Dear Rose:

It seems I still have the capacity to land in the worst spots in time. I planned on taking Donna to Rome for some fun and adventure, but we accidentally landed in Pompeii, on the day before Volcano Day; one of the worst spots to pick in all of history. Donna was terribly upset and tried to stop everybody from getting killed, but I couldn't let her. Messing with time is a dangerous thing, especially with fixed points in time. She accused me of doing the same thing, but I know what I'm doing, I know when something or someone can be changed without damage to the timeline. She still tried though, I'm kind of proud of her.

It was really disturbing, there were people there who were seers and could tell the future. 'The Time Lord and the Daughter of London had arrived' was what they said, among other things. The two things that stick out most in my mind now is that the Pyroville's home planet had gone missing. That's three planets now that someone has said has just "disappeared'. Very strange indeed.

The other thing was that he said "She is returning." I have no idea what that means. It makes me think of you though. If there's the slightest chance that I may see you again someday... it brings hope to my heart. But the only way I could ever see you again was if one of us crossed the boundaries of the void between the parallel worlds, and that would be dangerous. I just wish you hadn't left at all. Some times it seems like you've been gone for ages, but yet, sometimes when I'm by myself in the TARDIS, I think of you and how clear your face is in my mind, it feels like you never left.

I mentioned the Pyrovilles before, but never explained why they were there. The Pyrovilles arrived on Earth, in Pompeii to be exact, and planned to use the power of the volcano to take them home. But to do that would mean that Pompeii was never destroyed. And I couldn't let that happen, because if Pompeii was never destroyed, the volcano that would erupt would destroy the entire earth. The choice that was put on me sounded like a simple one at first, the fate of one city or the world. But as my hands were on the lever, I realized what my role had played out to. I will destroy Pompeii. I am the one responsible for the terror and death of all those people. I hated myself at that moment.

Donna and I had made it back to the TARDIS before the lava came. I watched Donna as she desperately urged people to leave town, to save themselves. My hearts ached for her. What a traumatic experience, for both of us. Inside the TARDIS, she begged me just to save someone, at least one person. I adamantly told her no. No one could be saved, it would be changing a fixed point in time. With tears in her eyes she asked one last time. And I couldn't say no to her again. So I saved one family, four people from certain destruction. And we watched Pompeii as it was being covered in ash from a distant hilltop.

I didn't tell Donna but my head was burning as I felt the changes happening in the timeline, how four people who were supposed to be dead were now alive. Thankfully none of the Reapers showed up, so Lucius Caecilius Iucundus or his family never did anything important or life changing.

So not only am I the sole survivor of the Time War, the destroyer of the Time Lords and the Daleks, I am also the one who destroyed Pompeii. I hope I can live with myself now knowing that.

-So Lost Without You-

Your Doctor