A.N: I probably should have done this in the last chapter, so I'm back from a long hiatus. I had to figure some stuff out and because of some things that happenned I completely lost my will to write but I'm back now and I'll try to make the best of this because this fic is my baby,
Spencer's POV:
I feel bad about the way I reacted to Ashley's question. This isn't how it's supposed to be, I'm not supposed to be mad at her and she's not supposed to feel guilty. I'm the one she should be mad at. I shouldn't have kissed her, it's just that…
I'm not sure, I miss Carmen so much and it's my fault she's gone. I'd give anything to have her back, anything.
"Do…do you have feelings for me?" Do I?
Ashley is adorable and she makes me feel so much better, she's beautiful and has this huge heart. But am I ready to give myself to someone again? To someone who isn't even staying for long.
"Spencer come down to dinner!" Mom yelled from downstairs. I sighed and made my way to the table. After saying grace I hardly ate anything as usual. I have to go apologize to Ashley, I haven't been fair to her.
After dinner I took my jacket and went to the Dennison's house. Kyla and Ashley were sitting on the porch, the older sister laughing at something her younger sibling said.
The way Ashley scrunches her nose when she laughs is too damn adorable. Ashley turned around and saw me. I saw her face falling immediately and I felt bad.
"Hi." I said sliding my hands in my jeans' pockets. Kyla greeted back but Ashley just looked at her shoes, I instantly felt my stomach dropping. "Can we talk Ash?" I asked with a small voice afraid to raise it.
She kept staring at her shoes and I was about to turn around and leave when she finally looked up and gave a small nod.
She got up and walked to the fence, where we would be alone. Reached our destination she turned around and looked up with a cold glint in her eyes. "What?" She asked with an angry undertone.
What am I going to say anyway? I'm sorry about kissing you but you reminded me of my dead lover? Or I like you so much but I'm afraid to give this a chance because I'm afraid I'll hurt you just like I hurt Carmen?
"I'm sorry for the way I snapped at you, that was unfair of me and you didn't deserve it." I told her looking at her sad face.
"Anything else?" She asks not even bothering to look at me. I sighed, should I tell her or not?
"About a year ago.." Ashley didn't even give me a chance to continue.
"If you're going to tell me about Carmen don't, Aiden already did. He told me everything." She said with an almost aggressive tone.
Where the hell is this aggression coming from, why is she mad at me about Carmen?
"I don't get why you're angry Ashley." I said confused.
"Aiden told me how you left her there to die after the accident, how you didn't even call an ambulance what kind of person does that Spencer?"
Why the fuck would Aiden tell her such bullshit? He doesn't know anything about what happened. I took all I had to stop myself from getting in the house and beating the shit out of that kid.
Ashley turned around to go inside. I furiously grabbed her shoulder. "And you immediately listen to the shit he says without even asking me about it?" I yelled at her, I was furious at her for believing him without even asking me anything. Ashley stood there with her mouth slightly open, not knowing what to say.
"That asshole wasn't there that night! I tried calling an ambulance after that truck came out of nowhere, I tried Ashley, fuck!" I yelled annoyed and near tears.
"My cell phone wasn't working and hers was in her pocket, I was afraid to move her, afraid I would cause more damage so I got out and ran to check on the truck driver but he wasn't moving either so I ran to the closest house which was miles from the spot we crashed. They weren't even home. When I got back there they were already gone to the hospital and Carmen was already dead." I told her full out crying now. Ashley stood there paralysed.
"I'm so sorry Spencer, I shouldn't have assumed without asking you and…I'm so sorry." Ashley said after a couple of seconds before closing her arms around me in a hug.
We stood there for a long time, just me in her arms trying to fight the tears. I leaned back from her.
"I didn't just kiss you because of…you know Carmen, I kissed you because I like you Ash, a lot but I feel like I'm cheating on Carmen because of this. Still I can't help how I feel." I told her truthfully afraid to get blown off.
Ashley looked surprised but that look soon made space for a smile. "I've liked you since the moment you came and asked me to go to the mall Spencer and I know how hard it is to lose someone you love." She said with a sad expression returning on that lovely face of hers.
I know she's talking about her dad. "I can't help you with your grieving but I can be here for you." She said while a tear rolled down her face.
I stretched my hand and caught it when it reached her check. She leaned into my touch and held my hand with both of hers.
"We don't have to rush anything, we can take baby steps. I promise I won't even try to kiss you until you're ready for that." She said and released a sigh.
Ashley is perfect, she really is. I grabbed her face with both of my hands and kissed her, just a quick kiss on the lips. I nodded. "Okay, baby steps." I said smiling.
She laughed relieved and gave me a quick peck which made me smile like a buffoon. "Come upstairs, let's just lie down or something." She said nodding towards the house.
So that's what we did for the rest of the evening, just laying in her bed with the occasional kiss and hug now and then.