a/n: Yes! Exams ended today and I finished this last chapter! Thank you everybody who even read a sentence of this fanfic: you guys rock!

Chapter Twenty-Two: Silver Lining

Fearing the worst wasn't Bolin's style. Mako often scolded him for being so optimistic but that was the only way Bolin knew how to live, to survive. While growing up in a tiny Earth Kingdom town was no easier for him than for his older brother, Bolin could always draw a silver lining from his heart whether a cloud existed or not. He had never failed at keeping a positive outlook – until now.

As he crashed through the woods, stumbling over fallen tree branches along the way, Bolin felt his resolve fading fast. He was no longer hopeful that Mako was still breathing, even though he kept up an unceasing mental mantra of "he's okay… he's okay… he's okay". To make matters worse, his seismic sense was compromised after banging his foot against a fallen log. Now his vision was turning up blurry with every throb of his right toe.

The muffled noise of the woods brought back memories of when they were young, playing in the woods past supper time. Back then the two brothers had never ventured this deep to play but even as a child Bolin had known Mako's tendency to hide in the trees when he wanted to be alone. Bolin never asked why. He was afraid of knowing the answer.

After a few more minutes, Bolin sensed the trees thinning and the sandy riverbank up ahead. Though his foot was still aching, he could "see" someone standing upright by the river, the outline hazy and overlapping, almost as though more than one person were there. A wave of relief washed over as, in his eagerness, he sprinted the rest of the way; his eyes snapping open once he was clear of the trees then –

He tripped on a log he had failed to see (or sense) and went sprawling into the sand, landing a few paces away from a pair of feet. Lying flat on his stomach, Bolin groaned and lifted his head just high enough to see another pair of feet join the first.

"What the –" Bolin rolled onto his back. To his utter amazement, the faces of none other than Shadow and Mako were peering down at him, half-surprised, half-amused. It took perhaps another ten seconds before he noticed that Shadow wasn't wearing makeup. For some reason, this fact alone scared Bolin more than the ringmaster's inexplicable presence.

Like his namesake, Shadow hovered near the base of a tree where, perhaps ten minutes before, he had cut Mako free from his binds after making him promise not to hurt himself. Mako had barely stood up when something had stumbled from the woods and crashed to the ground, rolling in the sand before landing flat on his stomach: Bolin.

Shadow had expected the younger brother's arrival but not so in this fashion. He knew the brothers shared a close bond and that, sooner or later, Bolin would cotton onto the fact that Mako was in trouble. The arrival rather later than Shadow had predicted (several hours late in fact) but the ringmaster was rather pleased that the brothers were now in the same place, sparing him the tedious work of tracking down Bolin before having their little chat. Not that Shadow was in any hurry to reveal everything; he just knew it had to be done and soon.

Meanwhile, Shadow watched the brothers from a distance as they sat in the sand face to face, the younger one earthbending a sandpit with one hand while listening to his older brother. Mako, as Shadow had expected, was spinning a wonderfully convincing yet severely altered version of what had occurred before Bolin unceremonious entrance. He conveniently left out the part about his failed suicide attempt and being tied to a tree. Predictably, Bolin seemed satisfied by these lies, even the part about "inexplicably bumping into Shadow who wanted to tell both of them about something important". Shadow wondered how life might have turned out if he himself had been so gullible.

When the sandpit was finished and Mako had started a decent campfire using some fallen branches, Shadow approached them. Up close, Bolin seemed content that his brother was safe. Mako immediately noticed Shadow's presence and spoke up at once, no pretense.

"Are you going to tell us what happened to Iriah?" he asked bluntly. Bolin, sitting next to him, jerked his head up in alarm, looking from Mako to Shadow.

Shadow shrugged before sitting down on the sandy riverbank in front of the flickering flames of the fire pit. "Yes, I am," he said, contemplating the orange flames.

"Uh, I'm sorry," said Bolin, looking anxious, "but what do you mean 'what happened to Iriah'?"

"That thing he wanted to tell us," Mako reminded his little brother. "So let's hear it."

"Fine," said Shadow. Involuntarily, he found himself digging his fingertips into the sand, keeping his hand clutched in a claw-like grasp. "I suppose we should start at the very beginning."

The brothers were silent and only the gentle river murmured as Shadow began.

"Three few years ago, I attended an Equalist rally in the Republic City. This was back when they were a little known protest group. I met a man there. Like me, he eventually went by a codename: Tal Hae. That man was Iriah's father."

Bolin gaped, his eyes wide. Beside him, Mako was still and quiet.

"We struck up a friendship, he and I," Shadow continued. "We had so very little in common but one thing we shared was a single goal: to bring down the Equalists. You see, even back then the Equalists were dangerous; they were silent in their endeavors, always covering their tracks whatever crimes they committed. Tal Hae and I agreed that we should put a stop to it. We formed our own secret society: the Counter Revolution.

"We did okay for a while, mostly attending the rallies and diverting planned crimes when we could. A couple others joined the Counter Revolution as well and things seemed to go according to plan." Shadow grimaced. "That is, until we were betrayed."

Bolin gulped; his eyes fearful. Mako asked, "Who was it?"

"We never did figure that out," said Shadow bitterly. "We all went by nicknames and our real identities were kept a secret. But the problem was that Tal Hae had become too famous by then as a probending champ. He even went as far to disguise himself but this guy – he was new – ratted him out to the Equalists. The traitor fled immediately before I'd had enough time to figure out who he really was. So without knowing the extent of the damage he'd caused, I started a warning chain. Basically, I could contact only one person, that person contacts another and so on. Once it started, our Counter Revolution was practically dead – whole families went into hiding because of it. Anyas, we each only knew one person's phone number but I also knew Tal Hae's. That night, his wife answered; said that he wasn't home yet, still at the probending arena. So I went to check and when I got there…"

An ugly darkness seemed to pass over Shadow's face, his hands curling into white fists. Through gritted teeth he managed four words: "it was too late."

One Year Ago

The stench of dirty, stagnant water rose up in coils of steam from the sewers; no doubt the plumbers were on strike again. Ignoring this, Shadow hurried down the street, silent as a night owl and keeping to the walls. In a garbage-strewn alleyway, he scanned the night gloom for any sounds of –

He stopped.

"Tal Hae?" whispered Shadow, trying to keep calm. He glanced behind him. Surely he'd be dead by now if they were still here? Silently, he approached the dark mass slumped sideways at the base of a streetlamp, its bulb broken and casting not a single spark. "It's me –"

He felt rather than saw it; the protruding handle of a regular kitchen knife, the blade impossibly deep. Heart hammering, he knelt beside the body, tearing off his gloves with his teeth before grabbing the cold wrist. No pulse.

A gross, unearthly wail nearly escaped Shadow's lips. He clamped a hand over his mouth, almost doubling over as first his torso than his entire body began to convulse with spasmodic bursts of grief. With one hand, he managed to turn the body around, fearing the worst yet unrelieved when he saw that the face had been left unscathed, unblemished. But it was the expression that did it. Shadow shook violently, his left hand suppressing the gasping sobs. Tal Hae's face was a white sheet, blank except for an expression of pathetic resignation.

Spasms of shock and anguish tore at Shadow's chest, his lungs heaving with the effort of sucking in air without making a sound. Shadow gently pulled the body into his arms even though they were shaking uncontrollably. Trying to steady his violent shivers, he bit down on his lip and drew blood. Hot tears seared down his cheeks, mixing with the blood. He could taste the salty copper.

With one arm, Shadow cradled Tal Hae's head, rocking back and forth yet unwilling to let his pain out in guttural waves. He wasn't afraid of Equalists then; he was just afraid he would never stop. He was also afraid that someone might find them, separate them. Rocking back and forth with one hand still blocking his mouth, Shadow wondered what it would be like to just stay there, cradling his dead friend, his companion, forever brothers.

The crack of dawn greeted the early risers of Republic City. Commuters began to hustle to train stations before the sun was completely up. A 13-year-old newspaper boy donned his patched hat, weaving between the teeming people, starting his usual morning rounds. A few minutes later, he turned into an alleyway and promptly crashed his bicycle into something lying spread-eagled on the ground.

By then, Shadow was long gone and was not around to hear the boy scream.

Present Day

Even though the brothers already knew about Iriah's father, they couldn't help but feel sick. It was also surprising to find that this man – however friendly he'd been with Tal hae – was more torn over the events of that night than Iriah had been. In comparison, the way she'd recounted the story had been stoic and detached.

"I couldn't report it to the police. See, we'd found out through the years that some of them were corrupt. If his body wasn't found in the right place and the Equalists noticed, it was the end for me. I ran away that night. Not from Republic City, but the last three years of my life."

"Why didn't you say anything to Iriah and her mother?" asked Mako indignantly. "They could've been targeted!"

Shadow shook his head. "The Equalists don't always kill people but when they do, they make sure the family suffers by letting them live with the loss. The grieving families set a good example of what happens to anyone working against the Revolution." He sighed, unclenching his fists and staring into his palms, not really seeing them. "But more than that, I was a coward. I was afraid to reveal that I was partly responsible. If I hadn't started the Counter Revolution, he'd still be alive and well. So I tried to forget it all. I didn't know what Iriah was going to do."

"She went after the killer," said Bolin, more to himself than Shadow but the ringmaster was nodding distractedly.

"I could've prevented everything and yet, like a fool, I was late again. By the time I pulled myself together, her mother had already passed away from shock. Iriah was in a state herself, almost insane with guilt. She couldn't have known what it was like to take another's life and it nearly destroyed her. She'd lost everything: her father, her mother, her innocence. All of it; gone.

"But there were more pressing matters," said Shadow. "I knew that the Equalists were coming even if the police were convinced it was an accident. Republic City was no longer safe for her. So I did what I could: I started a traveling circus and started recruiting performers. It wasn't difficult to convince Iriah: she was willing to run away from her past, just as I'd done."

"You started a traveling circus just to hide Iriah?" asked Bolin incredulously.

Shadow nodded. "Iriah was completely closed off at first: wouldn't eat, talk or do anything. I didn't dare reveal that I'd known her father but over time, I found one thing that could get her to open up: magic tricks."

This time, it was Mako's turn to be incredulous. "Magic tricks?" he echoed.

"Not just ordinary magic tricks: firebending illusions," Shadow explained. "Like her father, she was a gifted firebender. She spent hours just practicing but every time I taught her a new trick, she would open up little by little. After a few months, she was ready for more advanced magic acts. That was when I made my second mistake."

The campfire popped and crackled. Bolin jumped but relaxed when he saw that it was just a beetle which had landed in the flames. The spitting flames were reflected in Shadow's eyes, his expression regretful.

Turning to Mako Shadow said, "I've already told you that it wasn't your fault, Mako. You didn't kill Iriah." He paused. "But Yongzheng didn't do it either." Both Bolin and Mako looked astounded. Shadow continued, "You two don't know it but I was actually the last person to see Iriah alive. She was badly burned when they brought her to the hospital but still breathing, just barely. The minute I saw her injuries, I knew what she'd done.

"Her injuries weren't the result of a combat. They were the result of an incredibly dangerous firebending illusion act which I assume she performed to drive her opponent away."

"That's insane!" exclaimed Bolin. "How are you so sure of this?"

"Because I was the one who taught it to her," admitted Shadow with the air of a man determined to confess all his sins. "Phoenix Mirage. The ultimate firebending illusion. I had my doubts when Iriah first asked me to teach her, but she refused to back down. She wanted to learn it that badly."

"Why? If it was so dangerous, why learn it?" asked Bolin.

"Phoenix Mirage is a two-part act. In the first part, the magician wraps himself in cloth and sets it on fire. Before the magician is roasted alive, he or she performs a body swap with a stage dummy. In the second part, the embers of the burning remains are used to create a life-like model of a phoenix. Of course, a phoenix isn't the only thing you can make."

Bolin and Mako instinctively looked at each other. The campfire crackled again and, through the orange light cast by the flames, the brothers understood.

"She wanted to see…" began Bolin.

"…her father," Mako finished.

"You see why I was a fool?" said Shadow ruefully. "Even after all the mistakes I'd made, I was still blind. I knew why she wanted to learn it – I even envied her ability to do so – but I still relented. What I should've realized was the disservice I was presenting to Iriah. Instead of encouraging her to move on, I allowed her the means to cling to a treasured yet terrible memory."

At the words 'terrible memory', something clicked in Mako's brain. Without warning, he understood Iriah's actions in the alleyway.

"Iriah… she wasn't trying to save me," said Mako slowly. "Not really… she was trying to save... her father."

Bolin gaped. "You mean… after all that time, she –"

" – she couldn't forget it," said Shadow. "The grief and pain, the guilt, she never let any of it go. And in the end, even when she knew it was a different person who was in danger, she put her life on the line in hopes of assuaging her own guilt. If she could travel back in time, she would've done the same for her father. To her, she alone was responsible for his death." Shadow sighed, a long drawn out breath of regret. "I never did tell her about the Counter Revolution but considering everything, I somehow doubt it would've mattered. When I failed to prevent her revenge, I failed to save her. And that's what really happened."

For a long while, the three of them were silent; the only sounds being the occasional crackle of the campfire and the chirping of crickets. Mako felt both relieved and saddened as if his body couldn't decide whether to be ill or not. He imagined Iriah, somewhere warm and safe with her father. Mako bowed his head and let a single tear slide down his cheek, smiling tremulously.

Bolin was earthbending the surrounding sand in circles, thinking about his own father. He wondered how their mother was doing and if Min and Mireu were still sound asleep. And then his wandering mind turned to Mako who was right next to him. It was a strange feeling to know that a few hours ago, he'd been scared to find his brother dead and now they were sitting together under the stars together, contemplating life without calling it that.

As for Shadow, he felt the unexpected urge to smile, to laugh, to cry. His secret was finally out to the two people he'd never dreamed of sharing it with. He thought of Tal Hae and Iriah, and how they were both as far and distant as the twinkling stars above; how he, Shadow, was alone.

As the sun bled crimson over the horizon, the campfire sizzled and died out, Mako having dozed off a few hours before. Bolin's head was lolling to the side, his eyelids in a constant flutter between sleep and wake.

And where was Shadow? He'd left shortly after Bolin fell asleep but not before leaving a large paper popcorn bag with the circus logo on it. The neck was twisted and beside it lay a sealed envelope.

When Mako stirred after first light, he opened the popcorn bag to find – not popcorn – but money. They weren't old coins either: Republic City currency printed with Avatar Aang's face on one side; real yuans. By the time Bolin woke up, Mako had finished the letter accompanying the bag of cash and he passed it to his younger brother for him to read.

Straightening the letter, Bolin read, wondering why Mako seemed so delighted to be holding a crumpled bag of popcorn that smelled nothing like butter or salt.

Dear Brothers,

By the time you read this, my circus will have already departed. But even so, I couldn't leave without a last word so here it is.

It was a pleasure meeting you both and I regret that the time has come for us to part ways. I regret your time with Iriah was so short as well. Even though I knew her mostly through our shared loss, she was a wonderful person as you must already know.

As a departing gift, I leave you with Iriah's wages; she never spent any of it. I'm sure she would like you to put it to good use. In the envelope you will find a present from me. They are two tickets to a passage aboard a ship that leaves from a port three miles from here. It'll take you straight to Republic City harbor. The choice is entirely yours but I'm sure whatever you choose, it will be the right one.

Always look out for each other and your family.

Shadow

A/N: I'm wondering if I should write a short epilogue to this. Drop me a line in your review or PM me, okay? Thanks for reading~~