Watching Home

Summary: Can the men who made the biggest mistakes of their lives when they isolated themselves from the women they love make amends? Will the women let them?

Later that night, Giles asked if he could accompany Buffy on one of her patrols. Since the young woman had become one of many Slayers, she hadn't had to patrol seriously for some time, but as Senior Slayer, she still felt obligated, and Giles jumped at any excuse to spend time with her that he could. Besides, Gil was trying to spend time with Sara, and with Buffy not there, Gil had a better chance.

They walked in silence for some time, the weather conducive to light jackets but nothing else, when Buffy startled him. "Did you like the picnic?"

He smiled and spoke. "Yes, thank you."

"It's been a long time since I had one."

"And some time since I had the pleasure of your company, before today." Her smile faded and Rupert kicked himself.

"And whose fault is that?" she demanded, raising a hand before she spoke. "Never mind, we both know the answer. Look, I just wanted to try to get our relationship on better footing."

"What footing?" Giles was hoping she would say romantic, but his Buffy was perverse at times. She didn't disappoint him.

"I made my move, you shot me down. So if all I can have is friends, I want friendship."

"Buffy, you've spent two months speaking to me only when Slaying business is involved. Is that...?"

She shook her head. "I thought it's what you wanted." He gaped at her, trying to figure out what words he said to give her that idea. He knew Sara had told him this, but that she had been right... "I guess it wasn't from the way Dawn talks. She said you practically begged her to help you."

"Buffy...never have I wanted the...impersonality of the last two months. It reminds me too much of..."

He stopped speaking, neither wanting to remember the last year in Sunnydale, when everyone had gotten so lost and they had lost sight of each other. It still hurt him to remember it.

"Then what do you want?"

He leaned close to her. "I want you, in my home, in my life, in my heart. I want us to build a life together. I want to come home every night knowing I'll see you." He lifted one hand and raised it to her cheek, stroking her soft skin. "I want what I so stupidly threw away."

She took his hand in hers and kissed it, then put it by his side. "Too late," she said sadly, turning to walk away. He took her hand and gently turned her back toward him. He held her shoulders and gazed into her beautiful eyes. "Am I?"

******

Sara looked into Gil's beautiful orbs as he said, "I hope not. I don't want to be." He released her and walked away a few steps. "How is it in every other part of my life I'm confident and secure, but when it comes to personal things, I'm useless?"

Sara smiled and spoke. "Because when the heart's involved, logic goes out the window." She paused. "Buffy and I have a lot in common, you know. When we have a personal situation, we tend to flee. Then, we either let it blow over, or come back for more of the same. You're not the only one involved in making this mess. If I had stayed and let you find the words any of those times, maybe we would have been happy sooner."

"You're so sure of this? That we'd be happy together? In the long run?"

Sara smiled wryly. "I don't know about the 'long run'. I just wanted to try dinner." She looked at him, at his grimace. She shook her head. "Amazing how we got here, isn't it? Once I would have done anything to have you want to be with me. Now, I'm too tired to try."

Grissom felt a huge surge of panic. She couldn't give up on him, she just couldn't. He'd just figured it all out. "Then let me."

*******

Buffy was surprised. "Huh?"

Giles looked desperate, an expression she'd rarely seen. "You said you're too tired to try to make this work. I'm not. So let me try to fix this."

She sighed. "It takes two to make a relationship."

"I know, but I broke ours." He grabbed her by the shoulders again. "Buffy, I need you. I miss you. I want you, I want so many things that have you at the center. Please let me do the work. Let me try to fix it." She started to speak but he interrupted. "Three dates, that's all I ask. If you don't agree after that...well, I'll step back. But let me try first." He looked scared now, truly scared that he might lose her.

She could hurt him the way he'd hurt her. She could say no, and it would end there, all her dreams of a life with him crushed in the streets of Rome. But he was everything she'd needed since she'd walked into a library so long ago and found her heart standing there.

He was her biggest weakness, and saying no would break her heart as well. So she said the only thing she could.

*********

Sara said, "All, right, three dates. No promises after that."

Both Rupert and Gil breathed a sign of relief. They still had a chance. (Don't blow it, old man) they thought.

End Watching Home