A decision

Chapter 21

Two days later

At her mother's house, Connie had another sleep-deprived night, tossing and turning.

She awakened early and went to the window of her room. Pushing back the curtains, she stared outside at the front lawn, which was illuminated by the blue-gray shades of dawn's early light. Smog drifted over the city mixed with the fog, softening the rigid tract layout of the cookie cutter homes on the street.

Birds chirped and the sun rose, as another workday rolled in. From the window, Connie glanced back at her forlorn, unmade bed. She wanted to crawl back into it and pull the covers over her head.

"I should be happy, " she said to herself, puzzled by her own inner emptiness.

The kind of successful career she desired, the well-ordered life she craved, was within her immediate grasp…but it was no longer enough.

A brief memory flashed through her mind. She recalled how, as a young junior prosecutor, she had been attracted to what she had believed back then was the debonair Marcus Woll. How naïve she had been to think he had been enamored with her, when in reality, he was only in love with himself.

She had certainly learned a hard lesson about love. Connie gazed back out the window, admiring the sunrise. As its beauty struck the darkness of the sky, Connie knew that despite resisting it with all her might, she could not no longer hide her true feelings from herself.

She was in love with Mike.

Connie didn't know when that had happened. It had slowly built up in time, probably in New York with their daily interactions. The realization of being in love with him had come over her, not with the immediacy of a summer thunderstorm, but with the slow persistence of the April rain.

All she knew was that whenever she was with Mike, her heart beat faster and she never felt lonely; only with Mike did she feel alive and whole.

And although she had recently been promoted to Senior Deputy District Attorney, she was no longer interested in climbing the legal ladder in LA.

All she wanted to do now was return to New York City and hopefully in the open arms of Mike Cutter.

She missed his clever observations, his snarky comments, his provocative conversations. A rush of desire suddenly filled her as she yearned to see him, the sensation overwhelming her. For not only did he put a smile on her face, but he put one on her heart as well.

Life without Mike would be slow and unbearably dull…much like how her life was now, she realized.

"Con-nie!"

Her mother was calling her from downstairs. She could hear all manner of noises as the home health aide was down in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Her mother's needs were well attended to.

Connie walked over and opened her bedroom door, "I'll be down in a moment!"

Closing the door again, her thoughts returned to Mike. All the times she was with him, her heart had resisted the inexorable pull of her feelings for him.

Not any longer.

It's time she started living her life with the person she loved, she decided resolutely.

But as she went over to make her bed, fear gripped her heart.

What if he did not want to see her? He may have felt that she'd put him through so much already. Her heart pounded violently and she felt weak all over at the thought that he may reject her.

Maybe he wasn't even missing her. Perhaps he was endeavoring to keep himself so busy that he had little time to dwell on their short time together in LA.

She had been a fool to let him go.

The bed was made and she got out the clothes she would wear to work. She was willing to take the chance to find out. Today would be a turning point in her career, her life, she determined.

It would start with Connie giving her two-weeks notice.

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(Two weeks later)

It was her last day at work.

She thought it only fitting that she say her final goodbye to DA Jerry Hardin, the one that gave her a chance here in the first place. She walked towards his office and through the opened door, noted him quietly working at his desk.

"Jerry," Connie hovered in Hardin's doorway, "I didn't want to bother you, but—"

DA Hardin had been looking over some administrative files when Connie had appeared. A smile appeared on his face as he gave a wave for her to enter and take a seat.

He sat back from his seat as he viewed his favorite employee.

"Well, Connie, " he spoke at last, "I guess there is nothing I could say that would change your mind about leaving…not a better office?…not a better position?…not a higher salary?…"

A feeling of sadness brushed over her at the word' leaving', but her heart knew it was time. She knew what she wanted and she had no second thoughts.

"We have already spoken of this, Jerry, " Connie forced an answering smile to her lips, "And the answer is still no. I've made my decision…but I thank you, Jerry, for the wonderful opportunity to work for you. I've certainly learned a lot here."

Hardin took a long breath. It was harder than he thought to let her go. Senseless, random thoughts came to him. He didn't understand it, but he was filled with a sense of loneliness, which was ridiculous. These drifting fantasies of his regarding Connie were never a possibility and he always knew that.

It was just... as long as she was here, she kept alive that hope that was buried deep in his heart.

Jerry's face was wiped clean of expression, "I thought as much. New York City is gaining back a great prosecutor. You will be sorely missed here."

His reluctant words sounded grimly pragmatic.

Connie stood up. There really wasn't anything more to say, "Good bye Jerry, and again, thank you for everything."

As she turned to leave, his parting words caused her heart to contract.

"I'm a sucker for happy endings you know," he stated to her back, "So good luck in New York with Cutter!"

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She was now back in her office, slowly and methodically she was putting all her personal effects from her desk into a cardboard box.

Smiling, she looked at the dozen daisies on her desk, sent by Paige Regan. In a short note, Paige had added that by the time Connie receives this bouquet, Paige would have arrived in New York City. She signed the card with a happy flourish, adding that Cyrus Lupo will be the one picking her up at the airport.

Seemed that Paige knew what she wanted, Connie thought happily. Now it was her turn.

Connie realized she was taking a big chance, flying all the way back to New York with no plans. It was so unlike her to chase rainbows, to take risks in life. She was all about organization and timetables.

But she needed to know if she had a real chance with Mike. And she was ready to put her heart on the line in order to find out.

"Connie, he-ey..."

Connie had been so deep in thought, she hadn't realize Joe Dekker standing in the doorway of her office.

"Joe," she greeted in her usual tone, as she placed her favorite law book in the box, "Do I detect an actual welcome from you?"

Without invitation he came up and stood next to her, "I've always felt hellos and goodbyes were basically a waste of time: just get to the point!"

Connie smiled, knowing this may be the last conversation she has with him, "That's you, all the way, Joe!"

Joe guffawed.

"But I'll make an exception with you, this time" added Joe, "I guess I'll have to say my salutations and closings all in one shot now!"

She smiled at his idea of light-heartedness.

"I'll miss you, too, Joe," she said.

"I figured you would," he nodded, "So...it's back to New York for you?"

"Yes," she replied, "and I'm actually looking forward to it!"

Joe tilted his head, questionably, "are you leaving...because of me?"

How typical! Connie exasperatingly thought. Naturally it would be all about Joe Dekker! So much for ending their working relationship on a high note! She stopped packing and turned to face Joe.

"There's a part of me that wished it were so, "Connie forced a smile, "but no, Joe, it has nothing to do with you."

She resumed putting things in the box.

Joe stood still, his body rigid, as if it had been carved in marble, "Good! Because I can finally tell you now how I feel about you. I really didn't think LA had been a good fit for you, so perhaps New York is where you belong!"

"How...utterly honest of you," Connie responded drolly.

"Hold on! I wasn't even done talking, but as usual, you felt a need to interrupt me..." claimed Dekker as Connie worked at not rolling her eyes.

She turned to give him her last bit of attention.

"Yes, Joe, what else did you want to say?"

Joe looked directly at her, "It's this, Connie...you are truly... one hell of a lawyer and it has been a privilege working with you!"

A faint smile touched Connie's lips.

"Once again, Joe," she said looking bemused, " just when I think I know you, you come up with something totally unexpected! Where were these accolades when I was working alongside you?"

Joe lifted a finger and pointed to his head, "in here, " he explained "locked away in my mind. I just never said it aloud. But you have to admit, Connie... my methods have made you think deeper, work harder, and it eventually made you a better lawyer, right? So if your prosecutory skills have improved during your time in LA, you have me to thank for that!"

Connie shook her head, enjoying the backhanded compliment. Joe Dekker would never change, but this time her smile was genuine, "Yes, Joe, it was all due to you! Thank you!'"

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It wasn't too much longer before she got a visit in her office from her two friends, Lizbeth and Heather.

"I wish you didn't have to go," Lizbeth offered, "but we understand...after all, you are off to be with the person you were meant to be with!"

"…and what a true love he is!" said Heather with a sigh, "to think you are going to be swept off your feet by the dreamy Mike Cutter! How romantic!"

Connie was going to miss all this light bantering from her friends.

"Alright, you two, " said Connie, "Enough with all the kidding…I told you…I'm going back to New York City because I miss living there and…."

She paused. Who was she trying to fool?

She looked appreciatively at her two best friends in LA, the ones that made her laugh, helped her to examine herself, encouraged her to grow this past year.

They were her friends for life.

"...and," Connie continued, "...I'm going back to New York City because I'm in love with Mike."

There. She admitted it outloud at last.

"Oh, Connie!" squealed Lizbeth, "He'll be the lucky one, if he gets you!"

"You bet!" exclaimed Heather, clapping her hands, "...and when you get there, you can tell that gorgeous hunk of a man that I think that too!"

Connie hugged each of her friends.

"..You know," Connie admitted, "I wish I didn't have to leave you two, I'll miss both of you so much!"

"Oh, stop that! " Lizbeth said, slightly sniffling, "and go after your Prince!"

"Yeah," said Heather, "and when you do, just remember one thing..."

Connie tilted her head as she looked at her good friend, "And what's that, Heather?"

Heather sighed with longing.

"...That from this seemingly ordinary life you've lived, a fairytale was given to you!"

There were tears in Connie's eyes.

She certainly hoped so.

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