Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. I am NOT making any profit out of this story. I do NOT know any of the people mentioned on this fanfiction. This story NEVER happened, it is a work of fiction. It is the result of a crazed fan daydreaming.
WARNINGS: Man on man action
Chapter 7 – Not so perfect, but close enough
Mark parked his car and turned off the music, a smooth jazz to calm his nerves. There was no other way to put it: Mark Salling was nervous. He didn't mention to Chris but today was kind of also his first real date with a guy. He had some hook ups in the past, he hang out with his (sex) friend Jason, but he never actually had liked a guy enough to go on a conventional date. Right now, he felt not smooth, or chill or cool…he felt sweaty and stupid. He had been making out with the boy the whole week, so what was up with today? He didn't want to admit, but the thing is if all went well this would lead to a lot more, maybe a relationship, a gay relationship when only a handful of people here in LA knew he was bisexual. That was scary, really scary. They had decided to come in different cars, it was easier to fool the paparazzi this way, right now he was glad for that decision because Mark didn't want Chris to see him getting cold feet. He got out of his car and started to walk towards the main entrance, he saw the countertenor there standing, sun glasses, buttoned black shirt and…a yellow hoodie? Chris was visibly nervous, teetering on his feet. He looked adorable and enticing at the same time and 'How the hell does he manages that?' Looking at the boy, Mark's heart just swelled up and it was like his body was automatically drawn to Chris like a magnet. 'Fear be damned right now', he just physically needed to be near the young gleek.
"Hi" the boy said as soon as Mark was on hearing distance.
"Hey" there was a little awkward silence while they looked at each other, anxious (but happy) smiles playing on their lips.
"So…I'm kind of nervous. It's my first real date…with someone that you know,…is a guy." Chris admitted.
"I'm kind of nervous too…I'm not used to going on dates with guys either" at that moment Mark didn't think would do much good to admit that he was more used to indoor activities when it came to guys, so he just kept it to himself.
"Oh…good. At least I don't feel like such a dork…I mean not that you're a dork. God…my self destruction has already started". The young gleek just facepalmed.
Mark laughed "I got it, Chris. Just chill…and let's just have fun, ok?"
"Ok" Chris said sheepishly. They got inside the park and it wasn't long before Chris was babbling about his favorite rides. It was hilarious to Mark that, when in a theme park, Chris did resemble a child and he wasn't even taking the boy's looks into account. Suddenly, Mark felt kind of old.
"Do you have a favorite a ride? You know? The one you always go for every time you come here" the younger gleek asked excited.
"I don't come here a lot…I was kind of busy having a life, you know?" Mark answered casually.
Chris opens and closes his mouth at that. Damn, that had stung. Chris knew he had been a no social life nerd for most of his life. It never bothered him…too much, 'Well, sometimes it kind of did…like staying home with Hannah and my parents every single weekend'. But hearing Mark, his current crush, date, whatever… saying it, had an unexpected effect on Chris: it left him disconcerted, enough to stun him into temporary silence. Chris was hardly ever stunned into silence; he had always a witty come back. As the boy rummaged the corners of his mind for a joke to make, it occurred to him that what was bothering him was that maybe, after only a week of making out, Mark was beginning to see Chris as the boy saw himself, an average looking and extremely nerdy, boring guy.
Mark watched as the boy mouth opened and closed again and his face go into a pensive look when it finally downed on him…He had just told Chris, the guy he was trying to impress, that he had no life 'And I must be the most stupid human being on earth'.
"Chris…that came out wrong…I mean, I don't know what it is about me, I'm always saying the wrong thing…I didn't mean it…it was suppose to be a joke. Shit, why do I do that? Offending the guy I'm trying to impress…that's just goes to prove that I'm not really that bright, you shouldn't take anything I say into account. "
Seeing the man all worried about making amends to him was a bit surprising 'He is nervous about offending…me?' It was kind of…cute, and cute+ Mark was something Chris was just not used to. Hot, handsome, sexy, manly…but not cute. It made Chris smile, because suddenly Mark seemed more…human to him, the older gleek also screwed up on dates. "It's ok Mark. Lets just have fun, remember?" He quoted the man earlier. "How about going to the Space Mountain? I've been dying to go all week" he spoke getting excited again and smiling, inadvertently making Mark's heart skip a beat.
They did go to the Space Mountain, there, as they were falling into darkness and, in Chris's case, screaming his lungs out, the boy had, on a reflex, grabbed Mark's hand. It lasted a few seconds, because soon Chris let go, wondering if he had been taken over by an alien parasite who stole his good judgment. Somehow, holding hands seemed more intimate than making out on an empty shed. The countertenor was left mortifyingly embarrassed, and at the same time, against his better judgment, wishing he had held Mark's hand a little longer. He once again blamed the alien parasite.
The older gleek was startled by the sudden contact and as soon as it was gone it was like there was a part of his hand missing. He wanted it back, and he would have it the first chance he gets. That chance wasn't easy to come by though. They were never alone. They did have fun, they went on several rides, some more than once. However, there were so many freaking people. Mark found himself regretting not taking to himself to chose where their first date was going to be. That feeling dissipated once he saw how happy Chris was, showing him around and talking about the rides. More often than not they'd get recognized and make up a lie about how some of the other gleeks were also there somewhere in the park, escaping as the fans went to look for new autographs from their (not really there) cast mates.
The day flew by, they had lunch in the park, and at night they went to dinner in a restaurant Mark loved. He knew Chris would love too since he also liked meat, and that wasn't easy to come by in LA, where everything was healthy, bird food.
All day long it had been lingering touches and exchanged complicity smiles. Those were the best because it made them feel like they were sharing a world of their own. They shared a secret no one was allowed to know, their feelings for each other. Then there were the times they'd catch each other staring.
When the countertenor would catch Mark staring he would give him an awkward smile, but his face and ears would turn pink. He was just not used to it, he felt nervous and happy at the same time. But the most overwhelming feeling, the one that really left his stomach swimming and heart bursting was the feeling of being wanted, not because he was Kurt Hummel, or Glee's Chris Colfer, but because he was…Chris. Other guys had come on to him through the year, but none of them gave him this feeling. Because they didn't know Chris like Mark did. He had seen the boy at his best and at his worst, he had met him when he was a nobody from Clovis, no make up on and no spot lights and now, though Mark could probably have any starlet he wanted, he just wanted Chris, and that was just mind blowing surreal to the boy. It made him happier than his rational mind considered safe to be.
As for Mark he deeply enjoyed Chris' looks when he thought the man wasn't noticing, he could feel the boys longing and the naivety in his eyes. Chris was so young and inexperienced it made the older gleek feel kind of dirty and perverted, but also a very big part of him felt overjoyed because it was like discovering a wonder of nature that no one has ever seem, a hidden diamond or something cheesy like that. No one would ever touch it but him, because he saw it first, it was his first, and right now he wanted Chris to be his forever. Occasionally he would catch the boy's eyes and smile maliciously, enjoying how Chris did his best to not give away his embarrassment at being caught, making his witty remarks all the while blushing and stuttering like mad.
Still the lack of physical contact was bothering Mark. More than once he found himself wondering how things would be different if he was out of the closet like Chris. They would be able to hold hands, even kiss in public and they'd be able to not give a damn if a paparazzi saw them. As it was, the older gleek needed a place where they could go and act like a real couple on a date. Luckily for him he already knew just the place.
X~X~X~X~X~X~X
Chris followed Mark up the stairs, they had just get out of the elevator.
"Should I fear for my life?" the boy asked, he was actually more than a little nervous. He didn't know what this was all about. First Mark excuses himself to make a call, them they're off to some closed building where Mark knows a Guy who let them in, and not a word of explanation from the man but You'll see.
"Not right now, may be later. But I'll get back to you on that" the man joked.
Chris laughed nervously.
When they finally got to the top of the stairs he was greeted with a beautiful view of the Santa Monica pier.
"Wow" He said walking right up to the rails "That is amazing".
Mark smiled to himself watching the boy look in awe to the view "Well, I'm glad you like it".
"It's so fantastic. I cannot even begin to wonder how many panties dropped for you here" he said without a second thought.
The man sobered up at that. "I'd expect you to already know that, but…I'm not a player, you know?" Mark said a bit insulted. Sure he had one night stands here and there, but he never turned it into a habit or a sport.
'Way to put your foot into your mouth again Chris' the boy thought to himself, "I'm sorry Mark. I know you're not a player. It was just me being my usual sarcastic, judgmental self. I didn't even think before I spoke". The younger gleek apologized, except if he was to be honest with himself, did he really know if Mark was not a player? Mark was a great friend, a really nice guy, but how Chris was suppose to know how he was on his love life? Chris knew that that was his cynical mind speaking, so he decided against voicing it since Mark gave him no reason to doubt him till now. 'Yeah, but he brought you to a freaking terrace to get you alone…so he can score'. Yeah, it seemed his cynical conscience wasn't going down without a fight. "It's just that this view is so beautiful, it just screams hook up place" he spoke sincerely.
"Ok, Chris. I didn't expect to just come out to you and everything would be easy. So I think the best way to go about this thing between us is being completely open…so I can somehow avoid the judgmental side of you" the older gleek gave him a lopsided smile.
"Fair enough" Chris returned it with a nod.
"This is not a hook up place. I never brought anyone here" he said walking to the rail.
"Oh, so this is your official I come here to think/ brood/ smolder and look hot spot. I heard every bad boy had one, but had never actually seen one before" Chris said chuckling, his anxiety taking the best of him. It came out harsher then it sounded in his mind and he almost flinched at that. However, he was a bit on edge here. The day had been relatively easy because they hadn't been alone, so it was all fun and games, quite literally. Now, in his mind, there were two possibilities that this date on the roof could lead to:
a) Mark wanted to try to get into his pants;
b) They would talk about where they stand as two people…dating and being…together.
Both of these possibilities left Chris nervous because:
a) He was a virgin, and he was kind of scared;
b) Being an out gay man dating on Hollywood could be…messy, and he was scared.
c) Bottom line: he was scared and he was a coward.
"Ouch…I think Kurt is rubbing off on you a little too much" Mark answered at his remark. "No, this is not my brooding spot. Actually I never came here before. This is the first time"
"Oh" Chris said a bit disconcerted "Sorry".
Mark just gave him a little nod "I have to admit I was feeling a bit frustrated." At Chris's curious look he continued. "It was a fun day and all, but most of it I found myself wanting to be near you, kiss you…and I couldn't".
The man's honest statement made Chris feel warm and more than a little embarrassed. Especially because he kind of felt the same way. He always feels like being near the man, kissing him, but he also feels like it's not for him, he is stealing someone else's happiness or something. "Yeah, I know what you mean".
Chris's words reassured Mark "Like, when you reached out and grabbed my hand at the tower" the older gleek reached down and gently grabbed the boy's hands and intertwined their fingers.
Chris blushed at the recent memory.
"I wish you didn't have to let go" he said honestly.
"I…I didn't want to let go either" the boy said looking tentatively at the man's eyes.
"So I remembered my friend telling me of this place with a great view of the Santa Monica pier that he takes girls to, where he works as security at night." He told matter of factly.
Chris laughed "So it is a hook up place".
"Well, yeah. But not my hook up place" He laughed back. "But at least here, we don't have to let go" he raised their intertwined fingers.
"No we don't".
As Chris looked at their hands together, a little smile playing on his lips Mark used his other hand to gently pull the boy towards him pressing the small of his back. "I missed feeling you up against me. I've been thinking about it the whole day". The older gleek spoke holding Chris's eyes on his.
"I-I missed it too" the boy admitted once again 'Damn, my nervous stutter'.
Looking at the angelical face of the countertenor Mark breached the gap and finally (finally!) for the first time on their date he kissed the young man. Chris's lips just as soft, just as delicious as their very first kiss (and every other kiss after that), and Mark strongly believed they would always and forever feel this way.
The boy was the one to break the kiss and avoiding the older man's gaze as he looked at the park.
Mark sensed something was wrong "You're nervous? When I said I'd get back to you on that fearing for your life thing I was just joking, you know?"
Chris laughed a little at his joke, took a deep breath and decided to take a shot at the being honest about your feelings thing "I am nervous because…well, you said that after our date we would see where we would go from here…and I know is not the cool thing to do. I know more…e-experienced people would just go with the flow. But I always like to know where I stand on all situations. That's kind of how I r-roll, you could say it…because otherwise things just get confused…like if we talk about it and you ditch me, that'll suck…a lot, but at least I'll know where I stand…but if we don't talk about it and I try to kiss you on Monday, not that I'll try to kiss you Monday, but hypothetically, if I was to try to kiss you Monday and you rejected me that would suck even more and…"
"God, Chris you're babbling. Take a breath would you?"
"Sorry…I know I can talk too much sometimes, mostly when I'm nervous like when I'm giving interviews, I always…"
"Colfer, dude, you're doing it again" Mark interrupted.
"Sorry" Chris nodded, pressed down his lips together as to show he would not do it again and he looked away embarrassed.
Mark had to smile at that, he was so cute. "Ok, so I'm not known for being sensitive or perceptive, so correct me if I'm wrong, you have been nervous because of what I said before you thought this date would define our relationship?"
Chris nodded.
"And you wanted to talk about it so you know where we stand, but at the same time you're scared of talking about it because you thought you would get ditched?". Well, the boy didn't use exactly these words but if Mark could get out of the boy an admission that he was scared of Mark not wanting him, therefore showing his feelings, than he would go for it.
"I…I didn't…I mean…" Chris looked at Mark as in deep thought and with a bit of hesitation he nodded "Yes".
Mark once again pressed their bodies together and gave Chris a passionate, mind swirling kiss. "I'll make this easy for you, ok?" he spoke letting go of the boy's lips "Today it got pretty clear to me that I cannot stand another day without being close to you, without touching or kissing you. The last week, the time I spent with you, that was like the happiest I've ever felt, and I'm not kidding. Every day I couldn't wait to get to the set and it was to be with you. I've been thinking of you during every waking hour and I dream of you when I fall sleep. So…what I'm trying to say is… I really want to be with you."
"So you're saying you want to be my boyfriend?" Chris said eyes wide, and kind of hopeful.
Mark smiled at the innocence on Chris's question, it filled his heart. It has been years since the last time he heard this sort of question, asked with this innocence. It just made all the more clear how young Chris was and how inexperienced on these matters, even if he was extremely mature for his age. Maybe the older gleek should feel ashamed, a dirty old man pinning for a 19 year old, but he actually could almost physically feel his feelings for the boy getting stronger. He didn't voice any of this though; he didn't want to embarrass the younger gleek. So he limited himself to answer "Yes, Chris. I want to be your boyfriend".
The boy's face visibly lighted up, he smiled and lowered his gaze unable to look directly at the man, so he wouldn't embarrass himself by showing just how happy Mark's agreement made him. "So we're really together now" he said more to himself.
"Yeah. Are you happy?"Mark asked.
Chris looked at him suspicious "Now you're just trying to capitalize on it…but, Yes, if you must know…happy and nervous…I've never had a boyfriend before, or a girlfriend for that matter. What the hell, I have never been a boyfriend before. There is a big possibility I may screw this up" He said, actually a bit worried.
Mark gave him a lopsided grin and shrugged it off "Then I'll help you not to. Just don't double time me, deal?" he asked, it was suppose to be a joke, but the thought of Jonathan and how he acted with Chris crossed his mind, fear making its way into his heart.
"A pretty easy promise to make. I'll just dismiss the rest of the suitors on my waiting list" Chris said faking seriousness. He then added more sincerely "You know there is no one. I just hope you don't come to your senses anytime soon and realize that you are dating…" he gestured dismissively to himself "well, this".
Always with the self-deprecating comments, but Mark had to admit he was a bit relieved that the boy didn't seem to notice Groff's real intentions. Maybe the other man would eventually just give up seeing as Chris doesn't seem to look at him like that. Mark wasn't really an aggressive person, but taking from what happened on the Ivy last week he really didn't want to find out what he could do if Groff's actions toward his boyfriend escalated. But now was not the time to think about that.
"Chris, when you will be convinced that all this bad stuff you think about yourself, no one else does, especially not me. Actually, to me you're pretty damn perfect". Out of reflex Mark put a hand to the boy's cheek so he could feel that porcelain skin, and the younger gleek leaned in to the touch. Mark fell into a trance looking at that mesmerizing, beautiful face. 'How can he think himself any less than amazing?" It was just too far out to understand. Mark once again captured those lips in his own with the determination of a starving man. He licked and bit and Chris let him equally into the kiss.
It was all so freaking perfect it scared the countertenor: the kiss, this place, their date, this man and all the things he said. It was like it had all been ripped off directly of a dream Chris never allowed himself to have. The young gleek had spent the whole week waiting for the catch, there was always a catch, wasn't there? But it never came, and things just keep getting better and better. So naturally as the cynical person Chris Colfer was he waited for the next logical thing: someone to tell him this was an alternate reality; or maybe the skies to open and he'd be struck by a lightning bolt and fall dead; or even someone wake him up in a nursing home somewhere because is time for him to take his medicine.
'You deserve this boy' Amber's voice rang inside his head, one of the first things she told him when she heard about Mark and him. 'So maybe this wasn't supposed to be for me. Maybe it is a hallucination, but it feels damn good and I want it. God, I want him' He told himself. 'Maybe I could let myself go and just do what it feels good and makes me happy, and not what I was supposed to do'. He put his arms around Mark's neck and kissed him back with everything he had.
As both men let go for breath they both felt happy, more like unbelievably happy. Like nothing they ever felt before.
"I wanna show you something, stay here" Mark said disappearing into somewhere on the roof and coming back with a guitar in hand.
"O…k…if we are all getting stuff from the magic roof I wanna a pet Llama" Chris said and looked around for his awkward new magical pet.
"Sit down, smart ass" Mark answered chuckling "This is my friend's guitar, that's how I know him, he plays on a band on his days off. I asked him on the phone to leave it out here" He said with the most innocent face he could muster.
They sat on the floor, Chris right in front of Mark. "So you were planning to woo me using your guitar?" Chris raised one eye brow at that.
"Yeah, something like that" Mark started to play some accords "I kind of wrote this for you" he said shocking Chris into silence. "There are no lyrics yet, because, well, I can't find words to explain how I feel when I think about you. I feel like the words I know are not enough…"
Chris was startled hearing Mark saying that, his heart beat stronger, he felt like crying and laughing at the same time. Most importantly he thought he knew exactly what the man was saying because he was feeling the same way right now. He could not put his feelings into words because none seemed to do them justice.
"So this melody…is kind of how I feel" Mark said as he began to play what Chris thought were the most beautiful accords he had ever heard.
Of course the boy was biased by the whole situation: on a rooftop under a star filled sky, a man, so great, he never even dared to dream about was now his boyfriend, and said boyfriend was playing a song he had composed for Chris. Yes, the young gleek thought the song was just perfect, life was freaking perfect right now.
It was a melodic and peaceful melody. While listening to it the boy's eyes met Mark's, and they were intense, burning. Like the man wanted to say everything he couldn't put into lyrics through his eyes. It was working, Chris could not look away. He felt secure and reassured of the man's feelings, but there was more in his eyes than that. Chris felt the older gleek's wanting, the man's desire…for him. It sent a tingling sensation throughout his body, and more embarrassingly his pelvic area was responding to his eyes all too readily. The countertenor immediately lowered his gaze scared Mark would be able to tell the effect he was having on him. However, staring at the man, his boyfriend's, strong fingers playing those chords it wasn't helping much. He could distinctly feel all the blood in his body going into separate directions: half was going to his cheeks and half to his groin. The boy couldn't stop himself from imagine how those fingers would feel on his body. Mark's hands already felt so good on him even through the cloth of his garments. How would they feel against his naked skin?
"What do you think?" Mark asked expectantly
The man had finished his song, Chris opened and closed his mouth without trusting his voice to speak. He was breathing heavily and he looked down again to get himself together. For the first time he really noticed he had an erection, and he changed the position he was sitting bringing his knees to his chest to hide his hard on.
Mark had observed the boy's flushed cheeks and eyelids half closed, the countertenor's lips opened in an inviting manner. He observed as the boy's gaze lowered, and he followed his eyes, first to his own fingers then to the boy's own groin. Mark's throat went dry immediately as he saw that Chris was hard, his own member reacting to the image. He watched as the boy tried to hide it, but he could not control himself anymore. He had been trying to keep his cool ever since their first kiss…and that had been the hardest thing he had ever done. Seeing that Chris also desired him, it was just too much. Discarding the guitar He reached out cupping the boy's face, making him look at him.
The younger gleek just stared at him, mouth semi opened, breathing heavily, feeling the intensity of Mark's eyes on him.
"Me too" Mark said directly into his eyes, trying to convey that he was feeling exactly the same "All the time. You drive me insane, all the fucking time" and it was all he could say before pulling Chris into a feverish kiss. He no longer held back afraid of scaring the boy, he pulled him almost to his lap, his muscular arms firmly holding him. Mark could feel Chris's fingers holding the back of his shirt as for dear life. He wanted to devour the boy, he licked and savored every corner of that delicious mouth, he bit and licked those rosy, pouty lips, he fought for dominance with Chris' tongue and relished his victory as he tasted his boyfriend and drank his whimpers.
Chris could feel Mark's erection against the side of his hip, could feel the tongue that invaded his mouth, the heat from the man's body and the hands that were now traveling greedily up and down his body. All the sensations making his toes curl, his erection ache and his hands reach and pull as if he wanted their bodies to fuse into one. For maybe the first time in his whole life Chris Colfer wasn't thinking, just feeling.
Their lips stopped moving but never really parted, each of them taking in each other's hot, feverish breath, heated eyes meeting. "Come home with me" Mark said before he could stop himself.
Chris closed his eyes inhaling the older man's scent "Yes".