I wish I was cool enough to own Artemis Fowl. But I don't.

The youth sat in the LEP shuttle, pondering the news Butler had so suddenly sprung on him. A ghost of his old intellect came up, and Artemis decided that the Atlantis Complex treatment was a reasonable excuse for this whole mess.

"So... How does this news affect you?" inquired Butler.

"I think... I think I can handle it. It all makes sense. When the Atlantis Complex developed into multiple personality disorder, it gave me a would-be alter ego, Orion. I think these treatments have merged "Orion" and "Artemis" into one person. Me."

"I see. Are you upset?"

"No, my good friend, I don't think so. Allow me to think for now in silence," kindly ordered Artemis.

Many thoughts swirled inside the boy's head, but the most prominent one would shock anyone who knew anything regarding Artemis Fowl. Apparently when I was saving the demons and doing the whole time-travelling business there was a girl involved. A genius, like me, or at least like I used to be. What did Butler tell me her name was? Miranda? No. Michelle? No. Minerva! That's it! How could I forget about this girl? At my approximation it has been a year and a half since we last met. She was 12 and a half, so now she is... 14! Like me! Or how I feel... since biologically I'm 15 and a half... I will find her! There was so much potential!

All of a sudden, it seemed to Butler, Artemis cried, "I must ask Foaly!"

"Excuse me? Did I miss a train of thought here? I can contact him if you'd like," replied a dazed Butler.

"Yes, please!"

Butler expertly prodded the touch screen a couple times until Foaly's face filled the screen.

"How goes it man of the mud? How're the memories fitting in your mind?" asked an eager centaur.

"Fine, fine. I need you to do a quick search for me on your top of the line computer. Quickly." Artemis knew the fastest way to persuade Foaly of something was to compliment any gadget of his.

"Why of course! Did I show you how much faster it goes now? You'll be amazed!"

"Just run the search!"

"Fine, fine! A little testy are we? What am I searching for?"

"Minerva... uhhh. Butler! What was her last name?"

A confused bodyguard replied, "It was Paradizo, but I can assure you that she is no threat to us."

As soon as "Paradizo" came out Artemis was shrieking at Foaly, "Minerva Paradizo! Find me where she lives and an updated picture of her!"

Foaly was puzzled, but knew from experience that sometimes it was better not to ask questions. Butler however was more vocal with his concerns and questions.

"Artemis! What are you doing? Why is this girl suddenly so important?" Butler trailed off, looking at the expression on Artemis' face. He was gazing at her picture with an expression Butler had never seen on this youth before, love.

"Oh no! Please Artemis, tell me you're joking! You told me once that you would be the first person to ever control their hormones. If the situation is so severe you shouldn't be concerned with this right now," screamed Butler. He only partly understood the situation.

"524 Luna Crescent, England," mumbled Artemis, but in a quick change of tone, yelled, "Come on Butler! No time to dawdle! I must see her at once!"

"Woah! We aren't going anywhere until you give me some reasons for this!" exclaimed Butler.

"I must see her! I miss her and I feel eternally guilty for leaving her without a single message for what appears to a year and a half! I must go see my lady!" insisted Artemis.

"Oh brother," said Foaly, "you can borrow the shuttle, but try to have it back in one piece!" He shut down his camera so the screen was blank again.

"ARTEMIS! This is clearly the "Orion" side of you speaking. Are you fully in command of your mental capabilities?"

"Of course! Stop delaying!"

"Hmmm... What is the formula for area of a circle?"

Artemis sighed. "If you insist. It is pi r squared. No pie are round. People who get this joke are square!" Artemis burst out laughing at his cheesy joke. Butler was worried. The old Artemis would never tell a joke like that! What have we got ourselves into? He wondered.

"Now, off we go!" insisted Artemis, "I must see my lovely maiden! Take me to her!"

Butler entered the coordinates into the GPS and set off without a word. His soldier's sense wasn't tingling, but he still had a pretty bad feeling about this...

What adventures could be coming up? Will Artemis find Minerva? Will Minerva remember Artemis? Stay tuned till next chapter! Thanks! Oh and did you love the math joke? Only certain people can get it! Review if you did! Review if you didn't! Until next time! Ta-ta! (Oh and I'm sorry that all the lines are stuck together but I can't figure out how to space them properly! Please review if you can tell me how to do it!)