Burning Desire
By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles
Chapter 8: Coherent
Olivia was tossing and turning in her sleep, having dreams about people hurting Casey and, as much as she tried, she could never reach her in time. Every time she woke, Casey was in a different, equally uncomfortable looking position, but she looked happy enough in her sleep, allowing Olivia to doze off again, until suddenly Casey was shaking her awake.
The room was pitch black still, the sun only just beginning to rise outside.
Olivia's eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the darkness. "Wh-what is it? What's wrong?"
"Where the hell are we? I can't see anything."
Olivia wrapped an arm around her. "We're in a hotel room, Casey. We're okay," she said, feeling Casey cling to her. "Do you want me to turn on a light really quick?"
Casey nodded against her, her breathing fast turning into hyperventilation as she panicked.
"Whoa! Shh, shh, it really is okay. Here, lean on me," she said, sitting up and switching on the bedside lamp. "It's okay, it's okay. Slow, steady breaths Casey." she said wrapping her arm back around her. "It's okay," she whispered into her hair as she kissed the top of her head. "You're safe."
She tried to slow her breathing, her body shaking from shock. "I don't remember getting here."
Olivia took a deep breath. "Casey, do you know who I am?"
Casey nodded, her eyes darting around the room.
Olivia stroked her cheek slowly. "Good. Now I want you to listen to me. You were in the hospital from-something that happened earlier today. I brought you here so you wouldn't need to worry as much. Now, there's one more thing I need to tell you and I need you to listen very carefully, okay?"
Casey nodded once more, her body relaxing slightly.
"For her protection, Alex is out on the couch. She's...been helping me with you. With one arm I can only do so much—"
"—But—"
Olivia pressed a finger to her lips. "She's not here for me. She never will be. I love you, Casey, only you. Understand?"
Casey let out a shaky breath, nodding her head once more, reaching a hand up to wipe away some of her tears. "I'm sorry, I just thought for a minute I was back in the warehouse and... Do you mind if we just leave the light on?"
Olivia nodded, sitting back against the wall. "Come here. We can talk if you want. I don't mind."
Casey moved closer to her, resting against her."Normally at this time of the morning I'm trying to decide what to wear to work while I go for a jog in the park near your apartment. Not that I'm stalking you, it's just a really nice park and I happen to like occasionally bumping into you when you're all sweaty."
"Hmm, I just might have to get up early for that then," she said smiling then she noticed the tears that were still falling. "Casey, did you have a nightmare before you shook me awake?"
Casey nodded. "But I want to talk about something else. Please."
Olivia kissed her cheek and nodded. "Okay. What do you want to talk about?"
"Umm...movies? Have you seen any good movies...ever?"
Olivia sighed. "Well, let's see. God it's been forever, but you wanna know my favorite movie is? It's one I was the only one privileged to see," she said with a smile.
"What was it?" Casey wiped away more tears on her sleeve.
Olivia wiped her cheek. "Our first date. I always have it in my head. And the redhead starring in it is just...so damn beautiful. I dream of her every night. Waking up next to her just like this with my arms around her...drying her tears and easing her fears. Kissing her sweetly, gently, passionately."
Casey turned her head, giving a small smile before burying her head into Olivia's neck, her tears soaking Olivia's hair.
"Oh Casey!" she said, kissing the top of her head. "I just love you so much! I hate that that happened to you and I'd like to personally castrate them, but I don't think it would go over too well. Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll listen. No matter what."
"Remind me again, what happened in this special movie of yours?" Casey asked, lacing her fingers into Olivia's.
"Well, she was wearing the most beautiful dress with her hair all done up and kept stumbling over her words because of how stunned she was at how great her date looked. I admit, I laughed, but it was never to be mean or hurt her feelings. She's so cute when she trips over her words and how flustered she gets when she spills coffee on her shirt. And I love when she blushes and smiles. Its one of my favorite parts."
Casey smiled, wider this time. "What else?"
Olivia smiled, squeezing her hand. "What else do you want to know?"
"What did you think the first time you saw her?"
"In the movie?"
"Ever."
Olivia thought a second. "I always thought she was very beautiful, but, somehow, I never sensed that she liked me...until I really looked at her when we were alone. Her eyes sparkle like emeralds and her smile is the brightest I've ever seen. Know what else?"
"What?" Casey was now smiling into Olivia's neck and dropping gentle kisses.
"I think I'm falling for her. Maybe I should tell her. What do you think, hmm? Or do you think she might already know?" she asked.
"Oh, I think she might know, but I'm sure you could tell her, just in case."
"Okay," she said, caressing her cheek as she quit kissing her neck. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever met, Casey Novak and I'm not just falling anymore. I'm so deeply in love with you there there's no way out. Not that I want to look. Ever," she said kissing her and feeling Casey tremble so she pulled back. "What is it?"
"I'm ready. I'll tell you what happened now. Everything."
"Are you sure? I'll wait as long as you want," Olivia said, wiping her eyes.
"...You need to know. Just...try to stay quiet while I tell you, even if I get upset, because you need to know all of it."
"If you get too upset, just take a breath and lean into me. Cry if you want. I'll dry your tears," she said, kissing her cheek.
"It started a few weeks ago. My uncle...just showed up in my office one day. We hadn't spoken in so long, SEEN each other in so long, but it just never occurred to me that there was anything weird about him showing up. He wanted to know everything...but he didn't seem that interested in anything except my work. He said he'd heard from someone at work that my office used to be Alex's, asked what had happened to her. I just sort of brushed the question off. I was too happy to see him to talk about anyone else." Casey played with Olivia's hand for a few seconds before continuing."He asked me not to tell anyone he'd been to see me. I thought because he didn't want to see my dad because they never really got on. Then he asked if I was still seeing John...which was weird. He'd gone by the time I started dating John in college. He shouldn't have known who he was."
"What do you mean?" Olivia asked. "Who shouldn't have known who you were?"
"My uncle left after my dad started coming home more. They had arguments and one day he just...disappeared. That was about 5 years before I even met John. But he was really concerned that I shouldn't see him. I said I wasn't. I said I hadn't since college. Then he handed me that book. The one with all the names in it. He said not to open it until I knew what it was. We had a game like that when I was little. He wouldn't let me open my presents until I had guessed what was inside. He was just acting weirdly, so I said ok and put it in my desk draw and forgot about it. I tried to contact him again after that, but his phone was always off. Then...after the warehouse, he showed up in my hospital room, asked me if I still had it. I said I did and he said he needed to tell me what was in there, somewhere we wouldn't be overheard. But on the roof, the guard and the...He only started telling me before... He said he'd made a mistake getting involved."
Olivia sighed, holding her tight. "Keep going. Did he...say why he thought it was a mistake getting involved?" She thought a second. "Wait a minute, let's go back a second. How did he know your office used to be hers?"
Casey took a deep, shaking breath before continuing. "He said he started working for the main guy as a drug runner during med school to pay for everything, but when he tried to leave, he couldn't. He just seemed to get more and more involved. He'd seen me on TV after some case, but he never let on he knew me incase...they decided to play on the information. But one day he heard them talking about the ADA and he thought they meant me and tried to find out what they were planning. It turned out they were looking for Alex still. They asked him to bug my office in case I knew anything. He panicked because they knew he was related and that's when he went on the run. He just gave me the book first as a sort of...insurance I guess. That's what the men in the warehouse wanted. The book."
"Casey..." she hesitated.
Casey turned to look at her. "I didn't tell them. But then I knew it was important. I'd put it under your bed."
She nodded. "Okay, but can you-can you tell me what happened...in the warehouse? Just so I know. So I can help you. In a way, all the other victims I've encountered, they just-I've never been so worried about not knowing something." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I want to know, not as a cop, but as everything else that I mean to you. Please?"
She took a deep breath, moving herself as close as she could to Olivia. "They said they were taking me out to see if I recognized anything...but they never stopped. They were driving so fast. I managed to message you, but I didn't want it to be too obvious, in case nothing happened and you thought I was going mad, or in case they read it and thought you knew something...but after I messaged you that last time, they went to slow down and asked me to look out the window. As I did, they hit me over the back of the head. Next thing I knew, I was tied up, a gag over my mouth, on a floor. It was really cold..." She shivered at the memory.
Olivia pulled the blanket tighter around them and kissed her shoulder. Her arm wrapped around her like a safety device for a second. She was about to pull away, but Casey grabbed it, holding her close. Olivia stayed silent a bit before kissing her again and urging her on. "You're not alone this time," she whispered, feeling Casey's hand grip hers hard.
"They didn't know I was awake for a while. They were arguing. What were they going to do? Kill me, hurt me...other things. But the older one…he called them stupid, hit the other two over the back of the head, said to remember how much trouble it had caused them when they'd killed the other ADA. Then the middle one, he kicked me in the stomach, yelled at me to wake up. I opened my eyes, but I couldn't stop shaking. They took the gag off and the older one started asking question after question. I just said I didn't know, but every time I did, they kicked me, harder and harder, in the same spot. Then I was sick on his shoe, and he slapped me, said if I wasn't going to talk, he'd get you to talk. I was so scared he'd hurt you, but i couldn't speak, my vision was going all black around the edges."
"Next I remember, I woke up again, and my shirt…He'd ripped my shirt. I was alone with him. He was saying he would show me how real men...it was John. He wouldn't stop."
Olivia could feel her shaking badly. "Come here, turn around," she requested. Casey nodded, turning around and sitting in her lap with her arms around her. "I'm sorry, Casey. I'm just...so, so sorry!" she repeated, rubbing her back ad Casey's head rested on her shoulder.
Casey hid her face, willing herself to be strong, willing her body to stop shaking, but when the door opened a moment later, she couldn't stop the hyperventilation from starting again.
Alex stood in the doorway, half asleep. "I saw the light on..."
"Shh, it's okay, Casey. It's gonna be okay. I promise. Slow, deep breaths. Alex, could you get her a glass of water, please?"
Alex nodded, disappearing from the room. Casey gulped in air.
"Casey. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again," she said, feeling the grip around her neck tighten. She wanted to say she shouldn't have refused the rape kit because of the possible evidence, but it didn't seem like the time.
Casey was still shaking violently and trying to get her breath when Alex walked back in.
She passed Olivia the water, stood awkwardly for a moment, then sat on the bed. Casey took a long sip of the water.
Olivia placed it on the nightstand. "What else can I do? ...Or is there more?"
"The bruises on my legs...I tried to fight him off, but he grabbed my legs. Pushed them open. He said you wouldn't love me afterwards, he said you'd always see me as a victim."
Olivia ran a hand along her cheek. "He lied. Nothing anyone could ever do would stop me from loving you, I promise. Casey...you should've had the kit done. At least then the evidence would convict him."
Casey suddenly realized Alex was in the room and sat up a little, moving away from Olivia and wiping her eyes. "Sorry if I woke you."
Olivia pulled her closer.
Alex shook her head. "It wasn't you. I just opened my eyes for a second and saw the light was on. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. By all means, sleep whatever you told her off...well, try to anyway," she said, standing up. "If you need me, let me know."
Olivia nodded, looking at Casey as she walked out. "Still uncomfortable around her?"
Casey rubbed her face sleeping. "No...maybe. I just had a weird dream about her...and you…and me. I kept trying to get everyone naked."
Olivia smiled. "Well, act—you see, it wasn't a dream. You accidentally took too many painkillers and started to have delusions..."
Casey groaned and pulled a pillow over her face.
Olivia pulled it away. "Don't worry. I knew what it was. I was the only one who kissed a-and sat behind you in the tub just to make sure you didn't drown while I washed your hair..."
Casey groaned once more. "Did I ...your hands...did I do things with your hands, or was that a dream too? Please tell me it was a dream. God, I'm embarrassed!"
"You are? I'm not. Granted, I didn't see everything, but...I actually thought you were, um, very brave. And sweet."
"And horny."
"Yeah that too, but I need to tell you something... I noticed the bruises on your back and you honestly told me where they came from, then...well, I asked about anything of a sexual nature and I thought your response was one of the sweetest things I've heard...strangely."
"What did I say?" Casey peeked out from the side of the pillow.
"Word for word?" Olivia asked, pulling the pillow away again.
Casey nodded, covering her face with her hands instead.
Olivia leaned closer. "You know I only do that with you," she whispered in her ear.
A smile slowly grew on Casey's face. Moving her hands away, she dropped a kiss to the corner of Olivia's mouth. "It's true."
She smiled, wrapping an arm around her. "I know, but we haven't even...but just the thought that you said I was the only person made me feel special."
"We will. And it will be perfect. When the time is right."
"I know. And I'll love you even more." she replied, kissing her lightly as she caressed the side of her face. "Now, do you have anything else to tell me or can we try to get a bit more sleep?"
"I think I can sleep now…but is it ok if we leave the light on?"
She nodded. "Of course," she answered, lying down. "Are you sure you're okay after saying all that?"
Casey nodded, nestling into Olivia's side and closing her eyes.
"If you need anything, don't hesitate to wake me, ok?"
When there was no response, she looked down, and found Casey already fast asleep. The frown that had been on her forehead for several days now gone.
Olivia smiled and pulled the blanket up around them. "I love you," she whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek and laying her head on her own pillow.
Author's Note: What do you think?
Beta'd by me.
Review thanks to: starie78
Please read & review!
Liv-x-Lex4Ever and E. Scribbles