Chapter 28: Angel's Purpose

The first thing that Kazuya noted was the bright wings. She wore so much white that even though he was able to look at her she was still blinding. Her soft blond hair was tied up in a bun and tendrils of hair fell down onto her face. She looked at him with bright blue eyes and smiled.

"What are you?" Kazuya finally questioned.

"Angel."

"You're an angel?"

"I'm Angel"

"Your name is Angel?"

"Correct."

"But you're not an angel?"

"Well, I'm certainly not a human. I'm not just another 'voice'. I was sent here for a reason, to keep an eye out on you. It's not often a human receives such attention, you should feel honored."

"I'm guessing, 'Angel' isn't your real name."

"Fine, if you're so concerned about it, I'll just tell you: No, it isn't, but you're just a human. That you could ever be on first name basis with me is preposterous. I've been ordered to be as accommodating as I can towards you, but that isn't a line I wish to cross."

"You keep saying that someone sent you or you were ordered to do something. From who exactly?"

"Yet another example of information you are not entitled to."

"If this is you being accommodating, I'd hate to see the flip-side."

"Pray that you won't. For the time being, I am your ally."

"You talk as if there's a war going on."

"There's always a war going on whether you're ignorant to it or not. Good and evil always coincide with one another—one inspires the other. In this realm, it is far more prevalent. Every choice that one makes is either considered good or evil. Humans like to invent their own gray area, but in the grand scheme of things there is no such thing. Now, I'm not told much—I only do what is assigned for me to do, but I'd say that deal you made with Devil—a very, old and perpetual evil that always exist here—has tipped the scales a little too much for comfort, so much so that an angel would be asked to make sure nothing catastrophic occurs."

"I've never asked for any help on that matter. What happens when I say I resent you being here in the first place—I can take care of myself."

"Well, you've been doing a poor job of it. Devil strings you along like any other weak fool. In fact, you can no longer distinguish his voice from your own. That is a dangerous situation to be in and unless someone was to point it out to you, you'd be none the wiser."

"What? What are you saying?"

"You've been following Devil's will so freely that it's obvious you have no clue as to what's really happening. You think your thoughts are your own, but they are not. Some time ago, your own thoughts ceased and they have painstakingly been replaced by that of Devil's."

"That's…impossible. I…"

"What proof do you have that it is otherwise? If you thought you were somehow winning this war you have with Devil, then you are sadly mistaken. Do you realize what you've done since then, since Devil has taken more control? What of Uramesh?"

"He deserved it."

"The situation doesn't matter in the end. You committed the act of killing—that isn't something Kazuya could do on his own. Traveling to other countries for the mere purpose of hurting others and strengthening yourself, isn't something that Kazuya would bother with."

"Stop referring to me in third person—

"I can when the shoe fits. Who am I talking to even now? When will you realize that the thoughts you have now are no longer your own. The thoughts that are clearly against what I am saying or ones that would try to justify killing another person or the ones that are trying to convince you that your thoughts are your own—those are the very ones that I speak of. The real Kazuya would take the time and examine if what I say is true."

"Now you stand there acting like you know me. We've only just met and you tell me something like this? Any sane person wouldn't think twice in ignoring you."

"Humans aren't so complex that they can't all fit into certain archetypes. Devil has figured you out completely—it doesn't take a rocket scientist. What you like, what you don't like, your wants, your needs—in the end, all humans are predictable. I don't have to know you to understand who you are or rather who you are supposed to be. Kazuya, I'm here to make sure you don't do anything stupid. You are to be watched 24-7."

"What exactly is 'stupid' for you angels?"

"Committing one of the higher classed sins."

"Which are?"

"Humans are born with strong moral compasses more so than other beings. If you listen to your soul or the more vernacular term "heart", there will never be any questions as to what I'm talking about."

"A moral compass, you say. What planet do you come from? People all around are murdered by the same people you say have such a thing."

"Many humans choose to ignore it. They are born with so many gifts, but most choose to downgrade themselves to despicably low levels—it is in a human's nature to squander all that they are entitled to. Some even claim that they were not entitled to it in the first place. Some will say that their brains are too dull or fractured to understand good or evil. I assure you, this is not true. The brain has nothing to do with it. It is one's soul; that is where the "You" lives. You are no different, Kazuya. You'll be able to feel when you're doing the wrong thing."

"Angel," Kazuya said after a moment, "Is it true what you said? That my thoughts are not my own anymore"

"That you're beginning to believe me is a good sign. Yes, it is very true. I wouldn't lie to you."

"You lied to me about your name."

"I protected myself by not giving you my real name. It is merely a pseudonym and a very obvious one at that. I'm an angel; I was not created to lead humans astray."

"Yes, you came here to help me. Then why don't you do something for me?"

"What is it?"

"Cure me."

"Absolve Devil's presence in your mind?"

"Sure, that."

"I cannot. You agreed to a binding contract with Devil. Once a contract is made, it is highly improbable that it could ever be broken—and it isn't good practice. There are a set of rules that even evil must obey. I haven't been given the power to break the contract if it is possible."

"Then what about that person who gives you orders?"

"I have already been given orders, I cannot ask for more or less."

"Everyone's problems would be resolved easily if I could just get from under Devil's thumb."

"You mean your problems would be resolved. I do not question my orders and I trust that they were given in good faith. There must be a good reason why I was only sent to observe and point things out for you. As I heard a human say once, you can only deal with what you have. Make the best of my guidance and perhaps you'll have a brighter future. Now, I have been kind enough to talk to you in my visible form, but it is pertinent that I remain invisible so as not to be seen by unwanted humans. If you don't have any more questions…."

"No, I don't. Just go."

"I'll simply disappear, but I'll still be nearby."

Kazuya sat on his bed in silent contemplation. Devil had been there the whole time. He shouldn't have been surprised, though. When was it not there? Aside from Jun's presence, there was no way Kazuya alone could be rid of it. Why had he even begun to believe that? What power did he really have over anything? If he always assumed the worst, then he wouldn't be in this situation now.

The fact that he could no longer tell when Devil was there whispering its sly commands scared him the most. He was no longer safe—his own thoughts were no longer safe. What if the thoughts going through his mind at this moment were also false? What could he possibly do? Even with an angel on his shoulder, there was really nothing to be done. Follow his soul? He no longer had one and if it really existed, it was probably charred to a crispy black. Kazuya held no pretenses about himself. How long was he going to keep this up? How long until…

BRIIING BRIIING BRIING!

Kazuya was startled by the sudden ringing of his phone. He stared at it strangely for a moment as another round of ringing went by. That he still had a cellphone surprised him the most never mind who could be calling him. He finally picked up the cell after another moment and looked at the name spread across the small screen: Jun.

"Hello?" Kazuya answered uncertainly to the phone.

"It's me Jun. We haven't talked in so long. Sorry about that, I've just been so busy. Adjusting to life at the university took a lot more out of me than I thought."

"I haven't called either. I guess you could say I've been busy."

"Of course you are. I bet your grandfather's been training you extra hard to take over his position. It sounds like you've gotten a lot better. Are you okay?"

"Okay as in I'm able to walk around on my own? Yes. But enough about me; how have you been doing?"

"Life at the university is so different. I mean, I'm still getting over the fact that my mom isn't always there reminding me to do things—everything depends on me now. It's…nice and scary at the same time."

"Ah, your first taste of independence. I'm sure you'll get used to it. In fact, you might even find it more to your liking."

"I think I already am. I've made a lot of friends. Sometimes my social life runs right into my work—I never thought I would have to turn people down from hanging out. It's really like a new adventure. Only…"

"What is it?"

"Only sometimes…I find myself wishing that you were here to experience the same thing. This environment, I think it would have been something you might have liked."

"I doubt it. But for you, I think it's a perfect match."

"You like to exercise a lot, right? There's people like that here too. People from all walks of life come here. Surely, even you could have found your niche."

"Well, if you say so, then it must be true."

Jun laughed when he said this. "Oh, yeah, because I'm always right," she said with playful sarcasm.

"If it's something that you believe, then it could hardly be wrong."

"You know, you're only person who would say that to ,e. I've been getting so used to having to prove myself to everyone that I forgot that there's a little something called trust that could supersede all that."

"Give it time. They don't know you as well as I do."

"It's really nice to hear you say that. You know, I was a little scared about calling you—I thought you would be well, angry or disappointed because I hadn't done so sooner. I know you pretty well too. When it comes to communication, it always falls on me."

"I'm the last person who would be angry at you for that. It's the least I could do, I suppose."

"Well, believe it or not, there was a reason that I called you today. Spring break is coming up in a couple of days and I wanted to tell you that I'm flying back home for it. I could come visit you—we could make up for lost time."

"No."

"No what," Jun asked with confusion.

"You don't have to come and visit me. You should see your mom. I'm sure she misses you."

"Yeah, I know she does. She's called me dozens of times. But what about you? Do you…miss me?"

"Of course I do."

"Well then, I'll visit."

"That isn't a good idea. Just trust me on this, it isn't a good idea."

"I don't understand you sometimes. You tell me one thing and then do another. Look, let me explain this to you. When you miss someone, you want them to come visit as soon as they can. Now, I'm coming to visit and that's that."

"Wait, Jun—

But Jun had already hung up probably because she didn't want to hear anything else contradictory towards her point. Then again, Kazuya didn't think he could explain himself properly in the first place especially when it hardly made sense in his own mind. Part of him was glad that Jun was a person who couldn't take no for an answer. When she got like that, he knew there was nothing he could tell her to convince her otherwise no matter what, no matter if she had no clue where exactly he was residing or anything that had happened to him over these past few years. Somehow, Kazuya knew that she would get anything that she put her mind to and there was no way for him to stop her. It was comforting above all else.

But another part of him—the one that was more cautious—was leery of Jun's inability to just listen to him. How could he ever protect her if she was always so headstrong? He was no longer safe to be around in the first place. He was like a ticking bomb and he didn't want Jun anywhere near when everything went south. The best way to really protect Jun was to stop associating with her altogether, but he was too selfish to go so far as that. He wasn't ready to sacrifice his one semblance of normalcy just to protect the only person left alive he still loved. In fact, it was likely impossible for him to do.

Kazuya looked over at the dresser top full of medicine. He perused all of it for almost half an hour before finally settling on two liquid based ones. Funny though, he didn't feel so sick as of now, but it was always a good thing to play it safe.

Still there was no sign of Devil. After what Angel had told him there was nothing anyone could say that could explain this fact away. It just wasn't good. He never imagined that he would ever prefer Devil's voice over its silence.

"Devil," Kazuya said aloud. "We haven't talked in a while. Whatever it is you're planning, I think it'd go a lot smoother if you just told me."

He waited and waited and waited, but no one answered him.

"Devil," Kazuya pleaded, "Just tell me what it is you want. If this is some kind of punishment—I think you've made your point."

Kazuya crossed his arms in annoyance when the only thing he received was more silence.

"You're scared, aren't you?"

Kazuya looked up in surprise. It was Devil's voice once again.

"That's what I like to see, little man."

"I'm not scared," Kazuya retorted.

"You can't hide anything from me, boy. Are you really going to listen to that Angel character? How could you trust some stranger over—

"Over someone who has my best interest at heart? I'll take my chances. Tell me, Devil, why is it that you've been silent for so long?"

"I do that from time to time mostly when there's nothing to be said. You've been doing exactly as I wanted—why fix what's not broken?"

"Oh really, is that the reason? You honestly want me to believe that. I've never done exactly what you wanted. There was always something you didn't like and you'd complain about it. Now, it's different."

"You can believe what you want. That Angel friend of yours is nothing to be so proud of. You asked her to do one thing and she couldn't do it. What kind of friend is that? You asked me to spare your life and I did just that."

"That's the only thing you've done for me."

"I've made you stronger, far more driven than any other sniveling human could ever be."

"Funny, I think my father would have said the same thing, but in the end, he didn't help me at all."

"You're comparing me to that despicable man?"

"Well, aren't you the pot calling the kettle black?"

"I don't think you understand who it is you're dealing with."

"You're Devil, right?"

"You can say my name all you like, but you still don't understand. My influence is far reaching. In a snap, I could have you die or make you wish you were dead."

"Then what's stopping you?"

"Haven't I told you before? I chose you out of so many. I'm not going to simply walk away because of something as trivial as stubbornness. There are many ways to get around that."

"Like shaping my thoughts to be your own?"

"Well, that is what a devil is good at, don't you think? Manipulation is practically my middle name—it's no secret."

"Then how am I supposed to trust a single word you say?"

"Easy. It's because you have to. You can only take what I give you. Remember, Kazuya, you are no longer in control. You forfeit that right when you made that deal with me. You may think you've been 'successful' thus far, but you're just a fish in a small pond. In the end, I'll have my way one way or the other. Really, I don't understand why you put so much effort into denying me—it's useless."

"It's just something I have to do. I don't need a reason for it. When one's life is being threatened, one tends to hold onto life for as long as they can."

"Even a person like you? You don't even enjoy life. What exactly are you living for? What's wrong?—can't answer?"

"There is something…or someone."

"Ah, the very person I can't stand to be around.

"That comes as no surprise—you hate anyone that I happen to like."

"I hate people who get in my way, that is all."

"She doesn't get in your way."

"Oh, she does, more than you know."

"You won't have to worry much anyways—it's not likely I'll see her anytime soon."

"That doesn't matter—you want to see her again and that is just as bad."

"It doesn't matter what I want anymore. There is something that I must do—that is the only reason I try my hardest to deal with the cards given to me—even you. Devil, you have to do me one favor."

"I've given you enough favors."

"Don't try to hang that over my head—if it didn't benefit you, then you would not have saved me in the first place. We're equal as far as favors go. Besides, I'm not asking for a lot. You have to promise me that you will never lay a hand on Jun no matter what the circumstances no matter if you have a dire need to."

"Well, that's an easy one to keep—I wouldn't want anything to do with her."

"I don't want you to harm her in the least even when I'm no longer myself."

"I thought you were so obstinate about the fact that I'll never have control over you. All you've ever done is try to stop the inevitable. It sounds like you've finally gotten more realistic—I guess humans can learn."

"I was younger then—more naïve. I've lived with you for many years and I realize that this isn't something I could keep up for the rest of my life however long it will be. My will…isn't as strong as it used to be. It's as if, the closer I get to my goal, the less I feel like fighting against you. I'm almost certain that you will get your way sooner or later whether I want you to or not. I've thought about it and I really don't care what happens to me so long as Jun is kept safe and is able to live a long and healthy life."

"It sounds like you're offering me something here, boy."

"Take it however you want. I will never offer myself to you, but you'll just have to try a lot harder if you truly want your way. What do you say, Devil, will you honor my request?"

"You really don't understand your position, do you? To think you have the audacity to order me around of all people—fine, I'll do it," Devil said with a sigh, "I think it would work more in my favor if I simply accept. There, you happy?"

"I think demons can't be as bad as Angel would have me think. They can be sly and underhanded, but not completely unreasonable."

"Ha! You're far too optimistic for your own good."

"I have to be. Either that or wallow in depression and that isn't very productive."

"You do realize that this is the longest we've spoken to each other," Devil pointed out.

"You do realize that this is the loneliest I've ever been. Who else could I speak to if not you?"

"There's that angel."

"I don't know her very well. You've been with me for so long that I feel that I could trust you with some things."

"And the naïve Kazuya returns."

"I mean it. I don't plan on having a lot of friends—I don't want them. All I'd do is hurt them in the end. In many ways, you know me more than anyone else. In the end, you'll be the only voice I can hear."

"Humans are such strange creatures. They'll befriend the very person who's trying to kill them."

"I know who you are. I know what you're trying to do," Kazuya said as he began to climb back into bed. The medicine must have finally taken affect. "And that's why I can trust you. Can one even call it betrayal if they already see it coming?"

"If I were something besides a demon, I might even feel a little guilty."

"But you're not," Kazuya said as he closed his eyes. "It's not in your nature. Don't try to be something you can never be."

"Naïve child, you don't have to tell me twice."

/

AN: A lot of talking in this one, I know. But don't worry, I'm sensing a Jun person coming up in the next chapter. Stay tuned.