Totally srry i thought i uploaded a bunch of chapters i didnt this is the rel chapter 12...srry ~hahlolhah

Holding Back

Seth growled under his breath, 'What are you doing here?" he asked, standing his ground.

"I would ask you the same question, I guess I wasn't clear when I said she was mine," Mark said pulling away from the wall he was once leaned on, about to attack but held back. Seth growled again.

"Guys, please," I begged, trying to stop the fighting.

"Bena how could you do this to me? Pick him over me," Mark snarled.

"Well it's complicated," trying to avoid the topic.

"Love is never complicated; you just like to make it that way,"

"I make it complicated," I laughed sarcastically, "it wouldn't be so complicated if you didn't give he freaking headaches," I snapped back at him.

"I'm sorry" he ashamed, "i just wanted all to myself. I thought maybe..just maybe..if..if," he looked up at me, "Bena, I'm sorry,". I wanted to run up and hug him but at the same time i wanted him died for what he did. I didn't respond for a long time, trying to understand his reasoning. Seth hissed at him.

"Bena, I'm sorry," Mark repeated, walking up a little closer to my bed, but Seth was blocking his way.

"Seth," I said grabbing his arm; he turned around placing his hand on mind. "I need to talk to Mark," he knew what I meant he was going to have to leave the room. He didn't want to, "Please, it will only be a few seconds," I pleaded. "Seth for me?" he looked back at Mark then to me.

"Okay, I'll be right outside the door," he turned to Mark, "If you hurt her again, your died," he threaten. He gave Mark one last look before leaving the room.

"Mark," I said beckoning him closer. "Mark, I do-," he pressed his fingers on my lips and kissed me. I pulled away; "Mark, I can't" I started.

"Damn it, Bena," he said moving away from me, "I can't not love you. I tried once you left me in NYC. You said we would take it slow. I didn't think it was going to be so slow that you forgot."

"Mark, I didn't forget you," he said reaching out to him. He pulled away.

"Damn it, Bena," he repeated, "What do you want from me?" he wanted to kiss me again but he knew I would refuse.

"I don't know what I want. I'm sorry, it just happened. I didn't mean to hurt you,"

"So that's it then?" he questioned, "It just happened, so are you picking him?" Silent tears rolled down my face.

"Mark, you are the one that tried to change me back in a human!" I agured back

"Well, I would think maybe she might not ran away from me, if i change her back maybe she will remember that day we meet. To be like old times. I didn't think this would happen!" he was referring to me not being able to change back to a vampire.

"But, you can't just leave," i said in a small voice

"What does it matter!? Your not going to change your mind, and I tried and you know we can't be just friends for too long before things get heated, and plus your family hates me," he was about to leap out the window.

"Well my family are going to live with you being my friend," I smiled wryly, "I know you said we can't be friends but, I bet we can," I smiled; he chuckled, and shook his head.

"Maybe, we should just end it here,"

"I don't want it to end yet," I smiled, not wanting him to go, "Bye, Bena. See you around," he said leaping out my window. That was it.

A few more weeks past, I changed back fully to my normal vampire self, but there are still some lingering symptoms. Bella been acting funny it's probably just nerves, about the Volturi coming. I finally got outside to hunt, it felt so refreshing. When I went Mark was there.

"Hey stranger," he said smiling at me, we were at our spot.

"Hey," I said causally. And that was it. There was an awkward silence, Mark was right we can't be just friends. I wanted to say something else but he was already gone.

All of a sudden Seth walked behind me wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing my neck I giggled. I wrapped my arms around his neck, I kissed him. Seth thinks that I told Mark it's over since when he came back in the room Mark was gone. I haven't told him we were trying to be friends, because I was trying to be friends. We finally pulled away from each other. He smiled at me.

"I love you," I blurted out. Not knowing what else to say. He pulled me closer, holding me tight against his body. "I love you more," he whispered into my ear his hot breath graced my face. And it was probably true.

A gust of wind blew by us, "It's time," we both said, wishing it wasn't.

Once we got to the house everyone had already left, "Are you still staying?" Seth asked. I nodded, "I'm not ready, you go fight for me," I smiled. He hesitated, "Go I'll be fine," he gave me a quick kiss before he ran out the door transferring into a wolf. "Be safe," I called out after him. After that, I ran up the stairs, and into my room, but when I opened the door. "Mark," I said breathless.

"I would think you would have gone with the other," he said

"I would say the same to you," I said puzzled. He sighed and looked down.

"Bena, we need to talk,"

"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked also laughing, but he wasn't laughing. "I think we should sit down,' I offered, and we sat on my bed.

"I told I can't do this," I nodded, "and when I see you….and him together," he growled, "It takes all my strength no to rip his throat out," I put my hand on his shoulder, he shrugged it off. "Bena," he said looking at me. "You picked him; you can't have both of us,"

"Why not? Why can't I have both of you," where is my cousin when i need her she had boy problems before...she would know what to do. I never really wanted to bother her with it thought because of the battle...

"You know clearly why," he yelled getting up, "Stop playing with me, Bena,"

"Mark, clam down, we can work something out," I stand standing up walking towards him.

"What he can have you during the week and I will get you on weekends?"

"Clearly not, he would get more days and that wouldn't be fair," he looked at he like I was crazy for actually considering it. "I was joking,"

"Bena, I'm serious! Please be serious for like two seconds,"

"No, I can't be serious, I been serious!"

"Bena, I just came here to say. You're happy now. And I don't want to take that away again, I want you to be happy. When we were together….it was different. But with Seth you look much happier,"

"I was happy when I was with you,"

"No, you weren't, I saw it in your eyes. You weren't happy. You were pleased content."

"I loved you,"

"Exactly, you loved. You don't love me anymore,"

"I think I should go, to the battle," trying to end the conversation

"That would be a good idea,"

I stepped closer to him; he was looking deep into my eyes. He leaded in closer, kissing me. It inflamed my body. Once our lips touch they could be pulled apart. I couldn't hold back, Think logically I told myself pulling away. I touched my lips and stepped away.

Even when I kiss Seth I have to hold back. Edward said even though he's a werewolf his still human and I can hurt him. So I do hold back with Seth, but with Mark, I don't have to. "Bye, Bena," he said, leaving my room, and this time for good. But maybe hold back is worth it.

Hopefully the story makes sense now :)