Believing

After three months of waiting, after three months of thinking my brother's words were a lie.

I believed him, after three months.

I realized he was right and no one was coming back for me. That it was just me against the world.

I didn't want to believe that even Seth stopped looking for me, that he stopped thinking of ways to save me. I would always think, as I twirled the ring that hung on my neck. The plain silver band and humble diamond reminding me, that I once was able to love and that someone, not out of obligation, returned that love.

But how can I still think at? I am here alone, and could end up suffering for all eternity. I saw my brother's tight smile, his forced tight smile, play on his lips every time I tell him how I hate it here and how I want to go back to the Cullens. And he would constantly remind me of how they don't love me and it's only him and Aro that truly care for my well-being.

I break the chain that hung around my neck.

I can only want so long to be recused from the dragon.

"Bena!" it was Eric, he was my partner in crime, more like babysitter. He had the power to summon fire. I learned that once, on one of my many attempts to escape.

Then I learned to conform to be what Aro and my brother want from me, to be Aro's weapon against humankind.

Aro believes the humans were getting too smart, they were noticing the disappearance of their kind, and seeing the symptoms of the people who weren't filling alive. And I was to stop that, to recreate their ignorance again. Forcing my body into its human form, made me tired, and more then usual, a day of humanity allocated a day of sleep. And it also made it harder to change back into a vampire, I can be humans for weeks on end. My brother thinks changing is making me sick, but Aro will hear nothing of my weakness. I am his creation after all and what he does with me is his own business. I think Aro wants me human, though, I am weaker that way, less likely to do anything reckless.

But Aro doesn't know how unstable a teenage I can really be. He thinks my hormones stopped following after my heart stopped pumping but they didn't. I wish sometimes I can turn them off or down, I bet my mom could do that.

"Bena, hurry up," Eric gave me is usual annoyed look.

"I'm coming, hothead, cool it, would you." Eric does like the jokes, he glares, sparks fly with a snap of his fingers. "Okay, I am coming, where do you want me?" I asked, darting out of my room.

"Something is different about you," he scans me up and down.

"I believe now," I simply said, he nodded.

"It's the ring. You gave up on your little lover boy?" he chuckled. I said nothing in response as we walked to ground level so I can get some fresh blood.

The square was busy, it usually is on a Tuesday afternoon. Everyone's face blends together in my mind, I try not to look at them too much. So that I don't feel too guilty when I send them to here death.

"Are you a tour guide?" a mother asked cheery as she held a little boys hand. They are all decked out in fanny packs and visors. The little boy had storm gray eyes, that reminded me too much of my old home. I tell them No, they don't even know that I just spared their lives.

"I have a group for you," Eric beams as a crowd of eager tourists follow behind him. I succumb to my punishment, and put on the best smile I can muster.

When I started the tour, first pointing out all the historical landmarks, and architecture before I take them into the castle itself. There was this guy who keep on asks questions, he was in the back, and I try to never look any of them in the eye, cause of the guilt.

"What year did you say again?"

"Does it have AC?"

"Is there books about these I can buy?"

Totally random questions like that. I answered some of them, and ignored most of them. I even put on my nice voice when I told him to leave all his questions to the end. He won't shut up.

"So this is the castle, it sits on the far left of the town. It used to home to many of Italian royalty but now is just a tourist site." I explained.

"Are we going to go in?" he asked.

"We sure are," I tried not to show my annoyance. I ushered them inside, sharing with them stories of old hauntings and family scandals.

"Is this really safe?" he asked again.

"Yes, I go down here on every tour." Then continue to talk about the castle's history.

Finally we came to the room, the one were their lives end and I get to go back outside to look for more victims.

"And as you can see this is the throne room…" I began talking on about the usual.

When I finally said I was done and that the tour has ended. That they should take pictures as I go get them a free gift that comes with the tour, but I really never end up returning. When I go to leave, he grabs my arm.

"Leave me alone," realizing my now heavy Italian accent for the first time. "I have answered all your questions," I try to break away but I am human, and he is much stronger then me.

"I thought I would never see you again." He whispers. "When they told me…I thought they killed you, burned you." I chill ran through my body. I turned around to look at him. To actually look at him, "I am going to recuse you, Bena"

When I saw him, I didn't know if I should slap him or kiss him. I have written him off, never to aspect to see him again. But here he was…my savior, my darkness.

Mark.