that. But if you find a switch, don't press it. It's dangerous. Of course, I could have just kept it in this castle where you can't see it, but logic wasn't on my side.

MARIO: It never was. What's a dangerous switch doing outside? Oh, and you're about five seconds too late. I pressed it already.

GOOMBA KING: WHAT? OH NOOOO!

The top of the castle unfolds and turns into a bridge, for some reason. Then GOOMBA KING is sent flying.

MARIO: Well that was pointless. You know where I can find a pair of scissors?

GOOMBARIO: Say, what happened to the red and blue Goombas?

MARIO: Who knows, maybe they died in the explosion.

They go through the fortress and cross the bridge, not knowing that KAMMY KOOPA is stalking them. She then flies up, probably because she's not prepared for an ass kicking.

In the sky, there are two castles stacked on top of each other, with spiked balls hanging from it with chains.

KAMMY KOOPA comes to BOWSER.

KAMMY: Mighty King Bowser, I've been looking for you.

BOWSER: Are you gonna suck up to me again, or actually tell me something useful?

KAMMY: King Bowser lost!

BOWSER: What? I used the Star Rod to make him bigger because he begged me! Are you sure Mario can't defeat us?

KAMMY: No, he can't, because you're invincible, unless he snatches the Star Rod or something. And I had a feeling Goomba King would fail.

BOWSER: That's good! The Star Spirits don't have any way of giving Mario their power, right?

KAMMY: Nope, they're all separated. Of course, he probably has a map of some sort, and we can't be the only ones who know of the places where we hid them. Good thing you thought that through, because each of those places is guarded by your handpicked subjects!

BOWSER: Yes! Good thing I thought that through! Who's the closest Star Spirit to Mario? It's the one at Koopa Bros. Fortress, right? Mario better not jump on their backs.

Suddenly, the Koopa Bros. land in front of them from the sky and put their thumbs up, causing sparkles.

RED KOOPA BRO: Here come the Koopa Bros.! We're the coolest of cool!

BOWSER: Are you sure they can do it? King Goomba used a bunch of steroids and couldn't even defeat Mario.

RED KOOPA BRO: Psshaw! Get real, King Bowser! Goomba King was huge, but he as a total wimpola! We'll show Mario the real super power of teamwork!

KAMMY: You sound like wannabes. Show King Bowser that attack you do so well!

Off-screen, a huge flash of light appears from their direction.

BOWSER: I'm not sure that has a practical use, seeing as it didn't even blind me or anything, but that's impressive! Mario won't have a chance! By the way, who's guarding the Star Spirit in your fortress?

RED KOOPA BRO: Nobody. We came here after a pizza order, so…

BOWSER: You idiots! Use your heads! Get back there and guard it!

MARIO arrives at TOAD TOWN. There is extra stuff on the way, but he decides not to worry about it right now.

MARIO: I wonder if there are bad Toads and good Toads?

A generic TOAD (probably one of the ones from Super Mario 64) comes up to him.

TOAD: This town is in an uproar ever since Peach got kidnapped and the castle uprooted!

MARIO goes into a nearby pipe and lands…in front of his house.

MARIO: Well, that's convenient.

LUIGI is whistling for some reason.

LUIGI: Mario, you're all right!

MARIO: You survived?

LUIGI: I managed to run outside just as the earthquake started, so I escaped.

MARIO: Boy, are you lucky.

LUIGI looks at GOOMBARIO.

MARIO: I-I can explain. Really.

GOOMBARIO: I'm Goombario. Nice to meet you.

LUIGI: Great. Just great. You get to go on an exciting adventure with Mario, while I have to watch the house.

MARIO: You could come with us; no one's going to steal from our house when there's much better things out there. People are too busy worrying about Peach. And even if you're worried about someone busting into our house, Goombario could guard it. This adventure has been nothing but ridiculous.

LUIGI: Great! Say, what does he do?

MARIO: He does a headbonk, and tattles on enemies to get info.

LUIGI: That sounds useful.

MARIO: You'd think it would be, but he just spouts out the obvious. So, he should watch the house.

LUIGI: I can only imagine what would happen. 'This is a burglar. He will bust into this house if you don't shut up and do something.'

MARIO: Hahahaha!

GOOMBARIO: Oh yeah, well at least I'm going on an adventure!

LUIGI tries to go with them, but the power of plot compels him to stay back.

MARIO: Aww…

LUIGI: Take care of Mario, okay?

MARIO: You're kidding, right?

MARIO goes inside the house and looks at a chalkboard, which has his accomplishments.

MARIO: Holy crap, he knows the exact amount of coins I've earned! He knows how many badges and Star Pieces I have too! Wait; there are 80 badges and 160 Star Pieces out there? You'd think Star Pieces would be a lot rarer, with badges being more common.

GOOMBARIO: He even knows how many enemies you've fought, even the amount of First Strikes you or an enemy got!

Both of them are horrified from this discovery.

HOW DOES LUIGI KNOW ALL OF THIS? IS HE PLANNING TO STEAL FROM THEM? WILL LUIGI EVER OVERCOME THE POWER OF PLOT?

STAY TUNED!