Wow, this is my longest chapter yet. This one is an emotional one as we head back to Spenser and see what happens when he finds out about Solana. Let's just say that he doesn't react well. Luckily, Joel is there for him and this is one of those chapters that I hope really tries to express the friendship between them. I love Joel! :) Even though he probably gets the short end of the stick this chapter.

Enjoy and please review!

Spenser

"Hey, Joel, funny seeing you here again," I grinned as he walked up and sat in the chair next to me. He didn't look at me.

"I wonder why they called us here again," I said, not sure if maybe he just didn't hear my greeting. We were both back at the Union, waiting in the lobby again. Except this time, Sven wasn't anywhere nearby so Joel didn't have to hide.

Joel still didn't look at me. Was he still freaking out about the fact that I didn't make up with Solana? "Joel, what's up with you?" I asked, a little bit worried, "Do you know what this is about? Is it Lucy? Cause honestly, it would be just like her to get in trouble already. She would do it just to drag your lazy butt down here."

Joel didn't meet my eyes, but shook his head. "It's not Lucy, Spense. It's Solana."

My grip on the armrests of the chair got tighter. I took a shaky breath in. "Okay, Joel, not funny. I just saw her. I just fought with her. There's no way she managed to get in trouble already. I mean, even she can't do that, right?" I tried to smile, but I couldn't. She wouldn't do this to me.

"Spense, she got kidnapped," Joel finally said. I shook my head. This was just some mistake. She was going to walk into the Union right now, glaring at me because we were still fighting, and I would tell her I was sorry and it was my fault and I cared too much to fight with her.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Spenser. Not about this," Joel shook his head, then looked at me and I could see that this was something he hated telling me more than anything. My head was spinning. He was telling the truth. He wouldn't lie about this with me. Not this of all things.

"Uh, Chairperson Erma wants to see you in the Operations Room," Rhythmi approached us quietly, meeting my eyes. "I'm sorry, Spenser." That confirmed it. This was so surreal, I couldn't even feel anything. So far, I had felt nothing and that was what scared me most of all. Once I had accepted it had happened, it was almost like my mind couldn't comprehend it. I couldn't understand the concept of Solana being gone. It didn't seem possible.

I stood up and shrugged, "It's not me who got kidnapped."

"I know," she replied, eyes flicking to the ground, "but all the same."

I nodded, unable to say any more. Then the emotion came flooding in and I couldn't stop it. Most of all, I was angry. I was angry at whoever took her and I was angry at her for being so careless to have gotten kidnapped and I was so angry at myself for not being there. I shouldn't be stuck in this stupid building right now. I should be out looking for her. That's what she deserved. I can't believe I had let her walk away mad at me. Stupid, stupid pride.

Joel gently pushed me toward the stairs and I walked up them almost mechanically, already planning out what I would do first. How to get her back here and never let her go. Never fight with her over stupid things and let her walk away. Lock her up in a closet somewhere and never let her out ever again until she swore to never leave me again.

I was so lost in thought, I didn't even realize I was going anywhere until we were actually on the third floor Operations Room. Chairperson Erma was trying to get some kind of a hold on the chaos that was going on. Linda and Marcus were both on duty and were taking multiple calls. Elita was there as well, breathlessly scanning the monitors. She looked up and saw me.

"Spenser, I didn't think- I let Solana go out after Alyssa. I didn't think anything was wrong. I should've-" she twisted her mouth ruefully, "I don't know what I'm trying to say. I guess that I'm sorry."

Why was it that everyone was saying sorry to me? "It's not your fault, Elita," I replied as calmly as I could, feeling a stab of irritation. "What information do we have?" I tried to bottle up my anger as well as I could, but I couldn't help but appear impatient.

"She and Alyssa both disappeared in the Sekra Mountains. It couldn't have been too far from base. Alyssa has this meadow she likes to go to and I think that's where she was when she was kidnapped. Solana went looking for her and probably stumbled onto them. Hence, she was taken as well. However, she wasn't the target of this." Elita shot a look at Erma, who had joined them.

"Kate got a voicemail from Alyssa's kidnappers," the Chairperson explained, "They wanted Alyssa as bait so they could trap Kate. Unfortunately for them, they caught her at a bad time."

"Where is she?" Joel questioned. I wished I could pace, but there obviously wasn't room or the need for that right now. I had to let out some sort of emotion or I was going to explode.

"Almia Castle," Erma replied, "She's on an important mission to try to get the only thing that could possibly cure this Darkrai."

"How is she not here?" Joel asked, knowing that Kate was vengeful when it came to people messing with those she cared about.

"Keith managed to talk her down," Elita explained. I ran a hand through my hair impatiently. None of this mattered. I couldn't be here any longer. I needed to find her. All I really had needed to hear was where she had been seen last.

"What do you need us to do?" Joel flicked a look at me as he asked, knowing exactly what I was thinking. I wasn't going to take any assignment besides getting Solana back. If Erma honestly thought I was going to be thinking about anything other than that, she was crazy.

"You and Spenser will meet up with Sven and Lucy, who are already in Wintown starting the search," Erma replied.

"What about Wendy?" Joel asked, looking concerned, "Who's going to help her with the facility-finding?" Why did he have to ask so many damn questions? We were wasting time!

"Things are getting more serious," Elita put in worriedly, "We had to change things around. We called up Danielle from Pueltown to help out Wendy. Barlow's going to watch Pueltown for her while she's gone, considering it's such a big city. Crawford will take over at Vientown."

"Is there anything else we need to know?" I asked impatiently, for the first time since I had first become a ranger feeling the need to go. I couldn't stay here in the safety of this building any longer. I couldn't be safe while she was in danger. It didn't seem fair.

"No," Erma shook her head, "and I'm sure you're eager to get going." She smiled almost sadly at me and I felt a surge of resentment. Why was everyone pitying me today? It wasn't me who got kidnapped. It wasn't me who was in danger of dying. Erma gave us the nod to leave and I took off for the stairs, taking them two at a time.

"Spenser, wait," I heard Joel call after me. I made it to the second floor before he grabbed my arm and whirled me around. "What is going on? Spenser, you need to calm down. I know this isn't good news to take, but-"

"Joel, just let go of me," I growled back at him, not even realizing what I was doing anymore, "I don't care if you're my best friend, I swear to Arceus, you had better get out of my way." I was threatening him. I was threatening Joel, my best friend since I entered Ranger School at twelve years old. The guy who was had been my rival, but had stuck with me through thick and thin. But why was he doing this? Couldn't he see that I was being torn apart inside?

We were staring each other down, eye to eye, my blue ones to his gray. He wasn't backing down. "We are going to talk," he finally said, grabbing my arm and pulling me into the nearby empty Situation Room, apparently where we wouldn't make a scene. His force took me by surprise and I put up little fight. I didn't expect him to drag me away somewhere.

"You need to talk to me, Spense," he told me, shoving the door shut and standing in front of it. I glared at him. He wasn't moving from the door.

"There's nothing to talk about," I shot back, starting to pace.

"That's bullshit and you know it," he answered, his eyes watching me steadily, "You are too pissed and bitter right now to be anyone like the Spenser I know. We are going to meet up with Sven and Lucy in a little while, and I will not have you taking this out on them because they do not deserve it. If you have to rip someone's head off before you can calm down, then let it be me because I know you and this is not how you want to be." He was right. I could at least acknowledge that. I didn't want to be this way, but I had to. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know who I was any more. Somehow, Solana being gone had changed everything. For the first time in my life, I was so scared I could barely breathe.

"Joel, just move," I hissed, rolling my eyes. I needed him to move right now so badly. I didn't want to start a fight. I didn't want to say things or do things that I was going to regret and now that was exactly the type of thing I might do. "You don't have to protect your girlfriend from me."

"You think I'm doing this for her?" He answered incredulously, "Lucy can take care of herself- I'm not worried about her. It's you I'm worried about. I'm worried that if I let you out of this room before you calm down you're going to do something reckless and get yourself killed."

"So basically, we're not going to leave until I calm down," I stated flatly, taking a few steps closer to Joel. He had to be kidding me. He didn't understand. I needed to find her now. And he was right about me being reckless because I was going to do anything to get her back safely. At this point, my safety wasn't important.

His gray eyes stayed unmoving. "Yeah, that's pretty much it."

I stood there for a moment, weighing my options. There was no way in hell I was going to sit here while she was out there. There was only one way to do this.

That was when the first punch flew. I caught Joel a good one right on the cheekbone and his glasses went flying off. He didn't move for a moment, but then suddenly all his weight went into a punch that slammed into my jaw, making me see stars. I swung at him again, the door forgotten, just wanting to get my anger out on something.

"Don't you get this?" Joel yelled at me as he dodged my close range punch, "I'm trying to take this hit with you, Spenser. But you won't let me."

"Don't even try to act like you know what's going on," I roared in reply, grunting as his fist connected with my rib cage. "You may think you're helping me, but you're not."

I rammed into him, pinning him up against the wall. He managed to hit his elbow into the side of my head, loosening my grip, and slipped free. I swung again at him, this time connecting with his nose. He retaliated with a hard right hook to my eye. That was when we really started the full-blown fighting in the middle of the Sit Room, going punch for punch, neither of us getting the upper hand. Finally he hit me with a sucker punch I didn't see coming and I crumpled. This was when he refused to fight, looking down at me on the ground and shaking his head. "You're not yourself, Spenser, and I won't let you kill yourself over this. You have to stop," he offered me a hand, but I couldn't take it. I stood up myself, still glaring at him, but not punching him anymore.

"Over this?" I hissed back at him, feeling the empty feeling coming back to me, "You won't let me kill myself over this? Well, Arceus, then what will you let me kill myself over? You don't get it. I goddamn love her, Joel. I've loved her for the past four years. But let's just pretend that doesn't matter. Even if I didn't love her, she's my Ranger and I'm responsible for her. It doesn't matter where she goes or how long it's been, she's still one of my Rangers. And I wasn't there for her, Joel. I wasn't there."

"She was all the way on the other side of Fiore when this happened," Joel retorted, trying to make some sense of what I was saying. But he had me talking. He had me talking when all I wanted to do was beat the crap out of somebody. "Whoever's fault it is, it would be ridiculous for you to say it was yours."

"I'm not saying it's my fault," I tried to explain what I was feeling, but it was too hard and the feeling was too intangible. The only thing I could think of was our fight, and it kept coming back and back around in my head. "I just should've told her how I felt," I answered vehemently, "I was too proud to just be the one to make up with her. It was just so stupid. She should know how I feel about her and I didn't tell her. I let her walk away. You told me not to and I did anyway." I closed my eyes, realizing how much I hated myself for that.

"Then we'll find her and you can tell to her then," Joel stressed, somehow knowing that it was just what I needed to hear, "And yes, I'm saying 'we' for a reason, Spense. You have me, Sven, Lucy, and all the resources of the Ranger Union. You're not alone in this, so don't pretend you are."

I leaned against a wall of the Sit Room, thinking for a second. I didn't know how to get through this. It was the uncertainty of not knowing, the fear of not finding her in time, the frustration of knowing she was out there, needing someone, and not being able to get there. I loved her so much it hurt. I had gotten just a taste of it at the Relic as Solana had prepared herself to face the Darkrai. Now, I couldn't stop the hurt. "Please don't block me out, Spense," Joel finally pleaded, "Cause if you do that, I really won't know what to do. I'm here for you."

I took a deep breath, calming myself down finally. There were so many things going on and so many variables, but I knew at least one thing. The moment I couldn't trust my friends was the moment I had lost everything. No matter what happened with Solana, I had Joel. I couldn't hate him for being the one between me and the door. By that action, he had made me realize he was the closest thing to a brother I was ever going to get.

"Okay, Joel, I promise I'm ready," I nodded.

"You're not going to be reckless?" He asked, eyes hesitant.

"I won't be reckless or stupid or angry," I shook my head.

"And you won't hit me again?" Joel said, half a question and half a statement.

I grinned weakly, "I won't hit you again."

"Good," Joel replied, sounding more upbeat than before, "I'm glad that's over with. Cause, honestly, you have a mean right hook."

"Your fighting skills improved a lot," I managed to tease him, feeling a little bit better myself as well, "I remember a few times in Ranger School that Elita was able to pin you down." It felt good to remember those days, when all that was on the mind was what partner Pokemon I would get, what base I would be assigned to, and whether or not Joel was going to kick my ass in the next capturing challenge.

Joel made a face at me. "Just being around Lucy has improved my evasion skills. You couldn't even imagine the amount of times she's taken a swing at me."

"Oh, I can imagine pretty well," I grinned at him. He rolled his eyes.

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah," I nodded, feeling the last of my anger drain away, "Yeah, let's go."

"Uh, we might need to clean up first," Joel pointed out, retrieving his glasses. I was sure I had as much blood on my face as he did.

"If anyone asks, we fell."

"Both of us?" Joel asked skeptically, "At the same time or separately?"

"At the same time. A chain reaction type thing. You tripped and knocked into me. Separately would be too suspicious."

"Us coming out of the sit room with blood on our face and black eyes is going to look suspicious either way."

"Ah, we'll leave most of it to the imagination."

"Sounds good to me."

"By the way, you did acknowledge that Lucy was your girlfriend."

"No I didn't!"

"You didn't correct me when I said it.

"Uh… Oh."

"So then she is your girlfriend!"

"No, at least, she doesn't know that yet."

"But you wish she was."

"Spenser! We are not going to talk about this right now or else we may get in yet another fight."

"You're my best friend, Joel."

"I'd better be. After taking that first punch from you."

"You gave as good as you got, buddy."

"Yeah, you got a little something on your face."

"Blood?"

"And a black eye. And guess who put it there."

That was when I decided I was naming my firstborn child Joel.