Breather-filler chapter of doom...enjoy~

Setting: After series
Genre: General/Angst
Rating: PG (not changing)
Summary: Four years is a long time to be missing, but it doesn't stop Barnaby from trying to find his partner, Wild Tiger, who went MIA those four years ago. By chance, a man of strikingly similar warmth crosses his path; he is everything that Kotetsu was, but at the same time everything about him is wrong.

Once Lost Yet to Return

He knew it was probably a bad idea to be back here, that it was stupid and careless and Barnaby would throw a fit if he knew about it – which was why he was here without the blonde's knowledge. Kotetsu stared up at the towering townhouse with an apprehensive look; the sense of familiarity, the feeling that this had been home for the past two years was hard to shake off. He climbed up the four-five steps leading up to the red door, stopping at the landing; it seemed natural to be here even though it had been abandoned without word days beforehand. He glanced over his shoulders, searching up and down the street cautiously; even though logic told him this area wasn't being watched, he still couldn't shake the feeling of metaphorical eyes stalking him, tracking his every move. He sighed – he'd be doing this for a while.

A hand reached out of the doorknob, finding it locked as expected – that was a good sign. He checked the streets once before flipping open the mailbox, reaching a hand in to scratch at the bottom for a loose corner, peeling away the flimsy flap to reveal a hidden compartment. His fingers curled around the key nestled inside, opening the locked door as he glanced around yet again before stepping into the empty house. Everything had been left as they had left it, meaning the landlord hadn't come by to throw their stuff out, which likely meant their rooms were also untouched. Kotetsu headed towards the stairs to the upper level, heading to the second door on the right – his room. He hesitated a moment outside the door, taking in a deep breath as he assured himself over and over that this place wasn't under surveillance and he was just being overly paranoid.

He turned the handle, stepping into the vacant space and glanced around the tidy room with a strange sense of nostalgia. It felt – admittedly odd being back here with his real memories and the memories he had made as "Akira". Sometimes it felt like the two worlds were overlapping and he had trouble distinguishing himself between the two persons; sometimes he didn't even answer to "Kotetsu" the first time someone calls him that. He shook his head, gently pinching the bridge of his nose; he had been fine the first night his memories returned, but lately he's been getting headaches from all the jumbling in his head. He sighed – more self-issues to work through once everything had settled down, but for now first things first – he needed his spare glasses.

He walked over to the side table by the bed, pulling the top drawer out which housed a few notepads, some loose change and a modest set of pens, finding a blue solid case in the back of the drawer. He pulled it out, clicked it open to take out the black framed glasses inside and slipped them on his face. The world became instantly clearer, letting out a sigh at being able to see properly. Doctors said his eyesight had been partially damaged, but he wasn't completely blind – he could still distinguish vague shapes and colours at short distances, but little things like details or print more than two feet away became blurry, unidentifiable and he was getting tired of having fuzzy vision all the time. Snapping the case shut, he tucked it away in his coat pocket and turned to leave the room, hovering at the doorway as he cast one last glance. He frowned at the empty shelves that once housed his books; they were all in storage now, but it would be too risky to retrieve them without tipping off he was still alive. Pity – even though he wasn't a reader before this whole thing, he had grown a fondness for some of the literature "Akira" had collected.

Bidding one last farewell to his "past" he closed the door and headed back down the stairs to leave; the sooner he got out of this place and out of the public's eye, the better he'd feel. He let out a heavy sigh as he climbed down the steps, halting mid-way as a cold shiver ran down his spine at the lanky figure leaning against the couch in the living room, sharp, dark coloured eyes gazing at him with a blank look. He swallowed, trying to tame to wild flips his stomach was doing as he continued down the rest of the way, preparing himself for a physical assault or any of the sorts.

"Relax, I'm here on my own accord," William assured. "And as far as I know, he doesn't know you're alive." Kotetsu didn't say anything as he reached the bottom landing, still holding his breath as he stared at the young man with a nervous twitch.

"…why didn't you kill me?" he asked after a long stretch of uneasy silence.

"Why did you pretend to die then?" William asked in returned. Kotetsu didn't say anything as he turned his eyes to the floor, hearing the other sigh. "You shouldn't have come back here – granted this place is useless now that Heroes know about it, but still…"

"…I needed my glasses," Kotetsu murmured in response. The raven-head only blinked at him, before letting out a short laugh, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It would've been easier to go to a fuckin' eye-doctor then," he laughed. A strange small smile came to the dark-auburn haired man's face, but no more words passed between them. A heavy silence fell between them, the faint sounds of cars driving by drifting through the walls from outside. Honey-brown eyes looked up at the shaggy-haired man standing in the middle of the room, a serious expression crossing his face.

"Why didn't you kill me?" he asked again. "I'm pretty sure he ordered you and Aldric to kill me if my memories ever returned." William didn't say anything, staring down at the wooden floor boards with a blank look.

"Yeah, he did…he figured he couldn't keep oppressing your memories forever," William explained. "He knew you'd eventually get them back and you'd realise who you were; we were told to kill you the second that happened."

"So why didn't you? I know you – you could've easily done it. Why setup a 'fake' bullet to take me out?" Kotetsu asked curiously. A vague, almost sad smile appeared on the young face, before deep-dark brown eyes looked up to face him with a shrug.

"Hey, what can I say – you turned out to be a pretty likeable guy, even if you didn't know shit about who you were," he answered. "I thought I could do it, even if old man Hurst couldn't but…shit, you're a pretty influential guy, you know?"

"So I've been told," Kotetsu answered with a laugh of his own.

"I guess we were just lucky you were smart enough to play along."

"I admit I was confused at first and almost got back up, but – I guess had a rapid thought about what would happen if I didn't stay down," Kotetsu answered. "But that thing really stung! I thought I really was going to die for a second there." They shared a laugh, even if it was a humorless joke, before falling into an odd silence. They had lived together for the better of two years, shared the same space, worked together on countless missions, and yet now it felt like they were complete strangers. All the short history between them seemed fake and unreal, but perhaps it would be better for them in the long run. William moved first, pushing away from the sofa as he walked over to where Kotetsu was standing, the elder taking a defensive stance on reflex. It made William chuckle at the response.

"Relax, old man Hurst asked me to give this you," he soothed. He reached into the satchel slung around his shoulder, pulling a small, sleek black case with gold trimmings decorating the corners. Kotetsu hesitated as the box was held out to him, taking it with careful hands as he cautiously clicked the case open. He made a startled noise at the handheld gun laid perfectly against the silk cushion lining the case, staring up at William with a confused and worried look.

"Don't worry, it's not a hint or anything – you know Aldric didn't want you in this business in the first place," William quickly assured. "Why do you think he was so desperate to keep you away from him?" Kotetsu didn't say anything as he stared down at the gun inside, snapping the case shut quietly as his bit his lip.

"I – I can't accept this…"

"Not an option – I'm not going back with full hands," William huffed. "Besides, it's – Aldric's first gun…the gun he brought with the money he earned through his own harsh work. He wants you to have it as a keepsake – a reminder." He didn't say anything, glancing to the black case in his hands before letting out an estranged sigh as he looked away.

"Tell him – thanks, I guess…for everything," Kotetsu requested in an unsure tone. The other only glanced at him with a surprisingly soft smile, giving him a slight nod as he headed towards the front door.

"I'll be sure to give him your regards," William waved. He paused with his hand on the knob, staring at the red painted door with a heavy look. "You know – most guys in this business would give up anything to have the chance you've got now," he began, looking over his shoulder to the older man blinking at him. "So don't waste it…Kaburagi, Kotetsu."

Kotetsu didn't say anything, watching the young man disappear through the door and out onto the streets. He didn't move from his spot, looking down at the box between his hands, before letting out a long breathe of a sigh, staring up at the painted ceiling with a smile. How many times could a human be lucky enough to be reborn? He wondered if this was his last string of luck and that the next time he'd really die for sure. He tried not to think about it – right now, he was under the radar and needed to get his life back together somehow and then he could worry about the future once he was stable again.

He waited for fifteen minutes after William left – just to be safe – before leaving the house himself, locking it back up and then tossed the spare key into a dumpster as he headed back to Barnaby's flat before the blond realised he was missing. He tucked the black case under his arm, wondering how he was going to explain this to the fair-haired man. He tried to think of places to hide it that the other wouldn't look, but Barnaby could be too curious sometimes. Kotetsu sighed; maybe he could con Antonio in to keeping it safe for now – he rarely asked too many questions and would promptly forget about it after a day or two. Honey-brown eyes looked up to the overcast sky, just seeing the sun poking its rays through the gaps in the winter clouds; spring was just days around the corner and the snow was clearing up, leaving the grounds wet and slippery. Perhaps after month, when he felt like he wasn't being followed all the time, he'd take Barnaby and Kaede out for a spring walk.

-Chapter Eighteen/End-