Okay so I hate to sund like one of those weird writers on here begging for reviews because I'm happy enough with the reviews that are coming in but there are a lot more people favouriting this that there are reviewing and I'd like to hear what a lot of those people think of this story too. I usually wouldn't ask but there's people out there getting ten and twenty reviews for a chapter and most of the time their stories don't even make sense. I'm not whining I swear, I mostly write this story for myself and if other people read it that's great and I'm happy but when I know people are reading but not giving feedback I think it's unfair. I know I don't promote this story on Twitter or ask everyone to read this and that's because people might think I'm annoying and I don't want that. I want people to appriciate my hard work and for once, I want people to judge me. So for my faithful reviewers and readers, if I can ask a favour and you can refuse if you want but if you could tell people about this story because I feel that I've done a pretty good job of it so far and I update like 4 times a week with decent sized chapters unlike a lot of other writers who have 800 reviews and haven't updated in like 4 months with only 500 words in their chapters. But a huge Thank You goes to my reviewers that review almost every chapter, it let's me know that you like it and you care about the characters and the plot and I love that.

P.S I'm really sorry for venting but I just spent an hour writing all this out and I think Miley's character is starting to rub off on me!

Anyway... Enjoy :)

Miley POV

'Wow, I don't really know what to say to that', he says quietly. Oh My God! I've completely fucked this up! Why did I have to say that? He's completely freaked out. What was I thinking about thinking that he might feel the same way?

'You're right, this is a really stupid, crazy idea. I'm sorry', I say quickly as I get up and walk out. Great, I've just embarrassed myself in front of the guy I love. I don't even get the chance to say goodbye to Demi and Joe. I just leave. I go home. Home to where I'm safe and no one will judge me.

It's raining outside so I get soaked on the way home and I look like a drounded rat. I guess it has it's upsides, my tears aren't as obvious in the pouring rain. The streets are empty, just a couple of cars passing every once in a while. People in Los Angeles have more sense than me. Stupid me who admits that she loves someone and then runs off into the fucking rain. This has got to be the weirdest day of my life, my moods are so unpredictable and mixed up. One minute I'm fine and next minute I'm freaking out and making stupid decisions.

My parents look at me as I walk through the door. I sit down on the couch and hug Noah who I feel like I haven't seen in days, this whole week I've been realy distant from her. Noah and I used to be really close, like a week ago. Now I've only spoke to her like three times this week.

'Miles, you okay honey?', asks my mom

'Yeah, I'm okay',

'You sure?',

'Yes Mom, I'm fine', I say.

I've snapped, my temper is coming out. I hate when my mom presses for details on stuff that I don't want to talk about. I'm just having the worst day. This day has been the most confusing and awkward and weirdest day ever and I'm not used to this. I'm sick of feeling like this today. I just want to go back to the way I was yesterday and the day before. I don't mean to snap at my mom, I just don't want to be asked questions that I don't even know the answer of.

I leave the living room, I need out of here. I need a shower, I need my IPod and I need to vent. I need to scream and I need to cry. I'm just so frustrated, I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm just scared. I'm scared that I'll change, I hate change. I'm scared that Nick'll break my heart, what if he doesn't love me back? What if I feel for him, thinking he loved me back or at least cared for me and he doesn't? I'm starting to think maybe I'm bi-polar and not Demi. My emotions are everywhere. My self-esteem, my will to live and my frame of mind is at the bottom of the ocean.

I shower and change into fresh clothes. I sit for a while, strumming on my guitar. Before I know I'm strumming some new chords and my emotions just take over and I start to sing.

How come everything turns out leaving me with more doubts?
I feel like I'm upside down, and I don't wanna be here
I go right, should have gone left, and I say things I should have not said
Look at me in this big mess, I don't wanna be here

Everything I do is making me more confused
Oh, it used to be easy, all I had to be was me, now I'm mixed up
Everywhere I go is somewhere that I don't know
Oh, I hope that I'm dreaming 'cause I'm sick of this feeling
I'm mixed up, somebody help me.

I finish the song, practising it a couple more times, it really fits how I'm feeling. I almost cry singing it for the third time. Even once it's finished I'm still strumming, I decide to just go with it, it's always worked in the past when I've wrote a song. I kept strumming and just started singing,

I feel like I'm a millions miles away
From myself more and more these days
I've been down too many open roads
But they never lead me home

And now I just don't know who I really am, how it's gonna be
Is there something that I can't see?
I wanna understand

Maybe I will never be who I was before
Maybe I don't even know her anymore
Or maybe who I am today ain't so far from yesterday
Can I find a way to be every part of me?

Finishing that song made a new batch of tears seep through. My door knocks and Noah pokes her head through.

'Miley, are you okay?',

'Yeah Noie, I'm okay. I'm just feeling a little down', I admit and she comes over and hugs me.

It's one of those dark days where I don't know if the rain will stop. One of those days that it's best just to sit at home, watch a movie and cuddle an animal or pillow or in this case... Noah! So here I am, Noah and I are watching The Lion King in my room, rain beating off the windows and somehow Angel and Princess had found their way of cuddling into us too.

'I miss the times when we used to watch Disney movies together', Noah states and I feel a little ashamed. I'd completely abandoned her these last couple of days. For Noah and I, this cuddling while watching movies was a regular occurance until Nick came into my life.

'Me too Noie, I promise we'll do it more often',

'Can we watch another one?', she asks excited.

'Of course, which is your favourite?',

'Pochahontas', she smiles

'That's mine too. Go find it in your room and I'll go get some snacks', I say and she agrees.

While I'm downstairs my mom is in the kitchen baking some brownies.

'Need any help?', I ask and she smiles at me. Bless her, she's forgiven me already. I still feel guilty for snapping though.

'Mom, I'm really sorry about earlier. I'm just having a bad day and I didn't want to talk about it', I say and she hugs me.

'Miles, I'm your mother, I'm used to your mood swings. How's Noah? Is she okay?',

'Yeah, she seems fine. Why what happened?',

'Hopper died', my mom explains. Noah's pet rabbit, we'd had him for about two years. I was never really attached to him but Noah loved him.

'She didn't even tell me. How did she take it?',

'She cried for an hour straight, fell asleep and then when you came in she was only awake for abut five minutes',

'I feel so sorry for her',

'Yeah well she's turning into you, she won't speak to me a lot so if she talks to you...',

'Keep you in the know?',

'Yes. I just don't want her being like you',

'What's that mean?', I ask, I'm a little offended.

'I don't mean it in a bad way. You're a strong girl and ambitious and passionate about what you want to do and how you want to live your life. Noah's always wore her heart on her sleeve and she doesn't hide her emotions like you do. In a way it's me being a selfish mother, you and Brandi and Trace and even Braison have all grew up really quickly and you're all amazing in your own way but I still want Noah to depend on me, even just for a little while longer. I don't want her facing the big bad world yet. Noah wearing her heart on her sleeve means I can understand her more and know how she's feeling and help her',

'I understand Mom, I guess I'd be the same', I say and my mom looks at me sternly

'Don't even think about being a mother anytime soon', she warns and I laugh.

'I'll leave that to Brandi, Mom', I giggle and then Noah comes through the door

'Hey baby, wanna help us make brownies?', asks my mom and Noah nods.

'What about Pochahontas?', she turns to me

'We'll watch it after school tomorrow, I promise', I smile and she hugs me.

'So, was your little hissy fit about someone in particular earlier?', asks my mom, it's dark out and Noah has been sleeping for the last hour.

'No, I just, I was just having a bad day. My head was messed up',

'So it wasn't about Nick?', she asks, she's pushing for details again.

'No', I reply trying to stay calm. I don't want to blow up at her twice in one day, she doesn't deserve it.

I go to bed soon after but not to sleep. To reflect on today's events. It was such of a rollercoaster of a day and I made it through without breaking down. Kinda. I pick up my guitar again, I just strum, something I always do and if a song comes out of it then that's a good thing. I've wrote some of my most terrible songs while strumming and I've also wrote some really great songs on it.

So I might slip again
let it in now and then
that don't mean anything
I'm still good

I look around me
how did I get here?
not part of my plan
I ended up in a situation
that wasn't in my hands

I think about it
when I wanna give up
how to keep on goin'
how to keep my chin up
somehow I know it
I'm not gonna give up
I'm never gonna give up

So I might slip again
let it in now and then
that don't mean anything
I'm still good
trying to be my best
when I fall it's a mess
pick myself up again
I'm still good
I'm still good
I'm still good

Acoustically, I didn't like it but I loved the lyrics. I guess my mom is right, I am a strong person. I just lost faith in myself, something I should do when I have 'Keep The Faith' as lyrics to my first ever completed song and tattooed on my hand in arabic. I guess today was just a crazy day and I lost my mind or something.

'Where the hell have you been?', I hear from the tiny brunette who is currently climbing through my window, Demi.

'I just, I needed to be alone', I reply while helping her in, it's still raining outside and Demi is soaked.

'What happened Miles?', she asks and I shrug.

'Didn't he tell you?', I say as we go and sit on my bed

'No, he came back out of the bathroom like he'd been hit with a brick and then he just left',

'Yeah, I told him',

'Told him what?',

'That I love him, he didn't take it too well and I freaked out and left',

'What do you mean he didn't take it too well?',

'Demi you saw him, he looked... shocked',

'I thought he'd followed you here',

'No, I've been home for seven hours and I haven't seen him. I don't know if I want to see him. He freaked out like that and made me feel like I'd embarrassed myself',

'Well you didn't, you just told him how you felt. All your cards are on the table now, it's up to him to decide what's next. The ball's in his court',

'What if he doesn't want me?',

'Miles, don't be stupid. He's told you before that he wants you. If he didn't you wouldn't have had an agreement at all',

'Maybe it was all about sex with him',

'You're being silly. All I keep hearing is 'What if' and 'Maybe' Miley, grow some balls and face him. Tell him it's all or nothing',

'I'm just really unsure of everything',

'I know and that's what makes me want to shake you to see sense',

'Please do', I joke

'What's going to happen in school tomorrow when you see him? Are you just going to hide away from him?',

'Not just tomorrow but the next day and the next day, until I die basically',

'What happened to strong and independent Miley?',

'She fell in love. I'm so sick of everyone telling me today that I'm a strong person. Three hours ago I was crumbling',

'Quit being so dramatic. And as for three hours ago, look in the mirror. You're still here, in one piece. Now MY best friend, the girl you were yesterday, is in there somewhere and I want her back', she sulks at the end and I laugh at her.

'I still can't face him. Not yet, not until I gain my confidence back',

'And how long is that going to take?',

'I don't know but it may be soon, his birthday is coming up and I still want him to have my gift and enjoy his birthday',

'Well then sort out your emotions because that birthday gift includes me', she says cheerfully and I laugh again.

Any ideas what his birthday gift is?

Do you think maybe they'll get together soon?

Starting next chapter right... Now!

Comments?