I REPRESENT THE LOLLIPOP GUILD AND ANY MENTALLY INSANE PERSON FROM HERE TO THE FLOOR AND THE DEMON CHIKEN OF DOOOOOMMMMM! The results of the poll are in and it seems that Yugao Uzuki and Yugito Nii are at the top of the list… the only thing is, Yugao is dating Hayate so I thing I'll replace her with Tenten. Now I need people to review with some possible ideas of how they meet.

I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR ANY OF HIS AFFILIATES!

NARUTO THE MOKUTON JUMPHER CHAPTER 3

Konohagakure No Sato – 8 years later…

Seven figures approached the gates of Konoha. The 2 Chūnin guards at the gate noticed them and stepped in front of them, blocking their way, "Halt! Who are you and what business do have in Konoha?"

The woman with purple hair and an open trench coat with just fish net underneath, and a 'Super-mini' miniskirt stepped forward and replied, "Tokubetsu Jōnin, Anko Mitarashi, along with ANBU codenamed Dragon, and Elite Jōnin, Arashi Namikaze returning from an 8-year continuous S-ranked mission. We are to report to the Hokage immediately."

The guard held up a hand, stopping the group yet again, "Wait. You seem to have some unfamiliar faces with you." He said as he observed the people traveling with the 3 shinobi. The first one was a boy, about 5' 10", with sun-blond hair and deep ocean blue eyes. At first the guard thought that he was looking at a miniature version of the Yondaime Hokage, but then he saw the whisker-like marks on his cheeks and he gasped in recognition, "Naruto?"

Said jinchuriki grinned at them and said, "Hey Izumo! Hey Kotetsu! How's it going?"

"Wow! I don't believe it! You look so different from that little prank master from Hell that we would help with on his pranks 8 years ago. You've really grownup."

Naruto gave one of his Foxy Grins™ and said, "Yeah, but I'm still the prank master from Hell! Wait till you two hear some of the shit that me and Anko kaa-san have pulled over the past 8 years! You'll be laughing so hard that you might die laughing-OW!" Naruto yelled as Anko bonked him on the head, "I told you to call me Anko-nee-sama! Calling me your kaa-san makes me feel old."

"But you're old enough to be my mother! OW! Damnit kaa-san! Stop throwing those poisoned kunai at me!"

"I'll stop only if you promise not to call me kaa-san and start calling me Anko-nee-sama!"

Kotetsu and Izumo just sweat-dropped. Yeah, same old Naruto. They then started looking at the other members of this bizarre little group. Standing right behind Naruto was a beautiful woman with fire-red hair that went down past her shoulders, she was about 6' 4" and had on a red and black kimono with a yellow sash (A/N: Sound familiar?). The two Chūnin could only stare; this woman was an absolute goddess! Kotetsu was the first to recover and he bowed to her and politely asked, "Why hello there! I don't think I've seen you around here before. What might your name be?"

The beautiful woman smiled and said in a voice that matched her looks, "My name is Ibyuku Konyoo (A/N: Kyuubi No Yoko rearranged and 'Kon' is the sound a fox makes…), and I would like to become a shinobi of Konoha."

Izumo looked at her confused, "But you look to be about our age and that is a little too old to be starting as a shinobi."

Ibyuku just laughed and told him, "Oh this? No this is just me practicing my Henge." She then proceeded to form the Ram hand sign and with a quick "Kai!" the Henge dropped to reveal a girl with the exact same looks but now she seemed to be Naruto's age. She smiled and said, "Naruto-kun's nee-sama makes a really good sensei."

Izumo nodded and then turned to the next new face and found it to be yet another cute girl that was about Naruto's age with long, black hair and deep chocolate brown eyes. She was wearing a pink kimono and was smiling at Naruto. She then turned to the Chūnin guards and introduced herself. "Hello, nice to meet you. My name is Haku Amegawa. I'm Naruto-kun's girlfriend."

Next to her, Ibyuku pouted and said, "Hey! I'm his girlfriend too you know!"

At hearing this, both Kotetsu's and Izumo's jaws dropped and they just opened and closed their mouths like a fish out of water. After about a minute, Izumo finally recovered and then started crying anime waterfall tears while saying, "It's not fair! The kids only 13 years old and he's already got himself a harem!"

After getting over their little rant, they turned their attention to the final new member of the group and they gasped, "Zabuza Momochi, The Demon of the Bloody Mist!"

Seeing that the two were slipping into a fighting stance, Naruto quickly jumped in between them and said, "Stop! Don't hurt him!"

Kotetsu didn't take his eyes off of the Kiri nuke-nin. "Naruto, in case you didn't know, Zabuza Momochi is a Jōnin level nuke-nin from Kirigakure no Sato."

"Yeah, I know that! He is my sensei!"

Izumo looked at Naruto in disbelief, "He's your WHAT!"

"He's my Kenjutsu sensei. Please don't hurt him!" Naruto responded

"But, where's your sword?" asked Kotetsu, his curiosity piqued. Naruto just grinned so wide that it looked like it completely circled his head, and he said, "Why, its right here, strapped to my back. Would you like to see it?"

The two Chūnin nodded, somewhat confused, and Naruto grinned even wider and simply reached over his shoulder and said, "Hōshutsu, Tengoku Sōgo Kōgu!" As he said this, a bright light appeared behind his back and he pulled a giant sword seemingly out of mid-air (when in truth, it was sealed into a special tattoo on his back left shoulder). Both Kotetsu's and Izumo's jaws made a 2 foot deep crater in the ground, the sword was almost as tall as he was and it had no guard with only a cloth wrapped around the hilt. It also was sectioned with jagged spikes at the front of each section that looked like they could cut through almost anything (Think a cross between Ichigo's and Renji's swords. I do not own Bleach). The Chūnin guards just stared and it was then that Anko decided to step in, "Don't worry, he is with me. He's coming with me to see the Hokage. Don't worry, I'll take full responsibility for all of them."

"Okay, Anko. Just go straight to the Hokage's office."

AT THE HOKAGE'S OFFICE…

We find the Hokage much like we did 8 years ago. He had defeated his archenemy in his daily battle for free time, and was just getting settled down with a certain women-scorned orange book that was written by his student. Not 5 minutes after he opened the book and started reading, his door was suddenly kicked open and a flash of yellow appeared in front of him and he heard a very familiar voice fell, "HEY OLD MAN! I'MM BAAACCCKKK!"

Iruka Umimo was teaching at the shinobi Academy and was just telling his students that they were going to take the Genin Graduation Exam when the door opened and three people enterer, a boy and two girls. The boy walked up to him and said, "Hello, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and this is Ibyuku Konyoo and Haku Amegawa. The Hokage said that we are supposed to take the Genin Exam today."

Iruka looked at the note that he had handed to him and saw that it was indeed signed by the Sandaime Hokage. He looked at the three new students and nodded and told them to have a seat. "Now class, the exam will be in three parts with the first part being a written test."

After the tests were passed out, Naruto was going through answering all of them until he got to number 28. 'How was the Kyuubi no Yoko killed?' Naruto reads this and then raises his hand and says, "Iruka-sensei, I have a problem with number 28."

Sasuke Uchiha looked at his paper and said, "What's the problem, dobe? The Kyuubi no Yoko was killed by our Yondaime Hokage." At this all of his fangirls look at him with hearts in their eyes. "Sasuke-kun is so smart!"

Naruto just smirked and walked to the front of the class. "Let me give you all a special lesson on jinchuuriki." At this, Iruka's eyes widened and Sakura Haruno asked, "What's a jinchuuriki?"

Naruto just looked at Iruka and said, "What have you been teaching them, Iruka-sensei, that they don't even know about jinchuuriki?"

"Well it's not something that they need to be told about, Naruto."

Naruto just sighed and said, "Fine, then I guess I will give a short lesson then. To explain what a jinchuuriki is, I first have to tell you about the bijuu. Does anyone what those are? Good. Well, there is no way to actually kill a bijuu, and the Kyuubi no Yoko is the strongest of the bijuu. The truth about it is that the Yondaime Hokage could not kill the Kyuubi, so instead he sealed it into a new borne child at the cost of his own life."

As he said this he lifted up his shirt making many of the girls blush and a couple of them even got nosebleeds while Haku and Ibyuku just glared at the girls who were practically drooling at the sight of his well-toned muscles. He then channeled chakra into the seal making it glow and the class gave a collective gasp. Sakura was the first person to put it together. "You're a jinchuuriki, aren't you?"

Naruto nodded, "That's right."

Sasuke just looked at him and said, "So you're a demon, then?"

Naruto sighed and decided that a demonstration might explain it better. He took out a scroll with a seal on it and took out a single kunai. "Let's say that this kunai is the Kyuubi and this storage scroll is me." He then sealed the kunai and turned to the class. "Now, does the scroll become the kunai because the kunai is sealed in it?"

Sasuke smirked, "Of course not dobe. Any idiot with a brain could see that it is still a harmless storage scroll."

Naruto just smirked right back and said, "Well it's the same with me. Just because I happen to have the strongest bijuu in existence sealed into my stomach, doesn't mean I am that bijuu. The sad part is that most jinchuuriki are scorned and even hated by most, if not all, of the people in their village because they are seen as the demon incarnate rather than the hero who is keeping the bijuu from killing every last one of them."

"But Konoha is the nicest of the 5 hidden villages, as well as the strongest. No one here would ever do something so evil right?" the pink haired cannon fodd-I mean… Haruno asked.

Naruto just smiled sadly and replied, "Sakura, I have been gone from this village for the past 8 years on a training trip with my uncle, an ANBU, and my sensei, Anko kaa-san-"

All of the sudden, everyone in the room could hear what sounded like the sound of someone screaming at the top of their lungs, "ITS ANKO ONEE-SAMA YOU LITTLE SHITSTAIN!"

"-I mean my Onee-sama. Though that wasn't the only reason I left, I was also on that trip to recuperate from large kunai wounds in the back of my knee and on my back."

At this, all of the girls of the class burst into tears while even some of the guys looked like they might as well, save for two of them, the whole class went, "Awwwwwwwwww…" though if you listened carefully, you could hear someone go 'Hn.' And someone else snore.

Iruka then cleared his throat loudly to get everyone's attention, "That was sad and all, but we still need to continue taking the exam. So now let's go outside for the Taijutsu portion of the exam."

After everyone got outside, Iruka started his explanation, "Now, the Taijutsu portion of the exam is fairly simple. Each of you will be fighting against me for a maximum time of two minutes. Your goal is to land a hit on me to get full marks, but if the time runs out before you can do that, you will probably fail. I won't be fighting back, I'll only dodge and block your attacks. Alright, let's start with Shino Aburame, and after you will be Chouji Akimichi."

The matches went fast, with mostly only the clan heirs passing, and eventually Naruto's turn came around. Naruto got up and faced Iruka as the teacher got into a defensive stance. Naruto shrugged and slipped into a stance that made the Chūnin teacher's eyes go wide in shock. 'How does he know the Hummingbird Style?' Iruka thought. None of the students had any idea what that stance was. Iruka snapped out of his daze and told Naruto to begin.

Naruto's body seemed to flicker for just a second and then he stood up straight and started to walk away. Iruka looked confused and called out, "Naruto, where are you go-" And that was as far as he got before he felt something slam into the back of his head and he lost consciousness.

When Iruka woke up, he saw that he was surrounded by some students with looks of concern on their faces and a sheepish, but apologetic, looking Naruto. Naruto grinned nervously as he scratched the back of his head and said, "Gomenisai Iruka-sensei. I tried to hold back as much as I could but apparently it wasn't enough because I accidently knocked you out."

Iruka looked at Naruto with a curious expression on his face and asked him, "Naruto, how do you know that style and where did you learn it?"

Naruto tilted his head and gave him a confused look, "I learned it from an old scroll that I inherited, and why wouldn't I know the style my dad created?"

Iruka gasped, the Hummingbird Style was the Taijutsu style that the Yondaime Hokage created to compliment his use of the Hirashin! "Then who was your mother?"

"Kushina Uzumaki." Naruto responded. Iruka nodded, it made sense that he would take his mother's last name so as to protect himself from Iwa shinobi that wanted revenge for his what his father had done in the war.

"Ne, Iruka-sensei, I've got to ask you not to tell anyone about this. It is strictly SS-class confidential and you can only discuss this with me, Anko onee-sama, my dad's brother, and the Hokage."

"Very well. Now, moving on to the third and final portion of the exam will be Ninjutsu. Though this year, we have decided to alter it a bit. Instead of having you perform the Basic Three, we will have you show us a jutsu that you can use for infiltration, fighting, or capture."

When Naruto's turn came he had everyone stand in a group behind him and he did some hand signs and shouted out, "Doton: Rising Wall!" After he did this, a 12 foot rock wall rose out of the ground. Naruto then turned to everyone else and said, "No, no, that's not the jutsu. THIS IS!"

As he said this, he pulled out Tengoku Sōgo Kōgu and swung it like a whip (Renji's shikai) and yelled, "Kurosu Keijō Getsuga Tensho!"

Suddenly, a bright purple light flew from the sword and hit the rock wall. At first, nothing happened, and Sasuke smirked and said, "Looks like you're all talk, dobe."

Naruto smirked right back at him and replied, "Look again, teme."

Everybody turned around just in time to see the rock wall split in the shape of an X. Everybody's eyes got so big that they made chibis look normal. The amount of chakra a move of that size must take must be at least a sannin's level! Needless to say, Naruto passed all three tests. In fact, everyone did… except for a certain pink-haired banshee, who ran home screaming and crying about not being with her Sasuke-kun.

END OF CHAPTER THREE

A/N: Well, that's chapter number three down. Here is a challenge for you guys, the readers. As more than a few of you have asked, I will do a recap of Naruto's training and yes, it will involve konouchi hosprings, most likely in Kumo. I need your opinion on where I should go with Sasuke as far as his attitude. Should I make him his regular, emo, broody, revenge-obsessed self? Or maybe I could make him where he and Naruto actually become good friends and he doesn't try to kill him… Hmmm… Also, to those of you who are Sakura fans, I'm sorry but I REALLY don't like her. In the manga she was nothing but a bitch for four years and I hated her. Another thing is that the poll results showed Yugao and Yugito as the winners. I will replace Yugao with Tenten and I will also add Hinata in just because it's impossible for her and Naruto NOT to be compatible.

And now, something from the mind of the author:

THE AWESOME-EST QUESTION

If the floor can spawn exploding squirrels like a paperclip on photosynthesis, what is the sane possibility that Inception can defy the physics of a yo-yo, but not the theory that chainsaws can use their shoelaces to organize the toe nail clippings on the Mona Lisa's hard drive? While also taking into account the improbability that the constipated monster trucks wouldn't not never be slaughtered by the army of baby nun chucks. This can be simply proven by… Oo! Look, an animorphing distraction! Gasp! It's taking the form of a squirrel! I'm going to name it Spork! Come here, Spork! I've got your mashed potatoe battery playing cards! I'm also this close to cracking the mystery behind Ed, Edd, and Eddy… GASP! I'VE GOT IT! PLANK IS THE LOG'S SON! The flaming mongooses must be warned about this before the bottle camel people have a chance to manufacture the secret to eternal hair of Wafflez! CHUCK NORRIS'S LAZAR HAS A THIRD FANG'S DEMON CHICKEN OF DDDOOOMMM! THIS COULD ONLY MEAN ONE POSSIBLY LOGICAL THING… THE AWNSER IS 42 X THE MASS OF THE ULTIMATE FORM OF THE LOG ÷ THE NUMBER OF TIMES THAT YOU'VE HAD TO REREAD THIS TO REALIZE THAT IT IS GIVING YOU A HEADACHE! YOU HAVE NOTHING ON ME WITH YOU AND YOUR IRRATIONAL LOGIC!

(NOTE TO THE CONFUSED READER: YOU WILL NEVER GET THIS UNLESS YOU UNDERSTAND ALL OF THE REFERENCES THAT WERE MADE AND YOU ARE SOMEWHAT INSANE!)

I don't own Third Fang, his works, or Inception.