Rose:

Martha was not happy that I took her home. I had a hard time reading her emotions at first. She was surprised and angry, yet sad I guess. I do that to people don't I? Remember Adam? From Utah? He really didn't want to go either. But it's best that I'm alone, especially right now. But as I was leaving I noticed something strange. On the telly a man called Dr. Lazarus said he was going to change "what it means to be human." Of course I couldn't let that one slide by without a 'how do you do.'

Putting on that tux was a little difficult for me. I kept remembering the last time I wore it, when we were in the parallel world the first time, where you are right now. Oh bother, I hope this tear drop dries off as well...

Martha's family is worse than yours! Completely messed up the Jones' are. I can say this for Jackie though, her slaps are still worse than Mrs. Jones. I can't believe it, it's always the mothers! I can still feel the mark where Jackie slapped me back in my previous form. Blimey that woman has an arm! Strangely Mrs. Jones doesn't like me for some reason. I didn't even do anything this time!

It was true, Dr. Lazarus had changed what it meant to be human. He altered his DNA to make him young again. At first I thought it was impossible for a seventy-six year old man to become young again, until I realized he only messed with his human DNA without knowing the consequences. He was mutating into an uncontrollable monster.

The whole subject of living more than one life is both a blessing and a curse to me. Of course, no one wants to die, but after years and years of seeing everyone around you fade away and losing everything you love, you just get tired. Sick and tired of the struggle and the will to survive.

I always end up alone, in the end. Everyone and everything I come in contact with will someday disappear. It always does. The same blessing is also a curse of the Time Lords.

Lazarus said it was a price worth paying, but I'm not so sure. But the time that I spent with you, the time I spent with all my past companions, the people I've met, the places I've seen...I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I just wish it all didn't have to end, that I wouldn't always end up alone.

Lazarus' fight for survival ending up being his destruction. He was uncontrollable, and he had to be stopped. I just wish that he didn't have to die. His quest for longevity had abruptly ended. I just hope I don't go the same way.

When I invited Martha on one more trip, I was surprised by her reaction. She said no. I was confused, until she explained. She didn't want to be just a guest anymore, she wanted to travel with me indefinitely. If that wasn't possible she didn't want to come, and I don't blame her.

I wrote before that I preferred to be alone, but when faced with the decision, I knew I couldn't bear it without someone there. As Donna said, I need someone to stop me when I get out of control.

So Martha's now my companion. She's still not replacing you though. I'm just glad that I won't be alone for a little while longer. But this too will eventually end, as does everything else.

-From-

Your Doctor