I know.....I have no life.

My Darkness

I felt like Cinderella and her evil stepmother found her out, before Prince Charming could even see if the shoe fit. The worst part of that is he sat at my station, so I had to talk to him. I didn't make eye contact, maybe he won't know it's me, who was I kidding. "Hey, I'm Bena Elizabeth, I'll be your server. What would you like to drink?" I said like I do to every consumer at the bar.

"Bena," he said happy to see me, I wasn't getting out of this one. "I would think you would be in Forks,"

"What drink?" I repeated, "I can't leave that town or something?" I questioned

"Bena, I'm sorry. You know that, I don't even work for them anymore," Mark said pleading for forgiveness

"You aspect me to forgive you like that?" I said now leading over the counter, knowing that this conversation wasn't just a hi, bye one.

"I know, but can you add lest try?"

"Umm, well….it's not that I hate you now and ever, cause I don't," I can't believe I'm telling him this I can't even admit this to myself, I took a deep breath, "I want to forgive you, I really do."

"Then what?" he asked, I knew he wasn't trying to influence me because my thoughts were still intact.

"I don't want to get hurt again….my exact words to you where don't break me….and you did exactly that," I took another deep breath, "I don't think I can ever fully truth you,"

"But, Bena," he placed his hand on mine, "I didn't want to break you,"

"I know," I sighed

"Bena! You are suppose to be working. Look," Mandy yelled at me, and pointed to all the new consumers I neglected to serve.

"I'm sorry," I called back

"Yeah," she said carelessly

"I can't do this now," I told Mark walking away from him

"When do you get off?"

"Twelve,"

"I'll wait for you then," there was nothing I could really do

"Okay," I sighed

"Bena!" Mandy shouted again

"I'm going, I'm going," I called back, now asking the next person what they want to drink.

Mish was surprisingly nice to me; she helped me clean up and picked up my slack when I was talking to Mark. When I changed back to my jeans and sweatshirt and said bye to Mish and Mandy, I was waiting for me outside the diner. I took a breath before walking up to him, if Edward could see me now.

"Okay, Bena" Mark said as we walking up and down the city that never sleeps.

"Okay, so I don't even like saying this to myself but it's true. I still love you Mark, but Italy-"

"Bena forget Italy, it's a new day. Let's start new,"

"Mark, I can't forget Italy!" why would he say that, "I killed someone," I mumbled, we stop walking.

"Bena, oh my gosh. Get over it!" he said trying to knock sense into me. "It was bound to happen, it's our nature," he was right, "Bena your not one of them anymore," he said softly, I didn't respond. "Bena, I'm really sorry,"

"I know, you mentioned that," he smiled at my humor, "We'll go slow, how about that,"

"Okay, I can deal with slow," he grabbed my hand, swing it with the wind.

"So why are you here?" I asked, "In New York?"

"Well, I told you I was an eastern nomad…so I thought I would try it out,"

"Oh,……. Bella got married, you know, to Edward."

"Is that why you left?"

"No, too many memories," he nodded, his eyes seemed like they could be the light to my darkness but then again he was part of my darkness.