Understanding Home
Summary: Discovery can't be easy for those hopelessly in love.
Sara sat on the bed in the Summers guest room the next night, her head on her knees, thinking. Grissom was here. In Rome. He was less than an hour away from her. She wondered if he'd figured out her clues or if he'd found an unusual bug.
The doorbell rang. She didn't answer it. Buffy had gone on patrol, stating that she need not answer the door, as any visitors had their own key.
She looked up at the sound of footsteps, recognizing the man who perched in the doorway instantly. Buffy had pictures of him all over the place.
"Dr. Giles, I presume?"
Giles smiled wryly. "Yes, actually. You must be Sara."
"Yep, that's me. Buffy's out for the moment. Can I help you?" Giles felt a pang at that news, but pushed it away. He was here on a mission, and this woman could help him. He hoped.
"Can I sit down?" he gestured to the room.
Sara shrugged. "It's all right with me."
He came in and sat at the edge of the bed. She looked at him for a long silent moment.
Giles cleared his throat. "I can see why Grissom cares for you."
Her head came up. "You know Grissom?"
"We met yesterday. A mutual colleague called us in on a case. It was a chance for me..."
"To see Buffy."
Giles ducked his head. "Yes."
Sara felt bad for her friend's heart. The man was obviously clueless. "You know, if you've talked to Grissom for any length of time, you know the beginnings of who he is. But you could spend a lifetime getting to know him and still not scratch the surface. That's the way most of us are. Buffy's no different. She's just the Senior Slayer, a warrior, to most people. To you."
Giles opened his mouth to speak, but Sara was on a roll. "Shut up, Giles. For too long, you've been blind. Blind and deaf to her. Well, I'm going to open your ears a little. Did it ever occur to you why she chose Rome as opposed to anywhere else, as to England?"
Giles made no effort to hide his bitterness. "To be with other men... away from her Slayer duties."
Sara snorted. "To be away from you. You and her so called friends, the ones who had no faith in her, the ones who didn't believe in her, the ones who couldn't give her the benefit of the doubt when it came to Spike. She's been right so many times before, and maybe she did occasionally put him first, but did it ever occur to you why? Why she was so angry with you and the others?" Giles shook his head.
Sara got off the bed, paced back and forth. "Buffy has fought so long and so hard to save the world. She has died twice to protect it, she has given up so much to ensure its survival and you hold an intervention. You show her that the bond between Watcher and Slayer is so thin you'll help people who don't know her throw her out of her own home. Boy, that's love for you. Hope no one ever loves ME like that."
Giles was speechless with horror. He hadn't realized that those memories still hurt her.
Sara looked at him. "She's mostly over that now, Giles. She had to get past that to work with you all to stop the First. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt. Doesn't mean she doesn't regret what she did to alienate you. Just means that's why she's here and not with you."
"Then why-?"
"Did she tell you she loves you? Because she does. She found out why your betrayal hurt so much more than anyone else and decided to see what you'd do about it." She grimaced. "Then you pushed her away by telling her it was a rebound. Ya see why she might be holding you at arms length? She doesn't think you trust her enough, that she's not special enough, to risk your heart on. If you'll turn against her after everything you two have been through, what happens when the two of you get together?" Giles shook his head. He looked devastated.
Sara took pity on him. She sat next to him and spoke softly. "She loves you, Rupert. She's trying to make life easier on you by staying away. The fact that she gets some satisfaction from is just a small bonus."
"How do I fix this?"
"The same way Grissom will have to. Lots of groveling, an action plan SHOWING her how you'll feel and how you'll fix it, and possibly some candy and flowers. And even after all that, she still might kick you to the curb. After all you DID rip her heart out and stomp it to pieces. She has every right to hate you."
Giles sighed. "She does." He looked at Sara. "Can you help me?"
She smiled regretfully. "I want to, but I can't. It's easy to tell you what I think you should do, but I'm afraid I'll steer you wrong. Buffy's trying really hard to get past her love for you, as I'm trying to do myself." She smiled wryly this time. "Buffy also made me promise that I not get involved. Says too many cooks spoil lunch."
Giles grimaced. "Great. Have to figure out Buffy without help. That will take a miracle."
She touched his arm. "Buffy Summers loves you, Rupert Giles. That is a miracle."
Giles smiled at the woman who was so good for his heart's key. "Yes, it is."
Sara looked at the wall. "She's lucky, you know. At least you want to fix this."
Giles frowned. "Grissom wants to fix the problems between you two as well."
Sara sighed. "Couldn't prove it by me. Look, he has to work out what he wants himself. I'm tired of trying. And you are going to have to do the same, for the same reasons. Buffy's trying to give up."
Rupert Giles got a stubborn look on his face. "There's no way I'm going to let her give up on me. I'll find a way to fix it. I will."
"Gonna take a lot of bandages to cover that wound."
Giles sighed. "I know." He stood up. "Thanks for the advice."
Sara waved her hand. "Don't mention it. Really." He smiled wryly and left his love's apartment.
End Understanding Home