Hello! I did it. I got it out. Finally. I know it's been a while since the last one, so thanks to anyone reading. Artemis goes to Minerva. Enjoy. I worked for this chapter, so review! This chapter is really long, so I'm not sure when the next one will be out. I'll try, but you better review.

"Please state the purpose of your presence and look into the camera to your left," dully stated an intercom at Minerva's front door. What am I supposed to say? Hi, my name is Artemis; I'm here to profess my love to Minerva. Shaking my head, I simply say "This is Artemis Fowl, here to pay Minerva Paradizo a visit." I then turn my head and smile into the camera.

I hear noises inside, and wait a solid 3 minutes before I receive any communication.

"She'll accept your visit. Please follow the butler when he opens the door to you, and he will lead you to her lounge."

I grin, and greet the grim man who opens the door with a "hello", and then follow as he silently leads me inside the gorgeous home. We go up a beautiful, sweeping staircase, and then a second one, and pass over lush carpets. He leads me to a room at the end of a hall, and with a bow, leaves me to fulfill my desire. I'm aware that there are an abundance of cameras watching my every move, and Minerva may be watching me right now, but I hesitate before entering. I wonder if I should knock, or just go in. What will I say? How should I act?

"Butler," I whisper quietly, although I know he can't help me. I pull my gift out of my pocket just for an instant, for courage. Just as I go to knock on her mahogany door, it flies away from me, and is instead replaced by the occupant herself. She's not how I remembered. She's much, much better. The year and a half has changed her, I assume intellectually, but my newfound teenage hormones notice mainly the physical aspects. Before I get too distracted, I glance up, and try to speak.

"Hi, I'm Artemis Fowl. How are you?" I manage. I'm ashamed to have said that. Really? The best I can do is introduce myself, while she already knows who I am, and ask her how she is. I suppress the urge to flee, that, or hit my head against the wall multiple times.

"Arty...? It's been ages! Where have you been? I missed y—I mean, I never heard from you, so I wondered."

Was she about to say she missed me? My face breaks into a grin without my consent.

"Well, it's sort of a long story, but I really wanted to come see you." I look up shyly at her, and add, "I missed you too." This could be a risky move, but if it's successful, it will be a very good tactic. She smiles back at me, but looks a little confused. I forgot she would be used to the genius, loner-type Artemis. This will be fun to explain...

Minerva steps aside, so I follow her into her lounge. It is a massive, wonderfully decorated room. It seems as though she doesn't get many visitors, because there is simply a desk, and one couch, while the rest of the space is occupied with numerous bookshelves, computers, and different pieces of art. I gaze in awe, astounded by this majestic room.

"So what's the reason for your visit? Not that I mind, I just mean why now?" She fumbled a bit, and had a hint of blush on her cheeks. Her eyes kept darting to the cozy couch on the other side of the room. "But first, please allow me to be a better hostess. Come, sit." She looked nervous suggesting we sit together on this couch, conveniently named a "loveseat". I notice how she has changed from complete genius language, to simply an intelligent-teenage-girl-type language. It was a welcome surprise that my vocabulary wouldn't seem too out of place.

"Of course!" I sat down next to this gorgeous woman and turned to face her. How ridiculous to place this small a couch in this large a room. Then again, it does allow me to be quite close to her, which is quite a benefit. I refuse to let my mind wander to whether there is another guy she had this couch planned for. She looks at me expectantly, and I take that as my cue to start. I take a deep breath and begin.

I talk about demons, inter-dimension travelling, amnesia, age confusion, and very importantly, Orion. When I finish, I'm afraid to look up at her, in case she's angry, or too confused, or thinks I'm mocking her.

"Wow." She finally breaks the silence that was verging on awkward. "So… I guess I know why you never called me." She smiles, and winks at me.

"To be fair, you never gave me your number." I protested.

"I'm sure it would take more than that to stop you. You obviously figured a couple things out, otherwise you wouldn't be here."

"I'm sorry, but the suspense is killing me. What are you thinking?" I finally blurt out.

She chuckles. "Well, it sounds impossible, really. It would never happen in a million years." I feel despair creeping up on me. She doesn't believe me. I sigh, and start to get up and leave when she continues speaking.

"Where are you going? You have to let me finish. The story is so incredible, which is why it obviously happened. No fool would show up with a story that detailed and confusing without it being true. Also, you're Artemis Fowl. I remember your luck." She grins at me, and the next thing I know, I have my arms wrapped around her. She hesitates for a moment, but then joins me in the embrace. After a moment we straighten up and I clear my throat, embarrassed.

Right at that moment, I remember Butler's words of advice. The gift. I still had it in my pocket. This might be the best chance I'll get to give it to her. I gather some courage, and address her.

"I have something for you, a gift."

"Really? That's so sweet of you!"

I blush, but I force myself to proceed. "You have to close your eyes and stick out your hands."

She laughs a bit, but complies, and shuts her eyes, while thrusting her arms out at me. I think of my gift, and how perfect it is.

In the secret compartment in the shuttle, I noticed how its walls glowed in the dark, with just a slight luminescence. It was stirring around in my mind, and I saw it was the work of a dwarf. Not just any dwarf, but Mulch Diggums. Vague pieces of memories came together when I saw this bright object. I remembered it was from our deception of Opal Koboi, an evil pixie. Mulch had to creep into her shuttle for our mission. I suppose he saw this delightful -and priceless- article and decided to keep it. He mustn't have had time to retrieve it, so Butler and I found it. Opal's diamond earring, the size of an egg. Unfortunately there was only one earring, but he conveniently had strung it on a chain, so it made for a breath-taking necklace.

"Um… Hello? Are my eyes closed for a reason?" Minerva's question snapped me back to the present. In the shuttle, I honestly had all intentions of giving it to her, but looking at her face, I just couldn't do it. A secondary gift idea came to me, and it rooted itself in my mind.

Before I could stop myself, I pocket the gem and lean into Minerva. I don't think about it, for fear I would convince myself not to, but instead press my lips against hers, hoping for a reaction. I see her eyes snap open, and I quickly put a few feet's distance between us.

"I, I, I have to go!" I stammer, but Minerva drags me back down to the couch before I could leave. A smile splits Minerva's face, but I barely have time to notice before she pulls me into another kiss. This time, it's my turn to be shocked, but I don't take very long to forget my insecurities. No words could describe this ecstasy, not even the words the old Artemis knew. I don't know how long we sat there. It was much too short for my liking, but also felt like years had passed. We eventually broke apart and I could feel my face matching Minerva's, grinning like fools.

"Wow." That didn't cover it on any level, but it was all I could manage.

"I know. And you tried to run away from this!" She begins to laugh at me, but I'm in such a good mood that it doesn't matter. "That was some present!"

I laugh with her, wishing I had been bold enough to plan that at the beginning, instead of making it up on the spot. One question was on both our minds now. I voiced it.

"What now?"

"Well, if what you're saying is true -and I don't doubt you- then we are essentially the same age. We're lucky that this wouldn't end up being quite creepy. I have no parents to speak of, and yours think you're dead." I wince, but she continues. "I see no problem with… with having a relationship. If you want one, that is!" She looks away, creating crimson spots on her cheeks.

"How do you think I feel? I made the first move."

"Well, technically I invited you on the couch first."

"Yes, but I found your house."

"Fine…"

"I've told you all about me, why don't you tell me about you? Do you have a boyfriend?" I say with a wink.

"Oh yeah, tons of guys want to hook up with me. My phone is off the hook." She sighs. "Are you kidding me? No one wants to go out with me. I'm not that blonde, pretty twig, who goes shopping and competes against her friends to see who can get the most BBM contacts and win the popularity contest!" She seemed to need to vent, so I let her. "No one wants to see a girl who –God forbid- needs to wear a size 6! It's a size 0, or you're worth zero." She let out a noise of frustration and buried her head in her hands. I decided to intervene.

"Hey, don't worry, I was just joking," I said soothingly. "I think you're smoking hot. I mean, look at you!"

"Oh stop!"

"Seriously! I could go into detail, but that would only embarrass me and you."

I take a moment to appreciate her curves. She was not the typical twig, as she had pointed out, but she was gorgeous. I felt weird thinking about girls this way, as it was a first. Her butt was cute and round. She had a decently small waist, which led up to full breasts, just tempting me. She had full lips, and long eyelashes. She had long hair, pulled into a ponytail, which I suspected was striking when put down. She wore glasses which, in my opinion, suited her. I supposed she noticed me surveying her body, because she crossed her arms over her chest and spoke.

"Ok, I get it. No need to be so obvious." She clearly wasn't mad however, because I saw a hint of a smile playing on her lips. Her next words proved this point as well. "How would you like it if I stared at your crotch? Feels kind of weird, doesn't it?"

Many flirty, or even provocative sentences came to mind. I don't mind at all, in fact I quite enjoy it. Do you want a closer look? I think I need to prove just how hot I think you are. Fortunately, I said none of these. I simply raised one eyebrow and smirked at her, letting her make whatever she wanted out of that.

Like it? Review. Please. Imagine how long it takes to write, compared to how long it takes to review. Motivate me!