Harry looked out the window as the rain poured down. Zayn had gotten a taxi to take them home. Harry didn't want to go and face Louis. But wasn't it better to do it now rather than later? Harry clutched Zayn's hand tightly. The drug had finally left his system after he had stopped crying but he was still shaking. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Isn't it the right thing to do?" Harry asked turning to meet Zayn's eyes. "I don't want to hurt anyone but he deserves a explanation."
Zayn opened his mouth, hesitated, then shut his mouth again and leaned back against the seat. Harry watched him wondering what was going on inside his head. "Zayn?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you ok?" Harry asked raising his eyebrows.
"No," Zayn wouldn't quite meet his eyes.
Harry moved closer and bumped his shoulder against Zayn's. "Why?"
Zayn finally looked up and Harry could see the tears in his eyes. "Because you're killing me Harry. Why do you keep going back to Louis? He isn't going to give you anything but pain!"
Harry was stunned into silence. "We kissed today."
"Because that makes everything ok, right? A little kiss from Lou, eh? Even when he treats you like shit for the rest of the day?" Zayn wiped his hand across his face. "I don't get you Harry Styles."
"I love him, Zayn. You know that I do."
Zayn shook his head and gave a bitter laugh. "I'm sorry then."
His voice was husky from crying and he was breathing shallow. "Zayn you have to understand. I thought you understood! I need you Zayn."
"Admit it," Zayn shrugged as he whispered the last part of his sentence. "You don't need me Harry."
Harry's throat tightened and he gripped Zayn's hand harder. "I do need you Zayn."
"Why?" The word was so cold. Like a shard of ice cutting through Harry.
"You're the only who can make me feel better. You make me not numb."
Zayn's free hand went to Harry's thigh and squeezed it gently. "Like that?"
Harry swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded. Zayn slid his hand up further as Harry shivered. "You only want me physcially, Haz."
"That was the deal though." Harry stated as confusion clouded his brain.
"It was the deal," Zayn pressed his mouth against Harry's ear gently nipping. "It was the deal before I fell in love with you."
Harry turned and looked at Zayn in horror. He loved him? Why?
"Is the thought that horrifying?" Zayn turned away taking his warmth with him.
"No!" Harry shouted pulling Zayn back. "Zayn don't leave me. You can't."
"I can," Zayn said meeting his eyes. "But I just don't want to."
His lips crashed against Harry's and they became a mess of tangeled limbs.
Louis paced in front of the door waiting for Harry to come running through it. He had to, didn't he? Louis took a swig from the bottle he was holding trying to drown his pain. Nothing would make it go away except for Harry. So where was he? He kicked the end table sending its contents flying across the room. Harry had been with Zayn. For how long? They kissed today for God's sake! Did that mean nothing to him? Louis kept pacing as he waited for Harry to return.
A/N: Thank you all for all of the amazing reviews! You're all so lovely. Can't thank you enough.